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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:44:42 GMT -6
The CW logo appears on the screen as a cheesy voice over announcer guy is heard in the background. Tonight, One Tree Hill and Smallville are being pre-empted to bring you this special presentation of
Sports Nutz Wrestling.Shot opens inside the Fair Park Coliseum as the audience is cheering their heads off. All of the SNW personalities, with the faces on one side of the arena and the heels on the other, are in attendance. "Ecstasy Of Gold" booms over the PA, and the crowd boos in disapproval as "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, dressed in a tuxedo, walks out to the stage. George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller, also attired in tuxedos, accompany Gordie.GORDIE
Welcome to the Sportys, where we will be honoring the hard work and dedication that everyone has displayed in SNW. So it is fitting that we go ahead and hand out the first award of the night for Broadcaster Of The Year. This award is handed out to the person who has displayed excellence in the field of broadcasting during his or her tenure in Sports Nutz Wrestling. And the winner is...Gordie tries to open the envelope, but is having no such luck. Craig asks Gordie to hand the envelope to him, and Gordie obliges. Craig opens the envelope, but suffers a paper cut in the process and runs off to the back screaming like a girl. George runs after him, shouting to come back as they disappear off screen while the audience laughs. Gordie turns his head to the back, then turns back toward the audience and shakes his head as he prepares to read who the winner is.GORDIE
Mark Followill!The audience applauds as Mark Followill gets up out of his seat and walks up to the stage to accept his Sporty trophy as Gordie steps away so that Mark can make his speech.MARK FOLLOWILL
You know, back when I was going to school at the University of North Texas, taking broadcast courses taught by famed former World Class Championship Wrestling announcer Bill Mercer, the furthest thing from my mind was being named Broadcaster Of The Year. What was on my mind was living out my dream to be a play by play broadcaster in professional sports, which I have accomplished having served as both the radio and television play by play broadcaster for the NBA's Dallas Mavericks. And of course as one of the many voices heard on Sports Nutz Wrestling telecasts. But I wouldn't be here had it not been for people such as Bill Mercer, and the people who gave me my first opportunities in the broadcast field, those people being Sportsradio 1310 the Ticket here in Dallas. Had they not forgiven me and let me have my job back when I said "Screw the organization, I'm moving to Austin," I might not be standing here tonight, accepting this award. So to Bill Mercer, everyone at the Ticket, and to all the Mavericks fans, I say thank you. And a big, special thank you to the SNW fans that voted for me.The audience applauds as Mark Followill nods his head in thanks and walks off the stage.SNW PRESENTS WRESTLESTOCK! LIVE, TOMORROW NIGHT AT 7 PM CENTRAL TIME, ONLY ON PPV! LIVE FROM THE SOLD OUT COTTON BOWL IN DALLAS, TX! |
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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:44:55 GMT -6
Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz are back at the podium.
GORDIE
Our next award is for the Best Patented Maneuver. Here to present the award is a man who forever is known for his patented maneuver, the Iron Claw... ladies and gentlemen, Kevin Von Erich!
The audience rises to their feet and gives a thunderous standing ovation as Kevin Von Erich walks out onto the stage. He shakes hands with Gordie and the Sports Nutz as they walk off. He tries to talk, but the audience is still applauding and cheering.
[/move][/b] Kevin is taken aback by the adulation of the crowd and even all of the SNW wrestlers, faces AND heels(save for the Mystery Man, as he's not in attendance) that he does his best to hold back tears of joy. After a few moments, he's able to thank the crowd as they finally quiet down.[/i] KEVIN VON ERICH
I can't thank you, the great Texas wrestling fans, enough for your appreciation of the hard work and sacrifices that my brothers, the great athletes of World Class, my father and myself all made to put you all through emotional roller coasters each and every night that we wrestled. I'd say every night that we laced the boots, but the only problem is that I wrestled barefoot.Everyone in the audience laughs Kevin's joking of how he used to wrestle barefoot.KEVIN VON ERICH
Now without further ado, the winner for Best Patented Maneuver.Kevin opens the envelope and takes out the sheet of paper.KEVIN VON ERICH
The award goes to Silvus for his Retribution Slam.The audience applauds as Silvus walks up to the stage to accept his award. He and Kevin shake hands, and Kevin hands Silvus his Sportys trophy. Kevin walks off stage as Silvus gives his acceptance speech.SILVUS
You know, not many people know this, but when I first came to SNW, my patented maneuver was simply known as the Retribution. The only problem was that Andrew Smith already had a DDT that he referred to as the Retribution.Camera shot switches for a brief moment to show Andrew Smith chuckling, then goes back to Silvus at the podium.SILVUS
So we did what any grown, mature adults would do. We cried and whined and yelled "He started it!" at each other.Everyone in the audience laughs.SILVUS
Seriously, though, we worked out a compromise, where my move was called the Retribution Slam, and Andrew's was the Retribution DDT. So right now, I want to thank all the fans for their support and voting for my Retribution Slam. And I'd also like to take this time to address my status with SNW. Yes, right now I am suspended from active competition, but I will be back before you know it. When I'll be back is for me to know, and for everyone else, even Nathaniel and Gordie, to find out.The audience applauds as Silvus walks off the stage with his Sporty award in his hand. He and Gordie, along with the Sports Nutz, cross paths, glaring at each other. Gordie and the Sports Nutz walk up to the podium.GORDIE
Now to present the Sporty for Tag Team Of The Year, George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller, the Sports Nutz.
DUNPORK
There have been many tag teams throughout wrestling's history, but when it comes to the greatest tag team of all time, you have to think of a team that has won tag team gold in every promotion they've been in.
CRAIG
That's right, George. Many would argue that the Dudleyz/Team 3D surpassed this tag team to be considered the greatest tag team of all time, but Bubba and D-Von can't compare to the greatness of the most dominant tag team of all time... the Sports Nutz.The audience, even some of the heels, boo their lungs out, as everyone was expecting the Sports Nutz to put over the Road Warriors as the greatest tag team of all time.[/color] DUNPORK
Hey! Hey! How can we not be considered the greatest tag team of all time?! We carried the Sports Authority to winning the first ever Stable Wars in FCW, and we became Grand Slam Tag Team Champions in a quicker amount of time than it took for the Road Warriors to become Triple Crown Tag Team Champions, and for the Dudleyz/Team 3D to become Grand Slam Tag Champions.
CRAIG
So it is with great pleasure that we award the Sporty for Tag Team Of The Year to...Craig opens the envelope, this time without any trouble. He takes a look at the paper as the expression on his face goes from shock to anger. He slams the paper down on the podium and storms off. George looks at the paper, and he too storms off. Gordie looks at the paper, rolls his eyes, and in a rather sheepish and reluctant tone announces that Syco Boy and Dave Mason, Xtreme Team, have won the Sporty for Tag Team Of The Year. The audience applauds as Syco and Dave, along with Sara Cannady, walk up to the stage. Gordie storms off, not even acknowledging them. Syco and Dave grab their respective Sportys trophies as they step up to the podium.DAVE MASON
First, I would like to thank my jar of dirt.The audience laughs at Dave's mock thanks. Everyone quiets down as Syco is about to say something, but pauses.
Syco finally takes a deep breath.SYCO BOY
I like eggs.The crowd goes crazy as Xtreme Team walk off the stage. Camera shot switches to the heel section, where we see all of the Dark Ones rolling their eyes. Wench and Goryokaku look especially pissed.REAPER PRODUCTIONS! NOW OPEN FOR BUSINESS![/center] |
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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:45:35 GMT -6
Gordie, sans the Sports Nutz, is back at the podium.
GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that I announce the Pay Per View Of The Year Award. The nominees were 4 Up, Summer Bash, Natural Selection and It's Christmas Dammit. The winner is... Natural Selection!
The audience applauds as a montage video of highlights from Natural Selection is shown, set to the original version of AC/DC's "Shoot To Thrill" playing in the background. We see Azrael destroying the Sports Authority; Adriana Samu turning on Stank Lovve; Alex Daniels nailing Enigmah with the Thunderbolt; Dredd grabbing Xavier Serikaz in a full nelson, lifting him up and dumping him to the floor; Omerta spitting green mist into Cyanide's face; and numerous highlights from the TLC match, ending with Dredd holding the briefcase triumphantly over his head. The audience applauds as the camera shot goes back to Gordie at the podium.
GORDIE
And now to present the Sporty award for Match Of The Year, soon to be WWE Hall Of Famer and SNW broadcaster, Koko B. Ware!
The audience applauds as Koko walks up to the stage, and even does his trademark Birdman dance. He and Gordie shake hands, and Gordie walks off.
KOKO B. WARE
First off, I want to thank all of you for your support as I look forward to being inducted into the WWE Hall Of Fame. Now, Match Of The Year is a very prestigious honor, as there are so many matches that take place throughout a calendar year. TO have your match be named THE match of the year in the promotion you worked for tells you that you and your opponent, or opponents, depending on the match, are the top talents in your company. Now let's find out who won the Sporty for Match Of The Year.
Koko opens the envelope.
KOKO B. WARE
Your match of the year is Silvus vs Hellspawn, No Disqualifications and No Count Outs for the SNW Texas Championship on the November 23, 2008 edition of SNW Onslaught in Southlake, Texas!
The audience applauds as both Hellspawn and Silvus walk up to the stage to accept their respective Sportys trophies. They stare each other down as they realize they have to share the podium for their acceptance speech.
SILVUS
I just have one thing to say... I won that match.
Most everyone in the audience laugh at Silvus' lighthearted comment. Hellspawn is not laughing, though. Rage builds up inside of him and he shoves Koko B. Ware down and lunges after Silvus, who quickly takes Hellspawn down with a Fujiwara Armbar. The Sports Nutz, Goryokaku and Alexander "Dark Sun" Draven rush the stage to break it up. As he's walking away, Silvus turns and smirks at Hellspawn. Livid, Hellspawn tries to lunge after Silvus, but he can't move as he's being restrained.
AVERAGE JOE'S GYM! YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE BODY OF AN ADONIS! JUST BE YOURSELF! |
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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:46:31 GMT -6
Gordie is back at the podium.
GORDIE
Now to present the award for Most Hated Wrestler Of The Year, I could think of no better villain to present this award than Gen. Skandor Akbar!
Gen. Skandor Akbar, clad in his trademark robe of many colors and white turban, makes his way to the podium to the applause of the audience. Gordie stands to the side as Akbar addresses the crowd.
SKANDOR AKBAR
Alright, listen up you snot-nosed American punks! This award isn't for sissies who shake people's hands, kiss babies and help old ladies cross the street! This award is for the nastiest wrestler going today, wrestlers that you punks don't appreciate! The winner for Most Hated Wrestler Of The Year...
Akbar opens the envelope.
SKANDOR AKBAR
What do you know? Two men who I trained and helped start this wrestling company to save Texas wrestling is voted Most Hated by you ungrateful punks. The winners of Most Hated Wrestlers are the Sports Nutz.
The crowd boos as the Sports Nutz walk up to the podium. To say they're pissed off is an understatement.
CRAIG
We revitalize Texas wrestling, and this is how you hillbillies repay us?!
DUNPORK
EFF EVERY ONE OF YOU IN HERE! EFF EVERYONE! YOU HATE US! WE HATE YOU TOO! EFF EVERY STINKING SINGLE ONE OF YOU RAT BASTARDS!
The Sports Nutz throw their Sportys down in disgust and storm off the stage. Gordie shakes his head, no doubt disappointed that the fans voted the Sports Nutz for Most Hated.
GORDIE
Moving right along, we go from the Most Hated to who you all voted as the Most Popular Wrestler Of The Year. To present the award for Most Popular, here is a man who is still popular among fans across the state of Texas, Action Jackson!
Action Jackson walks up to the podium as the audience applauds.
ACTION JACKSON
For someone to be named Most Popular Wrestler Of The Year is such an honor. It reminds us who it is that pays our bills, who keeps us going when the chips are down, you the fans. For years, I've had so much support from the fans, which was especially appreciated last year when I lost my mother, and not to long after my daughter.
AJ does his best to hold back his tears as everyone is respectful by not saying anything. AJ then picks himself back up.
ACTION JACKSON
As I've said, each and everyone of us that you fans cheer for appreciate the support that you show us. With all that said, let's see who the most popular wrestler in SNW is.
AJ opens the envelope.
ACTION JACKSON
The most popular wrestlers in SNW are Xtreme Team!
The audience applauds as Xtreme Team walks up to the stage, shakes hands with AJ, and accept their awards. They hold up their Sportys trophies and nod to the audience before walking off.
PLAY THE FIRST EVER SNW VIDEO GAME, SNW WRESTLESTOCK! AVAILABLE FOR XBOX 360, PLAYSTATION 3, PLAYSTATION 2 AND NINTENDO WII! |
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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:47:15 GMT -6
Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz, who have gotten over themselves from their earlier tantrum, stand at the podium.
GORDIE
Here to present the award for Non-Wrestler Of The Year, wrestling manager extraordinaire, the Doctor of Style, Slick!
Slick waltzes up on stage as the crowd applauds. They pop extra loud as "Jive Soul Bro" is blaring over the PA system. Slick seems to be a bit shocked that he got music. Gordie and the Sports Nutz make fools of themselves flashing gang signs and what not, as Slick just looks at them, befuddled. Realizing what a mockery they've made, they walk off camera.
SLICK
Imagine that, I'm the only one who gets any music around here! Now the Non-Wrestler Of The Year Award is reserved for those who do their best work outside of the ring. Some of them are known as managers as they guide someone's career. Others are known as valets, as women who are their to support their man or men, or sometimes even women.
The audience laughs as Slick shudders.
SLICK
Other non-wrestlers are referred to as agents, men who not only help to guide their men's careers, but also try to get the best money deals for them. So now, without further ado, let's find out who this year's non-wrestler is.
Slick opens the envelope and takes out the piece of paper.
SLICK
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath!
The audience boos at an all time deafening level as Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz run up to the podium. George and Craig jump up and down, hooping and hollering as Gordie grabs his Sporty trophy from Slick and holds it high in the air, screaming "THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!" Slick leaves the stage as Gordie high-fives George and Craig. After calming down, they proceed with the show.
GORDIE
I would like to take the time to thank some people, but I can always thank them via email this weekend, as I have a big musical number coming up, so let's get to wrapping this up. Next up is the Emergency Brake Of The Year. Here to present the award, from Sportsradio 1310 the Ticket, one of the all-time leaders in Emergency Brake of the Week awards won on the Dunham and Miller Show, ladies and gentlemen, Norm Hitzges!
Norm, using his walking cane, walks up to the stage. Before he can make it to the podium, his face starts twitching. He falls down to the floor and convulses, shaking his right leg up in the air as the crowd is horrified. Several jobber wrestlers rush up stage to help him up. He comes to and they help him up and off the stage.
GORDIE
Good gosh, get him off the stage already so we can get on with the show!
The crowd boos tremendously loud as George grabs his nuts at them, and Craig turns around and tells the audience to kiss his fanny by kissing his hand and slapping his ass with it. After the crowd dies down, the show moves along.
GORDIE
The winner of the Emergency Brake Of The Year goes to... Vince Bischoff as owner of SNW. Unfortunately, Vince isn't here, so I will just keep the trophy. Now we move right along to Stable Of The Year. To present this award, we want to bring out one of the founding members of one of the most infamous stables in Texas wrestling. From the Fabulous Freebirds, Michael "PS" Hayes!
"Badstreet USA" blares over the speakers as Michael Hayes walks up to the stage to a loud ovation from the crowd. He shakes hands with Gordie, George and Craig as they walk off.
MICHAEL HAYES
I don't remember getting cheered like this when I was in Texas.
There are many long time fans in the audience that know how to play along.
Michael smirks as the crowd dies down.
MICHAEL HAYES
OK, that's more like it. Moving right along, the award for Stable Of The Year is for a group of three or more wrestlers, and maybe even a valet or manager mixed in as well, that either stirs up trouble or puts troublemakers in their place. There have been many great stables such as the Four Horsemen, the New World Order, D-Generation X, the Triple Threat, the Hart Foundation, and of course the Fabulous Freebirds. But there have been many failed stables, such as the Union, the Corporate Ministry, Voodoo Kin Mafia, and nWo 2000. Tonight, we honor the best stable in Sports Nutz Wrestling as voted by you, the fans. And the winning stable is...
Michael opens the envelope and takes out the paper.
MICHAEL HAYES
The Dark Ones!
The audience boos as Goryokaku, Dark Sun, Hellspawn, Wench and Tanya Adams all walk up onto the stage and toward the podium. They all accept their respective trophies as Gory begins to address the crowd.
GORYOKAKU
If you think we've done more than our fair share of taking over and running SNW, you're dead wrong. We've only just begun. With Gordon Heath and even the Sports Nutz backing us, there will be no stopping us. By the end of the year, all of the SNW championships will be held in our group, and there is nothing that any of you can do about it.
The audience boos as the Dark Ones walk off. Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz go back to the podium.
GORDIE
We save the best award for last. Then after that, we'll take one last commercial timeout, and then we'll close out the show with my musical number, "Stand Back." Now as we all know, the Wrestler Of The Year is the overall best wrestler in all of SNW. There could be any number of reasons someone is deemed the best wrestler. Maybe they have the greatest move set in the company. Maybe they've held titles for the longest time, or have won multiple titles. Whatever the case is, you the fans have voted this person as the Wrestler Of The Year. Now, the wait is over. The Wrestler Of The Year 2008, in the year of our sweet, clean Lord Jesus Christ is...
There is a long drumroll. Even though it's only about a minute, it feels like five minutes. The Sports Nutz chime and begin singing the first lines of "Joy To The World." Finally, the drumroll stops.
GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen... the winner is... "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!
Kid Thunder runs up to the stage and bearhugs Gordie, then high fives the Sports Nutz. Kid Thunder grabs his trophy, kisses it, and runs a victory lap circle for over a minute as the crowd boos him out of the building. He goes up to the podium to give his acceptance speech.
KID THUNDER
First off, I want to thank all of the REAL wrestling fans, the ones who realize what this great sport is about, for voting for me. For over a year, I've been telling all of you that I am the best wrestler in all of SNW, and now I have concrete proof with this trophy! And tomorrow, I will finally win my first ever championship in SNW when I win the Von Erich Memorial Title tomorrow at WrestleStock! I'm a winner! WOOOOOOOOO!
Kid Thunder runs around, pumping his fist in the air as the audience boos him.
GORDIE
Alright, congratulations to "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels. We'll take one last break, then up next, I perform my big music number!
END GAME, THE VIDEO GAME OUTLET OWNED AND OPERATED BY SOUL REAPER! |
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Post by Hollywood on Mar 28, 2009 13:47:52 GMT -6
Shot opens to the podium, Mark Bishopwhere now is standing.
MARK BISHOP
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the Sportys. I'm Mark Bishop, and now to close out the Sportys, Gordon Heath performing "Stand Back!"
The audience boos its lungs out as the camera shot switches to the SNW Bad Boys Band, headed up by Hellspawn at the top of a platform, playing the guitar. Down on the stage on the viewer's left, we see "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, Viper, C-Pac and Doomsday on the trumphets, and on the right we see Goryokaku, Dark Sun and the Sports Nutz on the saxophones. Wench and Tanya Adams, decked out in short black skirts and black tube tops, lead Gordon Heath, decked out in jeans and a blue bowler's shirt, onto the stage. Camera shot shows Mike Rutherford and Andrew Smith standing up, with their backs turned to the performance.
When I was just a boy, everybody told me
What I should do, who I should be
I got some kind and free advice
I finally had to say "stand back"
STAND BACK!
They never understood the kind of man I am
I do my own thinking, got a lot of big plans, stand back.
STAND BACK!
But all of you who wanna bring me down, and have used
to stand in my way, I promise you'll lose, stand back!
STAND BACK!
I never will be just an ordinary guy
I'll always push harder, reaching for the sky, stand back!
STAND BACK!
That's a fact!
I'm a man runnin' wild, headin' for the top
Never slowin' down, never gonna stop
Along the way you're gonna see a lot of men drop!
Baby watch them drop
Baby, baby, BABY WATCH 'EM DROP, STAND BACK!
STAND BACK!
Gordie continues to dance with Tanya and Wench as the music keeps playing. Andrew Smith and Mike Rutherford have had enough and jump onto the stage, tackling Gordie. The music stops as the SNW Bad Boys Band stop what they're doing and go after TNT. Before you know it, the entire SNW roster is up on the stage, tearing everything apart and beating each other up as the audience goes wild. Omerta hits Cyanide over the head with one of the drums, and Hellspawn smashes his guitar over Soul Reaper's head. Everyone on stage is brawling as the show fades out. [/color] |
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