Post by Hollywood on Jul 9, 2009 17:46:13 GMT -6
It was business as usual at the Darkness Casino in Downtown Dallas, Texas. One by one, everyone dropped what they were doing as their jaws dropped, shocked at the sight of who stepped through the doors. No, Michael Jackson hadn't faked his death. The frayed jeans and black Iron Maiden T-shirt pretty much told the story. Matt Margera, the last man anybody expected to do business at the Darkness Casino considering his past with the Dark Ones, stepped up to the blackjack table. He won the first time around, probably on pure luck. But then he won the second and third times, and kept his winning streak going. Being the wise man he is, Matt stopped while he was ahead, got up and left the blackjack table. Matt motioned for the camera man that he hired to come and document the happenings to follow along beside him as he made his way to claim his winnings, with Matt turning his head to the side to face the camera now and then while he spoke.
MATT MARGERA
People gambling their life savings away as if they didn't give a damn about whether they'd be sending themselves into the poor house. According to them, the government's already done that by not controlling gas prices; allowing greedy CEOs to swallow up companies out of the blue; and not doing anything about corporations that fire hard working employees due to "budget cuts" while the greedy fat cats can rake in millions in bonuses. So really, why give a flying fuck? Why not live a little and maybe, just maybe, get lucky and be able to free themselves from the shackles of the man? That's exactly what Vin Sin and I are doing this coming Saturday night on No Holds Barred... live on FOX at 7 PM Central Time, by the way. You see, this Saturday night, Vin Sin and I will spin the wheel and make the deal. We could wind up competing in any sort of match that not even the Devil himself would want to partake in. So I figured, hey, why not go ahead and live a little myself tonight? After all, what better way to prepare for a match where I won't know what the rules are until after the spin of the wheel than to take some big gambles, with the first big gamble stepping foot inside the Darkness Casino. Going to another casino where either nobody knew me or everybody loved me was way too easy. I had to come to a place where I could've easily been beaten to within an inch of my life and not make it to No Holds Barred. I had to come to a place where the owners could've easily rigged the games to where I couldn't win, no matter how great I did... kinda like the NBA, but I digress. As I searched for the perfect casino, it became crystal clear that the only place where I could go that had all of the danger I was looking for was the Darkness Casino.
Matt stopped his little speech as he passed by a familiar face, nodding his head to her. The familiar face bore a striking resemblence to Jessica Simpson, who seemed a bit awestruck at the sight of Matt. Her boyfriend, who looked a lot like Tony Romo, was not amused as he walked with her, arm in arm.
[/color]MATT MARGERA
People gambling their life savings away as if they didn't give a damn about whether they'd be sending themselves into the poor house. According to them, the government's already done that by not controlling gas prices; allowing greedy CEOs to swallow up companies out of the blue; and not doing anything about corporations that fire hard working employees due to "budget cuts" while the greedy fat cats can rake in millions in bonuses. So really, why give a flying fuck? Why not live a little and maybe, just maybe, get lucky and be able to free themselves from the shackles of the man? That's exactly what Vin Sin and I are doing this coming Saturday night on No Holds Barred... live on FOX at 7 PM Central Time, by the way. You see, this Saturday night, Vin Sin and I will spin the wheel and make the deal. We could wind up competing in any sort of match that not even the Devil himself would want to partake in. So I figured, hey, why not go ahead and live a little myself tonight? After all, what better way to prepare for a match where I won't know what the rules are until after the spin of the wheel than to take some big gambles, with the first big gamble stepping foot inside the Darkness Casino. Going to another casino where either nobody knew me or everybody loved me was way too easy. I had to come to a place where I could've easily been beaten to within an inch of my life and not make it to No Holds Barred. I had to come to a place where the owners could've easily rigged the games to where I couldn't win, no matter how great I did... kinda like the NBA, but I digress. As I searched for the perfect casino, it became crystal clear that the only place where I could go that had all of the danger I was looking for was the Darkness Casino.
Matt stopped his little speech as he passed by a familiar face, nodding his head to her. The familiar face bore a striking resemblence to Jessica Simpson, who seemed a bit awestruck at the sight of Matt. Her boyfriend, who looked a lot like Tony Romo, was not amused as he walked with her, arm in arm.
TONY ROMO?
Do you mind?!
JESSICA SIMPSON?
Hey, it's not my fault that he's done something you can't. Win a championship.
The Tony look-a-like was not at all amused as he stormed off, not minding the fact that he had let go of the girl's arm, leaving her free to flirt with Matt if she so desired. The Jessica look-a-like just shrugged her shoulders and walked off while Matt shook his head, chuckled, and went on about his business.
MATT MARGERA
I could've continued to scoreboard that poor schmuck, but I thought I'd stop while I was ahead. Anywho, as I previously stated, the Darkness Casino was the only casino worthy enough for me to go for a thrill ride of danger and excitement. You see, for the past several years, I've been embroiled in a bitter feud with this group known as the Dark Ones, dating back to another wrestling promotion we had wrestled for. They had done everything to try to turn my life upside down, but I would always come back fighting. Then last year, after they beat me and the Sports Authority, they thought they had been rid of me for good. Nathaniel "Goryokaku" Draven thought he had gotten rid of me. But that wasn't the case. You see, I happen to have eyes and ears everywhere, and a "little birdie" warned me how the Dark Ones and the Sports Authority were actually in cohoots, and that if I didn't leave now, they'd force me out. The whole Dark Ones/Sports Authority war was nothing more than smoke and mirrors in order to try and fool me, and for awhile it had fooled Codi Shane. Being the naive girl that she was at the time, she stayed to work behind the scenes at SNW, as she had been promised the world, only for no one to help her when she was brutally beaten by the Young Gunz. So I leave SNW, and in doing so allow myself to bide my time and make my next move. I knew that ultimately, SNW, a wrestling promotion that I actually helped conceptualize, despite what Gordie and the Sports Nutz may say, would be run into the ground if Nathaniel and Gordie continued to run it, and would really be run into the ground had Gordie kept full control. But I wasn't about to let my dream of being able to put Texas wrestling back on the map just fade away without as much as a whimper. You see, that "little birdie" also happened to be in on the proceedings when Nathaniel was selling his shares back to Gordie. Gordie instructed the "little birdie" to fax him a copy to the attorneys of both sides, who were unable to be present at the meeting. But that's where Gordie outsmarted himself, as that "little birdie" actually faxed the copy over to me, the same copy I showed Gordie last month at 4 Up. Now that you're up to speed on how I was able to worm my way back to SNW, let's re-iterate what I'm going to do to poor Vinnie Sin. Vin, it will matter not what match we are placed in, because I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger. What you did to my friend Codi was out of line. You know damn well that is not what I taught you at the Going Sports Nutz Academy, but instead you perverted my teachings to justify such actions. Thank goodness that this Saturday night, it is indeed No.... Holds.... Barred.
Matt arrived at the claims desk to redeem his winnings from the blackjack table as the scene faded to black. But just as the shot faded to black, it opened right back up.
MATT MARGERA
Oh yeah, um, I forgot to mention... Nathaniel Draven was never in that car as it got totaled by that Chevy Silverado. In fact, that whole farce was staged by himself and all his minions in order to try to play with everyone's minds. And that wasn't my Chevy Silverado. Mine has an SNW license plate on it. Just wanted to set the record straight.[/center]
