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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:03:06 GMT -6
Mark Followill: Welcome to SNW Onslaught, here at Bryan Adams High School in Dallas, TX, and what a way to kick off the show as the Sports Nutz take each other on!
Jason Martel: This is horrible! This wouldn't have happened if Hellspawn hadn't been allowed to come to power.
Monica Deluca: This match is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Coppell, TX and weighing 325 pounds, George Dunpork!
George approaches a group of teenage girls who obviously attend Bryan Adams High School, as evidenced by the school letterman jackets that they're wearing. The group of girls are taunting George, and in response, he gets in their faces and lets out a very loud belch, causing the girls to contort their faces and wave their hands in front of their faces in an attempt to wave off the bad smell of George's breath.
Mark Followill: What does that man eat that causes his breath to be so horrid?
Jason Martel: My guess would be garlic bread, a side of corn beef hash, and a big bag of Funyuns.
George laughs at the girls, but the laughing ends as Craig "Senior" Mueller sprints down the ramp and ambushes George with a running forearm shot that knocks George down. Craig sits on top of George and punches away at his forehead with a flurry of right hands as referee Danny Travers runs down to ringside to stop the melee and get the match in the ring so that it can be officially started. Craig gets up and shoves the ref down. Craig turns around, and George nails him with a low blow, stopping Craig in his tracks as he reaches down to his groin area, moaning in pain.
Mark Followill: I'm just going to sit back, relax and enjoy this match.
Jason Martel: And you ride me about being unprofessional.
George grabs Craig and rolls him into the ring, then follows him in as referee Danny Travers picks himself up and calls for the bell to officially start the match. George whips Craig into the ropes and goes for a standing clothesline, but Craig ducks and runs to the opposite side. Craig comes off the ropes and attempts a running cross body block, but George catches him, scoops him onto his shoulders and bodyslams him to the mat. George flexes his arms, nevermind he's such a fat ass, as the crowd boos him out of the building. George follows up with an attempted elbow drop, but Craig rolls out of the way. George crashes onto the mat, wincing in pain as he holds his elbow. Craig pounces George and the two fight on the ground, exchanging lefts and rights. Loud boos are heard as Matt Margera walks down to the ring.
Mark Followill: Now what is Matt Margera doing here?!
Jason Martel: Do I look like Inspector Gadget to you?
Matt marches over to the timekeeper's area and orders Monica Deluca to hand him the mic, to which she obliges. He walks into the ring and shouts "Hey! Hey! Stop it!" The Sports Nutz won't stop, so Matt has to grab Craig and get him off of George. Craig shouts at Matt, but Matt tells him to cool it. George shoots up and throws his hands up in the air and asks Matt what the hell he thinks he's doing.
Matt Margera: Look at you two! Fighting like schoolchildren! That's what these idiots out here want. And that'w what the Dark Ones want so that they can have full control of SNW. And you know, it was these stupid fans that turned us all against each other. It was people such as Adriana Samu, Summer Sammartino and Chris Maxwell that turned me against you two and vice versa. And for what? What has it gotten us? I'm no longer a co-owner of SNW, and you two are no longer general manager or commissioner. And why on earth did we ever let anyone talk us into turning against each other? For a few extra bucks that we blew on late night breakfasts at the Waffle House? After all, you two helped train me at Skandor Akbar's wrestling school. If we keep fighting each other, we won't have any control of SNW. I mean, do you really want the Dark Ones to pervert the vision we had for Texas wrestling making a comeback?
George and Craig nod their heads, realizing that they need to stop fighting. Matt says "Come here guys, group hug." Matt, George and Craig all share in manly hugs, even crying and saying "I'm so sorry" as the crowd boos at deafening levels.
Mark Followill: This is revolting!
Jason Martel: What are you talking about? This is the most touching moment in American television history since the ending to "It's A Wonderful Life."
Matt, Craig and George all stand side by side by side, raising each other's arms up in the air in triumph as the boos just get louder and louder.
--COMMERCIAL-- |
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:04:02 GMT -6
Mark Followill: A shocking turn of events here on SNW Onslaught, as Matt Margera has helped to reform the Sports Authority, and I understand that Brenda Price is standing by backstage with the Sports Authority. Brenda?
Shot switches to the backstage area, where Gordon Heath, Codi Shane, Matt Margera, George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller are standing by with Brenda Price in front of the SNW Onslaught banner.
Brenda Price: I'm here with the newly reformed Sports Authority. Matt, how could you team up with your sworn enemies?
Codi Shane: You dumb bimbo! Did you not listen to a word that Matt said when he was out there in that ring?!
Matt Margera: Brenda, since you had your head shoved straight up your ass, let me reiterate what I said. The Sports Nutz helped train me for my wrestling career. But somewhere down the line, I was told that I could make more money if I went on my own and got away from the Sports Nutz, and was even told by other powers that be in the business that I should fight against them to make even more money. Well guess what? One of those powers that be now works for Gordie here in SNW, another one of them is about to lose her company to someone who should be the full owner of the company anyway, and the other power that be has driven off half of his roster and more than two thirds of his audience with his hypocrisy. That said, I realized that we would lose all of a wrestling promotion that we all founded together if we didn't stop the in-fighting. Now...
Hellspawn, Wench, Goryokaku and Alexander Draven, sans his Dark Sun mask, walk into the camera shot. Both the Dark Ones and the Sports Authority are staring down at each other Before Hellspawn takes over the interview.
Hellspawn: Well, well, well. So the Sports Authority rides again. Although is it truly the Sports Authority, because Rod Stern, "Intellectual" Manny Saul, Abby, "Dirty" Douglas Out, Coach Tom Foolery and the Completely Italian Americans are nowhere to be seen. But I digress. You see, there seems to be some turmoil as far as the Texas Tag Titles are concerned. So in order to crown #1 contenders, there will be a triple threat tag match, first fall to a finish, pitting the Sports Nutz against Xtreme Team and the Alley Ratz. Good luck.
The Dark Ones walk off as the Sports Authority all glare at them. Shot switches back to the broadcast booth, where we see Mark Followill and Jason Martel sitting.
Mark Followill: What about that? Later on today, the #1 contenders to the Texas Tag Titles will be determined.
Jason Martel: Hellspawn should just hand the belts over to the Sports Nutz because we all know that Wench and Gory are nowhere in their league.
Mark Followill: What a piece of work you are.
Jason Martel: Just stating facts.
Mark Followill: Well up next, it's Alex Daniels taking on Criss Cassidy one on one. It looks to me that this could be a decent match. Let’s go to Monica to introduce the contenders.
"The Second Coming" by Juelz Santana blasts through the speakers, and Criss Cassidy appears from behind the curtains. He walks down the ramp wearing a dark red trench coat and a pair of Jordan shorts on as the crowd gives him a mixed reaction.
Monica Deluca: Introducing first, hailing from Brooklyn, NY and weighing in at 215 pounds hailing, Criss Cassidy!
Criss slides into the ring and takes off his coat as he waits in the middle of the ring. "Thunder Struck" booms across the PA system and Alex Daniels steps out in front of the curtain as the crowd boos loudly.
Monica Deluca: His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario Canada and weighing in at 220 pounds, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!
Alex Daniels walks down the ramp into the ring, takes off his entrance attire and turns around and runs into a clothesline from Criss Cassidy to a big pop from the crowd. Referee Mike Croft calls for the bell to begin the match. Criss stomps Alex into the mat. Criss walks away leaving Alex to get to his feet, they run to each other and Alex ducks from a second clothesline and hits a standard DDT, taking Criss down to the ground. Alex goes for a quick cover, which is broken almost instantly as Criss kicks out and practically jumps back to his feet. Alex is also up to his feet properly. Criss kicks Alex in the gut and hits a snap suplex and goes for a cover of his own, which again is broken almost instantly.
Mark Followill: A nice, fast paced start from these guys, it’s competitive as well.
Back inside the ring, Alex and Criss are back to their feet. Criss throws a couple of right hand punches. The last is blocked by Alex, who then throws his own set of right hand punches, the last of which is blocked and reversed into an arm drag takedown by Criss Cassidy. He goes for a cover, only to get a two count. Both men get back up and Criss hits a DDT and yet another two count! Criss gets up, and Alex is still laid out on the mat. Criss lifts Alex up to his feet and hits a Russian leg sweep before going for a cover.
Mark Followill: ONE... TWO... Oh, a near fall there! Criss was very close to winning.
Jason Martel: C'mon, Alex!
Mark Followill: *sigh* And you complain about everyone else being biased.
Jason Martel: I wasn't being biased. I just know great talent when I see it.
Back inside of the ring, Alex is beginning to get to his feet and Criss is resting in the corner. Alex gets up to his feet groggily. Criss goes up behind Alex and hits a Triple German Suplex. Criss then signifies his finisher. He climbs up to the top rope and hits “The Nightmare”(shooting star press) and goes for an instantaneous cover. ONE... TWO... THREE! Referee Mike Croft signals for the bell as "The Second Coming" booms across the PA system.
Monica Deluca: And the winner of the match as a result of pinfall, Criss Cassidy!
Criss gets his arms raised by the referee and he begins to walk out backstage the crowd with a mixed reaction of boos and cheers.
Mark Followill: Well up next is the ladder match. Who will be the #1 contender to Omerta's Von Erich Memorial Title? We'll find out after this!
--COMMERCIAL--
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:05:02 GMT -6
Mark Followill: Well joining us in a bit to do guest commentary with us...
The lights cut out and everything goes quiet. The small SportsTron seems to begin to glow as images are being projected onto it and some old arcade style music begins to play. One that wouldn’t be far from an old run down funfair. The images seem to be dated images of an old amusement park in America. It is a non-descript one that could be easily recognized in multiple places. The screen seems to shake, and blacks out.[/color] Jason: What the hell is that?
Mark: It’s a funfair. I think I know that place.
Jason: How can you recognize it? There are no landmarks or anything.The screen kicks back into action again and now it’s on a merry go round, one that has seen many children riding it. The horses seem to be covered in blood and as the camera pans around, we see a man tied up to a horse, struggling to break free. He looks like the Former Captain Mallory.Distorted voice: They say for every evil a man commits he signs his own soul over to the devil piece by piece. For every blood spilt by your own hands, the devil slowly buys your soul. For every person you betray, you belittle, you pay off. No one can escape his grasp except to make a new bargain, one that would free one's soul from this downward spiral. I am the bone collector. I am the one man you all need to fear. SNW, you are in for a rough ride, for not one person can escape the devil's bargain and you all have sins to pay for. A sudden flash of images and a face appears:Distorted Voice: I am the harbinger of your destruction and the bringer of your downfall. The blood you have spilt will now be spilt by my hands to cleanse the arena of your filth. Am I a god fearing man? No, I’m just a normal who believes in spilling blood whose god is one of the mind and not of the physical world. Already you all feel my grasp on this federation and yet none of you know where my touch has been. The Demon and The Monster. Two people, one goal. We are coming and no amount of false courage will protect you. No one will be able to stop us. If you call yourselves hardcore know this and hear it well, you're first.The screen cuts out.Jason: that was the missing Captain!
Mark: Well that should solve the problem for the police. All they need to do now is go to that fun fair.
Jason: Do you know where it is?
Mark: Ain’t got a clue.
Jason: And who are those men?
Mark: That one's easy.
Jason: Oh and hows that?
Mark: He said nothing can stop the monster and the demon... so it’s Monster and Demon, how you like them apples?
Jason: Well aren't you ever the bright one!
Mark: OK, fans, stay right there. We promise that this time we'll bring you the ladder match pitting Cyanide against Alexander Draven to determine who will face Omerta for the Von Erich Memorial Title right after this.--COMMERCIAL--[/b]
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:06:30 GMT -6
"Omerta" by Lamb of God is playing throughout the gym of Bryan Adams High School as Omerta, his Von Erich Memorial Title on his shoulder, takes a seat and places his belt on the broadcast table, then puts on his headset.
Mark Followill: Welcome back to Onslaught, and we're joined by the first ever SNW Von Erich Memorial Champion, Omerta.
Jason Martel: First things first, Omerta. How does it feel to know that you are the luckiest damn wrestler in SNW, knowing full well that Gordon Heath practically handed you the Von Erich belt?
Omerta: Jason, the stipulation stated that the last two men standing in the ring would go on to this ladder match. However, it stated nothing about two men being eliminated at the same time and one man being left in the ring.
Camera shot switches to inside the ring, focusing on ring announcer Monica Deluca.
Monica Deluca: The following is a ladder match, where the first man to climb the ladder and grab the briefcase will become the #1 contender for the Von Erich Memorial Title.
"Cyanide" by Metallica booms over the PA as the gym is now bathed in green lighting. Smoke blows in front of the entrance curtain and Cyanide appears to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He touches his throat and blows green mist into the air, then walks down to the ring.
Monica Deluca: First, from San Jose, CA and weighing in at 225 pounds, Cyanide!
Cyanide walks up to the broadcast booth, and motions at the Von Erich belt, then makes a gesture around his waist that the belt will be his.
Omerta: Don't get ahead of yourself. You still have a ladder match to win.
"Cyanide" by Metallica dies down, then "Psychosocial" by Slipknot booms throughout the arena.
Mark Followill: Wait a second, that's "Psychosocial" by Slipknot, not "Your Disease" by Saliva.
Nothing happens until the vocals kick in, and Dark Sun appears from behind the curtain to a big pop, although there are a few fans booing him.
Jason Martel: Now wait just a second! Cyanide signed on to face Alexander Draven, not Dark Sun!
Omerta: Well they are the same man.
Mark Followill: But don't tell Alex, or Mr. Sun, or whatever he wants to call himself, that.
Dark Sun walks down to the ring. He steps over the ropes to enter the ring and raises his arms into the air, then does a cutthroat motion. As the bell sounds the two men walk toward each other. Dark Sun stares down Cyanide, but Cyanide just looks right back up at him. The both go in to lock up, but Sun quickly powers Cyanide back and down. He gets up quickly and charges back into the lockup and again is hurled back and away. Dark Sun starts to move in as Cyanide gets up, but as he's about to strike, Cyanide bounces up and goes for a quick dropkick to the knee. Sun goes down to one knee and Cyanide runs off the ropes and blasts him in the head with a knee taking the big man down. He doesn't stay down for long, though and Cyanide is already trying to line up his next shot. Sun gets to a knee and Cyanide runs and steps up on that knee looking to deliver a shining wizard, but Sun grabs him by the throat and comes up and slams him down. Dark Sun gets up and tries to collect himself for a moment before picking up Cyanide and sending him hard into the turnbuckle. Cyanide grabs his back in agony, but is then smashed by a huge clothesline in the corner. He crumples to the mat.
Mark Followill: Dark Sun establishing the power game early in the match up.
Dark Sun gets out of the ring and makes his way to the ladder. He grabs the ladder, closes it and slides it into the ring. Cyanide is still trying to recover in the corner as Sun re-enters the ring. He grabs Cyanide and picks him up. Sun sets up for a suplex onto the ladder, but Cyanide blocks the attempt and punches Sun in the side. Sun tries again for a suplex and powers Cyanide up, but he kicks him feet and falls down again. Sun lets go and drops him with a clothesline instead. Sun grabs the ladder and begins to try and set it up, but Cyanide is up and dropkicks the ladder into Sun's face. Both men are down and slowly trying to recover. Cyanide gets to his feet first and Sun reaches his and runs toward Cyanide, but he arm drags him over and then quickly locks in a figure four neck lock to try and catch some air. Cyanide applies some pressure, but Sun is starting to power his way out of the hold. He flings one leg off his neck and over his head. Cyanide rolls and gets up quickly and waits on Sun. He gets up and walks into a northern lights suplex. Cyanide gets up and goes for the ladder, and starts to set it up, when he sees Sun coming after him again. Cyanide tries to use the ladder but Sun puts up a big boot and kicks the ladder into his face. The ladder drops and Cyanide drops and goes out of the ring and Sun follows to inflict some more punishment. Sun grabs Cyanide and slams his head into the announce table making the announcers jump back. Omerta just sits there calmly and keeps watching. Sun grabs Cyanide again, but he is then ran back first into the table this time. He falls to the ground, and Cyanide starts to mouth off at Omerta.
Mark Followill: Whoa, stay cool, Omerta.
Jason Martel: Punch his lights out!
Omerta gets up and starts to exchange words as well as the crowd comes to their feet, cheering Omerta on. Cyanide backs off and then kicks Sun while he's down on the ground. Omerta goes to sit back down when out of nowhere Cyanide comes back and sprays the green mist right into his eyes. He quickly gets up and starts rubbing at his eyes frantically as the ref calls for some medics to come out and look at him.
Mark Followill: My god! Omerta just got sprayed in th eyes with that green mist from Cyanide!
Jason Martel: The "I's" have it! HAHAHAHA!
Mark Followill: Oh stop it!
Meanwhile, Cyanide has set up a chair and waits for Sun to get up. As Sun staggers to his feet, Cyanide runs and jumps off the chair and hits a hurricanrana. Cyanide then picks up the chair and waits on Sun again. Dark Sun again gets up, but Omerta blindly starts walking out as well, Cyanide goes to hit Sun with the chair, but he ducks and the chair goes right into Omerta's head laying him out. Sun grabs Cyanide and lifts him up and then drops him throat first onto the edge of the mat. Sun gets into the ring and grabs the ladder and sets it up. Cyanide starts to dig under the ring and pulls out another ladder.
Jason Martel: There are many unsolved mysteries in the world of professional wrestling, such as why the referees are never consistent in allowing tags in tag matches, and why there's always a second ladder under the ring.
Mark Followill: Let's get Inspector Gadget on the case.
He throws it in and rolls in, and then sets it up on the other ladder while Sun climbs. Sun reaches the top of the ladder and starts to grab for the briefcase, but Cyanide measures it and runs up the second ladder and then nails a shining wizard onto Sun. They both fall down to the mat below. Cyanide doesn't appear to be hurt but Sun is down and appears to be out of it. Cyanide gets up and starts to climb the ladder for the briefcase, he gets half way up before Sun begins to stir on the ground. Cyanide gets to the top, but sees Sun on his feet. He jumps off at Sun, but Sun catches him and drives him down hard with a spine buster. Sun is slow to get up and he wants to go for the briefcase again. He begins to climb the ladder. Cyanide starts to get up very slowly and cautiously like he's planning something. Sun again reaches the top of the ladder and grabs at the briefcase. Cyanide gets up and runs to the ropes, he comes off and runs up the ladder again. Sun sees it coming this time though and catches and hits a monstrous Deadly Sun (Black Hole Slam) and both men hit down hard as does the ladder. Cyanide convulses a few times.
Mark Followill: Both men are down and out as this ladder match is taking it's toll on them.
Down on the floor the medics are still looking at Omerta who has just woken up. He becomes enraged and flings a medic off of him, before slowly getting up and staggering for a few steps. Back in the ring, Dark Sun has made it up to his feet and Cyanide has made it to a knee. Sun grabs Cyanide around the throat and gives him a huge chokeslam. Sun picks up one of the ladders and sets it up in the middle of the ring. He starts to climb up. Cyanide is still somewhat out of it. But now Omerta is starting to climb into the ring, and its obvious that he's still having trouble seeing. Enraged he yells out to Cyanide, but Cyanide tries to trick him by yelling back that he's on the ladder. Omerta goes to the ladder and pushes it over, knocking Dark Sun off and catching his throat on the top rope. Cyanide gets up and waits for Omerta to turn around, when he does, Cyanide grabs him by the arms and tucks them and his head under his own arm, he struggles to lift the big man up but does and crashes him down with the Last Breath. With both of the big men on the ground, Cyanide grabs a ladder and sets it up. He then starts to climb the ladder, he reaches the top and grabs for the briefcase and takes it down, and drops down from the ladder as the bell sounds and "Cyanide" by Metallica booms over the PA.
Monica Deluca: Your winner and #1 contender, Cyanide!
Mark Followill: Cyanide has won the ladder match, but you've gotta think that Dark Sun will still want to stake his claim for the gold.
Jason Martel: Yeah, especially since that big dumb oaf Omerta got stumbled around and cost him the match!
Mark Followill: Well up next is the Divas Match pitting Enigmah against Adriana Samu!
--COMMERCIAL--
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:07:17 GMT -6
"The Hand That Feeds" starts to play, and Enigmah makes her way out on to the aisle. She stands at the top of the aisle with one hand on her hip, and she plays to the fans with her other hand.
Monica Deluca: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is a divas match scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, from Lancashire, England and weighing 140 pounds, Enigmah!
The fans cheer loudly as Enigmah makes her way down the aisle, slapping hands with a few of the fans. She then slides into the ring and plays to the fans some more while awaiting for her opponent as "The Hand That Feeds" dies down. "I Love Myself Today" hits and "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu comes out from behind the curtain. She rocks out with the fans to her music for a few seconds before coming down the aisle with much energy.
Monica Deluca: And her opponent, from Alberta, Canada and weighing 130 pounds, "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Sumu!
Adriana Samu slaps hands and gives autographs on her way down. She poses on the top turnbuckle and flips off to the mat before the bell rings.
Jason M: These ladies have been waiting to prove themselves against each other and now they are, ha-ha! Enjoy the show folks, I know I will!
The two lock up and Enigmah uses her weight to her advantage and forces Adriana back in to the ropes. On the rebound, Adriana runs at her to clothesline Enigmah, but she moves to one side and turns around before sending Adriana to the canvas with a DDT.
Mark F: What amazing moves there by Enigmah!
Jason M: Indeed.
She drags Adriana to her feet before setting her up for a vertical suplex, bringing her to the canvas. She doesn't release her grip as Enigmah gets to her feet and does it again. She doesn't let loose of her grip as she sets her up for one last vertical suplex. She then runs to the nearest corner and stands up to preform a swantom bomb, but thinks better of it and waits for Adriana to get to get to her feet. Samu's a little groggy as she gets up. Enigmah then preforms a superb hurricanrana, then goes for a pin. ONE... TWO... Adriana gets a shoulder up and Enigmah shakes her head in disbelief.
Mark F: So close yet so far.
Jason M: Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.
The two lock up again, but this time Adriana gets the upper hand and sends a knee to the midsection of Enigmah a few times before setting her up for a Twist of Fate. She then sends her boot to Enigmah's gut a few times before pulling her back to her feet. Enigmah sends a back hand to the face of Adriana which shocks her. Enigmah then follows up with a few back hand chops to the chest of Adriana. Enigmah goes to Adriana, who grabs her foot so Enigmah brings her free foot up and sends a kick to the side of her head. Enigmah then sends her heel to the back of Adriana's knee a couple of times before hitting her with a few fury punches.
Jason M: I am guessing Adriana didn't plan for this to happen, Enigmah is just destroying her.
Mark F: It isn't over yet my friend.
Jason M: I'm not your friend!
Enigmah nails Adriana with a sidewalk slam. Enigmah then jumps on a turnbuckle and soars through the air with a Swanton Bomb, but Adriana moves just in time and Enigmah meets the canvas and rolls around in pain. Both women lay on the mat as the ref starts to count ONE... TWO... THREE... Adriana slowly starts to get up. FOUR... FIVE... Enigmah starts to get to her feet also, and now the two women are up. The two women lock up, and Adriana with a go-behind, followed by a Greco Roman takedown.
Mark F: Adriana Samu now goes for a quick cover. ONE... TWO... And Enigmah kicks out just in time.
Enigmah's back up, but Adriana knocks her right back down with a vicious roundhouse kick, causing the crowd to go "OOOOOOHHH!" Adriana runs towards the ropes, springboards off the middle rope and nails a picture perfect lionsault onto Enigmah. ONE... TWO... Enigmah gets the shoulder up. Adriana picks Enigmah up, but Enigmah rolls her up in a small package. ONE... TWO... Adriana kicks out. Enigmah goes for a clothesline, but Adriana ducks and goes behind Enigmah, underhooking her arms and slamming her down with a tiger suplex pin. ONE... TWO... Enigmah barely kicks out.
Mark F: Adriana Samu so close to victory on several occasions.
Jason M: But Enigmah keeps fighting back.
Both women are back up. They circle each other for a few seconds before Enigmah runs at her and spears Adriana in to the corner. She then grabs hold of Adriana by the hair and whispers something in her ear before sticking her head between two ropes and chocking her with it. The ref comes over but Enigmah refuses to stop. The ref pulls Enigmah off and threatens to DQ her, so Enigmah shakes her head and waits for her to get back to her feet, she then kicks her in the stomach before setting her up for the Niggy Stunner.
Mark F: Oh my god, go for the pin Enigmah!
Enigmah smiles as she looks down at Adriana, she mouths “How do those lights look from down there?” Adriana gets to her knees Enigmah backs up some and runs at Adriana sending a drop kick to her face knocking her out. Enigmah decides to end Adrian's suffering and goes for the pin. ONE...TWO...THREE!
Mark F: She did it, she got the pin!
Monica Deluca: The winner of this match, Enigmah!
"The Hand That Feeds" starts to play as the ref holds Enigmah's hand up in victory. Enigmah looks down the aisle as an official can be seen walking to the ring. He climbs in and whispers something in Enigmah's ear. She looks at him in disbelief as she falls to her knees and covers her face.
Jason M: She just got bad news by the looks of it!
Mark F: Oh dear, I hope it isn't anything to bad.
--COMMERCIAL--
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:10:47 GMT -6
"Chicken Huntin" blasts over the PA as the Eddy and Twitch, the Alley Ratz, come out to a nice pop from the crowd.
Monica Deluca: The following is a triple threat tag team match, one fall to a finish, to determine the #1 contenders to the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles. First, the team of Eddy and Twitch, the Alley Ratz!
Mark Followill: Well this match was made earlier in the night by SNW majority owner, Hellspawn.
Jason Martel: Abuse of power, that's all it is.
Mark Followill: How is it abuse of power?
Jason Martel: He didn't strip Wench and Gory of the belts and hand them over to the Sports Nutz.
Mark Followill: Oh please.
The Alley Ratz slap hands with the ringside fans, then roll into the ring and play to the crowd as "Chicken Huntin" dies down. "Always" blasts throughout the PA as the crowd comes alive. The camera pans all around, fixing onto another door that Syco Boy and Dave Mason, Xtreme Team, come from. They make their way through the cheering crowd.
Monica Deluca: Weighing in at a combined weight of 465 pounds, the team of Syco Boy and Dave Mason, Xtreme Team!
Jason Martel: OK, Xtreme Team, I can somewhat see why they'd be in line for contention to the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles. But the Alley Ratz? What have they done to get a chance at being #1 contenders to the tag straps?
Mark Followill: Take that up with Hellspawn. Although the last time you did that, Gory ended your wrestling career.
Jason Martel: You didn't just go there!
Xtreme Team hop over the security railing and roll into the ring as "Always" dies down. "Ecstasy of Gold" booms over the PA, and the crowd is booing at a deafening level as the Sports Nutz, accompanied by "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, appear in front of the curtain. Craig and George are both holding bags of peanuts, and throw the peanuts at the booing fans.
Monica Deluca: And weighing in at a combined weight of 549 pounds, accompanied to the ring by "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, the team of Craig "Senior" Mueller and George Dunpork, the Sports Nutz!
Jason Martel: Hey, wait a second!
Mark Followill: All of the Dark Ones have just jumped the Sports Nutz from behind!
Jason Martel: And now here come Matt Margera and Codi Shane to even the odds!
The Dark Ones and Sports Authority are all brawling on the outside. Eddy and Twitch decide to both run and jump onto the ropes, springboarding off and coming down on everybody with a tope to a big pop from the crowd. Dave Mason climbs to the top rope as everyone is trying to get up. He flies off the top, taking everyone down with a corkscrew shooting star press to a louder pop from the crowd.
Mark Followill: Mega Spot from Dave Mason!
Jason Martel: And now Syco Boy is climbing the top rope!
Syco comes flying off the top rope with a corkscrew high angle senton bomb onto everyone right when they get back up.
Mark Followill: Syco Bomb!
The crowd chants "HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T! HOLY SH*T!" Everyone struggles to get back to their feet, and a big group melee ensues as SNW officials run down to get everyone separated as the show fades to commercial.
--COMMERCIAL--
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:11:39 GMT -6
Adriana Samu, a bit dejected that she lost to Enigmah, is walking down the school hallway on her way to the locker rooms when she is stopped by Anthony Spiccoli and the Unholy Trinity. Sean O'Brien and the Williams Bros. clasp their hands, as if they're ready to pounce. However, Spiccoli instructs them to keep cool.
Adriana Samu: What do you want?
Anthony Spiccoli: Well we wanted to talk business with you. Now it's no secret that my boys don't like you, and you don't particularly care for them. However, it seems that since the Unholy Trinity came to Sports Nutz Wrestling, their wheels have been a bit off. I mean, Sean O'Brien had to wear a dress for God's sake!
Samu tries to keep herself from bursting into laughter, but doesn't do a very good job. The Williams Bros. snicker until Sean O'Brien sneers at them. Spiccoli looks over at the Williams Bros. with a look of annoyance on his face, then turns his attention back to Samu.
Anthony Spiccoli: Now tonight, even though we weren't booked, we came to the show to scout potential talent for our group. While you looked good, it looked like you could've used some guidance out in the ring tonight, and I can give you that guidance. You of all people should know of the great leadership skills that I possess. So what will it be?
Adriana Samu: *sighs* Thanks, but no thanks.
Samu tries to go her way, but Sean, Marcus and Mike all block her way. She says "Excuse me, guys" and tries to leave, but Sean forcefully grabs her by the arm, squeezing as hard as he can as Samu screams "Let me go!" DevilDog, Cerise Richardson, and Candy and Stank Lovve all walk up into the camera shot as Sean lets go of Samu. Stank puts his arm around Samu to make her feel safe.
Stank Lovve: Excuse me, but the lady said "Thanks, but no thanks."
The Tru Playas all glare at Anthony Spiccoli and the Unholy Trinity as they and Samu walk down the hall out of camera shot.
Anthony Spiccoli: Boys... it's time for Plan B.
Shot switches to show Andrew Smith walking down the hall, ready to compete.[/color]
Mark Followill: Ladies and gentlemen, there you see Andrew Smith on his way to compete in the Lucky 21 Match... Wait a second.
Hannah stops Smith. She stands in a seductive pose, wearing a black miniskirt and a white blouse, tied in a knot, and black stilettos. Andrew Smith is baffled.
Andrew Smith: What the hell do you want?
Hannah pushes him, and erotically puts her right index finger across his lips. As she talks she bats her eyes, and draws her finger towards his chest[/color]
Hannah: I just want to send my deepest sympathies.
Andrew Smith: What do you mean "deepest sympathies?''
Hannah smiles, chuckles and walks away. As she walks, Emo Kid charges up behind Smith with a lead pipe right to the back of the head. Andrew Smith falls, and hits his head on the hard floor. Emo Kid takes Andrew Smith's left leg, and smashes his left kneecap on the floor. Emo Kid flips Andrew Smith over, and gets in his face.[/color]
Emo Kid: I've been waiting too long for this.
Emo takes the lead pipe, and smashes Smith's kneecap with it. To put more salt on the wounds, Emo Kid slaps Andrew Smith in the face.[/color]
Emo Kid: I knew you were too stupid to ever find me and attack me, so I took advantage of the situation.
Andrew Smith spits in Emo's face. Emo slaps hims some more.[/color]
Emo Kid: Don't spit in my face, bitch! That's exactly what you are!
Emo Kid spits back and stomps on his kneecap.[/color]
Emo Kid: Good luck defending your Sauerkraut title, bitch!
Emo Kid and Hannah both laugh and walk away. Andrew Smith is in agonizing pain.
Mark Followill: Someone get there and help Andrew Smith!
Jason Martel: Haha! Looks like Smith was very unlucky tonight!
Mark Followill: Fans we'll be right back!
--COMMERCIAL--[/b]
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Post by Hollywood on Sept 21, 2008 22:12:19 GMT -6
Andrew Smith is being put onto a stretcher as he is still in agonizing pain from the attack that he suffered at the hands of Emo Kid.
Mark Followill: Well it's obvious that Andrew Smith won't make it to Stage 2 of the Seven Stages of Violence, and that's very unfortunate as now, even if he heals up in time for Stage 3, he won't be able to compete in the rest of the Seven Stages because you have to make it to each and every stage.
Jason Martel: That's right, Mark. I think Andrew Smith just learned a valuable lesson. Never turn your back to your enemies.
Mark Followill: He was jumped from behind!
Jason Martel: Oh please.
The camera shot switches back to inside the gym. "All Hope Is Gone" blasts over the PA. Dreadlock appears from behind the curtain to a few boos. He stops right in front of the entrance curtain, looks to his left, then to his right and raises his arms in the air as he continues his walk down to the ring. A masked man can be seen watching from beside the entrance, wearing a black trenchoat, black pants, and black boots. His mask is completely black, with only holes for his eyes, mouth and nose.
Mark Followill: Hey, who's that masked man watching from the entrance?
Jason Martel: How would I know?
Monica Deluca: The following is Stage 2 of the Seven Stages of Violence, the Lucky 21 Match. To eliminate your opponent, you must take a staple gun and staple dollar bills onto your opponent until the value of those bills reaches $21. Introducing first, weighing 300 pounds, Dreadlock!
Mark Followill: Dreadlock got off to a good start last Saturday night on Guys Night Out, then the wheels just came off as he was on the receiving end of a Lion's Heart on top of a cab!
Video footage from Guys Night Out is shown as we see Andy Lionheart nailing Dreadlock with the Lion's Heart on top of the cab outside the Curtain Club, then pinning him.
Jason Martel: And two weeks from now, October 4, SNW will be at the State Fair of Texas.
Mark Followill: That's right, and we just learned that Wench will be taking on Codi Shane in a Midway Street Fight when Guys Night Out invades the State Fair of Texas!
Dreadlock rolls under the bottom rope and waits at a corner for his opponents to arrive as "All Hope Is Gone" dies down. "Bleeding Mascara" blares over the PA as the crowd jumps to their feet and comes unglued as Andy Lionheart appears from behind the curtain. He looks around at the fans then runs down to the ring, sliding underneath the bottom rope and climbing a turnbuckle post and opening his arms out, performing the Randy Orton Pose.
Monica Deluca: And hailing from Kemi, Finland and weighing 210 pounds... Andy Lionheart!
Lionheart sneers over at Dreadlock. Dreadlock just stands there, staring a hole into Lionheart. The lights go out as the sound of a pulse beating is heard over the PA. The pulse flatlines, and "Careless Whisper" booms over the PA, causing the crowd to boo. The lights come back on, and the couple of Emo Kid and Hannah are standing out in front of the curtain. Emo and Hannah share a passionate kiss, then Hannah walks to the back as Emo makes his way to the ring amidst deafening boos and catcalls from the crowd.
Monica Deluca: And hailing from Bakersfield, CA and weighing 185 pounds, Emo Kid!
Jason Martel: Emo Kid is a genius, Mark.
Mark Followill: He's a coward is what he is.
Jason Martel: C'mon, that attack on Andrew Smith was a stroke of genius because now, Andrew Smith can't compete in the rest of the Seven Stages of Violence and now won't have to go after the SNW Texas Championship.
Emo Kid rolls into the ring as referee Rick Maynard calls for the bell. Dreadlock charges toward Andy Lionheart, but Lionheart leapfrogs over him. Dreadlock is still running and attempts a spear to Emo Kid, but Emo leapfrogs over him and Dreadlock smacks his shoulder into the ringpost, crying out in pain. Lionheart goes to the outside and grabs the staple gun off the timekeeper's table. Ringside fans are holding out dollar bills, and Lionheart grabs several $1 bills.
Jason Martel: What's he grabbing singles for? If he was smart, he'd get a $50 bill and eliminate Dreadlock right away.
Mark Followill: He is smart. He's trying to keep Dreadlock from making it to the next stage.
Inside the ring, Emo Kid is hitting Dreadlock with clubbing blows to his right shoulder, followed up by a single arm DDT. Lionheart rolls into the ring and counts the money. He gives $10 to Emo Kid, and keeps $11. Lionheart staples the first $1 to Dreadlock's shoulder, causing him to scream in pain as he rolls around on the mat. Lionheart tosses the staple gun over to Emo, who takes a $1 bill and staples it to Dreadlock's shoulder as well. The ref signals "2," signifying that $2 have been stapled to Dreadlock. Emo tosses the staple gun back to Lionheart, who staples a dollar bill to Dreadlock's chest. The staple gun is tossed back over to Emo, and he staples a dollar bill to Dreadlock's right leg. Dreadlock gets back to his knees and nails Emo with a low blow, causing him to drop the staple gun.
Mark Followill: Dreadlock reaching down for the staple gun, and Andy Lionheart just jumped out in front of him and nailed him with a Cutter from out of nowhere!
Lionheart picks up the staple gun. He staples another dollar bill to Dreadlock's stomach, upping the ante to $5. Lionheart then goes to the outside and grabs a $20 from a ringside fan and rolls back into the ring. He stands above Dreadlock and holds both the staple gun and $20 bill up in the air as the crowd cheers him on. Lionheart bends down and staples the $20 to Dreadlock's groin, causing Dreadlock to convulse about and scream out in pain as the ref signals to Monica Deluca that he's eliminated. Dreadlock rolls to the outside as EMTs come out to help him to the back.
Monica Deluca: Ladies and gentlemen, Dreadlock has been eliminated from the Lucky 21 Match. We're now down to Emo Kid and Andy Lionheart.
Jason Martel: Looks like there won't be any Dreadlock Juniors running about.
Mark Followill: That's a blessing.
Lionheart goes to pick up Emo Kid, but Emo rakes him in the eyes, followed by a High Angle Sidewalk Slam. Emo picks up the staple gun and grabs a $1 bill, stapling it to Lionheart's forehead, causing him to wince in pain as some blood trickles down Lionheart's face. Emo grabs another $1 bill and staples it to Lionheart's left arm, causing him to scream in pain. Emo then takes a $1 bill, but staples it to his left arm, and laughs maniacally.
Mark Followill: What was this you were saying about Emo Kid being a genius?
Jason Martel: I'll admit, that was stupid.
Mark Followill: That's because Emo Kid is an idiot.
Jason Martel: I'll tell him you said that.
Emo goes to pick Lionheart up, but Lionheart grabs Emo's left foot, lifts his leg up and takes him down with a Dragon Screw, followed by an elbow drop to Emo's left leg. Lionheart wraps his legs around Emo's left leg to work it over, then grabs the staple gun and staples a $1 to Emo's foot, causing him to grimace in pain.
Mark Followill: And now we're tied at $2 a piece.
Jason Martel: All either man has to do is find a $20 and the match would be over.
Emo Kid punches away at Andy Lionheart, freeing him from the leg lock. Lionheart reaches down for the staple gun, but Emo grabs Lionheart by the head and throws him down with a Mat Slam, with the back of Lionheart's head hitting the mat. Emo grabs the staple gun and a $1 bill, stapling it to the top of Lionheart's head.
Mark Followill: My god! The human skull was not meant to be stapled!
Jason Martel: Emo needs to find a bill that's a big denomination and end this match.
Emo goes to the outside and asks for some more money, but the fans refuse to give him any. He yells at them to give him some money, but they still refuse. Emo gives them the finger. He turns around, and Lionheart nails him with a baseball slide, knocking Emo Kid to the floor. Lionheart goes to the outside and hits a legdrop onto Emo Kid. Lionheart grabs the staple gun and asks for money, and the crowd obliges, handing him a variety of bills in various denominations. He takes a $5 bill and staples it Emo's forehead.
Mark Followill: And now Andy Lionheart jumps out to a nice lead, $7 to $3.
Jason Martel: Lionheart should be disqualified because these fans are biased against Emo Kid.
Lionheart goes to grab another bill, but Emo Kid kicks the back of Lionheart's leg, followed by a Russian leg sweep onto the floor. Emo grabs one of the bills, a $10 bill, then grabs the staple gun off the floor and staples the $10 bill to Lionheart's back, giving Emo a lead of $13 to $7. Emo picks Lionheart up and rolls him into the ring, then grabs several dollar bills to bring into the ring with him. Emo goes to staple Lionheart, but Lionheart takes Emo down with a drop toe hold. Lionheart picks Emo up and drops him down with a facebuster. Lionheart then picks up the staple gun and a $10 bill, stapling to the back of Emo's neck, giving Lionheart a $17 to $13 lead.
Mark Followill: Either man could win this match with just a single bill that has a sizeable denomination.
Jason Martel: If Emo Kid wins, it certainly won't be because of these blatantly biased fans.
Lionheart picks Emo up and DDTs him to the mat. Lionheart then goes and climbs to the top turnbuckle. Lionheart attempts a shooting star press, but Emo gets his knees up and Lionheart crashes his midsection onto Emo's knees. Lionheart clutches to his rib cage. Emo picks up the staple gun and finds a $5 bill, stapling it to Lionheart's chest.
Mark Followill: Emo Kid now has $18 stapled to Andy Lionheart. All he needs is a $5 bill to win the match.
Emo picks up a $5 bill, but instead of stapling it to Lionheart, he staples it on his own left arm, laughing maniacally as the ref calls for the bell.
Mark Followill: What an idiot! Emo Kid just beat himself!
Jason Martel: But from the looks of things, he'll make it to the next stage.
Monica Deluca: Your winner of the Lucky 21 Match, Andy Lionheart!
Mark Followill: Wait just a damn minute! Emo Kid just stapled a dollar bill to referee Rick Maynard's forehead! And Maynard is screaming in agonizing pain!
Jason Martel: It's about time that Rick Maynard learned not to be so biased.
The timekeeper incessantly rings the bell, but to no avail as Emo grabs a dollar bill and staples it to Lionheart's tongue.
Mark Followill: My God! Someone get out there and stop Emo Kid!
Jason Martel: Why don't you go out there and stop him!
Emo Kid grabs Lionheart by the head and punches away at him non-stop until SNW officials run down to get him off of Lionheart. Emo answers by kicking an official in the groin, and nailing another one with a DDT.
Mark Followill: Emo Kid is out of control! He'll definitely be fined, and could potentially be suspended, causing him to have to forfeit the Seven Stages of Violence because if he was suspended, he wouldn't make it to the next stage!
Jason Martel: OK, I'll admit, he needs to calm down a bit.
Emo Kid takes the staple gun and staples one of the officials, causing him to flail about and scream in pain. Emo finally puts his hands up and slowly walks out of the ring. Hannah comes down the aisle and meets up with Emo, the two of them sharing a passionate kiss. Shot switches to the backstage area, where we see someone dressed like a druid, hiding his face with a mask, beating up on Dreadlock.
Mark Followill: Hey, who's that beating up Dreadlock?!
Jason Martel: I don't know, but from the looks of this beating, Dreadlock might not make it to Guys Night Out on October 4 for the Taipei Deathmatch.
The man dressed like a druid stops as the masked man from earlier walks in. The two look at each other, then walk off as the camera pans down on Dreadlock, who's laid out, unconscious, as the show goes off the air.
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