Saturday Night Onslaught: 4/18/09

[Hollywood]

Shot opens to an all new montage of SNW highlights, set to the tune of "Psycho Circus" by KISS. The montage includes Andy Lionheart and Emo Kid crashing through the Devil's Bunk Beds, the Destruction Crew destroying Mike LaFontaine, Sean O'Brien nailing Extrano with a Flatliner, Twitch smashing George Dunpork over the head with a Dunpork bobblehead doll, Johnny Moxie nailing Omerta with the New York State of Mind, Cyanide holding up the Von Erich Memorial Title at WrestleStock, and ending with Soul Reaper holding up the SNW Texas Championship at WrestleStock.



LIVE FROM THE GORDIETORIUM!

DOWNTOWN FORT WORTH, TX!

Shot opens up inside the Gordietorium as "Ecstasy Of Gold" plays over the PA as Gordon Heath stands in the ring amid tremendously loud boos from the sold out crowd of 3,524.

MARK BISHOP
Welcome to Saturday Night Onslaught! I'm Mark Bishop, filling in for Mark Followill, who is in San Antonio for Game 1 of the first round NBA Playoff match-up pitting the Dallas Mavericks against the San Antonio Spurs.

JASON MARTEL
What a breath of fresh air to not have to listen to Fozzywill. And what better way to kick off Saturday Night Onslaught then with "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath!

GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, I have a major announcement concerning 4 Up on June 6, so I need your undivided attention!

The crowd boos Gordie even louder. Rick the WWE Sign Guy is taunting Gordie, holding up a blow-up doll. Gordie is angry beyond belief.

GORDIE
You think that's funny?! Well how about I show you funny!

Gordie jumps out of the ring, storms over to Rick, turns his red baseball cap around and pulls it down over his head, then storms back into the ring.

ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE! ASSHOLE!

GORDIE
Don't be talking about Soul Reaper behind his back. Now, speaking of Soul Reaper, I have decided that he will be defending his Texas Championship at 4 Up in Austin, Texas on June 6. And I couldn't find a more worthy contender than the Wrestler Of The Year for 2008, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

Upon hearing Kid Thunder's name, the crowd boos louder than ever.

GORDIE
Also at 4 Up, Cyanide will defend his Von Erich Memorial Title against both Super Vader and Nick Scott in a No Disqualification Three Way Dance, where two competitors must be pinned or made to submit in order for the match to end. And while I'm on the subject of 4 Up... Stacey Allen and Venom both no-showed tonight.

The crowd boos incessantly.

GORDIE
Due to their not showing up, there obviously won't be a qualifying match. So the spot in 4 Up that was going to be earned will be given to a competitor that I have deemed worthy of the spot. That man is the "Messiah of Wrestling..." the "Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

MARK BISHOP
James Jackson has only had one match here in SNW!

JASON MARTEL
But he's both the Messiah of Wrestling and the Modern Day Hero!

The crowd is very irate now at the mention of James Jackson automatically getting a spot in 4 Up.

GORDIE
And tonight, I will be watching all of the matches very closely to see who will earn spots into 4 Up. Those who I deem worthy will automatically get a spot, while others may or may not get a chance to qualify. Oh, and the triple threat tag match tonight will receive a shot at the Texas Tag Team Titles next Saturday night on Guys Night Out. Thank you, and enjoy the show!

"Ecstasy Of Gold" blares over the PA as Gordie exits the ring amid insults and catcalls from the crowd.

JASON MARTEL
"The Excellent Gordie" wasted no time in shaking things up here tonight!

MARK BISHOP
A Texas Title match and Von Erich Memorial Title match at 4 Up, and a Texas Tag Title match next week on Guys Night Out! It doesn't get bigger than that!

"Ecstasy Of Gold" dies down as Gordie stops in front of the entranceway. He turns around to face the audience.

GORDIE
I almost forgot! I gave Undine an ultimatum to find some real ring gear instead of that bikini garb that she wrestles in because it could fall off and get us in trouble in the FCC. And it's a miracle we dodged a bullet with her prancing around butt naked last week on Guys Night Out. She came to the building this evening, not even wearing her bikini! She had nothing on, so I have suspended her indefinitely! I then asked SNW Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller what to do about the 10 man tag, and he's ruled that the 10 man tag match tonight will now be a 5-on-4 match! Thank you!

The crowd boos Gordie out of the building as he walks to the back.

MARK BISHOP
He just makes up the rules as he goes along!

JASON MARTEL
Gordie is showing that he's large and in charge!

LOBSTER COLA! THE TASTE OF LOBSTER AND SODA ALL MIXED UP IN A CAN! LOBSTER COLA!

[Hollywood]

"Kashmir" booms over the PA, and the crowd erupts with loud boos as James Jackson and Enigmah appear from behind the curtain as smoke slowly fills the entranceway.

MARK BISHOP
Well here comes one of the first wrestlers to be handed a spot in 4 Up by Gordon Heath.

JASON MARTEL
He wasn't just handed the spot.

MARK BISHOP
He was too!

JASON MARTEL
No, Gordie felt that James had earned it with his global reputation.

MONICA DELUCA
The following is a 5-on-4 Handicap Match. First, accompanied to the ring by Enigmah, from Los Angeles, California and weighing 220 lbs, the "Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

The crowd continues to boo as James and Enigmah walk down to the ring. They stop right before the ring, and James looks down and points to the sky, then proceeds to jump onto the ring apron and hold the ropes open for Enigmah as she enters the ring while "Kashmir" dies down. "Crack A Bottle" booms over the PA, and the crowd boos as Vin Sin, decked out in a black robe(a la the robe Hurricane Helms used to wear) and black headpiece(a la the headpiece Hurricane Helms used to wear) makes his way to the ring as his piercing eyes focus in on the ring as Myke Rhines accompanies him to the ring. Myke doesn't seem focused as he looks out and sees Enigmah. Myke is deterred, however, as James Jackson stares him down.

MONICA DELUCA
His partner, accompanied to the ring by Myke Rhines, hailing from Fort Worth, Texas and weighing 215 lbs, Vin Sin!

JASON MARTEL
What fairweather fans we have here in Fort Worth! They boo their hometown hero!

MARK BISHOP
He sure doesn't act like a hero.

"Crack A Bottle" dies down as Vin Sin enters the ring and takes off his entrance gear. "Superhero" booms over the PA, and the crowd boos as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, decked out in his pink vest with "KT" written in black on the back and pink headband, walks down to the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
Their parnter, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and weighing 220 lbs, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

JASON MARTEL
There he is! The Wrestler Of The Year and #1 contender for the SNW Texas Championship at 4 Up!

MARK BISHOP
This should be a virtual all star team, but with all the egos this team may implode before the match starts.

JASON MARTEL
They seem to be getting along right now.

MARK BISHOP
But they're not acknowledging each other.

JASON MARTEL
That doesn't mean anything.

"Superhero" dies down as Kid Thunder enters the ring and takes off his entrance gear. "Sinner" booms over the PA as the lights go out, and while most of the crowd boos, there are cheers mixed in while C-Pac and Doomsday walk out from behind the curtain as smoke fills the entranceway, and a spotlight shines on Kobra's Law.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents, at a combined weight of 622 lbs, the team of C-Pac and Doomsday, Kobra's Law!

MARK BISHOP
For those of you who've been watching SNW.com, C-Pac seemed to have a hard time getting something to eat or drink.

JASON MARTEL
For a moment, I thought they were at Denny's because it's clear that they refused to serve C-Pac because he's bla...

MARK BISHOP
Whoa! OK!

The lights come back on as "Sinner" dies down and Kobra's Law enters the ring. Daughtry's version of "Wanted: Dead Or Alive" hits the PA system, and the crowd comes alive as Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, Johnny Moxie and Omerta all walk out to the ring together, putting their differences aside.

MARK BISHOP
Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, and even Johnny Moxie and Omerta coming out to the ring together!

JASON MARTEL
That's all well and good, but let's see what happens when the bell rings.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents, the team of Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, Johnny Moxie and Omerta!

CHRIS ANGEL, JACK CLINTON, JOHNNY MOXIE and OMERTA
vs
KOBRA'S LAW, KID THUNDER, JAMES JACKSON and VIN SIN

Angel, Clinton, Moxie and Omerta all ran into the ring and cleaned house with Kobra's Law, Kid Thunder, James Jackson and Vin Sin. Kobra's Law, Kid Thunder, James Jackson and Vin Sin all tried to regroup outside the ring. Kid Thunder tried to proclaim himself the captain and tell his teammates what to do, only for his teammates to blow him off as Johnny Moxie grabbed him by the hair and attempted to bring him back into the ring. But Kid Thunder turned the tide to favor his team as he brought Moxie down throat-first across the ropes.

Kid Thunder worked Moxie over until Moxie caught him with a Flatliner. Kid Thunder tagged in James Jackson while Moxie tagged in Omerta. Omerta nailed Jackson with a big boot and went to work on Jackson. But Omerta made a big mistake when he whipped Jackson into the ropes and ducked down for an overhead back body drop. Jackson saw Omerta telegraph the move, and nailed Omerta in the side of the head with a vicious Yakuza Kick. Jackson went for a cover, but only got a two count. Out of the corner of his eye, Jackson noticed Myke Rhines trying to chat it up with Enigmah, who was having none of it. Jackson tagged in Vin Sin by slapping him in the face, then went outside to confront Rhines, who began to back off. Vin Sin, distracted as he was yelling at Jackson, got rolled up by Omerta, but only for a two count. Omerta caught Vin Sin with a belly to belly supelx and was able to get the tag in to Jack Clinton. Clinton worked Sin over until Sin caught him with an Enziguri. Sin proceeded to work over Clinton, then made a tag to C-Pac. C-Pac ran in for an elbow drop, but Clinton rolled out of the way and tagged in Chris Angel to a big pop.

Angel cleaned house, nailing C-Pac with a succession of running clotheslines. Doomsday ran in and nailed Angel with a clothesline, bringing Clinton into the ring. Before you know it, the ring was full with all nine men in the ring at once. Jackson knocked Moxie out with the Jackson Driver and tried to go for a pin, but referee Danny Travers told him that neither he nor Moxie were the legal men. Omerta knocked Vin Sin out with the Sacrament, then went after Kid Thunder. But Thunder, realizing that his Texas Title match wasn't until June 6 at 4 Up, high-tailed it out of the ring and ran to the back to a loud chorus of boos. Omerta turned around and was nailed with an STO from Jackson. But then Clinton took Jackson out with a big boot. Doomsday and C-Pac went to work on Clinton, but Chris Angel evened the odds, and he and Clinton rammed C-Pac and Doomsday's heads together with a double noggin knocker, sending Doomsday to the outside. With all of his strength, Angel picked C-Pac up and floored with The Fallen for the three count as the crowd went crazy.

MONICA DELUCA
Here are your winners, the team of Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, Johnny Moxie and Omerta!

JASON MARTEL
I could've sworn James Jackson was the legal man!

MARK BISHOP
Aren't you going to throw Alex Daniels under the bus for the way he ran away from Omerta?!

JASON MARTEL
No, because Alex was saving himself for the big title match at 4 Up. Very smart!

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[Hollywood]

Wench is in the Dark One's locker room, re-watching the promo Reaper and his cousin, Cyanide, put out and seemed to be thinking about something. Gory steps into the scene and shoves the monitor over. When it hits the floor, sparks fly everywhere.

[/color]

WENCH
Hey I was watching that!

Gory got in her face.

GORY
You need to focus on our match later instead of what these two clowns have to say! And speaking of focusing, you can go out there and make a fool of yourself on commentary during the triple threat tag match, but I'm going to get ready for the match.

Gory stormed out of the room and Wench sighed and gazed down at the shattered monitor on the floor. Shot switches to ringside as "Bleeding Mascara" booms over the PA. Andy Lionheart appears from behind the curtain to a decent pop.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
Well that was no way for Goryokaku to treat his fellow Texas Tag Team Champion.

JASON MARTEL
Why not? She's more worried about watching some goof's stupid interview from earlier in the week than she is about getting ready to beat said goof.

Andy Lionheart is making his way to the ring when out of nowhere, Emo Kid runs up and floors him with a clothesline from behind to a mixed reaction. Monica Deluca immediately gets out of the ring as Emo Kid beats Andy Lionheart down, bashing his head into the security railing and suplexing him on the floor.

MARK BISHOP
The match hasn't even started yet, and Emo Kid is trying to put Andy Lionheart away already!

JASON MARTEL
What brilliant strategy on the part of Emo Kid!

MARK BISHOP
Wait just a second... Emo Kid has taken out a set of light tubes from under the ring! Remember, this is hardcore rules for Andy Lionheart only!

JASON MARTEL
But also remember that the bell hasn't rung yet!

MARK BISHOP
That's right, it hasn't! So this is all legal right now!

JASON MARTEL
I'm telling you, Emo Kid is a genius!

Emo Kid bashes the first light tube over Andy Lionheart's head, busting him wide open as the crowd goes berserk. Emo bashes the rest of the light tubes over Lionheart's back, then finally rolls him into the ring. The bell finally sounds as Emo slides into the ring.

EMO KID vs ANDY LIONHEART

Lionheart didn't have much of a chance to get any offense going as Emo Kid stomped away at him, then picked him up and slammed him down hard with a High Angle Sidewalk Slam. Emo then went to the top turnbuckle as fans were actually cheering him, though there were still people booing him, and he came flying off the top turnbuckle, nailing Lionheart with the Slit Wrist Theory. Emo then pinned Lionheart for the easy three count as "Careless Whisper" by Ten Masked Men boomed over the PA to a mixed reaction from the audience.

MONICA DELUCA
Your winner of the match, Emo Kid!

MARK BISHOP
Emo Kid outsmarts Azrael, and now gets to spend an hour with his love interest, Hannah.

JASON MARTEL
And lord knows if we'll ever see Andy Lionheart wrestle again after getting wasted by Emo Kid for a second time.

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[Hollywood]

The camera cuts to backstage reporter Brenda Price, microphone in hand as she is prepared to interview Myke Rhines and Vin Sin, who is sweating and faintly short of breath due to the nine man war he just fought in.

BRENDA PRICE
Myke, as the manager of one of SNW's newest stars, Vin Sin, how could you possibly justify what you did at GNO by trying to make overtures to Enigmah?

MYKE RHINES
Well, she was a female, or somesuch. She also was quite ample in the chestal area, and I figured that's all I needed for an entrance code.

BRENDA PRICE
That's just perverted! Vin, how do you feel about Rhines' actions?

VIN SIN
How do I feel? HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?! The person that is supposed to be guiding me and standing by me as I dominate and achieve my dreams in SNW is too busy trying to motorboat some cheap slut! How long do you really think you can keep this up without getting another lawsuit old man?

MYKE RHINES
Now look, Vin, firstly that lawsuit never went to court because that woman unfortunately... disappeared, and secondly you better listen to me boy...

VIN SIN
No, you listen to me! You better get your act together, and start assisting me instead of embarrassing me. Otherwise you will end up in the same boat as Greggo! While he was chasing white powder you've been chasing white women. I don't need this right now. I just went through an extreme battle. Get out of my way you harlequin!

Vin Sin hurriedly rushes past Brenda, obviously displeased with what has just transpired. Rhines looks over Brenda with a slight pelvic thrust, then follows after Vin at an overly slow pace that indicates no concern at all. Shot switches outside the Bianchi Twins locker room, as Myah and Emilia Bianchi exit their locker room and begin to walk their way down the hall. However, they get stopped by Craig "Senior" Mueller.

MYAH BIANCHI
Excuse us?

EMILIA BIANCHI
Yeah, it's our first match, with a shot at the Texas Tag Titles at stake.

CRAIG MUELLER
Well, that's what I came to talk to you two girls about.

MYAH BIANCHI
Oh, you're going to suspend us for turning you and Fatpork down for a dinner date?

The Bianchi Twins giggle like little school girls, but Craig just stares them down.

CRAIG MUELLER
You two read my mind. You caused George to break down and cry, and caused me to eat bacon, fried eggs and hash browns for breakfast this morning. So I have no choice but to indefinitely suspend you two airheads.

Shock overcomes the faces of the Bianchi Twins as Craig "Senior" Mueller walks down the hallway. Shot switches to ringside as "My Time" is fading out over the PA and Wench takes her seat at the commentary table.

[/color]

MARK BISHOP
We are joined at commentary by one half of the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions, Wench.

WENCH
I am out here to watch the match, not to talk to you.

JASON MARTEL
She told you.

MARK BISHOP
On that note, let's go to Monica for the introductions.[/color]

"TNT" by AC/DC hits as TNT walk out to a huge pop from the audience.[/color]

MONICA DELUCA
The following tag team match is set for one fall and is to determine the #1 contenders for the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles. Introducing first, the team of Mike Rutherford and Andrew Smith, TNT!

TNT continue walking to the ring, slapping hands with the fans. They climb into the ring and pose for the fans as "TNT" dies down. "Chicken Huntin" hits as The Alley Ratz walk out to cheers from the crowd as well.

MONICA DELUCA
And their opponents, Twitch and Eddy, the Alley Ratz!

The Alley Ratz slap fans hands and slide into the ring. They stare at TNT as the ref calls for the bell.

TNT vs ALLEY RATZ

Twitch and Mike started the match by locking up and reversing each other's attempts at getting the advantage. The fans cheered, appreciating the moves by the wrestlers. Twitch got the early advantage for the Alley Ratz. Twitch and Eddy kept Mike away from his partner by using their quickness to keep Mike off guard. The Alley Ratz went for pins but were broken up by Andrew Smith.

Mike was finally able to make the much needed tag to Andrew, who came in and cleared the ring. With everybody on the outside, Andrew launched himself over the top rope, taking out the Alley Ratz. TNT kept the match in their favor, hitting double team move after double team move on Eddy but couldn't secure a pinfall. The match continued back and forth for fifteen minutes before TNT was able to catch Twitch with the Steel Attack for the win.[/color]

MONICA DELUCA
Here are your winners and #1 contenders for the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles, TNT!

WENCH
Looks like me and Gory get to hurt these two next.

MARK BISHOP
Well it will be a good match when it does happen down the line.

JASON MARTEL
There is no way they are going to beat the champs.

WENCH
Don't be a kiss ass, Jason.

MARK BISHOP
And she just told you.

Mike Rutherford and Andrew Smith stare at Wench at the announce table as she holds her title in the air.[/color]

CHORK! A LITTLE BIT CHICKEN, A LITTLE BIT PORK! CHORK![/center]

[Hollywood]

Shot opens inside James Jackson and Enigmah's locker room. Enigmah walks out of the bathroom dressed with only a pink towel wrapped around her, with her hair still wet as she blows a kiss toward the bathroom.

ENIGMAH
Enjoy the rest of your shower, James.

Enigmah goes to her luggage, but sees that her clothes are nowhere to be found. A knock is heard at the door, and Enigmah shouts "Be right there!" as she heads to the door. She opens it up, and at the door is Omerta, holding her clothes.

ENIGMAH
Give 'em back, wanker!

Omerta takes off running, and Enigmah, still in only her towel, chases after him. The camera shows her running down the hallway when out of nowhere, Rick Roll runs by and grabs Enigmah's towel, yanking it off as a big black 'X' that says "CENSORED!" in white letters flashes over the screen, keeping viewers from being able to see the... um... good parts. She screams as she puts her hands over her boobs and front bottom area, turns around and runs to her locker room. Shot pans over to Rick Roll, twirling Enigmah's towel around, and Omerta, tossing Enigmah's clothes about.

RICK ROLL
See, I wouldn't minded her rejecting me if she had just let me see her wearing her birthday suit just once. Oh well, I'm happy now.

Gordon Heath storms into the camera shot, his jaw wide open in shock at what he's seen, then turns his attention the laughing pair of Omerta and Rick Roll.

GORDIE
Everyone thinks they're a jokester tonight, huh? Well here's a joke for the two of you perverts! You two are suspended and will NOT be taking part in 4 Up! Ha!

Gordie storms off as Omerta and Rick Roll's collective jaws drop in shock of being suspended. Shot switches to ringside, where Jason Martel is laughing his ass off, and Mark Bishop looks peeved.

MARK BISHOP
Good gravy! What's next? Gordie breaches Andrew Smith's contract and puts him in a light tube deathmatch?!

JASON MARTEL
Hey, that's not such a bad idea.

Mark Bishop shakes his head and rolls his eyes, moving on to the next subject.

MARK BISHOP
Be that as it may, the next match stems from the attack on Andriana Samu at WrestleStock.

JASON MARTEL
Well Viper is sure to be looking for revenge tonight. But he needs to stay focused as a spot in 4 Up is on the line tonight.

The lights in the arena go out as "Sinner" hits. A green light shines out from the entranceway and Viper, accompanied by a somewhat limping Adriana Samu, makes his way to the ring to a mixed reaction.

MONICA DELUCA
The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for a spot in 4 Up. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Adriana Samu, from Fayetteville, North Carolina and weighing 324 lbs, "The Ultimate SINner" Viper!

Viper walks down to the ring with Samu. He gets up on the apron and steps over the top rope and stands in the middle of the ring with his hands crossed in an 'X' over his head as "Sinner" dies down. “Touch” hits as the lights in the arena go red. Persona comes out following Xander Nova, who looks very confident.

[/color]

MONICA DELUCA
And his opponent, led by Xander Nova,from Eastern Europe and weighing 200 lbs, this is Persona!

Persona simply stares straight ahead, all business, and gets into the ring, staring down her opponent with intimidation.[/color]

VIPER vs PERSONA

The ref called for the bell and both Viper and Persona came out swinging. Viper was able to use his size to get the early advantage. Viper used power moves to keep Persona down. One spot saw Viper lock in the Viper-Lock, but Persona was able to get to the rope. Viper kept up the punishment, hitting a powerbomb on Persona but only being able to get a two count.

Persona fought back with the help of her manager's distraction and took Viper down with a clothesline. Persona used her speed and worked on Viper's legs to keep him grounded. Persona tried different submission moves but wasn't able to secure a victory.

Viper and Persona kept at each other both scoring near falls. Viper went for another Viper-Lock, but Persona countered and hit a jumping DDT for the win.

MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner and moving onto 4 Up, Persona!

MARK BISHOP
What a great match out of these two.

JASON MARTEL
Well Persona got lucky here tonight. But maybe luck is all she'll need to win 4 Up this year.

Persona follows Xander to the back as the fans boo them out of the building.[/color]

EXTREME DOILIES! BECAUSE SEXY AND SASSY DOESN'T NEED TO BE SISSY! EXTREME DOILIES![/center]

[Hollywood]

Shot opens in Gordon Heath's office, where Gordon Heath is sitting down with Misty Crawford.

MISTY CRAWFORD
You wanted to see me?

GORDIE
I did, for you see I wanted to announce who I've deemed worthy of spots in 4 Up thus far. Joining James Jackson and Persona will be Wench, Vin Sin, Doomsday, Enigmah, Emo Kid and of course, last year's winner, Hellspawn.

MISTY CRAWFORD
What about Johnny Moxie, Chris Angel and Jack Clinton? They were the winning team in that handicap match earlier tonight.

GORDIE
I guess I can put them into 4 Up, but only because someone as beautiful as you suggested it. Now as I mentioned earlier tonight, the winner of TNT vs the Alley Ratz would get a Texas Tag Team Title match. Well that match will take place next Saturday night on Guys Night Out from Jaguar's Gentlemen's Club in Euless, Texas. And also next week, there will be two more 4 Up qualifying matches. Mauler will take on Mike Williams, and Mike "Beastman" Hanson will take on Marcus Williams. And after what I heard about earlier tonight before the show went on the air with Sean O'Brien being injured at the hands of the Destruction Crew, no members of either Destruction Crew or Chapter Six... not even Anthony Spiccoli... will be allowed at ringside fore either of the two qualifying matches. Now if you don't mind, the show must go on.

Shot switches to ringside as "White Knuckles" booms over the PA. The crowd boos as Hellspawn, Wench and Goryokaku, led to the ring by Tanya Adams, walk down to the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
The following is a 3-on-2 handicap match set for one fall. First, led to the ring by Tanya Adams, the team of Hellspawn, Wench and Goryokaku, the Dark Ones!

JASON MARTEL
I've gotta call Wench's focus into question here.

MARK BISHOP
She sure doesn't look all there.

Gory doesn't seem focused as he's not even stopping for his prayer. The Dark Ones enter the ring, not looking to be all there as "White Knuckles" dies down. "Indestructible" booms over the PA as the crowd doesn't know how to react at first. As the main riff of the song comes on, Green lights flash and a smoke comes over the entryway. Reaper and Cyanide come out and start to walk down to the ring as the crowd comes unglued.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents, the team of the SNW Texas Champion Soul Reaper and SNW Von Erich Memorial Champion Cyanide, Death Sentence!

MARK BISHOP
What an ovation for the cousins!

JASON MARTEL
If they don't get their careers ended tonight, then here's hoping a Mac truck runs them over after the show.

MARK BISHOP
Oh come on!

Reaper and Cyanide slap hands with the fans on their way to the ring. When they get in the ring, they each climb a corner and pose for the crowd, and then switch corners. They hop down as "Indestructible" dies down. Goryokaku demands that he starts for his team, and calls for Cyanide, who gladly starts the match for his team.

Gory locks up with Cyanide, and Cyanide knees Gory in the midsection, followed by a flurry of stiff knife edge chops. Cyanide finishes the sequence off with a huracanrana. Gory quickly tags out to Hellspawn, who runs in and attempts a clothesline, but Cyanide ducks out of the way. Hellspawn turns around and goes for a big boot, but Cyanide ducks under and tags in Reaper as the crowd goes wild.

MARK BISHOP
Here we go! The rematch from WrestleStock!

JASON MARTEL
And I believe we're about to see how the match would've gone had Hellspawn not let Soul Reaper win.

MARK BISHOP
You really believe that drivel from the big man?!

JASON MARTEL
You calling Hellspawn a liar?

Reaper and Hellspawn stare each other down as the crowd continues to intensify. Hellspawn and Reaper exchange right hand punches until Hellspawn nails Reaper with a humongous headbutt, followed by a sidewalk slam. Hellspawn goes for a cover. ONE... Reaper gets the shoulder up. Hellspawn doesn't let up as he locks Reaper in the STF. Referee Rick Maynard checks in to see if Reaper gives up, but he refuses as he inches toward the ropes. Hellspawn tries to pull back, but Reaper makes it to the ropes and Hellspawn has to let go, but waits till the ref's count is up to four.

Hellspawn drags Reaper back, holding onto his wrists and keeping Reaper down facefirst. Hellspawn plants his knee onto Reaper's back, lifts Reaper up and drives him down facefirst with a Curb Stomp. Hellspawn drives Reaper down facefirst repeatedly several times in a row, then makes a tag to Wench.

JASON MARTEL
Now this is the X-Factor here. How will Wench fare considering what's gone down tonight.

MARK BISHOP
And yet another old rivalry about to be reignited here.

Wench picks Reaper up and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but Reaper reverses the whip, sending Wench into the ropes. Reaper catches Wench and attempts a Heart Stopper Spinebuster, but Wench counters with a DDT to the amazement of the crowd. Wench goes for a cover. ONE... TWO... Reaper kicks out. Wench goes to climb the turnbuckle as Reaper picks himself up. Wench comes flying off the top rope with a missile dropkick, but Reaper ducks down and Wench lands on the canvas facefirst. Reaper makes the tag in to Cyanide. They pick Wench up and drop her down with a Double Northern Light Suplex, then Reaper goes back to his corner.

MARK BISHOP
Wench not faring too well at the moment as Cyanide picks her up and slams her down with a Tiger Suplex. ONE... TWO... Wench kicks out.

JASON MARTEL
She better get it together pretty quick.

Cyanide picks Wench up and attempts to whip her into the corner, but she catches her momentum and hops to the top turnbuckle, jumps off and nails Cyanide with a Whisper In The Wind. Wench picks Cyanide up in a bulldog headlock, runs and drops him down facefirst with a running bulldog. Wench follows up with a leg drop, then makes a tag to Hellspawn. Gory asks her why she didn't tag him in, but she ignores him.

JASON MARTEL
Look at that! Wench just blew off Goryokaku!

MARK BISHOP
All is not well in the Dark Ones camp.

Hellspawn picks Cyanide up and whips him into the ropes, ducks down and throws Cyanide up into the air, then Cyanide crashes down to the mat from the overhead back body drop. Hellspawn picks Cyanide back up and powerbombs him to the mat. ONE... TWO... Reaper breaks up the pin. The ref admonishes Reaper to his corner, and while the ref is distracted, Gory runs in and helps Hellspawn put the boots to Cyanide. But Wench stays on the apron, shaking her head at the unfair double team. Gory storms back to the Dark Ones corner and berates Wench about not helping out, but she tunes him out.

JASON MARTEL
That's the second time Wench has blatantly ignored her master, and this time she didn't even help her team!

MARK BISHOP
This is stranger than the snow monkeys invading Guys Night Out last Saturday night!

Hellspawn shoots a strange look over at Wench, but continues to work over Cyanide with a series of stomps, followed by a big elbow drop. Hellspawn picks Cyanide up and brings him right back down with a shoulder breaker. Hellspawn goes for another pinfall attempt. ONE... TWO... Reaper again breaks it up, and again the ref admonishes him back to his corner. This time Hellspawn and Gory switch without a tag as Wench looks on in disgust. Hellspawn tries to get an answer out of Wench, but nothing doing. Gory picks Cyanide up and bodyslams him to the canvas. Gory backs up, rebounds off the ropes, jumps up in the air and attempts a knee drop, but Cyanide moves out of the way as Gory crashes his knee to the mat. He holds his knee in agony as Cyanide makes the tag to Reaper to a big ovation from the crowd.

MARK BISHOP
Reaper into the ring, but Hellspawn runs in and goes for a clothesline! Reaper ducks, Hellspawn turning around... REAPERCUTTER! Hellspawn rolls to the outside.

JASON MARTEL
Gory is in big trouble!

Reaper picks Gory up and whips him into the corner, then gets down on all fours. Cyanide runs, vaults off of Reaper's back and nails Gory in the head with a Shining Wizard.

MARK BISHOP
Rising Sun!

JASON MARTEL
What is Wench doing just standing on the apron?!

Cyanide and Reaper pick Gory up, with Cyanide hitting the Stroke while Reaper at the same time nails the Flatliner.

MARK BISHOP
The Death Sentence! That should do it as Reaper makes the cover! ONE... TWO... THREE!

MONICA DELUCA
Your winners of the match, Cyanide and Soul Reaper, Death Sentence!

Cyanide and Soul Reaper's celebration is cut short as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels runs into the ring and blasts Cyanide in the back with a steel chair, drawing the ire of Soul Reaper. Reaper gives chase after Kid Thunder, who runs to the back. Reaper goes through the curtain, only to go flying back from behind the curtain, crashing to the floor. Craig "Senior" Mueller and George Dunpork walk out from behind the curtain to loud boos from the crowd.

MARK BISHOP
Now just what in the blue blazes is the meaning of this?!

JASON MARTEL
Alex Daniels must've paid Gordon Heath to get Soul Reaper softened up for the big title match at 4 Up! What brilliance on the part of Kid Thunder!

The Sports Nutz pick Reaper up, slamming his head into the security railing as they drag him back down to the ring. Hellspawn has gotten back up and helps lay the boots to Cyanide. He and Tanya yell at Wench to get in and help, as Gory is still unconscious from the Death Sentence double team finisher. She shakes her head, hops down off the apron and heads to the back, refusing to take part in the beatdown that the Sports Nutz and Hellspawn dole out to Soul Reaper and Cyanide. She grabs her Texas Tag Title belt and walks off.

JASON MARTEL
What in the hell has gotten into Wench?! She's given a spot in 4 Up, and this is the lack of gratitude she shows?! And remember, she has to defend those Texas Tag belts with Gory against TNT next week!

Craig "Senior" Mueller picks up Cyanide and sets him on the top turnbuckle as George Dunpork climbs the top turnbuckle on the opposite side. Mueller slams Cyanide down with a superplex, then Dunpork squashes him with a big splash, nailing the Blowout. Hellspawn, meanwhile, grabs Reaper's Texas Championship belt as Reaper slowly staggers up. Reaper turns around, only to get blasted by Hellspawn with the belt, busting Reaper wide open as the crowd rains down the boos and tosses debris into the ring. Gordie gets some cheap kicks in on Cyanide and Reaper as the show fades to black.