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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:27:56 GMT -6
In a dark match before the show:
-Alexander Draven def. Jive Talkin' Stu via pinfall after Draven hit Stu with the Draven Driver.
"Psycho Circus" plays in the background as the camera pans down into an abandoned warehouse. We see random people running everywhere as various SNW wrestlers on the roster duke it out wherever they can pick a fight, with explosions going off all around them. Meanwhile, we see various past SNW highlights played on various drum barrells and walls, with the show open ending with a big melee with all of SNW's best inside a ring, again with explosions going off.
The camera shot switches to inside the Gordietorium, where a sellout crowd of 3,524 are jam packed, screaming their heads off and holding up any signs that they have.
MARK BISHOP
Welcome to Saturday Night Onslaught, live from the Gordietorium in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas! I'm Mark Bishop, filling in for Mark Followill, who's on the road with the Dallas Mavericks.
JASON MARTEL
Bishop, you might as well drop the filling in for Followill line because it's pretty much you and me on a regular basis here on Saturday Night Onslaught."Ecstasy of Gold" is blaring over the PA as Gordon Heath, George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller make their way down to the ring, throwing peanuts at the ringside fans.MARK BISHOP
And we're kicking the show off with Sports Talk, where Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz will welcome their guest, Versus Vince.
JASON MARTEL
You mean Lucky Vince.
MARK BISHOP
Sometimes it's better to be lucky than good.Gordie, Craig and George take their seats in their movie director style chairs inside the ring, the fans booing them.GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the most requested wrestling talk show on television today, Sports Talk!
Gordie, Craig and George are all appalled by the heckling of the 3,000+ inside the Gordietorium.DUNPORK
You people should all be thrown out of here by security for showing such a vulgar display of disrespect!THROW US OUT! THROW US OUT! THROW US OUT!CRAIG
We're just too nice, so we're not going to throw you people out, even though you all deserve it! Now let's get this show on the road, shall we?
GORDIE
Thanks, guys. Tonight, our guest has caught Sports Nutz Wrestling by storm, and has already been added to the Balance of Power Scaffold Match at WrestleStock II on March 27. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... Versus Vince!"You Can Run" hits, and Versus Vince walks out from the back to a nice pop from the crowd. He enters the Gordietorium raising his right arm, then walks down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans.MARK BISHOP
Here comes Versus Vince, who is quickly rising the ladder to success here in SNW.
JASON MARTEL
I think he's going to turn out to be a flash in the pan.
MARK BISHOP
We'll just see about that.Vince enters the ring, approaching the vacant director's style chair and picking up the mic as he sits down.DUNPORK
Let me be the first to welcome you to Sports Talk, Mr. Vince. Before saying anything, Vince looks to the left, and then to the right.
VERSUS VINCE
Well, I'd like to be the first to tell you that welcomes aren't in order. I've been here long enough to know that. I've been here enough to know that people in SNW don't really welcome you, unless of course, you are Versus Vince. I'm that guy anyone wouldn't want to run into in a dark alley.
CRAIG MUELLER
Vince, you've had quite the meteoric rise here in SNW thus far, undefeated in a handful of matches. You've even secured a spot in the Balance of Power Scaffold Match, where if you can climb the scaffold and grab the briefcase, you score yourself a shot at the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship, a shot that is good for a full year. But you're also going to be in the ring with the likes of Andy Lionheart, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara, "The Living Legend" Matt Margera, and there are still more participants to be entered into this match as time goes on. Don't you think you're a bit outmatched here?
VERSUS VINCE
Of course I'm outmatched. Even if it was one on one with Andy Lionheart or Matt Margera, I'd still be outmatched, but I can't say the same thing about Tyler Guevara, 'cause I already beat him and mopped the floor afterward. But a match like that is unpredictable. And having not been here very long, odds are I'm not going to win. This doesn't necessarily mean I don't have the evens. The fact of the matter is, I'll try my hardest to win, and if I do, I'll go on and I will win the Texas Championship.
DUNPORK
Just listen to yourself, man. That kind of attitude is the very reason you will not win the Balance of Power Scaffold Match. Saying that the odds are you won't win? I don't recall Joe Montana saying that on his way to leading the San Francisco 49ers to the Super Bowl. I never heard Brett Hull say that when he scored the Stanley Cup winning goal for the Dallas Stars. Just what kind of attitude is that, chief? VERSUS VINCE
We're not talking about that right now. We are talking about Versus Vince going into a high profile match after being here a month at the most. I know what you want me to say. You want me to say I should be hyped up and ready to go and win that match, but Andy and Matt, and even Tyler, they've been here longer than I have, putting experience on their side. I'm younger, putting even more experience on their side. And I've been wrestling only about four years, putting even more experience on their side. So I can't say the odds aren't against me. I will not, however, say that I don't have confidence in myself.
GORDIE
Well you'll need all the confidence in the world if you ever expect to make it in this cruel and brutal world of professional wrestling, young man. Now you listen to me. I took these two men standing before you and made them stars when nobody else would. Under my guidance, they have won tag team championships everywhere they've been. I can do the same for you, because it's obvious that you need the help. What do you think?
The fans inside the Gordietorium are shouting "Don't do it!" "He's a snake!" and many other catcalls.
JASON MARTEL
Don't listen to these fans, Vince! Listen to Gordie!
MARK BISHOP
Why should Versus Vince listen to that snake in the grass?!
JASON MARTEL
It's not everyday that your boss offers to take you under his wing. If Versus Vince is smart, he'll take Gordie up on his offer.
Vince thinks about it for a second, takes a big gulp, and seems like he's going to cave into Gordie's pressure as big smiles come over the faces of Gordie, George and Craig. Vince has a big grin on his face as well, but much to the dismay of the sportsy trio...
VERSUS VINCE
HEEEEEEEEEEELL NOOOOOOOOOOO!
The crowd erupts with a huge ovation as Gordie, George and Craig lose it inside the ring, throwing a tantrum, yelling at Vince.
JASON MARTEL
That punk made the biggest mistake of his life!
MARK BISHOP
No, he's made the best decision of his life!
Gordie yells at Vince, aggressively poking him on his chest, which Vince takes exception to, grabbing Gordie by the collar as the crowd erupts yet again. Craig tries to jump Vince, but Vince brushes him back with several right hand punches. George tries to run over to grab Vince, but Vince sees him out of the corner of his eye and nails him with a back elbow, then turns around, nailing George with several stiff forearm shots. The crowd stirs as from out the crowd and jumping over the security railing is Tyler Guevara. The crowd is yelling at Vince to turn around, but when he does, it's too late as Tyler nails him flush in the face with a running big boot.
BOOOOOOO!!!
MARK BISHOP
Tyler Guevara, jumping Versus Vince from behind and stomping him into the mat!
JASON MARTEL
I told you that Versus Vince was making the biggest mistake of his young career!
MARK BISHOP
And now Guevara lifts Vince up, and drives his head down into the mat with the Hellbent For Destruction.
JASON MARTEL
Versus Vince, say goodbye to your professional wrestling career.
MARK BISHOP
And look at Tyler, just smiling as he stands over an unconscious Versus Vince. Right now, let's take it to Misty Crawford, who has some breaking news concerning Chris P.
Shot opens backstage in front of Jack Clinton's locker room door, where Misty Crawford is standing by with Jack Clinton, who's already in his ring attire, ready for action.
MISTY CRAWFORD
With me right now is Jack Clinton, who was scheduled to team up with Chris P. tonight against Skip and Scotty D, the Alternative Lifestylers. However, Chris has yet to show up. Jack, can you update us on his whereabouts?
JACK CLINTON
Well, Misty, I really hate to disappoint everybody, but Chris is still pretty pissed off over what happened last week and I tried to convince him to come back to Texas for tonight. I thought I'd done a good enough job of convincing but he called me this morning and said that he had reconsidered coming down and that he was gonna stay in Jersey. So basically the folks out there are gonna see a handicap match tonight...but it ain't gonna change things. I'm going out there, my side is gonna win, and that's all there is to it. No use talking about it anymore, right?
Clinton walks out of the interview area with a purpose.
THE DALLAS MAVERICKS: WE NOW HAVE STREET CRED YO! FOR SHIZZLE! |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:28:43 GMT -6
"Enter Sandman" plays over the sound system, and the crowd cheers for Jack Clinton as he walks out from the backstage area. He ignores the outstretched palms of the fans as he looks on into the ring that houses his two frightened opponents.
MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a handicapped match scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, the team of Skip and Scotty D, the Alternative Lifestylers. Their opponent, from San Diego, California. Weighing in at 355 lbs., Jack Clinton!
Clinton climbs over the top rope, and as he stepped over Skip and Scotty D backed up very quickly into the corner to stay away from their frightening opponent.
MARK BISHOP
Well, as we learned earlier today Chris P. is not here in Fort Worth, he's not even in the state so Jack Clinton has to go it alone tonight against Skip and Scotty D.
JASON MARTEL
Do you see her Mark?
MARK BISHOP
Who do I see, Monica?
JASON MARTEL
No, Sarah Palin. I think she's going to show up here.
MARK BISHOP
OK, maybe this is a joke only Followill gets but what are you talking about?
JASON MARTEL
Monica said handicapped match, and I'm just scared that Sarah Palin will come and hunt us or release a statement or send her daughter after us.
MARK BISHOP
Oh Good Lord.
Jack Clinton vs. The Alternative Lifestylers
The bell rang, and any thoughts that Jack Clinton would have been distracted or overwhelmed were quickly vaporized. Both Skip and Scotty ran full bore at Clinton, who dropped both with a double clothesline that flattened both men. Clinton yanked up Skip, and lifted him high over his head. Clinton walked over to the ring ropes, and press slammed Skip over the top rope onto the floor below with a sick *THUD*. Back in the ring, Clinton turned his attention to Scotty. He grabbed him by the head, jacked him up in the air in a suplex position, and brought him down hard onto the canvas with the Clinton Driver. Scotty bounced off the canvas like a bouncy ball, and the cover by Clinton was simply academic as the three count was made.
MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, Jack Clinton!
MARK BISHOP
Folks, if you thought this would work in the Alternative Lifestylers favor with all this swirling around Jack Clinton, I hope you didn't bet on it.
JASON MARTEL
Well, those two male homosexuals just bent over and took it, like they normally do...
MARK BISHOP
Whoa! Let's not get too graphic here.
JASON MARTEL
Hey, we aren't TV PG. We do what we want, not like those northern Yankee bastards.
MARK BISHOP
Still, we want to be in good taste here.
JASON MARTEL
Speaking of good taste, look who is meeting Clinton at the top of the aisle.
Clinton was walking up the aisle, and when he got to the top he was met by Craig Mueller. The two exchanged words, and after a moment Clinton shook his head and muttered "You'll be sorry" as he went to the back while Mueller went to the ring.
JASON MARTEL
I'm sure the good commissioner is not too pleased with the stunt Chris P. has pulled tonight.
MARK BISHOP
I can only imagine the consequences Commissioner Mueller has in mind.
CRAIG MUELLER
As you all have seen, Chris P. has committed one of the biggest single no-no's in this business. He had been advertised to be here tonight, and he failed to meet his obligations, bringing him into breach of contract. Gordie was ready to fire him on the spot, but I was able to convince Gordie to let me handle it. So I want to inform you, the fans who Chris P. spat on by his actions tonight, what I just told Jack Clinton. Next week on Guys Night Out, Chris P. will be in a handicap match of his own. But I'm not putting him up against any two scrubs. I'm putting him up against two of the best independent wrestlers in the state of Texas today. Next Saturday night on Guys Night Out from Duke's Original Roadhouse in Bedford, Texas, Chris P. will face off against "Superstar" Jared Steele and Seth Shai! And if Chris doesn't show up for his match next week, not only will he be fired from SNW, but he won't be able to wrestle anywhere ever again because we will see to it that he's blackballed from this business! Now before I go...
The camera pans over to the new SportsTron plasma screen(obviously not all that big because of the theater style setting that is the Gordietorium), where we see Chris P. joining the show via satellite on his couch at his home.
CHRIS P.
Whoa, hold up a minute here. Slow your roll, commish.
JASON MARTEL
How the hell did Chris just hijack the show with a satellite feed?!
CHRIS P.
You wanna talk about how Gordie was gonna fire me on the spot, Craig? I got news for you. You don't fire Chris P. I come and go as I please. And besides, even if you tried to fire me, unless you had some sort of justifiable reason, we'd be in court faster than Alex Daniels and a ref can screw me out of a win, and you can bank on that! [/color] The fans in the arena roar their approval at Chris' statement. Craig is dumbfoundedCHRIS P.
Now, I'm not gonna go into a long and drawn out thing because you've got a show to run in that little building, so I'm gonna make this short and sweet. You can stop crapping your pants over whether or not I'm gonna show up in Bedford next week. Because I'll be there. And I really don't care who you convinced to take me on. I don't. Because no matter how good they may or may not be as far as I'm concerned, they're nothing but sacrificial lambs. And I guarantee you this, Craig, you are not gonna like how next week ends for your little hired guns. Put that in your pipe and smoke it[/color] The satellite connection cuts off moments later. Craig leaves the ring, seething in anger as the camera shot switches over to the broadcast table with Mark Bishop and Jason Martel.MARK BISHOP
Well it looks like SNW is stuck with Chris P.
JASON MARTEL
And that's just too bad. I was really hoping that the idiot would get fired for the way he's conducted himself. He's only had one match here in SNW, and he thinks everything should be handed to him on a silver platter. Well screw Chris and the boat he rode in on! As far as I'm concerned, he's in for the worst nightmare of his life, because I can guarantee you that from here on out, Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz will make his life a living hell, and I will enjoy every minute of it!
MARK BISHOP
Switching gears now, let's send it over to Brenda Price for the WrestleStock II Report!"WrestleMania" by Jim Johnston is playing in the background as the camera shot switches to the SNW Control Room, with Brenda Price standing in front of dozens of TV monitors showing action from SNW's past. Brenda Price is standing by as the music plays in the background while she announces the matches for the WrestleStock II card.BRENDA PRICE
Welcome everyone to the WrestleStock II Report. SNW WrestleStock II comes to you live on pay per view from the sold out Cowboys Stadium, the Death Star if you will, in Arlington, Texas, Saturday night, March 27 at 7 PM Eastern, 6 PM Central. Don't forget that the week before at 7 PM Central time on the CW Network, live from Bob's Steak and Chophouse in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas, inside Sundance Square, will be the 2010 edition of the Sportys. Go to SNW.com and place your votes now!
Now onto this spectacular card set to take place inside the Death Star. The main event pits champion versus champion, title for title, as SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion, "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews, takes on SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel, in the first ever Lucifer's Last Stand Match, where a 20 foot high open air steel cage will encompass the entire ringside area, and inside the cage will be a ladder. The only way to win this match is to climb the ladder and grab both the Texas Heavyweight Championship and the Bad Blood Championship. This is a match that could very well end, if not shorten, the careers of both indivuals.
Moving on, the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles are up for grabs as the current champions, Samuel Hale and Marcus "The Storm" Ryan, otherwise known as the Young Gunz, along with their manager Myke Rhines, square off against Soul Reaper and Cyanide, Death Sentence. Right now, let's hear from the challengers.Shot opens up inside Reaper's Dojo as Soul Reaper and Cyanide sit down on the ring apron of the ring that is inside the now empty dojo.REAPER
As we draw closer to WrestleStock II we are beginnging to see Insurgence grow more and more agressive and at the same time careless. Its obvious that they're running scared at this point because they've got all the hardest hitters targeting them. For us, we're going after those cowards in the Young Gunz and we're coming to take back the tag belts which were stolen from us. Now, everybody knows how they got ahold of them, and while I can't fault them for avoiding a fair fight against us, I can fault their intelligence for forgetting that we'd obviously get a rematch. The things that are going to happen to the Young Gunz are only describable as nightmarish and ungodly... isn't that right Cyanide...
CYANIDE
Thats right, Reaper. They chose to piss us off by using their cheap tactics because they're afraid to fight us head to head. But at the 'Stock, they're going to find out that every deed will eventually come back at you. In this case, you're going to have no choice but to face us without the advantage of beating on us after we've been laid out. Forget about the tag team championships for a minute... what you did was bad enough to warrant us breaking both of your legs just on principle alone. Watching you pay for your sins would be good enough for us, but taking those belts back and adding insult to your injury will be our added bonus. Nobody could possibly blame us for destroying your sorry asses, because lets face it kids.... you brought this on yourselves.
REAPER
The sand in the hour glass is about to run out for you guys.. and we're enjoying watching you guys squirm as WrestleStock keeps getting closer. See you boys soon.Shot goes back to Brenda Price in the SNW Control Room.BRENDA PRICE
You don't think Death Sentence is ready for this match? Folks, if there's anything worse than having to face Death Sentence, it's having to face a pissed off Death Sentence. A new match just added to the card... Y Kores and their manager, Xander Nova, take on the Sports Authority and their manager, Coach Tom Foolery, in an 8 Person Tag Team Match. You heard me right. After weeks of the managers interfering in each other's matches, Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller decided enough was enough, and that if they wanted to get physical, they could do so at WrestleStock II. In fact, here are pre-recorded comments from Craig that were taped yesterday afternoon.Shot switches to a pre-recorded promo from Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller, dressed as always in his suit and wearing his trademark Tom Landry-esque fedora on his head. He's standing by in the SNW Studios to deliver his message.CRAIG MUELLER
For weeks, both Y Kores and the Sports Authority have been interfering in each other's matches, with the managers, Xander Nova and Coach Tom Foolery, both getting involved just as much, if not more, than the actual wrestlers themselves. Therefore, it is my decision that if Xander Nova and Coach Tom Foolery want to be involved, they can do so at WrestleStock II in an 8 Person Tag Team Match that will pit Xander Nova and Y Kores against Coach Tom Foolery and the Sports Authority. Also, we are well aware of Xander Nova's past back and neck problems. However, Gordon Heath, George Dunpork and I all agreed that if Xander is healthy enough to get involved in brawls involving his ladies, then he's healthy enough to compete. Thank you all for your time.Shot goes back to Brenda Price.BRENDA PRICE
Big news from the commish. Gotta wonder if the past neck and back problems for Xander Nova will play a role in that match. Another war that SNW is going to try to settle at WrestleStock II, though I doubt it's settled here... a no disqualification, no count out Three Way Dance, where the match does not end until two other wrestlers are pinned or made to submit... it will be "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler vs. Levetation vs. Syco Boy. These three men have known each other for quite some time. They've traveled up and down the road together, have stayed at the same motels, you name it. But over the years, jealousy and animosity has built up among all three of them and it's going to come to a head at WrestleStock II.
Also on tap is the Balance of Power Scaffold Match. In this match, a briefcase with a contract for an SNW Texas Title match that can be cashed in at any time, will be hung up from the rafters. There will be a scaffold inside the ring, and in order to win the match, you must climb the scaffold and retrieve the briefcase. Currently entered in the match are Versus Vince, Matt Margera, Tyler Guevara and Andy Lionheart. However, it is my understanding by next week, we will hear the final two entrants in this very match.
Fans, don't be shut out! Order WrestleStock II from your local cable or satellite provider now! Once again, WrestleStock II is live from Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas, Saturday night, March 27 at 7 PM Eastern, 6 PM Central!THIS SEGMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE STRAIGHT EDGE SOCIETY. STRAIGHT EDGE SOCIETY: STRAIGHT EDGE MEANS I'M BETTER THAN YOU![/center] |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:29:36 GMT -6
Chris Angel is shaking hands with fans at ringside, then puts on his headset and takes a seat as the show comes back from commercial, with "Stranglehold" playing over the speakers.
MARK BISHOP
Welcome back to Saturday Night Onslaught, and joining us for commentary for this match is the current SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel. Chris, welcome to the show.
CHRIS ANGEL
A pleasure to be here. What's up, Jason? I didn't hurt you too bad the last time we met, did I?
JASON MARTEL
Don't you even dare!
CHRIS ANGEL
OOOOOOOOH!
"Don't Wait" by Blue Collar Special hits and out walks Levetation from the back, showered with loud cheers slapping hands with as many fans possible on his way down to the ring.
MONICA DELUCA
The following is a non-title match, set for one fall. First, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and weighing in at 227 lbs, Levetation!
MARK BISHOP
A huge opportunity for the Levetated One, who could make a case for being in line for a shot at the Texas Championship should he pick up a win here tonight.
JASON MARTEL
Well Levetation is certainly no stranger to being at the top of the mountain, but he's never faced anyone quite like "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews.
CHRIS ANGEL
I don't know much about Levetation, but I do know that Vincent Matthews better not be looking past him here tonight.
Levetation enters the ring, climbing the turnbuckles and acknowledging the cheering crowd as his music dies down. "This Fire Burns" hits and Myke Rhines leads the way to deafening boos from the crowd. Vincent Matthews follows behind him, wearing his Texas Championship belt around his waist.
MONICA DELUCA
And his opponent, accompanied to the ring by Myke Rhines... from Fort Worth, Texas and weighing 215 lbs... the SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion... "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews!
MARK BISHOP
The Texas Champion, joined as always by the dirty old man himself, Myke Rhines.
CHRIS ANGEL
He better not try to hit on that brunette in the front row that I was talking to.
JASON MARTEL
Oh please, Chris. If that girl had any sense, she'd dump you for the much wiser Myke Rhines.
Matthews and Rhines walk around to ringside, to the broadcast location, staring down Chris Angel.
CHRIS ANGEL
WrestleStock II isn't for another month, boys.
Matthews enters the ring as Rhines stays on the floor. Matthews takes off his championship belt and hands it to Rhines, who holds it for him.
Non-Title Match
Vincent Matthews vs Levetation
Matthews slapped Levetation to start the match, which seemed to be a big mistake as Levetation opened up with a series of right hand punches, and ending the sequence with a thumb to Vincent's eye as the crowd cheered and roared in laughter. Levetation continued to dominate Matthews for several minutes, but when Levetation went for an Irish whip, Matthews was able to reverse it, enabling Rhines to trip Levetation up, angering Chris Angel as he shouted about it on commentary. The ref warned Rhines about it, but Rhines pleaded innocence. Matthews proceeded to take advantage and work Levetation over. At one point, Matthews went for an Octopus Hold, but Levetation refused to give up, hiptossing Matthews down to the canvas, and now both men were down. Both men fought their way back up, with Matthews going for a clothesline, only for Levetation to duck it. Matthews turned around, and Levetation caught him with a Fisherman's Suplex, but only got a two count as Rhines ran into the ring and stomped Levetation, drawing the disqualification.
CHRIS ANGEL
Oh brother, now what's that old fart trying to do now?
MARK BISHOP
Getting his man disqualified, that's what.
MONICA DELUCA
Your winner as a result of a disqualification, Levetation!
JASON MARTEL
I don't know if that was a smart move by Rhines, because Levetation is all sorts of pissed off right now!
MARK BISHOP
Levetation turning his attention to Myke Rhines, and look at Rhines begging for mercy like the pathetic coward he is! Look out!
Matthews clocks Levetation in the back of the head with his SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship belt as the fans boo in disapproval. Matthews and Rhines stomp away at Levetation until Chris Angel chases them out of the ring to a big pop. Matthews walks over to the timekeeper's area as Angel checks on Levetation and asks for a mic.
VINCENT MATTHEWS
Angel, I saw you there with Bishop and Martel and I see your vain attempt to try and assist the man I just annihilated. I didn't give a damn about this match, and I didn't give a damn about this man. He was simply a doll, a puppet, a useless hunk of flesh and blood standing in to send you a message. If this is what I will do to someone I have no feelings for, then you can not possibly imagine what I will do to someone I hate when I actually have the minor risk of losing this beautiful title. Angel, pay close attention. At WrestleStock, this is your fate.
THW BLOODLUST 2010: TUNE IN AS SNW TEXAS CHAMPION DEFEATS GABBI SPARKS TO BRING THE NO RULEZ TITLE TO SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING! WATCHING PARTY IS AT THE RECONSIDER LOUNGE AT 7 PM CENTRAL! SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING: CHOKE ON DEEZ NUTZ! |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:30:17 GMT -6
Back from commercial, where we see a replay of the Myke Rhines getting Vincent Matthews against Levetation, and the post-match beatdown by Vincent Matthews, with Chris Angel chasing Matthews and Rhines out of the ring.
MARK BISHOP
Welcome back to Saturday Night Onslaught, and earlier, Vincent Matthews and Levetation were going at it in a non-title match, which saw Myke Rhines interfere, causing the disqualification. After the match, Levetation went after Myke Rhines, only to be ambushed by Vincent Matthews. Chris Angel chased Matthews and Rhines out of the ring, then Matthews had this to say...
JASON MARTEL
Vincent Matthews hit the nail on the head. Chris Angel's days in SNW, I believe, are numbered.
MARK BISHOP
Right now, standing by with SNW co-owner Codi Shane is Misty Crawford. Misty?
We go to the SNW backstage area in front of the Saturday Night Onslaught banner, where Misty Crawford is standing by with Codi Shane.
MISTY CRAWFORD
Thanks, Bishop. Codi Shane, you asked for some air time during the break. If you would please enlighten the fans on what you wanted to discuss.
CODI SHANE
No problem, Misty. As you saw earlier, Vincent Matthews lost to Levetation via disqualification. Given the actions of Vincent Matthews, and given the outcome of his match, next Saturday night on Guys Night Out from Duke's Roadhouse in Bedford, Texas, Vincent Matthews will put his Texas Championship on the line against Levetation. Should Levetation win, Chris Angel will still have his championship match, just that it would be against Levetation. And if Levetation wins, the three way dance that pits Levetation against S.T. Strickler and Syco Boy will be changed to a one-on-one match between S.T. Strickler and Syco Boy. I thank you for your time.
"Voodoo" blares over the PA, and the fans boo as Tony Manzetti, with Coach Tom Foolery trailing behind him like a puppy, walks out from the back. Carrying his trademark bat, he mocks a few swings with the bat at the fanbase while he walks to the ring.
MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Brooklyn, New York. Being accompanied to the ring by Coach Tom Foolery, weighing in at 240 lbs., Tony Manzetti!
Manzetti climbs through the ropes while Foolery stays on the outside. Manzetti takes a couple of practice swings, doing his best A-Rod impression while Foolery cheers him on from the outside.
MARK BISHOP
Set for singles action here, as we see one half of the CIA take on a third of the Y Kores.
JASON MARTEL
Tony Manzetti is going to pound Petrina into the ground like a ball of pizza dough.
MARK BISHOP
Aren't you using a very unstable stereotype to describe Manzetti?
JASON MARTEL
Hey, he carries that bat around for a reason. He will tee off old school style on her.
MARK BISHOP
He can't use the bat though Jason.
JASON MARTEL
That's fine, I doubt he has too.
"Let Down" plays over the sound system, and the fans cheer as Petrina Rotchester, with Xander Nova in tow, scampers from the back to the aisle. She slaps hands with a few lucky fans as she walks the aisle to the ring.
MONICA DELUCA
His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova. From Toronto, Ontario, Canada by way of Belfast, Northern Ireland. Weighing in at 180 lbs., "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester!
Rotchester climbs through the second rope, and bounces slightly in the ring as Manzetti shows less than ample interest in his opponent as he slams the bat against the mat. Foolery is keeping a wary eye on Nova who is standing in Rotchester's corner.
MARK BISHOP
These two sides have had a bit of a rivalry brewing lately, exchanging victories in various contests. Round three sets up to be a good match up here.
JASON MARTEL
Please, Manzetti will pound her head in.
MARK BISHOP
Interestingly enough, Petrina Rotchester doesn't see much singles action as she usually teams with her fellow Y Kores members. It will be fun to see if she is up to handling the challenge.
JASON MARTEL
She isn't, she will not be able to rise to the challenge. This will fail worse than Tiger Woods.
Tony Manzetti vs. "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester
The match began, and a struggle for power and dominance quickly ensued. The pair traded moves and nearfalls, with Manzetti getting a one count off a sidewalk slam, Rotchester countering with a spear and getting a two count as well. After the initial flurry, Manzetti took control for a few minutes. Wearing Rotchester down with a bevy of suplexes and slams, including a stalling suplex that garnered a near fall that Rotchester broke when she barely got her right foot on the bottom ropes. Manzetti, frustrated at this point, climbed the top ropes and went for a flying elbow. He dived, only for Rotchester to roll out of the way and Manzetti to crash and burn. Rotchester took over, capitalizing on the failed move by Manzetti. She mainly kept him on the ground, neutralizing Manzetti's size advantage over her. A standing moonsault chained into a Boston crab riled the crowd up and highlighted her offensive banzai on Manzetti. He struggled in the crab, almost tapped out but was able to use his long arms to grasp the ropes and force Rotchester off him. The two quickly got to their feet, Manzetti with a noticeable slowness due to the pain Rotchester put him in. Rotchester tried to go for a spear again but Manzetti moved and Rotchester stopped short in the corner. Manzetti charged in with a kick, but Rotchester ducked and got hung up on the turnbuckle. Rotchester quickly took advantage, hooking up Manzetti and spiking him with the Dublin DDT. She hooked the leg 1...2...3!
MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester!
MARK BISHOP
Manzetti looked like he was going to set up Rotchester and end the match, but she turned the tables on him and picked up a victory.
JASON MARTEL
What an outrage!
MARK BISHOP
What, what outrage? How could you possibly be outraged?
JASON MARTEL
That match was just retarded!
MARK BISHOP
Oh no, he said the R word. Someone go ahead and call Sarah Palin and apologize.
JASON MARTEL
Why, unlike her our company succeeds at what we set out to do.
MARK BISHOP
Only one word for that: POW!
We switch over to outside James Jackson's locker room, where Bob is standing by with James for an interview.
BOB STURM
Alright, I'm, uh, here with one of the competitors in the Von Erich Memorial Title match tonight, the, uh, "Modern Day Hero" James Jackson. Now James, uh, you're, uh, taking on...
James snatches the mic from Bob's hand, then proceeds to give him the wave off. Bob throws his hands up in the air and just leaves, avoiding a beatdown. James looks at the camera, acts like he has something to say, then just drops the mic down, holding out his open hand before leaving the area.
TIG OL BITTIES! NO FURTHER EXPLANATION NEEDED! |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:31:25 GMT -6
"Monster" booms over the sound system, as the fans boo Syco Boy who walks out from the backstage area to the top of the aisle. Looking around, absorbing the heat he is feeling, he breaks into a very small, yet sly grin.
MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Clayton, North Carolina. Weighing in at 238 lbs., Syco Boy!
Syco Boy looks around, then dashes down the aisle into the ring. He slides into it, and poses on the turnbuckle while ignoring the boos and hisses.
MARK BISHOP
Syco Boy has been on a tear since he returned from his retirement, now it's time to see if he can duplicate his success.
JASON MARTEL
If? If? You really think that Syco Boy could lose tonight? You must be thick.
MARK BISHOP
I don't feel comfortable disclosing personal information about myself on the air, but it's not a guarantee Syco Boy wins.
JASON MARTEL
I beg to differ. He's not facing a real great opponent. It's not Vincent Matthews or anyone like him tonight.
"This War is Ours" blares over the PA, and the fans cheer as Andy Lionheart wildy emerges from the back. The fans are raucous as Lionheart breaks into a dead sprint down the aisle.
MONICA DELUCA
His opponent from Kemi, Finland. Weighing in at 210 lbs., he is "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart!
Lionheart sends himself belly first into the ring, and pops up to his feet. He stares down Syco Boy, who dropped down from the turnbuckle to face his opponent.
MARK BISHOP
Andy Lionheart is looking to bounce back from losing in the triple threat tag match last week. He and Alexander Draven fought hard, but the Alley Ratz took home the win.
JASON MARTEL
If you are beaten by the Alley Ratz, you must really suck. So I don't see how Syco Boy doesn't turn this Lionheart into a pussycat.
MARK BISHOP
Cheap joke, sorry no rimshot.
JASON MARTEL
That's OK, I'd prefer a rimjob.
MARK BISHOP
SIR!!!!!!!!!!!!
JASON MARTEL
What, did I say something?
Syco Boy vs. "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart
Two high flying offenses meant quite a bit of speed, and the match delivered. The two men were hesitant to attack each other, throwing kicks at each other only for the target to dodge and counter. Lionheart scored the first momentum grab when Syco went for a superkick but Lionheart blocked it and hit a DDT. Lionheart then hit a leg drop, and went for a cover only to get a two count. Lionheart got to his feet, and controlled Syco to wear him down. A spinebuster that led to a top rope leg drop garnered another two count, and a Camel Clutch worked on the neck of Syco. Syco struggled, but was able to grasp the bottom rope and cause the referee to break the hold. Lionheart got up, while Syco staggered to his feet. Lionheart bounced off the ropes, and went for Atonement but Syco ducked and Lionheart went sprawling. Syco embraced Lionheart in a bear hug, and flung him in a belly to belly suplex to the ground. He quickly went into a Sharpshooter, yanking the legs and lower back of Lionheart painfully. Lionheart struggled for a moment, then slowly crawled to the bottom rope and forced the rope break. Lionheart slowly got to his feet, and Syco pounced on him. He grabbed Lionheart, and grabbed him around the waist and got him vertical. Syco then forcefully brought Lionheart down with the Syco Clash, and rolled him over into a pin 1...2...3!
MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, Syco Boy!
MARK BISHOP
Syco Boy weakened Andy Lionheart, and he wasted no time by hitting the Syco Clash to get the three count and the victory here.
JASON MARTEL
Just like I said he would! I told you he'd be ready to go, and I was right.
MARK BISHOP
Well, sadly you were. I'm concerned about the toll this will take on Andy Lionheart. He has had some tough sledding lately, and one must wonder how this will affect him.
JASON MARTEL
He sucked to begin with, so it's not like he can really suck worse than he already does.
MARK BISHOP
How can you say he's sucked? He did earn his way into the Balance of Power Scaffold Match at WrestleStock II, not to mention he's taken some of the top talent to the limit here in SNW.
JASON MARTEL
Whatever, holmes.
Shot cuts to Matt Margera and Wench's locker room, where Wench is lacing up her boots in final preparations for her match. Matt is sitting by her side.
MATT MARGERA
You ready?
WENCH
As ready as I'll ever be.
Matt strokes Wench's hair, then gives her a kiss as they proceed to make out, the scene fading to commercial.
THIS SEGMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY CHIK-FIL-A! CHIK-FIL-A: THE WHITE MAN'S POPEYES! |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:32:41 GMT -6
"Superhero" screams over the sound system, and the fans boo as Alex Daniels walks out from the back. He puts his hands on his hips, and looks at the crowd. He then walks determinedly down the aisle, blocking out all the anger aimed at him.
MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Weighing in at 220 lbs., "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!
Daniels climbs through the two ropes, and spreads his arms wide to the jeering crowd.
MARK BISHOP
Alex Daniels is riding a hot streak, rebounding off of his loss in Von Erich Memorial Title tournament. He faces another stiff test this week, as he faces S.T. Strickler.
JASON MARTEL
This will be the power match of the night. One young spry warrior, and an experienced veteran. What more can you ask for?
MARK BISHOP
Well, this is very true. You do have an interesting confluence here...
JASON MARTEL
Right, that's what I just said.
"My Time" booms over the PA, and the fans do not pause their hate as S.T. Strickler struts out from the back. The fans boo even harder, as he cockily saunters down the aisle with a heavy air of confidence about him.
MONICA DELUCA
His opponent from Winchester, Virginia. Weighing in at 180 lbs., "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler!
Strickler casually climbs through the ropes, and Daniels locks eyes with him. They stare each other down, as they flex and move before the bell rings.
MARK BISHOP
I'm surprised this arena is large enough to hold the egos of these two in the same ring. If William Shatner was the referee, then I don't know how we'd handle all the swagger and self-promotion.
JASON MARTEL
Hey, it's easy to be confident when you are good.
MARK BISHOP
Yes, but can these two really afford that? Between them they have less titles than the Texas Rangers.
JASON MARTEL
Normally I'd get onto you about that, but I hate the Rangers so I'll give you credit for that one. Good shot!
"Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels vs. "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler
The two men walked around the ring scouting each other to start the match, then locked up. It quickly turned into a test of strength. A struggle at first led to Daniels overpowering Strickler, but Strickler kicked him right in the gut and hit a quick snapmare neckbreaker. Daniels popped right back up, but Strickler hit a bulldog on him and rolled him over. He hooked Daniel's leg, but only got a two count. For the next couple of minutes, this continued as Strickler rolled with his momentum. The highlight of his offensive combo was an inverted atomic drop into a pile driver that garnered a near fall with Daniels' arm shooting up like it had been fired out of a cannon. Strickler stood up and waited for Daniels to get up, when he attempted a dragon whip kick. Daniels quickly realized the danger, ducked, and blasted Strickler with a dropkick. Strickler went down, and Daniels quickly locked in a Sharpshooter. Strickler frantically clawed at the mat in pain, desperately trying to escape from the hold. Somehow, after a couple minutes of struggling, Strickler was able to latch two fingers on the bottom ropes forcing Daniels to break the hold. Daniels got up, with Strickler twisting on the mat in pain. Daniels went over and picked up Strickler, and lifted him looking like he was going for the Thunderbolt. All of a sudden, Strickler kicked his legs and countered out. Strickler quickly smashed Daniels with a clothesline in the back, and locked in an ankle lock. Daniels doesn't panic, rolled to his back and kicked Strickler in the chest. Daniels and Strickler met in the middle of the ring, with Strickler hitting Daniels with a double axe handle. He then lifted Daniels up for the Fisherman's Buster, but Daniels elbowed Strickler in the head forcing him to be dropped. Daniels acted quickly, wasting no time in hitting the Thunderbolt on Strickler and covering him, getting the three count and the win.
MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!
MARK BISHOP
This match was rocking and rolling, and in the end Daniels was able to counter out of Strickler's finisher, and nail the Thunderbolt.
JASON MARTEL
Well, that's the veteran in Daniels. Strickler tried to use a modified version of the Thunderbolt, but Kid Thunder was having none of it.
MARK BISHOP
One must think that Strickler's inexperience cost him this match, or more that Daniels' being very ring savvy won him this match.
JASON MARTEL
These two men fought hard, and without a doubt are two of the best in all of SNW.
THIS SEGMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CITY OF AZLE! THE CITY OF AZLE: WHERE STEREOTYPES HAPPEN! |
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Post by Hollywood on Feb 21, 2010 10:33:29 GMT -6
"Kashmir" begins to play as smoke fills the entrance area and James Jackson walks down the aisle, with the crowd red hot and booing him out of the building. However, there seems to be a heel section that is cheering him.
MARK BISHOP
Love them or hate them, everyone has stayed here inside the Gordietorium to see two of the very best go one-on-one for the vacant SNW Von Erich Memorial Championship. While I don't like how either James Jackson or Wench conduct business, I do have to give them their due.
JASON MARTEL
This is one of the few times I can root, I mean pick either wrestler to win. James Jackson has talked a mean game though, and went so far as to visit the old site of the now demolished Dallas Sportatorium, so I'm picking Jackson.
Jackson pauses in front of the apron with his head down and points to the sky. He jumps up on the apron, throwing his arms up and enters the ring as "Kashmir" dies down. "Awake and Alive" booms over the PA, and Wench emerges from behind the curtain as the fans boo her as well.
JASON MARTEL
How fitting is it that the lady who helped get the Von Erich Memorial Title off that fat slob, Super Vader, has a chance to regain her gold here tonight?
MARK BISHOP
I shudder to think how much she'll rub it in our faces if she does win tonight.
Wench slides into the ring, glaring into the eyes of James Jackson, who glares at her right back as Monica Deluca prepares to make the ring introductions.
MONICA DELUCA
The following match is scheduled for one fall, and it is for the vacant SNW Von Erich Memorial Championship. Introducing first, from Los Angeles, California by way of the Great White North and weighing 220 lbs... "The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!
Jackson smirks as the crowd, save for the heel section, boos him out of the building.
MONICA DELUCA
And his opponent, from Lenoir, North Carolina and weighing 110 lbs... Wench!
SNW Von Erich Memorial Championship
James Jackson vs Wench [/color][/b] Referee Rick Maynard gives his final instructions as Jackson and Wench stare each other down, then signals for the bell. Jackson and Wench circle each other for a few seconds, then lock up, struggling for position. Jackson backs Wench up in the corner, and the ref asks for a break, which surprisingly sees Jackson back off for a clean break, only for Wench to slap him hard in the face.
Jackson holds onto the side of his face, then knocks Wench back into the corner with a hard forearm shot to the face. Jackson underhooks Wench by the arm and hiptosses her out of the corner, slamming her down onto the mat. The impact is enough to cause Wench to roll out of the ring.MARK BISHOP
Neither competitor wasting any time getting this match going in the early stages of this bout.
JASON MARTEL
I love this aggressive attitude from both wrestlers.Wench tries to catch a breather outside the ring, but Jackson is having none of it as he follows her to the outside, grabbing her by the head and driving her facefirst into the ring apron. Jackson then hooks Wench in a front facelock and snap suplexes her, sending her crashing down onto the floor and her legs hitting the security railing. The ref gets out of the ring, admonishing Jackson and telling him to get the match back into the ring. Jackson responds by holding onto the security railing and stomping away at Wench's left leg before picking her up and rolling her back into the ring. Jackson slides back into the ring, playing it up for the booing crowd. Jackson then goes to pick Wench up, but she pokes him in the eyes, then takes him down with a DDT. She shakes off her leg off from the previous but short work Jackson did to said leg, shaking off the after effects.MARK BISHOP
James Jackson didn't seem to do enough work to Wench's leg as she shakes off his earlier assault on said leg.
JASON MARTEL
That could very well come back to haunt the Modern Day Hero.Wench goes to pick Jackson up and attempts a running bulldog, but Jackson hoists her up and slams her down with a back suplex. Jackson goes for an early cover. ONE... TWO... Wench kicks out. Jackson picks Wench up, whipping her into the ropes as he runs to the ropes on the opposite side. They both rebound off the opposite ropes, and Jackson nails Wench with a running high knee. Jackson then goes to the apron as Wench picks herself up. Jackson springboards off the ropes, attempting a missile dropkick, only for Wench to nail him in the chest with a dropkick of her own, sending Jackson crashing down to the mat as he clutches to his chest, grimacing in pain.MARK BISHOP
As much as I can't stand the son of a bitch, I hope he's not seriously hurt.
JASON MARTEL
Bishop, I'm afraid that the only way Jackson is going to stop fighting is if he's six feet under.Jackson is crawling about, holding his chest as he tries to get up, only for Wench to knock him right back down with a leg drop to the back of the neck. Wench follows with an elbow drop to the back, then turns James Jackson over for a pinfall attempt. ONE... TWO... Jackson kicks out. Before Jackson can get up, Wench grabs him by the head and bangs his head on the canvas several times in succession. Jackson holds the back of his head, grimacing in pain, only for Wench to get up and kick him in the small of the back. Jackson rolls out of the ring as fast as he can, holding the small of his back, only for Wench to run and dive through the ropes, crashing into Jackson, knocking both Jackson and herself into the security railing with a Suicide Dive. Both Wench and Jackson are a bit slow to get up.MARK BISHOP
Both Wench and James Jackson are having a hard time getting up as Wench dove through the ropes, sacrificing herself in the process.
JASON MARTEL
The referee has been very lenient in this match, wanting to insure that we have a winner given what's at stake.Both Wench and Jackson are back up. Wench charges at Jackson, but he picks her up and brings her dow throatfirst onto the security railing as Wench goes down on the floor, holding onto her throat and coughing in the process. Jackson picks Wench up and whips her hard into the ring steps, knocking them over as Wench falls over them as they are made of wood.MARK BISHOP
I thought James Jackson was above using weapons.
JASON MARTEL
He is. Note how he's using technical wrestling ability, and the security railing and the ring steps just happened to be in the way. He can't help that.Jackson backs up as Wench gets up to her knees. Jackson runs toward her and goes for Shining Wizard kick to the head, but Wench ducks as Jackson falls onto the floor, flat on his back. Wench picks Jackson up and makes note of the downed ring steps, then grabs him by the head, runs and slams Jackson down facefirst onto the side of the steps with a running bulldog. Wench picks Jackson up and rolls him back inside the ring, then slides back in herself. Wench picks Jackson up and whips him into the ropes. Jackson rebounds off the ropes and Wench attempts a huracanrana, but Jackson counters with a sitdown powerbomb. ONE... TWO... Wench kicks out. Jackson picks Wench up and goes behind her, locks her in a full nelson, picks her up and slams her down with a Dragon Suplex pin. ONE... TWO... Wench somehow kicks out. Jackson picks Wench up and whips her hard into the corner, knocking her down on into a seated position in the corner. Jackson goes over to the other side of Wench, runs and hits her in the face with a Facewash kick. Jackson takes a second to taunt the audience, drawing some more heat for himself. Jackson then picks Wench up and seats her on the top turnbuckle, hitting her with several forearm shots for good measure. Jackson climbs all the way up to the top turnbuckle as he hooks Wench up, then slams her all the way down off the top turnbuckle with a superplex. The superplex takes a little bit out of Jackson as well as he's a little slow to get up, then he makes the cover. ONE... TWO... Wench gets the shoulder up. Wench turns over, but before she can get back up, Jackson keeps her down and immediately locks her in an STF, causing the crowd to pop as they may see her tap out.MARK BISHOP
Jackson has Wench locked in the STF! He could win the Von Erich Memorial Title right here!
JASON MARTEL
He has her in the middle of the ring, as well! She's going to have no choice but to tap out.
MARK BISHOP
Wench isn't giving up though. She's trying to inch her way over to the ropes.Jackson tries to pull back on the STF, but Wench keeps overpowering him as she inches closer and closer to the ropes. She finally makes it over to the ropes, grabbing onto them as the ref counts to four before Jackson finally lets go. Jackson grabs Wench by the hair, drags her back to the middle of the ring and locks her in a Dragon Sleeper. The ref goes down once again to ask Wench if she gives up, but she refuses as she's able to lift her foot up and kick Jackson in the forehead. She kicks him once more, forcing him to break the hold as he shakes his head, putting the palm of his hand up to his forehead to make sure he's alright. Right as he turns around, Wench grabs him in a bearhug and slams him down with a side belly to belly suplex, then immediately goes for a cover. ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Jackson somehow kicks out. Wench shakes her head and rolls her eyes at the referee, who pleads his case that it was only a two count as Jackson is slow to get up. Wench picks herself up and runs to the ropes. She rebounds off the ropes, but before she can hit any offensive move, Jackson springs up and slams her down hard with an STO out of nowhere!MARK BISHOP
STO from James Jackson, and this could do it as he goes for the pin! ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Wench barely gets the shoulder up in time!
JASON MARTEL
That was a close call there! I bet Matt Margera damn near had a heart attack in the back.Jackson picks Wench up and goes behind her, underhooking her arms. He lifts her up and slams her down with a Tiger Suplex. He doesn't go for a pin but does hold onto her as he picks her up, and delivers a second Tiger Suplex. Again, he holds onto her as he gets back up, and slams her down with a third consecutive Tiger Suplex. Jackson holds on as he picks her up for a fourth Tiger Suplex. Jackson STILL holds on as he gets up and slams her down with a fifth Tiger Suplex. He holds on one last time and slams her down with a sixth Tiger Suplex, this time staying down and holding on for the pin. ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Wench barely kicks out in time.MARK BISHOP
Wench just will not stay down.
JASON MARTEL
The Modern Day Hero has to be getting frustrated by now, wondering to himself "What must I do to put this bitch away?"Wench is rolled over onto her stomach, but before she can get back up, Jackson immediately locks her in a Fujiwara Armbar.JASON MARTEL
Well that's one thing Jackson can do to put Wench away.
MARK BISHOP
Fujiwara Armbar, and again Wench is in the center of the ring!Jackson is pulling back on the Fujiwara Armbar, but Wench is fighting to get back to her feet. Jackson struggles to keep her down on the mat with the Fujiwara Armbar locked in, but Wench is able to fight her way up, rake Jackson in the eyes, then picks him up and slams him down onto the mat with a Sidewalk Slam, then goes for a cover. ONE... TWO... Jackson gets the shoulder up. Wench gets up and picks Jackson up, whipping him into the ropes. Jackson rebounds off the ropes, and this time Wench is able to bring him down with the huracanrana. Wench gets back up and walks over to the corner, climbing up to the top turnbuckle as she measures Jackson, who's down in the center of the ring. Wench takes a breath as she's crouched on the top turnbuckle, stands herself up, then comes flying off the top turnbuckle, crashing down onto Jackson with a Five Star Frog Splash. The impact of the splash sends Wench off of Jackson as she holds onto her ribs, grimacing in pain. She shakes it off and goes for the cover. ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Jackson somehow, some way gets the shoulder up as the look of disbelief on Wench's face says it all.MARK BISHOP
Wench can't believe herself as she only gets a two count off the Five Star Frog Splash!
JASON MARTEL
This has been like an old school hockey game that goes into multiple overtimes into the wee hours of the morning in the playoffs, back before that homo ruined the NHL.
MARK BISHOP
Oh great, now not only will Sarah Palin be coming after us, but those homos in GLAAD will be coming after us.
JASON MARTEL
We'll be getting it from both sides!
MARK BISHOP
Good lord.Wench picks herself back up as Jackson is slow to get to his feet. Wench runs and hops up onto the top turnbuckle, springboards off and attempts a Whisper in the Wind, but Jackson ducks down onto the mat as Wench overshoots him, crashing and burning onto the canvas. Wench winces in pain as she picks herself up. Meanwhile, Jackson runs the ropes, rebounds and nails Wench right as she turns around with a vicious Yakuza Kick. Jackson says that's it and goes for the cover. ONE... TWO... Wench gets the shoulder up, and now Jackson can't believe it. Jackson picks Wench up and whips her into the ropes. He goes for a clothesline as she rebounds off the ropes, but she ducks the clothesline. Jackson turns around and Wench catches him flush in the jaw with a Benihana superkick out of nowhere as Jackson falls down on his back like an oak tree. Wench seizes the opportunity and goes for the cover. ONE... TWO... THR-NO, NOT YET!MARK BISHOP
How in the world was James Jackson able to kick out of the Benihana?!
JASON MARTEL
I don't even know!Wench is now yelling at the referee, arguing that it was a three count, but the ref insists it was a two count. Jackson barely gets up and rolls Wench up, pulling down her shorts in the process and giving the audience a full moon in the process as they cheer loudly. ONE... TWO... Wench kicks out, pushing Jackson off of her from the roll up. Wench realizes her shorts are down, exposing her butt to the viewing audience, and she quickly pulls them back up. This allows her to get distracted and not see Jackson come up from behind and pick her up by the waist, slamming her down with a German Suplex. ONE... TWO... THREE!MARK BISHOP
We have a new Von Erich Memorial Champion!
MONICA DELUCA
Your winner, and new Von Erich Memorial...
JASON MARTEL
Wait a second, what's the ref doing here?
MARK BISHOP
He just told Monica to stop with the announcement.The ref, who saw that both of Jackson's shoulders were down and that Wench one of her shoulders up, raises Wench's hand in victory as disbelief washes over the face of James Jackson. He's so stunned that he just can't do anything while the ref explains the outcome to Monica. She nods her head as the ref hands the belt over to Wench outside the ring, and she hoists it up in the air, sticking her tongue out at Jackson while "Awake and Alive" booms over the speakers. Matt Margera runs down the aisle and lifts Wench up in a big hug from behind, turns her around, and proceeds to make out with her.MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen, the referee has informed me of the following. When James Jackson had Wench pinned with the German Suplex, both of Jackson's shoulders were down. However, one of Wench's shoulders were up, and as you all know, the SNW Rulebook states that if one wrestler's shoulders are both down, and the other has one shoulder up, the wrestler with one shoulder up wins the match. Therefore, your winner and new Von Erich Memorial Champion, Wench!
MARK BISHOP
I can't stand either one of these two, but they gave us one hell of a main event tonight!
JASON MARTEL
And once again, Wench has wears the Von Erich Memorial Championship!
MARK BISHOP
One can only imagine the aftermath of tonight's main event. Fans, remember, next Saturday night at Midnight here on the CW, we come to you live from Duke's Original Roadhouse for Guys Night Out. Until next time, for Jason Martel, this is Mark Bishop saying stay hard, keep jammin' and we'll see ya!
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