Saturday Night Onslaught: 3/6/10

[Hollywood]

In a dark match before the show:
-Levetation def. Aaron Champion via pinfall after slamming Champion with the Razor's Edge.

"Psycho Circus" plays in the background as the camera pans down into an abandoned warehouse. We see random people running everywhere as various SNW wrestlers on the roster duke it out wherever they can pick a fight, with explosions going off all around them. Meanwhile, we see various past SNW highlights played on various drum barrells and walls, with the show open ending with a big melee with all of SNW's best inside a ring, again with explosions going off.



The camera shot switches to inside the Gordietorium, where a sellout crowd of 3,524 are jam packed, screaming their heads off and holding up any signs that they have.

LIVE FROM THE GORDIETORIUM! FT. WORTH, TX!

Bob Sturm is standing inside the ring, along with Wench, as "Awake and Alive" is playing over the PA.

MARK BISHOP
Welcome to Saturday Night Onslaught, from the jam packed Gordietorium in Downtown Fort Worth! It's the last show before WrestleStock II!

JASON MARTEL
And what a way to kick off Saturday Night Onslaught! Bob Sturm inside the ring to interview the Von Erich Memorial Champion, Wench!

MARK BISHOP
Let's take it to the Sturminator!

Wench's music dies down as Bob Sturm begins the interview.

BOB STURM
Uhh, let's not waste any, uhh, time here as we welcome the two time Von Erich Memorial Champion and lovely wife of Matt Margera... Wench!

BOOOOOOOOO!!!

BOB STURM
Now Wench, the last time you had the, uhh, Von Erich Memorial Championship belt, which if I, uhh, remember correctly you had beaten Super Vader to win that belt... Anyway... oh, and let's not forget that when you had the belt, you had it for a period of about two months... But back to my, uhh, point here... Are you ready for the challenge that awaits you at WrestleStock II when you face a man who's desperate to win his first SNW championship belt in "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels?

WENCH
It took you that long to get that question out? Maybe you need to go learn how to speak without saying uh about every, uh, word. But to answer your uh question, yes I'm ready. I've already beaten Alex once in the tournament to get a shot at the title and I will beat him again. You see, I plan on holding this title for more than two months now that I have regained it and I'm not going to let some superhero name wannabe take it from me. No matter how bad he wants to hold gold, I have regained it and I want to keep it more.

BOB STURM
Now, uhh, I understand that, uhh, Super Vader, who you and your husband, Matt Margera, took out on Guys Night Out awhile back... Anyway, he has been rehabbing and is getting ready to, uhh, make a comeback. Are you at all worried about having to, uhh, look over your shoulder as it were?

WENCH
Do I look worried? Do I look like I'm looking over my shoulder? Are you really that stupid or can you just not talk right? No, I'm not worried. Not in the tiniest bit.

BOB STURM
Well, uhh, and I'm not saying that you can't defend yourself because I know you can, and you've always got Matt Margera to watch your back. But what I'm, uhh, getting at is that you have to be a little bit apprehensive about Super Vader coming back, seeing as that, uhh, you and Matt were the ones that placed him on the shelf and forced him to vacate the Von Erich Memorial Title that you now hold.

WENCH
Will you stop babbling and listen?!

Out of nowhere, Wench superkicks Bob and picks up the mic.

WENCH
I'm not worried about Alex! I will retain my title at WrestleStock! And, I'm not worried about Super Vader! Period!

Wench throws the mic down and storms out of the ring as "Awake and Alive" blasts over the PA.

MARK BISHOP
Wench, sending a pretty loud and clear message, superkicking the Sturminator.

JASON MARTEL
I like Sturm and all, but he should've known better than to provoke the Von Erich Memorial Champion.

Shot switches to Alex Daniel's locker room, where he see him getting ready as he's lacing up his boots.

MARK BISHOP
Well coming up next, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels takes on Cyanide!

SNW '10! GET YOUR COPY EARLY AT WRESTLESTOCK II! IF YOU CAN'T BE AT WRESTLESTOCK II, DON'T FEAR AS THE GAME OFFICIALLY HITS STORE SHELVES MONDAY NIGHT, 3/30/10 AT MIDNIGHT AT ALL END GAME LOCATIONS! AVAILABLE FOR XBOX 360, PLAYSTATION 3, AND NINTENDO WII! EA SPORTS... IT'S IN THE GAME!

[Hollywood]

"Cyanide" by Metallica booms over the PA system as the Gordietorium is bathed with green lighting and the entrance fills with smoke. Cyanide walks out from behind the curtain as the crowd goes crazy, cheering him on.

MONICA DELUCA
The following contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from San Jose, California and weighing 225 lbs... Cyanide!

MARK BISHOP
It's been quite some time since Cyanide has seen singles competition here in SNW.

JASON MARTEL
Cyanide may have singles experience, but it's been so long since he's wrestled as a singles competitor that I'm afraid he may try looking to tag out, then when he realizes it, it'll be too late.

Cyanide slaps hands with some of the fans while trying to stay focused for his match. He slides into the ring as the lighting goes back to normal and his music dies down. "Superhero" blasts over the PA, and the fans boo their lungs out as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels appears from behind the curtain. He ignores the heckling as he walks down to the ring with a smug look on his face.

MONICA DELUCA
His opponent, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and weighing 220 lbs, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

MARK BISHOP
The number one contender to the Von Erich Memorial Championship taking on one half of the number one contenders to the Texas Tag Team Championship.

JASON MARTEL
Like I said, Cyanide is too used to being in tag team situations that I don't think he'll fare too well against Kid Thunder.

Kid Thunder strolls down to ringside, slides into the ring, and holds out his arms, shouting at the crowd before taking off his entrance attire.

Cyanide vs Alex Daniels

Kid Thunder took Cyanide lightly going into the match, which gave Cyanide the upper hand early on in the bout as he knocked Kid Thunder around with a variation of stiff kicks, and opened up some red welts on Kid Thunder's chest with a series of stiff knife edge chops in the corner. Cyanide tried to get Kid Thunder to submit after locking him in the Eastern Stretch, but Kid Thunder refused as he worked his way back up and broke up the hold with a reverse jawbreaker, which shifted momentum into Kid Thunder's favor as he worked Cyanide over for several minutes with his technical wrestling ability. After a series of snap suplexes and a back suplex, Kid Thunder picked Cyanide up and slammed him down with a scoop bodyslam, then signaled to the crowd that he was going to the top turnbuckle, prompting them to boo him out of the building. Kid Thunder mounted the top turnbuckle, signaled for the end, and came flying down with a flying elbow drop. But Cyanide rolled out of the way as Kid Thunder crashed onto the canvas, holding his elbow as he writhed in agony. Cyanide went to work on Kid Thunder, working over his arm. Cyanide then looked to finish Kid Thunder off with the Pure Poison. But upon lifting him up, Kid Thunder's legs accidentally hit referee Danny Travers, knocking him down and out as Cyanide slammed Kid Thunder down with the Pure Poison. Realizing there was no referee, Cyanide tried to help him up, and that's when trouble arrived. The Young Gunz stormed the ring. Cyanide got distracted as he saw Samuel Hale jumping to the top turnbuckle, only for Marcus Ryan to knock Cyanide down with a clothesline to the back of the head. Ryan then picked Cyanide up and drove him down with the Snow Monkey Slaughter, followed up by Samuel Hale hitting Cyanide with a Corkscrew Leg Drop as Mark Bishop screamed on the telecast: "GUNZ BLAZIN! SOMEONE DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS!" Soul Reaper ran down to the ring, only to get knocked out with a big boot by Ryan. Both Ryan and Hale got out of dodge as soon as they could as Kid Thunder came to and saw Cyanide down. Kid Thunder wasted no time in picking Cyanide up and driving him down with the Thunderbolt. Referee Danny Travers finally got up and slowly made the three count as Kid Thunder covered Cyanide. ONE... TWO... THREE!

MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

MARK BISHOP
What a miscarriage of justice!

JASON MARTEL
A win's a win, Bishop!

MARK BISHOP
It's a tainted win, Jason, and you know it! Right now, let's take it to Misty Crawford, who's standing by with Xander Nova.

Shot opens in front of Y Kores locker room door, where Misty Crawford is standing by to interview Xander Nova.

MISTY CRAWFORD
I'm here with the manager of Y Kores, Xander Nova. Xander, at WrestleStock II, you have been ordered to get back into the ring for an eight person tag team match against Coach Tom Foolery and the Sports Authority. Are you at all worried about getting back into the ring, given your back and neck injuries that forced you into retirement?

XANDER NOVA
I vas ordered to wrestle one more time, yes. But I don't back down from adversity. I vill be more than happy to team up vith my female charges at WrestleStock II to finally get the better of the Sports Authority, vonce and for all.

MISTY CRAWFORD
And your thoughts going into the six person tag tonight?

XANDER NOVA
Misty, my dear, the Sports Authority vill be vishing they never pushed my ladies to the point they're at right now. They've been backed up against a vall, and now must fight back by any means necessary, stooping to the level of the Sports Authority. Tonight, my ladies plan on evening the score up at 2-2. Then at WrestleStock II, we plan on vinning the series, 3-2. And there's nothing those jocks can do about it.

WRESTLESTOCK II! LIVE, MARCH 27 FROM COWBOYS STADIUM IN ARLINGTON, TX! 7 PM EST/6 PM CST, ONLY ON PPV!

[Hollywood]

"Ecstasy of Gold" plays over the PA speakers, and the fans boo in unison as "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath leads the Sports Nutz down to the ring. George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller have their trademark bags of peanuts with them, and hurl the peanuts at the rabid fans.

MARK BISHOP
Welcome back to Saturday Night Onslaught, and it appears that we're about to find out who the Sports Nutz will have as their lumberjacks for the tag team lumberjack match at WrestleStock II when they face Eddy and Twitch, the Alley Ratz.

JASON MARTEL
I for one can't wait to find out just who their lumberjacks are.

Gordie and the Sports Nutz enter the ring, with Gordie asking Monica Deluca for the mic, to which she obliges.

GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great pleasure that the Sports Nutz will be returning to active competition effective March 27 in 2010, the year of our sweet, clean Lord and Savior, Matt Marger... I mean Jesus Christ. Now with George and Craig returning to active competition, they will be required to resign their administrative positions, effective immediately.

George and Craig nod their heads in approval, as it's apparent they had already agreed to this.

GORDIE
Now while the bi-laws of Sports Nutz Wrestling state that a person with administrative powers may wrestle for a special occasion, they cannot be consistent, active competitors. The Sports Nutz have decided to become active competitors, therefore, they are resigning their administrative positions. HOWEVER... Nowhere in the bi-laws does it state that someone that's in a position of power cannot be a manager or valet. Therefore, I will continue to be the manager of the Sports Nutz and will be at ringside to oversee their matches to make sure that they do not suffer any injustices.

MARK BISHOP
Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.

JASON MARTEL
Sir! The pot and kettle only happen to be black!

Gordie hands the mic off to George.

DUNPORK
Now at WrestleStock II, we take on two crackheads in the form of the Alley Ratz. Now Eddy and Twitch like to fly around like a couple of circus acrobats, especially if it means they can fly out of the ring. Well there won't be any of that as there will be lumberjacks stationed outside the ring. Now to be fair, we will allow the Alley Ratz to have their own handpicked lumberjacks. But right now, we want to introduce the lumberjacks that Craig, Gordie and I have hand selected. Now I will hand the floor over to Craig, who will introduce the lumberjacks.

George hands the mic off to Craig as the Monday Night Football theme booms over the PA. The music plays throughout the whole cheesy introduction.

CRAIG MUELLER
Ladies and gentlemen, YOUR STARTING LINEUP FOR YOUR SPORTS NUTZ! First, he was selected ninth overall in the 1996 NBA Draft by the Dallas Mavericks. He knows what it's like to win a championship as he was part of the 2001/2002 NBA Champions, the Los Angeles Lakers. He's 6' 9" and 250 lbs... Ladies and gentlemen, Samaki Walker!

The fans boo as Samaki Walker jogs down to the ring. He walks up the ring steps, then steps over the ropes, entering the ring, and high fives the Sports Nutz and Gordie, chest-bumping George, Craig and Gordie.

CRAIG MUELLER
Next up, he's a former Major League Baseball great that never needed steroids! He was better than half the no-stars that played in the Major League Baseball All Star Game every year of his career, but was shunned every year because he wasn't a New York Yankee or Boston Red Sock. In 1994, he was robbed of the Rookie of the Year Award by Bob Hamelin of the Kansas City Royals only because Hamelin was a novelty act as a fatass that wore glasses, only for Hamelin to go on to a career of anonymity, proving that Major League Baseball has no clue how to market their true stars. He's better than a buffet at Bonanza! Rusty Greer!

Rusty jogs down to the ring, and actually gets a big pop from the crowd as they apparently listen to Sportsradio 1310 the Ticket, a station that Greer is very familiar with. He gets into the ring and high fives Gordie, the Sports Nutz, and Samaki Walker.

CRAIG MUELLER
Speaking of baseball players that never needed steroids, this man was framed by Major League Baseball because they didn't want an ordinary man like him having Barry Bonds' or Mark McGwire's home run records! They succeeded in getting him out of the game, but they will soon pay as he looks to exact his revenge! Ladies and gentlemen, former Texas Ranger great, Rafael Palmeiro!

The boos, catcalls and obscenities are pouring down faster than heavy rain as Palmeiro arrogantly struts down to the ring with a big smirk on his face.

JASON MARTEL
Haha! I knew I wouldn't be disappointed with the lumberjacks for the Sports Nutz!

MARK BISHOP
Craig Mueller is a liar! He knows damn well that Palmeiro is a steroid pusher! Does he not remember when he injected former WCE wrestler Frankenstein Man with steroids and Viagra at WCE One Night Stand back in 2005?!

Palmeiro enters the ring, bro-hugging everyone inside the ring.

MARK BISHOP(sounding very condescending)
Bro hugging. Give me a break!

JASON MARTEL
Hey, they're just happy to see each other.

CRAIG MUELLER
Next up is a man who was quickly working his way up the ranks in WWE until he was fired because he refused to lay down for a woman. Last time anybody had heard of him was back at WCE One Night Stand 2005 at the old PCW Arena in Arlington, Texas, where he was working as the janitor for the arena. The PCW Arena was also, sadly, his home because he had lost his house. He has now found himself a home at the Dunpork and Mueller House, living with candy obsessed foreign exchange student, Nigel, who himself was kicked out of the Dunham and Miller House. Ladies and gentlemen, Ahmed Johnson!

Johnson lumbers down to the ring to a mixed reaction from the crowd. He tries to hop onto the ring apron, forgetting that he's no spring chicken as he trips and falls down on his ass on the floor, causing the fans to laugh their asses off. He shoots up, sneering at the ringside fans that are taunting him, even going so far as to approach one of them up close and verbally threaten the fan with assault before finally turning around and entering the ring. You can hear Rusty Greer off camera say "He fell on his fucking ass," which somehow gets glossed over.

MARK BISHOP
Oh dear. Ahmed Johnson just can't seem to catch a break these days.

JASON MARTEL
He's doing better than you, buddy. I don't see you getting invited over to the Dunpork and Mueller House.

CRAIG MUELLER
And finally, rounding out the starting lineup for the Sports Nutz. This man could've been a great Hall of Fame NFL quarterback had it not been for racism running rampant! After Jerry Jones had told Dallas Cowboys fans that he was the "shiznit," Jerry would just up and release him for no reason. Ladies and gentlemen, the quarterback for our lumberjacks at WrestleStock II, Tony Banks!

Tony Banks jogs down to the ring as the fans boo him out of the Gordietorium.

MARK BISHOP
Tony Banks?! Seriously, THAT Tony Banks?!

JASON MARTEL
C'mon, man! Tony Banks is the shiznit!

MARK BISHOP
Oh please!

GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, our lumberjacks for WrestleStock II!

The fans boo their lungs out as Gordie, the Sports Nutz, and their lumberjacks all hold their hands up in the air, grinning from ear to ear, taunting the fans.

DUNPORK'S HOUSE OF BACON! NOW OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY, 7 DAYS A WEEK! REMEMBER, THE MENU JUST SAYS FRIES!

[Hollywood]

"My Time" screeches over the sound system, and the fans boo as S.T. Strickler walks out from the backstage area to the catcalls and boos of the fans. Hands on hips, he struts down the aisle towards the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring from Winchester, Virginia. Weighing in at 180 lbs., "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler!

Strickler climbs through the second ropes, and bounces in as his much larger opponent is almost cowering in his own corner.

MONICA DELUCA
His opponent already in the ring from Santa Fe, New Mexico. Weighing in at 241 lbs., Chief Wahoo McNugget!

MARK BISHOP
The grandson of Chief Wahoo McDaniel, McNugget has not had nearly the success of his famous grandfather.

JASON MARTEL
Well don't worry, S.T. Strickler will not allow for tradition to be broken at this point.

MARK BISHOP
I had to hand Wahoo something, he is much bigger than Strickler so that might be a bit of an advantage.

JASON MARTEL
Has that worked out for him in the past?

MARK BISHOP
Well...no.

JASON MARTEL
Then you can't expect it to work today.

"The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler vs. Chief Wahoo McNugget.
The bell rang, and the two men went face to face. McNugget backed up, and started doing some sort of Indian victory dance. Strickler stares at McNugget for a moment with a cocked head, before flattening him with a clothesline. McNugget staggers up, and walks right into a Dragon Whip kick by Strickler. As McNugget laid out cold on the mat, Strickler locked in an ankle lock which quickly forced him to tap out and end the match.

[/i]

MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler!

MARK BISHOP
Well, Wahoo McNugget tried to summon up some courage and strength, but S.T. Strickler had other plans.

JASON MARTEL
That's right, he just whooped ass all over the place. Sent that man back to the Trail of Tears.

MARK BISHOP
That is the most callous response reponse sir.

JASON MARTEL
Shut up whitey.

MARK BISHOP
Pot, meet kettle.

Shot switches to the backstage area in front of the Saturday Night Onslaught banner, where Brenda Price is standing by with the Alley Ratz.

BRENDA PRICE
Brenda Price here, and later on I'll be heading over to the SNW Control Room for the WrestleStock II Report. But right now, on the subject of WrestleStock II, I'm joined by Eddy and Twitch, the Alley Ratz. First off, guys, Zippy the Clown is conspicuous by his absence.

EDDY
Yeah, I heard he was sitting out some traffic tickets and unpaid child support.

BRENDA PRICE
Anyway... Upon hearing who the Sports Nutz have lined up to be their lumberjacks, can you tell us who you're countering with?

TWITCH
Damn straight we can. You see, the problem with the lumberjacks that the Sports Nutz picked is that age is not on their side, which is also true of the Sports Nutz themselves. We're younger and faster, whereas our lumberjacks are younger... well, most of them anyway... and stronger. Guys!

Into the camera shot walk the Gambler, Super Vader(who's now just using a knee brace), Killer Kong, the Mauler, and Mike "Beastman" Hanson.

BRENDA PRICE
Hey now, looks like you guys have trumped the Sports Nutz!

THE GAMBLER
Trumped is an understatement, Brenda. You see, while the Sports Nutz and their band of washed up never weres have a Full House, we have the Royal Flush. And we plan on flushing those never weres down the crapper.

The Gambler, Destruction Crew and Alley Ratz walk off the set as the show fades to commercial.

THE UNTICKET, FOR WHEN YOU CAN'T BE BY THE CHANNEL OR WHEN YOU JUST NEED TO LIVE IT AGAIN! WWW.THEUNTICKET.COM[/center]

[Hollywood]

The NFL on FOX theme blasts over the PA as Coach Tom Foolery appears from behind the curtain, blowing his whistle rather loudly, agitating an already hostile crowd that is booing him loudly. Manny Saul(decked out in his professor's robe and holding his Dean's Mace), Vinny Appice(wearing his Sports Authority track suit), and Tony Manzetti(wearing a black baseball Jersey with "Manzetti" on the back and carrying a black baseball bat) make their way from behind the curtain, walking out in front of Coach Tom Foolery, who jogs behind them.

MONICA DELUCA
The following is a six person tag team match set for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Coach Tom Foolery, the team of "Intellectual" Manny Saul, Vinny Appice and Tony Manzetti... the Sports Authority!

MARK BISHOP
At WrestleStock II, this fierce rivalry comes to a head as Coach Tom Foolery teams with the Sports Authority to take on Xander Nova and Y Kores.

JASON MARTEL
That is if Y Kores make it past tonight's match up after the Sports Authority get through with them.

The Sports Authority members enter the ring, huddle in the middle of the ring, spin in the huddle, break and then climb the turnbuckles, gesturing at the hostile crowd that continues to heckle them. They hop down and get ready for the match as their music dies down. "You Better Pray" booms over the PA as Xander Nova leads Y Kores down to the ring. Adriana Samu comes bouncing out with Rory Kotch on one side, and Petrina Rotchester on the other.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents, accompanied by Xander Nova... the team of "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu, "The Assassin" Rory Kotch, and "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester... Y Kores!

MARK BISHOP
Y Kores have promised to stoop down to the level of the Sports Authority in order to gain the upper hand in this rivalry.

JASON MARTEL
So what you're saying is that Y Kores are hypocrites.

MARK BISHOP
No, I'm saying they're fighting fire with fire.

Y Kores slap hands with the fans on their way down to the ring. Adriana jumps up onto the apron and then onto the turnbuckle facing the fans while Petrina and Rory pose on either side of her on the apron, then all three enter the ring.

Y Kores vs Sports Authority

Referee Mike Croft had a hard time maintaining control from the get go as the match started off as an all out brawl with all six wrestlers duking it out inside the ring before Y Kores all hit dropkicks on all three Sports Authority members, sending them to the outside. The Sports Authority regrouped and huddled around Coach Tom Foolery to devise a gameplan, only for Adriana Samu to run and crash onto all four men with a somersault plancha that cleared the top rope. After the Sports Authority recovered, the match proceeded with Samu and Manny Saul in the ring. Manny would turn the tide back into his team's favor as Samu missed a Twisting Splash off the top turnbuckle when Saul rolled out of the way. Saul worked Samu over with a sequence of high impact offense starting off with a Snake Eyes onto the top turnbuckle, followed by a Three Point Stance into a clothesline, then finished off with the Big Swing by Saul that dizzied Saul as well, forcing him to tag out to Vinny Appice. Appice proceeded to work over Samu, as did Tony Manzetti, with Appice and Manzetti working well as a team, making frequent tags in and out of the ring. Vinny Appice went for the coup de grace as he flew from the top turnbuckle and attempted to land his Cement Shoes finisher on Samu, but Samu got out of the way as Appice crashed and burned. Samu made the tag to Petrina Rotchester, who went to work on all three Sports Authority members. The match once again became a donneybrook as all six wrestlers brawled with each other. Coach Tom Foolery tried to climb onto the ring apron, only for Xander Nova to run around to his side of the ring and tackle Coach Tom Foolery off the apron, punching away at him on the ground. With the ref distracted, yelling at Nova to get off Foolery, Rory Kotch blasted Tony Manzetti with her pipe, then went for the cover. Nova got off Foolery, and referee Mike Croft turned around to see Kotch pinning Manzetti as Samu and Rotchester both knocked Saul and Appice out of the ring. The ref had forgotten who the legal teammates were and counted the 1-2-3 as the fans erupted with a huge pop for Y Kores.

MONICA DELUCA
Your winners of the match, Y Kores!

MARK BISHOP
This could be a preview of things to come at WrestleStock II.

JASON MARTEL
Now THAT'S a miscarriage of justice, Bishop! Kotch and Manzetti weren't the legal wrestlers!

MARK BISHOP
Hey, Jason, a win's a win, right?

JASON MARTEL
Oh shut up!

MARK BISHOP
Let's take it to Brenda Price with the WrestleStock Report!



WrestleMania" by Jim Johnston is playing in the background as the camera shot switches to the SNW Control Room, with Brenda Price standing in front of dozens of TV monitors showing action from SNW's past. Brenda Price is standing by as the music plays in the background while she announces the matches for the WrestleStock II card.

BRENDA PRICE
This is it! Only three weeks away from the biggest wrestling show in the state of Texas as WrestleStock II descends upon the Death Star, Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas on Saturday night, March 27, and the only way to the see this spectacular is on PPV at 7 PM Eastern, 6 PM Central! And don't forget that in two weeks on the CW Network at 7 PM Central will be the Sportys from Bob's Steak and Chophouse in Downtown Fort Worth, down in the midst of Sundance Square. Don't forget that you can cast your votes for the Sportys, recognizing the achievements of everyone in SNW throughout the year of 2009. Who's your vote for Wrestler of the Year? Most Popular? Most Hated? Match of the Year? Broadcaster of the Year? Hint, hint, wink, wink. Vote now on SNW.com!

Mark and Jason will have more about the Sportys later, but right now, let's talk about this spectacular card that has been lined up for WrestleStock II. First, the main event headlining the show. The Lucifer's Last Stand Match, where a ladder will be inside an open air steel cage that surrounds the entire ring, and the only way to win is to climb the ladder and grab both the Texas Heavyweight Championship and Bad Blood Championship. That's right, it is champion vs. champion, title for title as "The Dream" Chris Angel puts his Bad Blood Title on the line against "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews, who will be putting his Texas Heavyweight Title on the line. And get this! SNW co-owner Codi Shane has mandated that if ANYONE on the SNW roster even just comes down to ringside for this match, they will be FIRED on the spot! Not only that, but now Myke Rhines has been barred from ringside! Now we will truly see who the best man will be at the end of the night.

Also on tap for WrestleStock II, the Von Erich Memorial Title will be on the line as Wench takes on "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels. Now Alex has been on quite a tear here in 2010, and is bound and determined to finally win championship gold in SNW, though one must wonder if he'll remember that the name of the belt is the Von Erich MEMORIAL Title, not just Von Erich Title. On the flip side, Wench plans on keeping the Von Erich Memorial Title the last time she held onto it. Something's gotta give here folks.

The Texas Tag Team Titles go on the line as the current champions, Samuel Hale and Marcus "The Storm" Ryan of the Young Gunz, take on Soul Reaper and Cyanide, who comprise Death Sentence. We saw how the Young Gunz cost Cyanide his match against Alex Daniels, and for weeks, the Young Gunz have been antagonizing Death Sentence. Will Death Sentence finally exact justice on the Young Gunz? Or will the Young Gunz find yet another way to outsmart the boys from California?

The Hatfields and McCoys... the New York Rangers and New Jersey Devils... the Freebirds and Von Erichs... the Texas Rangers and Oakland Athletics... they've got nothing on this feud as Xander Nova teams up with Y Kores in an eight person tag team match, taking on Coach Tom Foolery and the Sports Authority in what is now going to be the rubber match between these two factions.

Ladders? We don't need them! It's the Balance of Power Scaffold Match, where in order to win, you must climb the scaffold and grab the briefcase that contains a contract for a shot at the Texas Heavyweight Championship that can be cashed in at any time for up to a year. Taking part in this match that can become most dangerous with the potential for bodies to go sailing off the scaffolding will be Versus Vince, Andy Lionheart, Jack Clinton, James Jackson, Matt Margera, and Tyler Guevara. Just which one of these six men will be able to climb the scaffold and grab that briefcase, making themselves a number one contender for the Texas Championship any time they see fit? Will any of these six men take a nasty plunge off the scaffolding? We'll find out in three weeks.

In a tag team lumberjack match, the Sports Nutz take on the Alley Ratz, and we now know who the lumberjacks for both teams are. For the Sports Nutz, it will be Gordon Heath, former NBA basketball player Samaki Walker, former Major League Baseball players Rafael Palmeiro and Rusty Greer, wrestling veteran Ahmed Johnson, and former NFL quarterback, Tony Banks. Representing the Alley Ratz will be Zippy the Clown, the Gambler, Super Vader, Killer Kong, the Mauler and Mike "Beastman" Hanson. You can bet that it will be hell to pay for anybody that dares to go outside the ring. And to think this match came about over the Sports Nutz getting their panties in a wad over a couple of letters read on Zippy's Mailbag.

In a no disqualification three way dance, where in order to win, both of your opponents must be pinned or made to submit, it will be Levetation vs. "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler vs. Syco Boy. Now recently, S.T. Strickler, has been making reference to an "insurance policy" that he will have at WrestleStock. Just what is this "insurance policy" that he's referring to?

And last week on Guys Night Out, you saw Chris P. make an open challenge, and Alexander Draven accepted. These two go at it one on one at WrestleStock II at Cowboys Stadium.

Now last week we announced the appearance of celebrities at WrestleStock II. Appearing at WrestleStock will be recording artist Kanye West, wrestling legend Ron Simmons, and Super Bowl MVP from the New Orleans Saints, Drew Brees! Folks, don't wait till the last minute! Call your cable or satellite provider and order WrestleStock II, Saturday night, March 27 on PPV!

THE RECONSIDER LOUNGE! FEATURING THE MUSICAL PERFORMANCES OF THE JACK OFFICERS, SHART WEEK, AND OTHER GREAT LOCAL ACTS, LOCATED IN DOWNTOWN DALLAS!

[Hollywood]

"Kashmir" blares over the PA, and the fans boo lustily as James Jackson storms out from the back. He angrily pounds the aisle with his feet as he walks to the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following is an eight person tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Team #1 first, making his way to the ring from Los Angeles, California. Weighing in at 220 lbs., James Jackson!

Jackson climbs through the ropes as "Enter Sandman" plays over the speakers and the fans cheer for Jack Clinton and Chris P. as they come out. They exchange hand slaps with the fans as Jackson stares and shakes his head.

MONICA DELUCA
His partners first, at a combined weight of 615 lbs., Jack Clinton and Chris P.!

Clinton and Chris step over the top ropes to join their partner Jackson who looks hostile at them. "Enter Sandman" fades down and "Not Dancing, Wanna Know Why?" booms over the PA, and the fans resume booing as Matt Margera storms out with a wild look on his face to the aisle.

MONICA DELUCA
From Hurst, Texas. Weighing in at 220 lbs., Matt Margera!

Margera swings his horse cane down the ramp, and rolls into the ring. His partners all stare at him, as he hands the cane to the timekeeper over the top rope.

MARK BISHOP
We are getting a sneak peak of WrestleStock here tonight folks, as most of the competitors in this match will also be in the Balance of Power match at WrestleStock.

JASON MARTEL
And one of those men will walk away with a shot at whoever the Texas Champion is after WrestleStock for up to one year.

MARK BISHOP
This is an unheard of match here in SNW, and needless to say someone is going to get a golden opportunity on our biggest stage. Conceivably they could hold onto the opportunity and use it to headline WrestleStock next year as well.

JASON MARTEL
Certainly, and if that homo Chris Angel wins at WrestleStock we might need the winner to cash in that very night.

"American Lab Rat" blares over the sound system, and the fans continue to boo as Tyler Guevara steps out from the back. His massive frame storms down the aisle among the hisses and catcalls.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents first from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at 200 lbs., "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

Guevara hoists his massive leg over the top rope as "You Can Run" plays over the PA. Versus Vince sprints out from the back, and streaks down the aisle slapping hands with the fans.

MONICA DELUCA
His partners first from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Weighing in at 195 lbs., Versus Vince!

Vince slides under the bottom rope into the ring and stares down the much larger Guevara as "This War Is Ours" screeches over the PA. Andy Lionheart comes speeding out of the backstage area and down the ring, not stopping until he slide into the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
From Kemi, Finland weighing in at 210 lbs., "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart!

Lionheart also stares at Guevara with Vince, as "Requiem" booms over the sound system as Alexander Draven forcefully walks out from the back. He struts down the aisle with a dominating manner. He puts both hands on the top rope and climbs into the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
From Lowestoft, England. Weighing in at 260 lbs., Alexander Draven!

MARK BISHOP
Putting aside that Chris P and Alexander Draven will not be apart of the match at WrestleStock, could this be a good measure of what we can expect during our date with the Deathstar?

JASON MARTEL
Well that's very subjective. Some do well when the bright lights are on, some wither under pressure. There's no real telling, but whoever comes out the victor here tonight you would think has a momentum boost.

MARK BISHOP
You've got relative newcomers like Versus Vince, and savvy veterans like Jack Clinton and Matt Margera. Who are you looking for to make an impact during this match?

JASON MARTEL
I gotta say, two guys I'm going to keep my eyes on are James Jackson and Matt Margera. Jackson could easily have been the Texas Champion if not for a very unfortunate incident after 4 Up last year. He might take this opportunity to make up for it. Matt Margera could be looking to add gold to the family, as Wench is the Von Erich Memorial Champion right now as well.

James Jackson, Jack Clinton, Chris P., and Matt Margera vs. "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara, Versus Vince, "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart, and Alexander Draven.
The match started with Versus Vince and James Jackson in the ring for their respective teams, and Jackson went to town on the young rookie. Vince's speed couldn't match with Jackson's overall ability, as the former Bad Blood Champion flung Vince all over the ring with various suplexes. Jackson at one point hit a German suplex, but Andy Lionheart slapped Vince on the back as he went through the air and constituted a tag. Jackson didn't see the tag, and turned around right as Lionheart landed Atonement and got a two count. Lionheart takes control, and kept Jackson on his heels until he tagged Margera to come in and spell him. Margera matched well with Lionheart, matching him move for move, and eventually taking control when Lionheart ran into an Exploder suplex. Seeing enough after Margera whipped Lionheart into the corner, Guevara tagged himself in and clothesline Margera when he tried to run over Lionheart in the corner. Margera saw the looming figure of Guevara, and quickly backpeddled to his corner and slapped Jack Clinton across the chest to tag out. Clinton cast a stare Margera's way, and stepped inside the ring to face Guevara. The two went chest to chest, before Clinton hauled off and clotheslined Guevara. This continued for a couple moments, until Guevara shocked the world and nailed a spinning heel kick that sent Clinton staggering backwards. Guevara scrambled to tag Alexander Draven, who came in. Clinton got up slowly, and Jackson tagged himself in and went in to face Draven. Clinton did not take kindly to this, grabbing Jackson by the arm. The two exchanged heated words, before Draven came over and clotheslined both men down. This infuriated Chris P., who came through the ropes and hit Draven with a big boot. After this all Hell broke lose in the match, as both teams came through the ropes and started fighting. Lionheat and Margera fought all the way to the floor after a clothesline from Lionheart sent him over the ropes and Lionheart hit a plancha. Vince ended up with Guevara, who were team mates but ended up brawling all the way to the backstage area with Vince having Guevara on his heels. Draven and Chris P. continued to fight, and Chris hit Draven with Lights Out in the blink of an eye, but Jackson for whatever reason hit the Jackson Driver on Chris. Clinton followed it with a big boot to Jackson's head, that caught him and knocked him right onto the fallen Draven. Both were the legal men, so the referee counted three and the bell rang for Jackson's team!

MONICA DELUCA
Here are your winners of the match, the team of James Jackson, Chris P., Jack Clinton, and Matt Margera!

MARK BISHOP
Pandora's box was busted wide open here, and quite frankly folks if you followed the action you are quite astute.

JASON MARTEL
I'll tell you what happened, that idiot Jack Clinton hit his own partner with a big boot! The worst part is he got a win because James Jackson fell on top of Alexander Draven and got a pinfall. Jackson has no idea he's won the match!

MARK BISHOP
Such chaos here during this match, but James Jackson came away with the pinfall for his team. Will this be enough for him to seal a victory at WrestleStock?

JASON MARTEL
No telling, he doesn't even know he won! He's knocked out cold!

MARK BISHOP
Man that's cold.

JASON MARTEL
I'll tell you what's not cold, though. The Sportys next Saturday night from Bob's Steak and Chophouse in Downtown Fort Worth, which will air live on the CW at 7 PM Central Time!

MARK BISHOP
The Sportys indeed will not be cold. The second annual Sportys will be hosted by radio legend, Norm Hitzges, heard Monday thru Friday, 10 AM- Noon Central Time on Sportsradio 1310 the Ticket.

JASON MARTEL
Which you can listen to online from anywhere around the world on www.theticket.com.

MARK BISHOP
And from what I understand, Norm won't come alone as he'll be bringing his stuffed panda, Andy Panda.

JASON MARTEL
Oh brother, that's a disaster waiting to happen.

MARK BISHOP
And last year, Gordon Heath and the SNW Bad Boy Band closed out the show with Gordie's rendition of "Stand Back." This year, SNW debuts a new musical ensemble... The SNW Timewasters, featuring the entire SNW roster! That includes you and me, Jason!

JASON MARTEL
Ha! I'll outshine everybody with my vocal range!

MARK BISHOP
We'll find out as the SNW Timewasters will close out the Sportys with our rendition of "Land of 1,000 Dances."

JASON MARTEL
I can't wait!

MARK BISHOP
Fans, don't forget to go to SNW.com and vote for the Sportys. You have until next Saturday night, March 13, at 10 PM Central Time! Up next, the contract signing for the Lucifer's Last Stand Match at WrestleStock II pitting Bad Blood Champion Chris Angel against Texas Champion, Vincent Matthews!

PTR RADIO, THE ONLY PLACE TO HEAR SNW RESULTS, ANALYSIS, AND FAN FEEDBACK ON THE WEB! WWW.PTRRADIO.COM PTR RADIO-WHERE WE RESPECT THE DEATH OF ANGELO POFFO!

[Hollywood]

"The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath and Codi Shane are standing inside the ring. A table with a chair on each side has been set up. Gordie is holding a clipboard containing the contract.

GORDIE
Ladies and gentlemen, in three weeks at WrestleStock II, there will be a main event of ginormous proportions. It will be champion vs champion, title for title as both the Bad Blood Championship and the Texas Heavyweight Championship will be decided in the first ever Lucifer's Last Stand Match. An open air steel cage will be surrounding the entire ring and part of ringside, and a ladder will be inside the caged structure. In order to win, you must climb the ladder and grab both the Bad Blood and Texas Heavyweight Championship. Now my co-owner, Codi Shane, will do the honors of introducing the participants of this match.

CODI SHANE
Thank you, Gordie. First, let's introduce the reigning Bad Blood Champion. He has virtually undefeated as he's never been pinned or made to submit here in SNW. He is "The Dream" Chris Angel!

The crowd erupts as "Stranglehold" blasts over the PA. Chris Angel appears from behind the curtain, wearing jeans and a white dress shirt with blue designs on it, and holding his Bad Blood Championship over his shoulder. He walks down to the ring, slapping hands with some of the fans at ringside.

MARK BISHOP
In three weeks time, Chris Angel takes part in possibly the most dangerous of his career.

JASON MARTEL
A steel cage that surrounds the entire ring, and there's no escaping the cage as the only way to win is to climb the ladder and grab both the Bad Blood and Texas Heavyweight Championship belts.

Angel enters the ring and takes a seat at the table.

CODI SHANE
And introducing Chris Angel's opponent at WrestleStock II. He is managed by Myke Rhines, and is the leader of Insurgence with his teammates, Texas Tag Team Champions, the Young Gunz. Ladies and gentlemen, the Texas Heavyweight Champion, "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews!

"Remedy" blasts over the PA, and the fans boo their lungs out as Vincent Matthews, wearing black jeans and a black sports coat over a white shirt. Holding his Texas Championship over his shoulder, he leads the way as Myke Rhines, Samuel Hale and Marcus Ryan walk out behind him. Samuel and Marcus hold their Texas Tag Team Titles over their shoulders as well.

MARK BISHOP
Vincent Matthews, the leader of Insurgence, will have held that Texas Championship two days shy of seven months come WrestleStock II, the longest anyone has ever held the title in SNW.

JASON MARTEL
There may have been wrestlers dating back to the days that the Texas Championship was part of the NWA who may have held the title for as long or longer, but like you said, Bishop, nobody in SNW has held it for this long. And I don't think Chris Angel will be able to wrestle that belt away from Mr. Matthews.

Matthews, Rhines, Hale and Ryan enter the ring, ignoring the boos and heckling of the fans inside the Gordietorium. Angel eyes the members of Insurgence as they walk over to the other side of the table. Matthews takes a seat as Rhines, Hale and Ryan stand behind him.

GORDIE
Alright, you two are well aware of the dangers that await the two of you in the Lucifer's Last Stand Match. You read over the contract earlier today, and by signing this contract, you absolve Sports Nutz Wrestling of any and all responsibility for any injuries you may incur in this match. Chris Angel, if you would please, sign on this page.

Gordie flips the papers over to the piece of paper Angel has to sign and sets the clipboard and pen down. Angel proceeds to sign the contract.

MARK BISHOP
Chris Angel putting his John Hancock on the dotted line.

JASON MARTEL
Look at Vincent Matthews. He has yet to take his eyes off of Chris Angel.

Angel signs the contract and slides it over into the center of the table. Gordie picks it up and hands it over to Matthews.

GORDIE
Alright, Mr. Matthews, if you would please.

Matthews, still not taking his eyes off Angel, signs the contract and slides it over to the center of the table. Gordie picks it up.

CODI SHANE
Alright, at this time, we will allow both of you air time to share your thoughts about the upcoming Lucifer's Last Stand Match at WrestleStock II, as we have set microphones down in front of you on the table.

Angel gets the microphone and gets ready to speak, but Matthews quickly cuts him off.

VINCENT MATTHEWS
Let's get something straight here Angel, I'm the champion so I'll go first. When I came here almost a year ago today, I had but a simple goal. To be the best, no matter what I had to do and who I had to defeat. At 4 Up, I got my first chance and I lost. When I lost there, I learned that who I was wasn't good enough. So I changed that.

And since then it's been like I've been blessed from above. I have become the hottest superstar that this company and this business has ever seen. I've held this title for a damn near record amount of time, and I fully intend on breaking that record because it needs to be. When WrestleStock comes, I'm going to justify the claim that I have been making since I won this belt: that I am better than everyone. I'm better than Soul Reaper, Jack Clinton, Cyanide, James Jackson, and the rest of that locker room. Hell, I'm better than the men who got me here the Sports Nutz. I'm better than every single, solitary, slovenly, disgusting human sitting and watching me here telling you this.

But what matters is what I will prove on March 27th. I will prove that I am better than you Chris Angel. I will retain my Texas Title, I will take your Bad Blood Title, and I will leave you in a crumpled heap at the base of the ladder in that tall unforgiving cage as I raise my prizes high in the air. When it is all said and done Chris Angel, I will cement the rock solid fact that I am THE very best this company, and this business, has and ever will see.

[/color]

Angel scoffs, then smiles at Vincent Matthews, bringing the mic to his lips.

CHRIS ANGEL
Thanks for leaving the best for last Vinnie. That’s real big of you. You know, usually when you drone on and on, I shut my ears. You haven’t really said anything remotely original in the past few months you’ve been champion and I have one of your promos video taped so I can watch it in place of what you say every other week. Same thing in and out.

But this time around, I have to admit, I was listening and you have a point. I remember when I first came in here and I met you for the first time. You were this brown nose kid with a lot of heart and a lot of passion for the business. You had spunk and you had nothing but the world to take hold of.

But things didn’t go as you planned. You went out there and gave as hard as you could but it wasn’t enough and you got frustrated. Eventually, that frustration turned into bitter resentment. You stepped away from the fans, you stepped away from what was right and decided like some petulant child that you needed to change, but you had to shit in everyone’s food while you did it.

I won’t deny that it worked wonders for you. You are leader of the most dominant faction so far in the SNW and I’ll even admit that while I had at most times, singlehandedly beaten your cohorts...

Angel points at The Young Gunz as the crowd cheers.

CHRIS ANGEL
...that you guys are still on top. Then Vinnie, you captured the Texas Championship. The highest you could ever achieve. In one fell swoop, you established your dominance and crushed everyone that was thrown at you. It made you better, but more importantly, it fueled that ego of yours. And why not? You were unstoppable and there was no one that could stand in your way.

That is…until now.

You see Vinnie, when I came into the SNW last year, I had one goal, and that was to entertain the fans. I had accomplished everything I had set out to in my career. There was nothing else, I told myself, that I needed to prove. That was until I had my first taste of championship gold. This Bad Blood Title here signifies the beginning of something new for my revival in the SNW. It spoke of conquests of blood and tears. Of honor and victory. It redefined the very name of Chris Angel and I know that those guys in the back, the ones I’ve beaten and those that I’ve yet to face are terrified of fighting me for the belt.

I was happy, contented. Then I was offered the once in a life time chance. To face you and take that belt away from you.

Vinnie, you have all your accolades before you and you can say you’re better that those you’ve beaten. I give you that. But you can never say you’re the absolute best in SNW.

Not till you beat me.

And at WrestlesStock, I can agree with you on one thing. A record will be broken and it will be yours. But not in the way you think. I am going to beat you at Lucifer’s Last Stand and I will end your reign, stop your rise to the top and watch you plummet back to earth and as New Texas Champion and Bad Blood Champion, I will usher in a new age for SNW.

The age of Dreams is upon us Vinnie, but come WrestleStock, it’ll be nothing but a nightmare for you.

Vincent Matthews gets up out of his seat, as does Chris Angel. Myke Rhines and the Young Gunz stand right behind Matthews as he and Angel approach each other. They stare each other down and exchange some last minute words as they both hold their belts up in the air.

COPYRIGHT 2010 EXACTLY I MEAN PRODUCTIONS

In a post-show dark match:
-Soul Reaper and the Alley Ratz defeated Vincent Matthews and the Young Gunz when Reaper made Samuel Hale tap out to the Cold, Hard Truth.[/color][/center]