Saturday Night Onslaught: 4/17/10

[Hollywood]

In a pre-show dark match:
SiMox defeated the Alternative Lifestylers via pinfall after hitting Skip with the East-West Connection.

"Thunderkiss 65" plays in the background, set to a montage of various SNW highlights.



LIVE! THE GORDIETORIUM! FORT WORTH, TX!

Camera pans around inside the sold out Gordietorium as the fans are going crazy, some of them holding up wacky signs.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Live from the Gordietorium in Downtown Fort Worth, SNW presents Saturday Night Onslaught!

JASON MARTEL
You just had to return tonight, didn't you Followill?

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well it's great to be back, though I don't look forward to working with you either.

"Superhero" blasts over the PA, and the fans immediately boo their lungs out as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels appears from behind the curtain with a smug look on his face.

MARK FOLLOWILL
What a stacked lineup we have in store for you, and we're kicking it off with the #1 contender's match to determine who will face Wench at The Main Event next Friday night.

JASON MARTEL
And even though she's in France, I'm sure Wench has found a way to keep a close eye on this match up.

MONICA DELUCA
The following contest is set for one fall and it is to determine the #1 contender to the Von Erich Memorial Championship. Introducing first, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada and weighing 220 lbs, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels.

Kid Thunder continues to taunt the crowd as several fans shoot him the bird. Kid Thunder walks up the steps and enters the ring, taking off his entrance gear as he prepares for his opponent. "Don't Wait" hits, and the fans turn the boos into cheers as Levetation appears from behind the curtain, slapping hands with the fans on his way to the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
His opponent, from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and weighing in at 227 lbs, Levetation!

MARK FOLLOWILL
A huge opportunity for both men tonight as they both look to try and dethrone Wench next Friday night.

JASON MARTEL
I'm putting a triple play on Kid Thunder here tonight. He was on such a roll, then ran into a brick wall at WrestleStock II. I'm looking for him to be extra motivated as this may be his last chance at a title shot from Wench.

Levetation walks up the ring steps and enters the ring. He goes to pose on one of the turnbuckles to acknowledge the fans, only for Kid Thunder to run up and ambush him with a double axe handle to Levetation's back, causing Levetation to fall down and hit his face on the top turnbuckle as he falls down on the canvas.

Von Erich Memorial Title #1 Contender Match
Levetation vs "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels

Kid Thunder took the early lead in the match as he continued to work Levetation over with stomps, kicks, and various technical wrestling holds after the pre-match ambush. Kid Thunder would hit Levetation with a trifecta of suplexes, starting with the snap suplex, then picking Levetation up and slamming him down hard with a back suplex, and ended the sequence with a Sambo suplex. But Levetation would not let that deter him as Kid Thunder picked Levetation up, wrenched his arm, then went for a mule kick, only for Levetation to duck under the kick and thumb Kid Thunder in the eyes. Levetation followed up with a kick to the gut, followed by a reverse DDT. Levetation went for the cover, only for Kid Thunder to kick out at two. These two warriors continued to battle back and forth, exchanging moves, counter moves, holds, and counter holds. The end came when Kid Thunder went for the Thunderbolt, only for Levetation to slip down behind Kid Thunder and hit him with the Levetated. ONE... TWO... THREE!

Winner- Levetation

The ref helps Levetation up as he raises his hand in victory.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Putting a triple play on Alex Daniels?

JASON MARTEL
Oh shut up! I have a lot on my mind! I don't need to deal with your bull...

MARK FOLLOWILL
Whoa, stop right there!

SEE JACKSON FIVE COVER GROUP, JERUSALEM JACKSON FIVE, TAKE THE STAGE AT 8 PM NEXT THURSDAY NIGHT AT THE RECONSIDER LOUNGE!

[Hollywood]

Shot opens in one of the backstage hallways inside the Gordietorium. "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels is storming down the hallway, carrying his luggage and still wearing his ring gear as he makes his way to one of exits. Misty Crawford runs up and cuts him off.

MISTY CRAWFORD
Alex, what are you doing?!

KID THUNDER
What does it look like I'm doing?! I wasn't even screwed over this time around! I lost, plain and simple. I guess my critics are right... I just don't have what it takes to be a champion in SNW.

Kid Thunder exits out of the building as the shot switches over to inside the Gordietorium as we get ready for the next match.

"Badstreet USA" blares over the sound system, and out stomps Danny Palis from the backstage area to a chorus of boos. Walking down the aisle with a bottle of whiskey in his hand, he gives the bird to a pair of little kids who are yelling at him. He goes to take another drink from his bottle, but spills it all over his shirt.

MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at 225 lbs., Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis!

Palis creaks up onto the apron and hangs his hat on one of the turnbuckles, before stepping through the ropes. His cowboy boots stomp around as he moves around the ring in a drunken almost stupor.

MARK FOLLOWILL
A battle of new versus old here, as the alcoholic Danny Palis takes on the savvy veteran Syco Boy.

JASON MARTEL
I gotta tell you Fozzywill, I know you probably haven't seen this guy a lot but I have, and I love him!

MARK FOLLOWILL
Why, he's a complete lush and degenerate.

JASON MARTEL
No, that's not why. It's because he likes cussing, getting drunk, and fooling around with women!

MARK FOLLOWILL
So that's why, he's just like you.

JASON MARTEL
What are you implying?

"Monster" screeches over the PA, and crowd is conflicted as Syco Boy walks out from the back. Syco pays them no mind as he walks with determination towards the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
His opponent from Clayton, North Carolina! Weighing in at 233 lbs., Syco Boy!

Syco Boy slides into the ring, and paces around his side of the ring keeping his eyes focused on his opponent across the ring from him.

MARK FOLLOWILL
This match sets up to be an interesting one. We know very little about the newcomer Palis,and of course Syco Boy speaks for himself.

JASON MARTEL
You need to support a real cowboy like Palis, since you are from Texas.

MARK FOLLOWILL
But Palis is from Boston, how can he be a real cowboy?

JASON MARTEL
Don't worry about that, that's not the point. He is setting a positive example for all young people who want to be cowboys.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well the only advice I can give is mamma, don't let your babies grow up to be cowboys.

JASON MARTEL
That's an ender.

Danny Palis vs. Syco Boy

The bell rang, and the cowpoke Palis took the early advantage. He locked up with Syco to start, but drove his jhort clad knee into the gut of Syco, then drove his cowboy boot covered foot into the solar plexis. Palis used brute force blunt tactics to keep his opponent at his mercy, including a DDT that garnered a two count and a debilitating Iron Claw that wore Syco down considerably. The pace turned when Syco was locked in a figure four, and was able to flip Palis over and reverse the pain onto his leg. Palis breaks the hold, and both stand up and Syco nails a quick dropkick that sends both of them back down to the mat. The momentum of the match kept flipping between the two men, until the match took a drastic turn when Syco went for a diving forearm but Palis pulls the referee into the way of the move and it takes the referee down. Syco looks at the referee, and instinctively tries to get him awake and back on his feet. He successfully got the referee conscious again, and Palis was standing in the corner with his now empty whiskey bottle in hand. Syco turned around and Palis charged, but Syco was able to deliver a swift kick to the gut. Staggered, Syco grabbed Palis and quickly drove him down with the Syco Clash. He went for a pin as the referee counted ONE....TWO...THREE!

Winner: Syco Boy

[/i][/b]

MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, Syco Boy!

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well Danny Palis used some less than ethical tactics that almost gave him the win, but Syco Boy was able to fight through it all and get the win with the Syco Clash.

JASON MARTEL
Why didn't Syco get disqualified, he hit a referee with a diving forearm?

MARK FOLLOWILL
Maybe you had some of Palis's whiskey, but there ARE no DQs anymore. This is the brand new SNW, anything goes nowadays.

JASON MARTEL
Well now that just doesn't make any sense. Alcohol makes you do stupid things.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Like lose a wrestling match, which is exactly what the Sahara Reign did tonight against Syco Boy. Now let's throw it to Brenda Price, who is going to catch us up on the goings on for the next pay per view 4 Up!

Shot goes to static for a brief moment(much like the ECW static that segued between segments), then switches over to Brenda Price, who's standing in front of an SNW banner, microphone in hand.

BRENDA PRICE
Brenda Price here to give you the latest run down on the third annual 4 Up, taking place Saturday night, May 22, at the Empire Theatre in San Antonio, Texas at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST. For those of you who have never seen 4 Up before, this is how it works. It starts with a 16 person battle royal, but the object isn't necessarily to win the match, rather, it's about positioning and which stipulation match you'll be thrown into. This year at 4 Up, the first four participants to be eliminated from the battle royal will enter the Light Tube Death Match. The next four participants to be eliminated go into SNW's version of TLC, which is Thumbtacks, Ladders and Chairs. The next four eliminated will go into the Barbed Wire Match, which is different than your typical Barbed Wire Match as there won't be barbed wire around the ropes, rather there will be weapons with barbed wire on them, and barbed wire itself. Finally, the last four participants still in the ring will immediately commence with the Chain Match, where two short chains will be dropped down into the center of the ring by the referee, and the four wrestlers in the Chain Match can use the chains however they see fit. After all is said and done, at the end of the night, the four winners from the four stipulation matches will go into a special cage match, the Cage of Death, where each wrestler brings the weapon that represents the match they were in. The first wrestler to escape the Cage of Death will be awarded the Bad Blood Title personally by Texas Champion, Chris Angel, at the end of the night. Now who will be participating in this year's 4 Up, you ask? Well tonight, I'm announcing the first four entrants, and next week during The Main Event, I will announce the next four participants. This week, entered into 4 Up are...

Versus Vince...

Syco Boy...

"The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler...

and "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara.

That's not all we have in store for you all at 4 Up though, as the Texas Tag Team Titles will go on the line when Death Sentence will take on the Alley Ratz. The Alley Ratz had lady luck on their side last year as they won the Texas Tag Titles at 4 Up. Can they repeat this year, or will they receive the Death Sentence from Soul Reaper and Cyanide.

Fans, 4 Up has sold out and the only way to see it is live on PPV, 8 PM EST/7 PM CST! Don't miss it!

DUNPORK'S HOUSE OF BACON! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR NO MONEY BACK![/center]

[Hollywood]

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" hits over the PA, and the fans get up off their feet and cheer their lungs out as the Gambler leads Killer Kong and Super Vader out toward the ring.

MONICA DELUCA
The following tag team contest is set for one fall and it is a non-title match. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by the Gambler and representing the Destruction Crew, the team of Killer Kong and Super Vader!

MARK FOLLOWILL
While the Texas Tag Team Titles are not on the line, a win here by Killer Kong and Super Vader would most certainly catapult them to the top of the tag team rankings.

JASON MARTEL
Could you imagine these two befouling the Texas Tag Team Titles?

MARK FOLLOWILL
Even here in Sports Nutz Wrestling, it all comes back to doodoo.

As their music plays, Kong walks out with a slow, methodical walk, while Super Vader slowly wanders out, grunting and screaming at the fans. Kong has a scowl on his face, as though he had just smelled something rotten, while Super Vader makes the Vader hand signal along with the fans at ringside. Kong enters the ring, cracking his knuckles, as Super Vader follows him in. The Gambler enters the ring last, clapping his hands and motioning over at Kong and Super Vader as the crowd cheers them on while their music dies down. "Indestructible" comes on over the PA system, and the crowd lets out a slightly bigger pop as they anticipate the arrival of Soul Reaper and Cyanide. As the main riff of the song comes on, green lights flash and smoke comes over the entryway. Reaper and Cyanide, wearing their Texas Tag Team Title belts around their waists, come out from behind the curtain and begin their walk down to the ring as they slap hands with the fans.

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents are the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions. Presenting the team of Soul Reaper and Cyanide, Death Sentence!

MARK FOLLOWILL
A tough choice for these fans as four of their favorite wrestlers will be duking it out tonight.

JASON MARTEL
The fans may like these guys, but I don't. And these two teams certainly don't like each other based off the interviews that were streamed on SNW.com.

Reaper and Cyanide get in the ring, and they take a corner and pose for the crowd, then proceed to switch corners as the crowd cheers them on. They take off their title belts and hand them over to Monica Deluca, who takes them with her over to the timekeeper's table.

Non-Title Match
Killer Kong and Super Vader vs Death Sentence

Neither team gave an inch as all four guys worked rather stiff on each other throughout the whole match, much to the delight of the crowd. The match started off with two men in the ring at a time, with both teams making quick tags in and out. Five minutes into the match, Kong whipped Cyanide into the ropes and went for a clothesline, but Cyanide ducked under and turned around. Right as Kong turned around, Cyanide took him down hard with an STO. Cyanide went for the cover, but Super Vader broke it up at two, and that's when this match degenerated into an all out brawl, with all four guys duking it out at once much to the excitement of the crowd. Super Vader seemed to have the match in hand when he came down on top of Reaper with a Vader Splash off the middle turnbuckle, but Cyanide broke it up with a shining wizard kick to Super Vader's head. Cyanide went for a pin, but Killer Kong broke it up by jumping up in the air and coming down onto Cyanide with the Kong Splash. Kong took Cyanide and rolled him off of Super Vader, and turned him over and went for a pinfall, but Soul Reaper saved the day with a steel chair, slamming it down over Kong's back. Super Vader staggered up as Reaper dropped the chair, then grabbed Super Vader and knocked him out with a Reapercutter onto the chair. ONE... TWO... THREE! Gambler shakes his head as he goes in to check on Super Vader and Killer Kong while Reaper helps Cyanide up and takes him out of the ring and to the back, both men holding up their Texas Tag Team Title belts.

Winners- Death Sentence

MONICA DELUCA
Your winners of the match, Soul Reaper and Cyanide, Death Sentence!

MARK FOLLOWILL
What started as a great exchange of holds and counter holds quickly degenerated into an all out street fight!

JASON MARTEL
And I have to admit, I loved every minute of it! If only they would've injured each other permanently so I wouldn't have to put up with any of them anymore.

James Jackson, in his ring gear for whatever reason, walks down the hallway.

MARK FOLLOWILL
When we come back, James Jackson will address his actions from last week. But why is he dressed to wrestle?

JASON MARTEL
Maybe he'll tell us when he addresses the crowd.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Don't go away, we'll be right back!

WRESTLESTOCK II! COMING TO DVD AND BLU RAY, TUESDAY, MAY 11! RESERVE YOUR COPY NOW AT SNW.COM!

[Hollywood]

“Kashmir” slowly begins to play as James Jackson makes his way out to the ring to a tremendous noise of heckling and catcalls. James pauses mid way to the ring, and looks around at the fans who are booing.

MARK FOLLOWILL
I respect his talents, I respect the fact that he’s a great athlete, but folks, that doesn’t mean that I have to like James Jackson. What he did last week was uncalled for.

JASON MARTEL
Shut up Followill. You're just jealous because James Jackson is an athlete, unlike the jokes you see all the time in the Dallas Mavericks.

James climbs into the ring and taunts the crowd, garnering more heat as he’s handed a microphone. He pauses for a second as the crowd continues to boo.

JAMES JACKSON
Last week in some run down night club in Dallas, Texas, a travesty had occurred. You see, as I informed everyone out there in the internet world, I’m here to address what happened last week. The vicious and uncalled for attack on Bob Sturm was something that never should of happened.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Bob Sturm?! Give me a break! Nothing against Sturm, but everyone knows that everyone wants to know about his attack on Codi Shan, not Bob Sturm.

JASON MARTEL
What is your deal Followill? Do you have something against Bob Sturm? James Jackson is expressing his concern on what happened. What a jackass you are.

JAMES JACKSON
Bob Sturm, yes he loves Brett Favre more than anyone in Wisconsin ever could. I understand that the Sturminator is the top choice for adult softball events. I’m well aware that his prediction is that Brett Favre will win the Super Bowl, that will be taking place at Cowboys Stadium. However I’m here to say right now with a straight face. Bob Sturm, I’m sorry that, well, I didn’t kick your head off sooner.

James pauses as he gets surprisingly a mixed reaction from the crowd, unlike the regular boos. James just nods his head and continues on.

JAMES JACKSON
Yet the real reason I came out here, believe it or not, has nothing to do with Brett Favre or Bob Sturm. The reason I came out here is because every single waking second since I did it I keep getting asked, why did you do that. Why did you drop Codi Shane with a super kick. Why did you take out the lovely blonde bombshell who is the part owner of this very company? Why did I, James Jackson, super kick Codi Shane into next week? I can reword it anyway I want it. The reality is everyone wants to know the answer to my question. Codi Shane you talked about a new era that resembles bingo halls, fire, light tubes and whatever else you can find from a trip to Philadelphia. The fact is this all started at Wrestlestock. Balance of Power, I fought in that match, and what do I receive? A nice fall from the structure and crashing through some tables. What do I hear while I’m laying there? Cheers of joy from the wrestling fans of Arlington, Texas. Now I wouldn’t have expected anything less. These fans enjoy seeing bloodshed, they enjoy seeing objects being broken, and enjoy the violence that comes with it. However therein lies the issue. I refuse to be their puppet. Just like I refuse to be your puppet, Codi Shane. You can force me to wrestle in any kind of match you want. I know that, we all know that, however I don’t care.

I want you to understand something Codi. I refuse to play by your rules. I will show you, just like I will show all these puppeteers, the SNW faithful, that I am the wrestling Messiah. I'm the Anti-Hardcore Icon, I’m the best wrestler pound for pound in the world. You can have your sea of misfits wrestle their own way. Swing those chairs, break those tables, shatter the glass. It won’t make a difference as I will stand above it all. If anyone in SNW has a problem with my words well its quite simple. Do something about it. After all, I am dressed to wrestle tonight, so we can take care of whatever problems anyone has with what I've had to say.

Jackson throws his hands up in the air as the fans boo him out of the building. The boos turn into a thunderous pop as "Stranglehold" hits over the PA system, and out from the back walks Chris Angel, who looks mighty dapper in his jeans, SNW WrestleStock II T-shirt, cowboy hat and sunglasses as he holds both his Texas Heavyweight Championship and Bad Blood Championship over each shoulder.

JASON MARTEL
Oh what is Chris Angel's problem with James Jackson?

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well Mr. Jackson did ask for anyone to come out here, didn't he?

Chris Angel walks down the aisle, then enters the ring as he motions for a mic. The timekeeper just happens to have a another mic handy as he gives it over to Angel.

CHRIS ANGEL
James Jackson, remember that old saying, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it? Well, you wanted anyone who has a problem with what you did last week and what you've had to say tonight, and I for one have an issue with your actions as of late.

JAMES JACKSON
Well if you have a problem with it, then let's get a ref out here right now and settle this the old fashioned way, with both of your belts up for grabs.

CHRIS ANGEL
Hold up a second here. Don't you have a match with Jack Clinton next week for the Balance of Power briefcase? And if you were to beat me, wouldn't you have to vacate one of the belts?

JAMES JACKSON
I'm well aware of all that. My plan is to beat you, throw the Bad Blood Title in the garbage, then proudly defend my Texas Championship against Jack Clinton.

CHRIS ANGEL
Well if you're game for it, I'm game for it. Send a damn referee out here and ring the damn bell!

MARK FOLLOWILL
How about that?! An impromptu match pitting two of SNW's best against each other for all the marbles!

JASON MARTEL
I can't wait for the Jackson Era to begin tonight!

The fans cheer as Angel sets his belts down and takes off his T-shirt. Angel and Jackson stare each other down as referee Mike Croft runs down to the ring and signals for the bell.

Texas and Bad Blood Title Match
Chris Angel(Champion) vs James Jackson(Challenger)

Angel and Jackson didn't waste any time getting the match underway as Angel ran to clothesline Jackson, only for Jackson to duck under the clothesline, grab Angel in a go-behind, and bring him down with a German suplex. Jackson had control of the early portion of the match, working Angel over with a variety of suplexes. Jackson looked like he had the match in the bag after hitting Angel with a yakuza kick and going for a pinfall, but Angel kicked out at two. Jackson went to pick Angel up, but Angel turned the tide in his favor with a flurry of jabs to Jackson's rib cage, followed by a dropkick that took Jackson down. Angel continued to dominate Jackson with his raw power. Angel then went for the Fallen, but after lifting Jackson up, Jackson grabbed Angel's arm on the way down and slammed him down with a single arm DDT, then held onto the arm in a Fujiwara armbar. Jackson held onto the armbar for as long as he could for the next minute, but realized that Angel wasn't going to give up, so he let go of the hold. Jackson continued to work Angel over with his scientific wrestling ability, then decided to take a big gamble as he whipped Angel into the corner, followed up by seating Angel on the top turnbuckle. Jackson climbed up and attempted a superplex, but Angel blocked it, then punched away at Jackson, finally sending him down to the canvas with a big right hand. Angel perched himself on the top turnbuckle as Jackson staggered up to his feet. Jackson turned around and got hit with a flying clothesline off the top turnbuckle from Angel, and Angel finished the job with the Fallen. ONE... TWO... THREE!

Winner- Chris Angel

MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner and still Bad Blood and Texas Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel!

MARK FOLLOWILL
What a hard fought match on the part of both men, but tonight just wasn't James Jackson's night.

JASON MARTEL
That's a bigger tragedy than Bob Sturm getting superkicked in the head!

Shot switches to inside the Destruction Crew locker room as Super Vader and Killer Kong are clearly dejected. Mike Hanson and Mauler try to encourage them, only to get waved off. The Gambler, shuffling a deck of cards, decides to take care of the situation.

THE GAMBLER
Guys, sometimes you beat the dealer, and sometimes you come up craps. Killer Kong, Super Vader, you two have nothing to be ashamed of. Beating Death Sentence just wasn't in the cards for you two.

SUPER VADER
We were this close to beating them! This close!

THE GAMBLER
I know. Just remember, it's not the number of times you fail. It's whether you get up, dust yourself off, and go out more determined to win the next go round. Now Mike Hanson and Mauler, you two have your match against S.T. Strickler and Benson next. Don't let those two dweebs get a win at your expense.

MIKE HANSON
Believe me, we won't let you down.

MAULER
And after we take care of dumb and dumber, we'll hit up the Reconsider Lounge and go through all of their drinks, maybe even get some food while we're there!

The Destruction Crew seem fired up as they all shout "Yeah!" and "Let's do this!" Mauler stomps around, shouting "Huss! Huss! Huss!" as the shot fades to commercial.

THE CITY OF HURST, WHERE TRAFFIC LIGHTS CAN'T CYCLE RIGHT FOR THE LIFE OF THEM!

[Hollywood]

"Shitlist" booms over the sound system, and the fans jeer lustily as S.T. Strickler and Benson walk out from the backstage area. Strickler parades cockily in front of his enforcer who is walking with a very heavy gait down the aisle.

MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring first, at a combined weight of 462 lbs., "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson!

The two men enter the ring, and Strickler ascends to the turnbuckle to self-indulge himself in front of the fans while Benson stands in the ring and looks on protective and forcefully.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well S.T. Strickler has certainly made an impression since he first showed up last year, and now he's got a 282 pound exclamation point to ensure his success.

JASON MARTEL
That is definitely a smart move by the Real Deal. Always pays to have a bit of backup, though looking at this man monster Benson he is much more than just a bit of backup.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Absolutely right there Jason, however their two opponents tonight are not exactly pencil neck geeks.

JASON MARTEL
Well, look who's quoting the late, great Classie Freddie Blassie. You've been studying up.

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" plays over the PA and the fans go up in a raucous cheer as the Mauler and Mike Hanson walk out from the back, accompanied by their manager The Gambler. They slap hands with the fans at rail and ringside, as the fans serenade the Mauler with screams of "HUSS HUSS HUSS"

MONICA DELUCA
Their opponents, at a combined weight of 600 lbs. Representing the Destruction Crew, the Mauler and Mike "Beastman" Hanson!

Hanson and Mauler climb into the ring, and pose on the turnbuckles as their opponents look on from their side of the mat. The Gamlber remains on the outside of the ring.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Ever since returning full time at Wrestlestock the four gentlemen known as the Destruction Crew have been tearing this place a new one.

JASON MARTEL
You'd think that with all this ring time they wouldn't have time to be obese. Sadly this is not the case.

MARK FOLLOWILL
You call it obese, but I bet they could still lay a whoopin on your ass.

JASON MARTEL
Hey, they are just representing the masses of America. Stupid and overweight, just like their loyal sheeple of followers.

MARK FOLLOWILL
OK Eric Bischoff, back off the HSOs.

JASON MARTEL
I'll say what I want, I live in America.

"The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson vs. Mike "The Beastman" Hanson and The Mauler

Mike Hanson and Benson started the match as the bell rang, and early on the two large men kept things fairly even. Both traded thunderous right hands, Hanson was able to land a clothesline but Benson countered with an eye rake that turned into a power slam. Benson tried to go for the early win with a Texas clover leaf, but Hanson quickly powered out of it. From then they kept trading moves, but the tide turned for the Destruction Crew members when Hanson landed a running bulldog that spiked Benson's head into the mat. Hanson tagged in Mauler, as Strickler groaned on the outside. Mauler continued the beatdown on Benson, including a MaulerDriver that almost garnered a three count and would have if Strickler didn't come in and break up the pin attempt. He stayed in the ring and tried to brawl with Mauler, who responded with a Fallaway slam that sent Strickler rolling under the bottom rope. The Mauler tagged Hanson back in, and exits the ring. Benson was still reeling in the ring, and on the outside Strickler was livid. He stormed to the timekeeper's station and grabbed the ring bell. As Hanson was trying to work over Benson, Strickler wandered over to Mauler and slammed the ring bell in his back, sending him off the apron. The Gambler saw the assault and tried to break it up, but Strickler landed a blow to the gut and the face with the bell. Hanson walked over to see what happened, and got blasted in the head with the bell. He spun around, and Benson caught him with a sit out powerbomb and a pin ONE...TWO...THREE!

Winners: "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson

[/i]

MONICA DELUCA
Here are your winners of the match, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson!

MARK FOLLOWILL
Some decidedly unethical tactics hand Strickler and Benson the win. Mauler and Hanson had the match in hand, but Strickler was enraged and took to clobbering people with the ring bell.

JASON MARTEL
Strickler showed tonight exactly why he has been successful in this company. He does what it takes to win, no matter the means.

MARK FOLLOWILL
But don't you think he should have left it up to be decided in the ring?

JASON MARTEL
Did the pinfall happen in the ring Mark?

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well yes of course.

JASON MARTEL
Then it was decided in the ring, simple as that.

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[Hollywood]

We see the ring crew setting the steel cage up around the ring.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Fans, while the ring crew gets the cage set up for the upcoming steel cage match between Versus Vince and Tyler Guevara, let's send it backstage with Misty Crawford, who is standing by to interview the Alley Ratz.

Shot switches over to the backstage area, where Misty Crawford is standing in front of the Saturday Night Onslaught banner to interview Eddy and Twitch.

MISTY CRAWFORD
I'm here with Eddy and Twitch, the Alley Ratz, and guys, on May 22, you have yet another crack at the Texas Tag Team Titles against Death Sentence after your victory over Y Kores.

EDDY
You know, Misty, it feels pretty good to have a title shot coming up at 4 Up. In fact, it was last year at 4 Up when we had won the Texas Tag Team belts the last time around.

TWITCH
And this time, we don't plan on losing them a month later. Soul Reaper, Cyanide, you two know that Eddy and I have all the respect in the world for you two. But we're not going to hold anything back at 4 Up. Those Texas Tag Team Titles are coming back to us, and this time, we plan on being champions for a longer period of time.

EDDY
Now Misty, if you don't mind, Twitch and I gotta go hit up the Gas Pipe. Can you believe that place has been around for 40 years?!

Misty shakes her head as the Alley Ratz walk off. Shot switches over to ringside, where we see that the steel cage is now around the ring, which was put together during the commercial break. "American Lab Rat" screeches over the PA, and the fans boo as Tyler Guevara slowly comes out from the back. The fans lob boos and hate at him as he walks down the aisle at a decidedly hindered pace.

MONICA DELUCA
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a steel cage match. The only way to win this match is to escape the cage either by climbing out or going out the cage door. Introducing first from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at 300 lbs., he is the "American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

Guevara walks up the steps and into the ring through the ajar door. He walks around the sides of the ring looking around at the steel surrounding him like a caged animal.

MARK FOLLOWILL
We are finishing up the night with a steel cage match, and this should be a good one folks. Tyler Guevara and Versus Vince have been facing each other in one form or another, and tonight it will be settled inside the unforgiving cage.

JASON MARTEL
This will be a cake walk for Tyler Guevara. He's seven foot tall, and there's nowhere for his smaller opponent to run. He can brute force win this match.

MARK FOLLOWILL
But won't it be helpful for Vince to be smaller so he can climb over the walls and escape? Tyler is limited to one option, while Vince can take either one.

JASON MARTEL
When Vince is lying bloody in a heap in one of the corners it won't matter how he can escape because he won't be able too.

"You Can Run" booms over the sound system, and the fans cheer as Versus Vince appears from the backstage area. With his right arm in the air, he slaps the hands of front row fans with his other hand.

MONICA DELUCA
His opponent from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico. Weighing in at 195 lbs., Versus Vince!

Vince stares at the cage on the outside for a moment, and instead of going through the door he jumps and starts climbing the outside wall. He hoists himself over, shimmies himself down to the top turnbuckle, and steps down as the fans applaud his skill.

MARK FOLLOWILL
A nice show of agility in entering the ring, but Vince is going to have to be able to do it again if he wants to win this match.

JASON MARTEL
Which he won't, because Tyler Guevara will reduce him to nothing but a beaten body.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well no real mystery as to who you are rooting for. You don't give the upstart youngster any chance Jason?

JASON MARTEL
Not at all, and here's why. These types of matches are only meant for those who can handle it, and scrawny newcomers normally don't fare well in matches like this.

Versus Vince vs. "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara: Steel Cage Match

The door was shut by the outside official, and the bell rang to start the match. It began with the two man circling, feeling each other out and gauging the cage and their limited confined space. After a minute or so, the two started going at each other. Both landed move after move, including a vicious flipping dropkick that rocked Guevara's head and got the crowd amped. Guevara was able to recover, grab Vince, and throw his entire body into one of the cage walls. The steel rattled as flesh met metal, and Vince fell behind the ropes. He slowly got to his feet, but Guevara quickly bounced off the ropes and collided head with steel as he nailed Vince with a boot to the skull against the cage. Guevara then left him on the mat as he walked over to the opposite side and began to climb the cage. His size worked against him, as his ascent to the cage was quite slow. Vince meanwhile shook off the boot and saw Guevara climbing the cage. He got to his feet, and sprinted over to his opponent. Vince grabbed one leg, and started pulling until Guevara fell off the wall and onto his back on the canvas. Vince peppered him with ground moves, and kept Guevara on the ground on his back. Vince went to pick Guevara up, only for Guevara hit him with an uppercut out of nowhere, then worked Vince over with a series of knife edge chops. Guevara continued to work Vince over for several minutes, then took him down with the M.I.A. Guevara proceeded to taunt the fans, who booed him out of the building. Guevara walked over to the corner, shouting at the ref to open the door, only for Vince to kip up, run over and hit Guevara in the corner from behind with the Versus Vince Express to a loud pop from the crowd. Vince dragged Guevara to the center of the ring, then stepped over his prone body and started climbing the wall with much more ease than Guevara had. He got to the top, and the fans were cheering as Vince had the match won. However, Vince kept staring back over his shoulder at Guevara. He stalled for a moment, almost as if considering a set of options. He flashed a sly grin, and instead turned to face the downed Guevara. He had since rolled a biit closer to the other side, but Vince was locked in on him. The crowd seemed to implore him to not do whatever he was thinking. In a flash, Vince jumped off the top of the cage and executed a shooting star press that landed perfectly on Guevara. The wind was driven directly out of him, and the move took a lot out of Vince as well. The fans were going bonkers, cheering and screaming their heads off. Both men remained down for a few minutes, before Vince seemed to have recovered his senses. He started moving towards the door, and the referee outside opened it. All of a sudden Andy Lionheart ran through the crowd and jumped the barrier into the ringside area. Vince made it to the door, but Lionheart shoved the referee out of the way and smashed the door into Vince's head sending him backwards and splitting his skull wide open. Vince had fallen backwards, clutching his skull as blood poured from it like a gusher. Meanwhile, Guevara had started slowly crawling towards the open door. He was halfway out of the door when Vince was able to start making his escape again. He tried to grab Guevara's ankle, but Guevara kicled him in his wounded head and forced him off. He used his tree trunk like arms and propelled himself out of the cage and got the win for himself.

Wnner: "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara

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MONICA DELUCA
Here is your winner of the match, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

MARK FOLLOWILL
This was a back and forth battle for the ages, and sadly Andy Lionheart ruined what was already a five star match.

JASON MARTEL
What are you talking about Mark? I thought it was a great match!

MARK FOLLOWILL
The spirit of it was crushed though Jason. We had two gladiators fighting it out, and it looked like Vince was about to escape the cage and lay claim to victory.

JASON MARTEL
But in the end I was right, he couldn't handle it!

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well, hopefully next week we will see a more sportsmanlike performance. Join us next week for a double shot of SNW action, The Main Event television special on Friday and a special edition of Saturday Night Onslaught the very next day! Huge quickly![/b]

The cameras cut to the image of Guevara and Lionheart smiling like two Chesire cats, while Vince lays in the ring bleeding from his head profusely.

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