Post by Bubba JD on May 4, 2010 19:17:38 GMT -6
Scene opens in a conference room. The room is set up with a podium, which is placed on a small stage. Several chairs are set up, facing the stage. The Destruction Crew, along with The Gambler, are on the stage, sitting in chairs of their own. Gambler is looking rather impatient.
Gambler
Apparently, nobodies going to show up for the press conference.
Mauler
I can't believe we're ripping off this, of all things. Who's the genius that thought this would be a good idea?
Everyone slowly turns their heads towards Gambler, who starts to look a bit guilty.
Gambler
What? I'm a smart man. I never claimed to be original.
Uneasy pause.
Gambler
Anyway....let's get this over with.
Stares at Mike Hanson.
Gambler
Mike.....
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
(sounding irritated)
Fine!
Mike Hanson walks up to the podium & clears his throat.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Do I really need to do this? The only people here, besides us, are the camera crew.
Gambler
Just do it.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Ugh!
Clears throat again.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Ladies & Gentlemen, leading up to the last episode of Guys Night Out, I said a lot of "unsavory" things. My conduct was "unbecoming" of a "professional", such as myself. My words & actions were offensive, not only to my opponents, The Freelifers....or whatever their names are. My words & actions were offensive to my tag team partner, Adriana Sama, and her manager, Xander whatchamicallit.
Above all else, I offended the fans of SNW, which amazes me, considering what kind of garbage they've watched, over the last couple of years.
To the women's rights groups, as well as PFLAG, I'm....*fake coughing*
Gambler
I don't think I quite heard that.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I'm.....*plenty of mumbling*
Super Vader
Dammit! Spit it out, man. I'd like to get going with this.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I'm sorry, alright!
Gambler
That wasn't so hard, was it?
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Yeah, it was! Damned Morals Clause! Had to excercise that damned thing now, of all times.
Killer Kong
You don't want Nancy Pelosi involved in something like this, do you? She is from San Francisco and you know the reputation that San Fran has.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
You mind if I sit down, now?
Gambler
Go for it.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I neeed a bottle of Jack.
Mauler
Have you considered rehab?
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Rehab is for quitters. Do I look like a quitter, or a d.....
The rest of the group quickly interrupts Hanson.
Gambler
Damn it! When are you going to learn? Gotta know when to hold 'em & know when to fold 'em.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I was going to say "dumbass", not what you guys thought I'd say.
The rest of the group rolls their eyes, in disbelief.
Killer Kong
Um, don't we have something else to do, while we're here.
Mauler
I think it's got something to do with Johnny Moxie Java....whatever the hell his name is.
Super Vader
I think we're facing KY Jelly Doughnuts.
Killer Kong
Jelly Doughnuts? Who's got jelly doughnuts?
Groaning from the rest of the group.
Gambler
Idiots. It's Johnny Moxie & Y Kores, you're facing. It's an 8 person tag team match.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
The chicks probably have more testosterone then we do.
Gambler
Here we go again.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
It's either that, or they really love rolling 'round on the mat with real men.....not like SNW has many.
Super Vader
Great.....this is when we could've used Johnny Cochran. He would've gotten us off, for sure, if he was still around.
Killer Kong
(muttering)
Why would a 7 foot Wookie live on a planet with 3 foot tall Ewoks?
Mauler
Huh?
Killer Kong
Nevermind.
Mauler
I don't even grasp why we have to worry about this, anway. No court's going to believe that Mike did anything wrong. All he has to do is claim that his actions "were part of a character".
As far as this match is concerned, this is even less concern to me. Super Vader weighs more then all our opponents. We should just put him or Killer Kong in the match, clear out the first couple of rows, for the protection of the fans, then let the big men at it. The rest of us can sit back, enjoy a few brews, play a round of cards....
Gambler
Only a round?
Mauler
Well, we'll only have time for one round. When dealing with Y Kores....
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Feminists.
Mauler
Whatever. Going against them won't take long enough to get more games in.
Super Vader
Aren't we forgetting about Johnny Moxie?
Killer Kong
I don't think he likes Y Kores. No guaranteeing that he'll stick around for the match....unless, of course, SNW officials force him to compete.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I don't think he'll risk his neck for his teammates. We're virtually in a handicap match, with the odds in our favor.
Gambler
We'll take the odds. Anything for an easy payday.
Gambler looks around.
Gambler
Let's blow this press conference. I've got better things to do.
Mauler
I've got a date with a local bar. I plan on being there until closing time.
The Destruction Crew & Gambler wander off, all of them talking at once. cene comes to a close.
Gambler
Apparently, nobodies going to show up for the press conference.
Mauler
I can't believe we're ripping off this, of all things. Who's the genius that thought this would be a good idea?
Everyone slowly turns their heads towards Gambler, who starts to look a bit guilty.
Gambler
What? I'm a smart man. I never claimed to be original.
Uneasy pause.
Gambler
Anyway....let's get this over with.
Stares at Mike Hanson.
Gambler
Mike.....
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
(sounding irritated)
Fine!
Mike Hanson walks up to the podium & clears his throat.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Do I really need to do this? The only people here, besides us, are the camera crew.
Gambler
Just do it.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Ugh!
Clears throat again.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Ladies & Gentlemen, leading up to the last episode of Guys Night Out, I said a lot of "unsavory" things. My conduct was "unbecoming" of a "professional", such as myself. My words & actions were offensive, not only to my opponents, The Freelifers....or whatever their names are. My words & actions were offensive to my tag team partner, Adriana Sama, and her manager, Xander whatchamicallit.
Above all else, I offended the fans of SNW, which amazes me, considering what kind of garbage they've watched, over the last couple of years.
To the women's rights groups, as well as PFLAG, I'm....*fake coughing*
Gambler
I don't think I quite heard that.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I'm.....*plenty of mumbling*
Super Vader
Dammit! Spit it out, man. I'd like to get going with this.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I'm sorry, alright!
Gambler
That wasn't so hard, was it?
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Yeah, it was! Damned Morals Clause! Had to excercise that damned thing now, of all times.
Killer Kong
You don't want Nancy Pelosi involved in something like this, do you? She is from San Francisco and you know the reputation that San Fran has.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
You mind if I sit down, now?
Gambler
Go for it.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I neeed a bottle of Jack.
Mauler
Have you considered rehab?
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Rehab is for quitters. Do I look like a quitter, or a d.....
The rest of the group quickly interrupts Hanson.
Gambler
Damn it! When are you going to learn? Gotta know when to hold 'em & know when to fold 'em.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I was going to say "dumbass", not what you guys thought I'd say.
The rest of the group rolls their eyes, in disbelief.
Killer Kong
Um, don't we have something else to do, while we're here.
Mauler
I think it's got something to do with Johnny Moxie Java....whatever the hell his name is.
Super Vader
I think we're facing KY Jelly Doughnuts.
Killer Kong
Jelly Doughnuts? Who's got jelly doughnuts?
Groaning from the rest of the group.
Gambler
Idiots. It's Johnny Moxie & Y Kores, you're facing. It's an 8 person tag team match.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
The chicks probably have more testosterone then we do.
Gambler
Here we go again.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
It's either that, or they really love rolling 'round on the mat with real men.....not like SNW has many.
Super Vader
Great.....this is when we could've used Johnny Cochran. He would've gotten us off, for sure, if he was still around.
Killer Kong
(muttering)
Why would a 7 foot Wookie live on a planet with 3 foot tall Ewoks?
Mauler
Huh?
Killer Kong
Nevermind.
Mauler
I don't even grasp why we have to worry about this, anway. No court's going to believe that Mike did anything wrong. All he has to do is claim that his actions "were part of a character".
As far as this match is concerned, this is even less concern to me. Super Vader weighs more then all our opponents. We should just put him or Killer Kong in the match, clear out the first couple of rows, for the protection of the fans, then let the big men at it. The rest of us can sit back, enjoy a few brews, play a round of cards....
Gambler
Only a round?
Mauler
Well, we'll only have time for one round. When dealing with Y Kores....
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
Feminists.
Mauler
Whatever. Going against them won't take long enough to get more games in.
Super Vader
Aren't we forgetting about Johnny Moxie?
Killer Kong
I don't think he likes Y Kores. No guaranteeing that he'll stick around for the match....unless, of course, SNW officials force him to compete.
Mike "Beastman" Hanson
I don't think he'll risk his neck for his teammates. We're virtually in a handicap match, with the odds in our favor.
Gambler
We'll take the odds. Anything for an easy payday.
Gambler looks around.
Gambler
Let's blow this press conference. I've got better things to do.
Mauler
I've got a date with a local bar. I plan on being there until closing time.
The Destruction Crew & Gambler wander off, all of them talking at once. cene comes to a close.
