Post by Jillie on Apr 22, 2010 20:06:49 GMT -6
Scene opens in front of a Saturday Night Onslaught banner. Brenda Price is standing with “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu, “The Assassin” Rory Kotch and “The Other Girl” Petrina Rotchester, along with their manager, Xander Nova, none of whom look particularly pleased.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here with Y Kores, who are coming off a week vacation after losing to The Alley Ratz two weeks ago…
No thanks to Reaper and Cyanide, either. They didn’t need to stick their noses in our business. What did it matter to them which one of our teams cheated more than the other to win the match? I guess they didn’t want the embarrassment of losing their titles to a couple of chicks so they helped the Ratz win. I for one will be cheering loudly for Eddy and Twitch, seeing as how we lost this shot.
I guess that’s what we get for messin’ wi’ perfection.
What do you mean by that?
Well, Rory an’ I are the proven champs. We thought we’d switch it up a bit by throwin’ Adriana in the mix, but, as ye can see, that didn’ work so good. I said from the beginin’ it should be me n’ Rory, but nooooo…We can’ listen to the rookie.
Careful; your bitterness is showing…
Petrina scoffs and Brenda turns her attention to Rory.
Does that mean it will be back to Rory and Petrina this weekend when you face off against SiMox?
I don’t really know vhat in the vorld makes you think ve’re goink to tell you that in front of a camera. Ve don’t vant to spoil the surprise.
Uh…forgive me for going off topic a bit here, but…what’s the deal? You are all so cranky today…
We are cranky. You see, Brenda, we just can’t understand the boys around here. Take our opponents this week – SiMox. I am flipping channels and what do I see? Johnny and Simon flapping their yaps about how us three ladies “have been in SNW for as long as they remember” but we have never won a title. Furthermore, Johnny, the intelligent man he appears to be, wondered out loud why SNW keeps us employed, and Simon blabbed about us never having won a title between the three of us EVER.
Which is plain ignorance.
Yes. Here they are talkink about how ve are not takink this match seriously because ve have been silent to this point. In our opinion it is better to keep your mouth shut than spout off erroneous facts that make you look like an idiot.
That’s right. While they’ve been talkin’, we’ve actually been researchin’. We know who we’re up against this weekend. You lads have accomplished what you have, an’ we realize that our match against ye ain’t gonna be no walk in the park. But we don’ have to stand up here and spout off all the shit we’ve learned about you to make ourselves look better. Furthermore, even if we were gonna list off yer accomplishments, they sure as shit’d be ACCURATE. We know who we’re up against this weekend. You lads clearly don’t have a clue.
But I feel bad for their retarded asses, so let’s give them an education, shall we?
Xander pulls out his smart phone and hands it to Adriana.
Directly off the SNW website: “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu.
Born December 7, 1983.
Joined SNW in September, 2008 – That means I haven’t been here “as long as you can remember.” I’ve been here less than two years.
FCW Tag Team Champion, FCW Women's Champion, NAWA World Champion, NAWA Television Champion
That makes me a 4 time champion, boys. 4 time.
Adriana hands the smart phone to Rory.
”The Assassin” Rory Kotch.
Born June 5, 1979.
Joined SNW in April 2009 – Vhich means that I have also not been here “as lonk as you can remember.” I have been here a year.
FCW Tag Champ vith Viper, vhich, incidentally, vas the first time in FCW history a female had von a non-female title, FCW Vomen's Champ, and NAWA Tag Team Champ, vith Petrina Rotchester, vhich, incidentally, vas the first time in FCW, RMW and NAWA history that an all-girls team had von the men’s Tag Team Championship. That makes me a 3 time champion, Comrades, and two of those times vere record-settink.
Rory hands the phone to Petrina.
”The Other Girl” Petrina Rotchester.
Born November 13, 1985.
Joined SNW in May 2009, meanin’ I’ve been ‘ere less than a year.
NAWA Television Champion…
You didn’t actually win that title, I understand.
Oh, I won it. My opponent made ‘em restart the match, an’ I lost the second time, but that was a sham. As far as me and me fans are concerned, I WAS the bloody TV Champ.
Brenda raises her hand in surrender as Petrina continues.
An’ I’m also a record-settin’ NAWA Tag Team Champ, as Rory just explained. That makes me a 2 time Champ, lads. An’ I’m a rookie compared to these two.
Fair enough. Clearly SiMox didn’t know about your former accomplishments. But their argument about you not winning any titles since debuting here is valid.
It certainly is. As is their argument about our win-loss record, which must look horrible on paper. We admit that we don’t win very often. But what we DO is ENTERTAIN. This isn’t just a job for us. In fact, none of us actually NEED this job. We’re all, quite frankly, rich. We do this because we LOVE it. We go out there every single match we have and leave it all out on the mat. We could demand to be paired in matches against people our own size and gender. Instead, we demand the exact opposite. We demand that the SNW management put us in matches that will present challenges for us. When was the last time you saw us in the ring with another chick?
Ve have been battlink Age of SIN and Sports Authority as of late, and no vone can argue that ve didn’t hold our own in those matches, despite beink at a considerable size disadvantage. Ve gave Alley Ratz a run for their money two veeks ago. Yes, they got the vin, but ve didn’t make it easy for them.
An’ then there’s you two mis-educated clowns. As we’ve said, you’ll not be a walk in the park, an’ if we were concerned about winnin’ we’d be whinin’ to SNW management about puttin’ us with such team. As it is, we expect to ‘ave to work our asses off. We know a win ain’ guaranteed, but that ain’ gonna stop us from goin’ out there an’ givin’ it our all. If we win, good for us. If we lose, we at least know we gave the fans their money’s worth.
And that, boys, is why SNW keeps us around. We put asses in seats. We sell tickets. We make the fans buy your shit. We don’t do half-ass, we don’t do almost, we don’t do adequate – and the fans appreciate us for it. You’re right. None of us have won any titles in SNW. Yet. But that doesn’t matter to the fans. They know talent when they see it, and they know heart when they see it. They know that we could take the easy way and go sign a big fat contract with one of the two big promotions and make our money fighting in pillow matches, modeling in Playboy, and giving the 18-30 year old male demographic a hard on...
As if we don’ do that already…
Rory rolls her eyes and Adriana chuckles, slipping Petrina a high five for her observation.
The point is ve choose to take the hard road both because ve enjoy the challenge and also to prove a point. And if you don’t know vhat that point is by now, you need to get your memory checked. SNW keeps us around because the fans appreciate vhat ve do and how ve do it, titles or not.
Don’t mistake all this talk for apathy, though, lads. It’s not that we don’ care about titles. We do. An’ we will be ridin’ SNW managements’ asses to get us another shot at a #1 Contendership in the least. We’ve been here a year or two an’ we’ve been concentratin’ on makin’ our mark. Now that we’ve established ourselves down here in Texas, it’s time to start bringin’ in the hardware. But we’re not gonna do it by demandin’ a women’s title be instated, or by cheatin’ our way to the top. We’re content to start at the bottom o’the pile an’ work our way up.
And, seeing as how we lost a shot at a title two weeks ago, it’s back to square one for us, and you, SiMox, are the first unfortunate dolts at the bottom of the pile that we have to step on to start our climb.
I hope you boys have been payink attention. I hope you go back and do your homevork. Because from vhere ve’re standink it doesn’t really look like you know who you’re up against, and that makes us sad. Ve have vorked hard to get to vhere ve are, and to have you disregard our accomplishments makes us cranky.
An’ THAT, Brenda, is why we’re cranky.
Well, that certainly answered my question. I suppose there is nothing more to say than good luck, ladies, and we will see you on Saturday.
The scene fades.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here with Y Kores, who are coming off a week vacation after losing to The Alley Ratz two weeks ago…
No thanks to Reaper and Cyanide, either. They didn’t need to stick their noses in our business. What did it matter to them which one of our teams cheated more than the other to win the match? I guess they didn’t want the embarrassment of losing their titles to a couple of chicks so they helped the Ratz win. I for one will be cheering loudly for Eddy and Twitch, seeing as how we lost this shot.
I guess that’s what we get for messin’ wi’ perfection.
What do you mean by that?
Well, Rory an’ I are the proven champs. We thought we’d switch it up a bit by throwin’ Adriana in the mix, but, as ye can see, that didn’ work so good. I said from the beginin’ it should be me n’ Rory, but nooooo…We can’ listen to the rookie.
Careful; your bitterness is showing…
Petrina scoffs and Brenda turns her attention to Rory.
Does that mean it will be back to Rory and Petrina this weekend when you face off against SiMox?
I don’t really know vhat in the vorld makes you think ve’re goink to tell you that in front of a camera. Ve don’t vant to spoil the surprise.
Uh…forgive me for going off topic a bit here, but…what’s the deal? You are all so cranky today…
We are cranky. You see, Brenda, we just can’t understand the boys around here. Take our opponents this week – SiMox. I am flipping channels and what do I see? Johnny and Simon flapping their yaps about how us three ladies “have been in SNW for as long as they remember” but we have never won a title. Furthermore, Johnny, the intelligent man he appears to be, wondered out loud why SNW keeps us employed, and Simon blabbed about us never having won a title between the three of us EVER.
Which is plain ignorance.
Yes. Here they are talkink about how ve are not takink this match seriously because ve have been silent to this point. In our opinion it is better to keep your mouth shut than spout off erroneous facts that make you look like an idiot.
That’s right. While they’ve been talkin’, we’ve actually been researchin’. We know who we’re up against this weekend. You lads have accomplished what you have, an’ we realize that our match against ye ain’t gonna be no walk in the park. But we don’ have to stand up here and spout off all the shit we’ve learned about you to make ourselves look better. Furthermore, even if we were gonna list off yer accomplishments, they sure as shit’d be ACCURATE. We know who we’re up against this weekend. You lads clearly don’t have a clue.
But I feel bad for their retarded asses, so let’s give them an education, shall we?
Xander pulls out his smart phone and hands it to Adriana.
Directly off the SNW website: “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu.
Born December 7, 1983.
Joined SNW in September, 2008 – That means I haven’t been here “as long as you can remember.” I’ve been here less than two years.
FCW Tag Team Champion, FCW Women's Champion, NAWA World Champion, NAWA Television Champion
That makes me a 4 time champion, boys. 4 time.
Adriana hands the smart phone to Rory.
”The Assassin” Rory Kotch.
Born June 5, 1979.
Joined SNW in April 2009 – Vhich means that I have also not been here “as lonk as you can remember.” I have been here a year.
FCW Tag Champ vith Viper, vhich, incidentally, vas the first time in FCW history a female had von a non-female title, FCW Vomen's Champ, and NAWA Tag Team Champ, vith Petrina Rotchester, vhich, incidentally, vas the first time in FCW, RMW and NAWA history that an all-girls team had von the men’s Tag Team Championship. That makes me a 3 time champion, Comrades, and two of those times vere record-settink.
Rory hands the phone to Petrina.
”The Other Girl” Petrina Rotchester.
Born November 13, 1985.
Joined SNW in May 2009, meanin’ I’ve been ‘ere less than a year.
NAWA Television Champion…
You didn’t actually win that title, I understand.
Oh, I won it. My opponent made ‘em restart the match, an’ I lost the second time, but that was a sham. As far as me and me fans are concerned, I WAS the bloody TV Champ.
Brenda raises her hand in surrender as Petrina continues.
An’ I’m also a record-settin’ NAWA Tag Team Champ, as Rory just explained. That makes me a 2 time Champ, lads. An’ I’m a rookie compared to these two.
Fair enough. Clearly SiMox didn’t know about your former accomplishments. But their argument about you not winning any titles since debuting here is valid.
It certainly is. As is their argument about our win-loss record, which must look horrible on paper. We admit that we don’t win very often. But what we DO is ENTERTAIN. This isn’t just a job for us. In fact, none of us actually NEED this job. We’re all, quite frankly, rich. We do this because we LOVE it. We go out there every single match we have and leave it all out on the mat. We could demand to be paired in matches against people our own size and gender. Instead, we demand the exact opposite. We demand that the SNW management put us in matches that will present challenges for us. When was the last time you saw us in the ring with another chick?
Ve have been battlink Age of SIN and Sports Authority as of late, and no vone can argue that ve didn’t hold our own in those matches, despite beink at a considerable size disadvantage. Ve gave Alley Ratz a run for their money two veeks ago. Yes, they got the vin, but ve didn’t make it easy for them.
An’ then there’s you two mis-educated clowns. As we’ve said, you’ll not be a walk in the park, an’ if we were concerned about winnin’ we’d be whinin’ to SNW management about puttin’ us with such team. As it is, we expect to ‘ave to work our asses off. We know a win ain’ guaranteed, but that ain’ gonna stop us from goin’ out there an’ givin’ it our all. If we win, good for us. If we lose, we at least know we gave the fans their money’s worth.
And that, boys, is why SNW keeps us around. We put asses in seats. We sell tickets. We make the fans buy your shit. We don’t do half-ass, we don’t do almost, we don’t do adequate – and the fans appreciate us for it. You’re right. None of us have won any titles in SNW. Yet. But that doesn’t matter to the fans. They know talent when they see it, and they know heart when they see it. They know that we could take the easy way and go sign a big fat contract with one of the two big promotions and make our money fighting in pillow matches, modeling in Playboy, and giving the 18-30 year old male demographic a hard on...
As if we don’ do that already…
Rory rolls her eyes and Adriana chuckles, slipping Petrina a high five for her observation.
The point is ve choose to take the hard road both because ve enjoy the challenge and also to prove a point. And if you don’t know vhat that point is by now, you need to get your memory checked. SNW keeps us around because the fans appreciate vhat ve do and how ve do it, titles or not.
Don’t mistake all this talk for apathy, though, lads. It’s not that we don’ care about titles. We do. An’ we will be ridin’ SNW managements’ asses to get us another shot at a #1 Contendership in the least. We’ve been here a year or two an’ we’ve been concentratin’ on makin’ our mark. Now that we’ve established ourselves down here in Texas, it’s time to start bringin’ in the hardware. But we’re not gonna do it by demandin’ a women’s title be instated, or by cheatin’ our way to the top. We’re content to start at the bottom o’the pile an’ work our way up.
And, seeing as how we lost a shot at a title two weeks ago, it’s back to square one for us, and you, SiMox, are the first unfortunate dolts at the bottom of the pile that we have to step on to start our climb.
I hope you boys have been payink attention. I hope you go back and do your homevork. Because from vhere ve’re standink it doesn’t really look like you know who you’re up against, and that makes us sad. Ve have vorked hard to get to vhere ve are, and to have you disregard our accomplishments makes us cranky.
An’ THAT, Brenda, is why we’re cranky.
Well, that certainly answered my question. I suppose there is nothing more to say than good luck, ladies, and we will see you on Saturday.
The scene fades.
