Post by "Classy" djowalsen on Mar 4, 2010 21:49:09 GMT -6
[Shot opens with a big American flag as a background. Tom Foolery paces before the flag in full "Sports Authority" sweats, hat and suglasses. Vinny Appice, Tony Manzetti and Manny Saul are sitting in front of him in their street clothes, Manny's being a lot fancier.]
Tom Foolery [Still pacing]: Gentlemen, I think we all knew it would come to this. I think we all knew we wanted this. Now, there will be no room for error. There will be no room for their...
[Manny holds up his hand]
Manny Saul: dirty pennuffering!
Vinny Appice: That's not a word!
Manny Saul: And "gotta" is?
Tom Foolery: Gentlemen, please. This ain't my first...
Manny Saul: "Ain't" isn't a word...
[Tom gets right in Manny's face.]
Tom Foolery [shouting]: If "Ain't" ain't a word, then why did I just say it?
Manny Saul: Uh... well...
[Tom Withdraws.]
Tom Foolery: You see, that's what I'm talking about. You get one little win under your belt and all of a sudden you're spillin' out of yer britches. That's what happens to you time and time again. You get one thing to hand your hat on and then you let the next guy who walks in come and steal it. What we need is consistency. How did I win all of those High School football championships?
Tony Manzetti [pointing to Vinny and himself]: Us?
Tom Foolery: Shut the hell up! As fare as we're concerned, we met at FCW. [gives hard winks]. The REAL reason why I won so many championships was consistency. I never let my boys get too high or too low. Right now, we're riding high, and that's good, but ridin' high is no good if you're just going to nosedive the next second. We've got to stay hungry. We've got to keep piling on the pressure. Y Kores are just like all women, all they want to do is bring you down. They'll nag about "cheatin'" and not being fair, but hell, I've been on this earth some fifty damn years and I hadn't ever believed that a damn thing was fair. No one ever won a war by playing fair. They won wars by being dirtier and meaner than the poor son of a bitch standin' in his way. They want to take away your victories, but you already got them and no amount of whining is going to change that.
Tony Manzetti: Yeah!
Vinny Appice: Yeah, until they take over the government...
Tom Foolery: ANYWAY... We are sportsmen. Not just because we're all great athletes, which we are, but because we know the there is no "I" in sports. It's all about a team, and teams need all kinds of people. Not everyone here believes the same things. Some of us believe in higher education.
[Manny smiles and nods]
Tom Foolery: Some of us believe in conspiracy theories.
[Vinny smiles and nods.]
Tom Foolery: Some of believe in the evil Lord Xenu.
[Tony smiles and nods]
Tom Foolery: ...but we ALL believe that there is no better group of individuals than the this one right here, except maybe the 1970 Dallas Cowboys.
[Everyone murmurs in agreement]
Tom Foolery: But as far as wrestling goes, there is no better team. Y Kores can whine better than any New York Giants fan, but they can't beat anyone any more than the St. Louis Rams. Everyone put your hands in!
[Manny, Vinny and Tony put their hands in.]
Tom Foolery: Sports on the 3! One...two...
Tony Manzetti: Sports!
[Everyone groans and leaves the circle, Tony stands confused.]
Tony Manzetti: What? Is that wrong?
[fin]
Tom Foolery [Still pacing]: Gentlemen, I think we all knew it would come to this. I think we all knew we wanted this. Now, there will be no room for error. There will be no room for their...
[Manny holds up his hand]
Manny Saul: dirty pennuffering!
Vinny Appice: That's not a word!
Manny Saul: And "gotta" is?
Tom Foolery: Gentlemen, please. This ain't my first...
Manny Saul: "Ain't" isn't a word...
[Tom gets right in Manny's face.]
Tom Foolery [shouting]: If "Ain't" ain't a word, then why did I just say it?
Manny Saul: Uh... well...
[Tom Withdraws.]
Tom Foolery: You see, that's what I'm talking about. You get one little win under your belt and all of a sudden you're spillin' out of yer britches. That's what happens to you time and time again. You get one thing to hand your hat on and then you let the next guy who walks in come and steal it. What we need is consistency. How did I win all of those High School football championships?
Tony Manzetti [pointing to Vinny and himself]: Us?
Tom Foolery: Shut the hell up! As fare as we're concerned, we met at FCW. [gives hard winks]. The REAL reason why I won so many championships was consistency. I never let my boys get too high or too low. Right now, we're riding high, and that's good, but ridin' high is no good if you're just going to nosedive the next second. We've got to stay hungry. We've got to keep piling on the pressure. Y Kores are just like all women, all they want to do is bring you down. They'll nag about "cheatin'" and not being fair, but hell, I've been on this earth some fifty damn years and I hadn't ever believed that a damn thing was fair. No one ever won a war by playing fair. They won wars by being dirtier and meaner than the poor son of a bitch standin' in his way. They want to take away your victories, but you already got them and no amount of whining is going to change that.
Tony Manzetti: Yeah!
Vinny Appice: Yeah, until they take over the government...
Tom Foolery: ANYWAY... We are sportsmen. Not just because we're all great athletes, which we are, but because we know the there is no "I" in sports. It's all about a team, and teams need all kinds of people. Not everyone here believes the same things. Some of us believe in higher education.
[Manny smiles and nods]
Tom Foolery: Some of us believe in conspiracy theories.
[Vinny smiles and nods.]
Tom Foolery: Some of believe in the evil Lord Xenu.
[Tony smiles and nods]
Tom Foolery: ...but we ALL believe that there is no better group of individuals than the this one right here, except maybe the 1970 Dallas Cowboys.
[Everyone murmurs in agreement]
Tom Foolery: But as far as wrestling goes, there is no better team. Y Kores can whine better than any New York Giants fan, but they can't beat anyone any more than the St. Louis Rams. Everyone put your hands in!
[Manny, Vinny and Tony put their hands in.]
Tom Foolery: Sports on the 3! One...two...
Tony Manzetti: Sports!
[Everyone groans and leaves the circle, Tony stands confused.]
Tony Manzetti: What? Is that wrong?
[fin]