Post by Jillie on Feb 23, 2010 22:45:15 GMT -6
Scene opens at an apartment-style condo somewhere in Fort Worth. The camera is focused on “The Other Girl” Petrina Rotchester and “The Assassin” Rory Kotch, who are sitting opposite each other at a small dining room table, and Brenda Price, who is also sitting at the table facing the camera.
BP – Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here with Y Kores. Adriana Samu was kind enough to invite us into her Fort Worth residence. But…uh…she seems to be unable to join us at the moment…
RK – She’s over there havink a mental breakdown.
Kotch thumbs over behind Brenda. In the background is a big screen TV across from a leather couch, where we can see “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu sitting, her Rottweiler, Kaos, lounging on the floor at her feet. Samu, wearing a Team Canada Olympic Hockey jersey, is clearly distressed about whatever is going on on the TV.
AS – Come on, people! That little round rubber thing goes IN the net!
PR – She’s watchin’ ‘ockey. I don’ think it’s goin’ too good.
RK – The only reason ve’re here is because she refuses to miss a Canadian Olympic hockey game, and because ve’re in Texas she has to vatch here, on satellite.
PR – Even though they’re playin’ the States tonight, for some reason these people in Texas aren’t very excited about it. None o’the pubs around were showin’ the game.
We hear a buzzer from the TV and Samu throws her arms up in the air and cheers with the television crowd.
BP – Alrighty then. First things first, Petrina, you successfully beat Tony Manzetti last week….
PR – Jus’ like I said I would.
BP – Rory has already faced off against Manny Saul, a match that went to a double disqualification because of outside interference. As managers and allies are banned from ringside this time around, how do you plan to get the upper hand?
PR – Well, I dunno if ye actually watched me last match, love, but I didn’t need any managers or allies to kick Tony’s arse. It was no walk in the park, I’ll admit, an’ I don’ expect Manny’ll give up too easy either, but I think I’ve got it covered. As I said last week, I’ve been trained by some o’the best in the business, that bein’ Rory Kotch an’ Xander Nova, an’ Adriana’s been me manager, lettin’ me in on the secrets of fightin’ smart as well as hard…
Another buzzer sounds and this time Samu’s cry is one of despair. She turns to the three ladies at the dining room table.
AS – I don’t mean to interrupt, but I have a question. Am I mistaken, or is it not the job of the goalie to stay IN the net, thereby PREVENTING the other team from SCORING!?
Brenda opens her mouth to answer but Kotch smirks and shakes her head.
RK – That vas rhetorical. It is best just to not talk to her right now if you value your health and vellbeink.
BP – Ok…
PR – Ha. That’s pro’lly Sports Authority’s strategy right now, too.
RK – Vhat do you mean?
PR – They haven’t said a word since they was on that show. Feminocracy? ‘Member that? Seems they took our advice to put up ‘r shut up. All they did for the first couple encounters with us ladies was yap. Blah blah blah. All of a sudden they ain’t winnin’ matches an’ they ‘ave nothin’ to say. I’m not surprised m’self. These types always sulk in the corner when they get beaten.
BP – And what type is that?
PR – Ye got’em in every sport. They’re the jocks that do all the bloody talkin’ but when the time comes to put their money where their mouths are, they buckle under the pressure and choke. The Sports Authority are no different. They were talkin’ a big game, yappin’ ‘bout how we shouldn’t even be allowed to compete ‘cause o’ reasons I can’ mention wi’ Dria in the room. The pressure was on for them to getta win without cheatin’ us outta the double-ya, so Tony came out an’ made the effort. Foolhardy didn’ even so much as twitch a muscle. An’ I won fair ‘n square, with a resounding 1...2…3. What d’they ‘ave to say about it? They can’ complain ‘bout us cheatin’ ‘cause we didn’. They can’ complain ‘bout us bein’ inferior to them ‘cause we jus’ proved that we ain’t. They can’ even complain that we’re GONNA cheat, ‘cause even if we wanted or needed to, we can’t. Xander’s gonna be nowhere in sight, and me girls are gonna hafta watch from the back. Where does that leave ‘em, huh? Nowhere, that’s where.
BP – It sounds like you’re saying you’re going to repeat your performance from last week…
PR – It sounds that way, yeah, but I’m not stupid, love. Jus’ cause they ain’ allowed to cheat don’t mean they won’t try. Tony tried to play a clean game last time an’ ‘e lost. Now tell me, if that was you, wouldn’t ye go back to yer old tried and true ways? I fully expect Manny to use that li’l brain of ‘is this week. The thing Manny an’ ol’ Foolhardy need t’remember is that a double-ya in me column looks the same whether I get it with a Dublin DDT ‘r a chair to me own head. One way or another, Y Kores is gettin’ the point, whether I gotta earn it the old fashioned way or Manny’s gonna get ‘imself disqualified.
Samu suddenly lets out a cry of agony and buries her head in her hands.
RK – Vhat happened?
Samu mumbles something through her hands that no one can understand.
PR – What?
Samu looks up, pain on her face.
AS – Canada pulled the goalie. The US just scored on an empty net. Not that we haven’t had an empty net the whole damned time anyway. The game’s over. We lost.
Everyone stares at Samu as she gets up solemnly and disappears down the hall.
BP – Wow. She took that pretty hard. Was that for the Gold?
Kotch laughs.
RK – It vas a round robin game. It really doesn’t matter that they lost. Eliminations don’t start until later this veek.
BP – She’s that upset over a round robin game?
PR – She’s Canadian. Those people’re crazy.
Brenda continues to sit in confusion as Rotchester and Kotch continue chatting to end the scene.
BP – Ladies and Gentlemen, I am here with Y Kores. Adriana Samu was kind enough to invite us into her Fort Worth residence. But…uh…she seems to be unable to join us at the moment…
RK – She’s over there havink a mental breakdown.
Kotch thumbs over behind Brenda. In the background is a big screen TV across from a leather couch, where we can see “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu sitting, her Rottweiler, Kaos, lounging on the floor at her feet. Samu, wearing a Team Canada Olympic Hockey jersey, is clearly distressed about whatever is going on on the TV.
AS – Come on, people! That little round rubber thing goes IN the net!
PR – She’s watchin’ ‘ockey. I don’ think it’s goin’ too good.
RK – The only reason ve’re here is because she refuses to miss a Canadian Olympic hockey game, and because ve’re in Texas she has to vatch here, on satellite.
PR – Even though they’re playin’ the States tonight, for some reason these people in Texas aren’t very excited about it. None o’the pubs around were showin’ the game.
We hear a buzzer from the TV and Samu throws her arms up in the air and cheers with the television crowd.
BP – Alrighty then. First things first, Petrina, you successfully beat Tony Manzetti last week….
PR – Jus’ like I said I would.
BP – Rory has already faced off against Manny Saul, a match that went to a double disqualification because of outside interference. As managers and allies are banned from ringside this time around, how do you plan to get the upper hand?
PR – Well, I dunno if ye actually watched me last match, love, but I didn’t need any managers or allies to kick Tony’s arse. It was no walk in the park, I’ll admit, an’ I don’ expect Manny’ll give up too easy either, but I think I’ve got it covered. As I said last week, I’ve been trained by some o’the best in the business, that bein’ Rory Kotch an’ Xander Nova, an’ Adriana’s been me manager, lettin’ me in on the secrets of fightin’ smart as well as hard…
Another buzzer sounds and this time Samu’s cry is one of despair. She turns to the three ladies at the dining room table.
AS – I don’t mean to interrupt, but I have a question. Am I mistaken, or is it not the job of the goalie to stay IN the net, thereby PREVENTING the other team from SCORING!?
Brenda opens her mouth to answer but Kotch smirks and shakes her head.
RK – That vas rhetorical. It is best just to not talk to her right now if you value your health and vellbeink.
BP – Ok…
PR – Ha. That’s pro’lly Sports Authority’s strategy right now, too.
RK – Vhat do you mean?
PR – They haven’t said a word since they was on that show. Feminocracy? ‘Member that? Seems they took our advice to put up ‘r shut up. All they did for the first couple encounters with us ladies was yap. Blah blah blah. All of a sudden they ain’t winnin’ matches an’ they ‘ave nothin’ to say. I’m not surprised m’self. These types always sulk in the corner when they get beaten.
BP – And what type is that?
PR – Ye got’em in every sport. They’re the jocks that do all the bloody talkin’ but when the time comes to put their money where their mouths are, they buckle under the pressure and choke. The Sports Authority are no different. They were talkin’ a big game, yappin’ ‘bout how we shouldn’t even be allowed to compete ‘cause o’ reasons I can’ mention wi’ Dria in the room. The pressure was on for them to getta win without cheatin’ us outta the double-ya, so Tony came out an’ made the effort. Foolhardy didn’ even so much as twitch a muscle. An’ I won fair ‘n square, with a resounding 1...2…3. What d’they ‘ave to say about it? They can’ complain ‘bout us cheatin’ ‘cause we didn’. They can’ complain ‘bout us bein’ inferior to them ‘cause we jus’ proved that we ain’t. They can’ even complain that we’re GONNA cheat, ‘cause even if we wanted or needed to, we can’t. Xander’s gonna be nowhere in sight, and me girls are gonna hafta watch from the back. Where does that leave ‘em, huh? Nowhere, that’s where.
BP – It sounds like you’re saying you’re going to repeat your performance from last week…
PR – It sounds that way, yeah, but I’m not stupid, love. Jus’ cause they ain’ allowed to cheat don’t mean they won’t try. Tony tried to play a clean game last time an’ ‘e lost. Now tell me, if that was you, wouldn’t ye go back to yer old tried and true ways? I fully expect Manny to use that li’l brain of ‘is this week. The thing Manny an’ ol’ Foolhardy need t’remember is that a double-ya in me column looks the same whether I get it with a Dublin DDT ‘r a chair to me own head. One way or another, Y Kores is gettin’ the point, whether I gotta earn it the old fashioned way or Manny’s gonna get ‘imself disqualified.
Samu suddenly lets out a cry of agony and buries her head in her hands.
RK – Vhat happened?
Samu mumbles something through her hands that no one can understand.
PR – What?
Samu looks up, pain on her face.
AS – Canada pulled the goalie. The US just scored on an empty net. Not that we haven’t had an empty net the whole damned time anyway. The game’s over. We lost.
Everyone stares at Samu as she gets up solemnly and disappears down the hall.
BP – Wow. She took that pretty hard. Was that for the Gold?
Kotch laughs.
RK – It vas a round robin game. It really doesn’t matter that they lost. Eliminations don’t start until later this veek.
BP – She’s that upset over a round robin game?
PR – She’s Canadian. Those people’re crazy.
Brenda continues to sit in confusion as Rotchester and Kotch continue chatting to end the scene.
