Post by freak on Dec 19, 2008 22:41:59 GMT -6
Jack Clinton is waiting for his friend, 8-time former world champion Chris P., to come to his house so they can watch what everybody's had to say since he spoke last.
Chris finally arrives.
Where the hell were you?
It's hard to get to your house these days.
We got some good ones, let me tell you.
Well, fire up the damn DVD player, bitch!
We start with Adriana Samu's promo, specifically targeting Clinton.
Who's this Jackie person?
Last I checked there wasn't any Jackie in this match.
Check it out, PMS from North of the Border.
Do rivers run red in Canada?
No, they run clear, because apparently Canadians don't bleed.
Ohhhh Canada...
Yeah, you list a bunch of Canadian wrestlers...am I supposed to be impressed?
Who is she to think she matters?
Yeah, she matters...at making me a sandwich. You're out of your league, bitch, and you're gonna get hurt. BAD. You want to talk about being mentioned in the same sentence as the Harts. Okay. After the match you're gonna be mentioned in the same sentence as Owen. How about that, you little dyke?
We then go to Andrew's promo.
Yeah, no.
Bigger load in his didey, I guess.
Clinton fast forwards.
He looks even more retarded talking in fast motion than he does in real time.
I'm afraid to see what he looks like in slowmo.
God, don't even make me think about that!
We now come to Johnny Moxie.
Oh great, the reject Soprano is back.
Johnny talks about fans.
Do you think I care what fans think of me? Hello? Are you new to this party?
Johnny talks about the insults.
Says the guy named Johnny Moxie.
Johnny talks about "hiring any Joe Schmo".
Yeah, that would be the only reason why you have a job. Hey, didn't I just hire you to weed my backyard last week?
"God Standard."
God standard? Did I say God standard? Gold standard, perhaps, but God standard? You know, I actually like the sound of that...thanks, Johnny Cock-Lacking.
Johnny talks about what he's going to do.
Dude, if you even come within an inch of me, your ass is going down. Don't even, bitch.
I am gonna make damn sure that you do not make the final four. Not you, not Dykey little Adriana, Not Andrew Smith...well, actually, I might want to make sure Raggedy Andy makes it through to the final four. It just might torture him a little more.
But you want to know the truth? You can ignore, pile on, pretend all you want that I ain't here. It's only gonna make the harsh reality you face when I place myself in the final four thanks to taking it out on all of you morons who dared to cross me even worse.
Allow me to remind you who I am, guys. My name is Jack Clinton. I come from California. I've got more money than I know what to do with and more wrestling talent than anybody on this roster. I'm 7', 300+ pounds of pure wrestling perfection. I am truly the only gold standard in this company. Why I'm not being elevated to the SNW Texas Championship is beyond me, but I ain't scared to work my way up. I'm gonna get there eventually anyway, so why not start at the bottom?
This is what's going to happen. I'm gonna go out there, win a spot in the final four. If I feel charitable, I may not bust all of your dumb ass faces open just for inconveniencing me. I may just let you take each other out and wait for the cream to rise to the top.
Nah.
But the bottom line is this...this ain't over. It's just beginning.
And after I beat and bloody all of your stupid asses...where will you go? What will you do?
If there is a god, straight to the unemployment line.
FTB.
Chris finally arrives.
Where the hell were you?
It's hard to get to your house these days.
We got some good ones, let me tell you.
Well, fire up the damn DVD player, bitch!
We start with Adriana Samu's promo, specifically targeting Clinton.
Who's this Jackie person?
Last I checked there wasn't any Jackie in this match.
Check it out, PMS from North of the Border.
Do rivers run red in Canada?
No, they run clear, because apparently Canadians don't bleed.
Ohhhh Canada...
Yeah, you list a bunch of Canadian wrestlers...am I supposed to be impressed?
Who is she to think she matters?
Yeah, she matters...at making me a sandwich. You're out of your league, bitch, and you're gonna get hurt. BAD. You want to talk about being mentioned in the same sentence as the Harts. Okay. After the match you're gonna be mentioned in the same sentence as Owen. How about that, you little dyke?
We then go to Andrew's promo.
Yeah, no.
Bigger load in his didey, I guess.
Clinton fast forwards.
He looks even more retarded talking in fast motion than he does in real time.
I'm afraid to see what he looks like in slowmo.
God, don't even make me think about that!
We now come to Johnny Moxie.
Oh great, the reject Soprano is back.
Johnny talks about fans.
Do you think I care what fans think of me? Hello? Are you new to this party?
Johnny talks about the insults.
Says the guy named Johnny Moxie.
Johnny talks about "hiring any Joe Schmo".
Yeah, that would be the only reason why you have a job. Hey, didn't I just hire you to weed my backyard last week?
"God Standard."
God standard? Did I say God standard? Gold standard, perhaps, but God standard? You know, I actually like the sound of that...thanks, Johnny Cock-Lacking.
Johnny talks about what he's going to do.
Dude, if you even come within an inch of me, your ass is going down. Don't even, bitch.
I am gonna make damn sure that you do not make the final four. Not you, not Dykey little Adriana, Not Andrew Smith...well, actually, I might want to make sure Raggedy Andy makes it through to the final four. It just might torture him a little more.
But you want to know the truth? You can ignore, pile on, pretend all you want that I ain't here. It's only gonna make the harsh reality you face when I place myself in the final four thanks to taking it out on all of you morons who dared to cross me even worse.
Allow me to remind you who I am, guys. My name is Jack Clinton. I come from California. I've got more money than I know what to do with and more wrestling talent than anybody on this roster. I'm 7', 300+ pounds of pure wrestling perfection. I am truly the only gold standard in this company. Why I'm not being elevated to the SNW Texas Championship is beyond me, but I ain't scared to work my way up. I'm gonna get there eventually anyway, so why not start at the bottom?
This is what's going to happen. I'm gonna go out there, win a spot in the final four. If I feel charitable, I may not bust all of your dumb ass faces open just for inconveniencing me. I may just let you take each other out and wait for the cream to rise to the top.
Nah.
But the bottom line is this...this ain't over. It's just beginning.
And after I beat and bloody all of your stupid asses...where will you go? What will you do?
If there is a god, straight to the unemployment line.
FTB.
