Post by freak on Dec 16, 2008 2:06:53 GMT -6
Jack Clinton again is sitting watching promos and has just finished watching Johnny Moxie's promo. He's laughing. Why?
So let me get this straight. I've been all around the world, from one continent to the next. I've fought in sold out arenas, bingo halls, in the middle of the friggin' desert. And what's the thanks I get? People continuing to pop off and ignore. Acting like they've seen what I have to offer before. Acting like they could care less about where I come from, who I am, and what I'm about. Well, we all know what happens to people like that...at least, a lot of you here know. For those of you that don't, well, you always have to learn the hard way.
And let me get this straight. There have been many people over the years who have had the balls enough to step into the ring with me. Every single one of them has tried, some have succeeded, but more often than not they all fail at some point against me. And those that succeeded, well, most of us know who they were. They were big names. HUGE names. And those that failed? Well, they had names like Johnny Moxie.
Johnny Moxie? What the hell is that supposed to be? A reject twenties gangster? This guy wants to portray himself as the ultimate tough guy, the guy to beat in this match, and I'm supposed to take him seriously with a name like Johnny Moxie? Why doesn't he just change his name to Jane Moxie, or Johnny Homosexual? It would be along the same lines. Johnny Moxie...what the hell, man? This is one of the best this company has to offer? A guy who couldn't make the cut on The Sopranos? What the crap? Some greaser straight out of 1957? Gimme a break, man. Come up with a better nickname. It'll suit you in the long run.
I gotta step in the ring with this joker? It's bad enough that I got people in the ring with me this time out that I could just roll over like nothing and not even break a sweat. But now I got guys like this friggin' idiot with a twenties gangster name? For Christ's sake, guys, where the hell am I? SNW or Fantasy Island? It's this kind of crap that makes me just want to tear up my contract and go somewhere else. Jokers like this, who want to pretend to be something that they're not.
It just sort of makes me wonder just the kind of people that we have working here. What the hell kind of company is this anyway? Do we just hire jokers off the street, dress them up in terrible gimmicks, and then put them in the ring where they don't belong? I mean, come on. Who's the guy who decided to give this idiot a name like Johnny Goddamned Moxie, huh? Is Vince Russo running this company secretly? What's next, we're gonna have wrestling penises?
I'm sorry. I'm getting too far ahead of myself here. I really wanted to just address Johnny Two-Bit, but instead I've gone off on a tangent. So instead I'll just go back to where I was. It's just...this guy really pissed me off, you know? I mean, this guy wants to act like he's the best thing to happen to wrestling since Chris Jericho left WWE and instead he comes across as the worst thing to happen to wrestling since Chris Jericho decided to come back to WWE as the most boring man on the face of the earth.
Okay, back to Johnny No-Balls. I mean, give me a break. The first thing you start off with is one of the lamest jokes in American wrestling history. I mean, come on, who are you trying to be? A reject gangster or the worst comedian this side of a dunk tank sitter? Hey, Johnny Needle-Dick, why did the chicken cross the road?
I noticed you had to struggle with the line where you said I claimed that I was a gold standard. And it's an obvious struggle. You obviously added in a little too much, Johnny Butt-Dumpling. I don't claim to be a gold standard...I am the gold standard. Forget half-assed losers like Shelton Benjamin. I am the only man in this company who can claim that title, and before long everyone is going to know just who Jack Clinton really is.
"God's gift to wrestling?" Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, Johnny Turd-Burglar, but it does have a nice ring to it. Thank you for considering me to be that. Oh wait, that's right, you don't, because you think that by posing as a reject Mafia member from The Sopranos you instantly become a star. Call me when you come up with a better gimmick, loser.
So nice of you to notice my speaking style. Yes, I do run my mouth. Thank you for noticing. I speak my mind, and anyone who doesn't is an idiot. Oh, I see you do the same thing. I'm a little less prone to have my foot in my mouth than you are, Johnny Little-Tard, but that's cool. You do what you gotta do your way, okay?
But that's where you start to lose me. You say that I'm just like everyone you've ever come across before. The fact is, Johnny Monkey-Dildo, that I am not like anyone you've ever come across before. I am a 7 foot tall, 300+ pound wrestling machine. Do you grasp the gravity of that statement, Johnny Man-With-Vagina? I am not just your normal big man...I am the best big man in the history of wrestling!
And when I step in the ring with the rest of the idiots who are gonna be gunning for me, you all are going to realize that. One by one, I'm going to take you out. Every single person that dares to cross me is going to be taken out. And at the end of the match, forget a final four. I will be the last man standing. And I will go on to take the Von Erich title. And then I will take the SNW Texas Championship and I will be the top dog in this company. And when that happens, each and every one of you walking around thinking that I'm just going to fade away are going to have to make a decision...either join up with the gold standard or be run over by the train.
Oh, this ain't over...it's just beginning.
FTB.
So let me get this straight. I've been all around the world, from one continent to the next. I've fought in sold out arenas, bingo halls, in the middle of the friggin' desert. And what's the thanks I get? People continuing to pop off and ignore. Acting like they've seen what I have to offer before. Acting like they could care less about where I come from, who I am, and what I'm about. Well, we all know what happens to people like that...at least, a lot of you here know. For those of you that don't, well, you always have to learn the hard way.
And let me get this straight. There have been many people over the years who have had the balls enough to step into the ring with me. Every single one of them has tried, some have succeeded, but more often than not they all fail at some point against me. And those that succeeded, well, most of us know who they were. They were big names. HUGE names. And those that failed? Well, they had names like Johnny Moxie.
Johnny Moxie? What the hell is that supposed to be? A reject twenties gangster? This guy wants to portray himself as the ultimate tough guy, the guy to beat in this match, and I'm supposed to take him seriously with a name like Johnny Moxie? Why doesn't he just change his name to Jane Moxie, or Johnny Homosexual? It would be along the same lines. Johnny Moxie...what the hell, man? This is one of the best this company has to offer? A guy who couldn't make the cut on The Sopranos? What the crap? Some greaser straight out of 1957? Gimme a break, man. Come up with a better nickname. It'll suit you in the long run.
I gotta step in the ring with this joker? It's bad enough that I got people in the ring with me this time out that I could just roll over like nothing and not even break a sweat. But now I got guys like this friggin' idiot with a twenties gangster name? For Christ's sake, guys, where the hell am I? SNW or Fantasy Island? It's this kind of crap that makes me just want to tear up my contract and go somewhere else. Jokers like this, who want to pretend to be something that they're not.
It just sort of makes me wonder just the kind of people that we have working here. What the hell kind of company is this anyway? Do we just hire jokers off the street, dress them up in terrible gimmicks, and then put them in the ring where they don't belong? I mean, come on. Who's the guy who decided to give this idiot a name like Johnny Goddamned Moxie, huh? Is Vince Russo running this company secretly? What's next, we're gonna have wrestling penises?
I'm sorry. I'm getting too far ahead of myself here. I really wanted to just address Johnny Two-Bit, but instead I've gone off on a tangent. So instead I'll just go back to where I was. It's just...this guy really pissed me off, you know? I mean, this guy wants to act like he's the best thing to happen to wrestling since Chris Jericho left WWE and instead he comes across as the worst thing to happen to wrestling since Chris Jericho decided to come back to WWE as the most boring man on the face of the earth.
Okay, back to Johnny No-Balls. I mean, give me a break. The first thing you start off with is one of the lamest jokes in American wrestling history. I mean, come on, who are you trying to be? A reject gangster or the worst comedian this side of a dunk tank sitter? Hey, Johnny Needle-Dick, why did the chicken cross the road?
I noticed you had to struggle with the line where you said I claimed that I was a gold standard. And it's an obvious struggle. You obviously added in a little too much, Johnny Butt-Dumpling. I don't claim to be a gold standard...I am the gold standard. Forget half-assed losers like Shelton Benjamin. I am the only man in this company who can claim that title, and before long everyone is going to know just who Jack Clinton really is.
"God's gift to wrestling?" Well, I wouldn't have put it that way, Johnny Turd-Burglar, but it does have a nice ring to it. Thank you for considering me to be that. Oh wait, that's right, you don't, because you think that by posing as a reject Mafia member from The Sopranos you instantly become a star. Call me when you come up with a better gimmick, loser.
So nice of you to notice my speaking style. Yes, I do run my mouth. Thank you for noticing. I speak my mind, and anyone who doesn't is an idiot. Oh, I see you do the same thing. I'm a little less prone to have my foot in my mouth than you are, Johnny Little-Tard, but that's cool. You do what you gotta do your way, okay?
But that's where you start to lose me. You say that I'm just like everyone you've ever come across before. The fact is, Johnny Monkey-Dildo, that I am not like anyone you've ever come across before. I am a 7 foot tall, 300+ pound wrestling machine. Do you grasp the gravity of that statement, Johnny Man-With-Vagina? I am not just your normal big man...I am the best big man in the history of wrestling!
And when I step in the ring with the rest of the idiots who are gonna be gunning for me, you all are going to realize that. One by one, I'm going to take you out. Every single person that dares to cross me is going to be taken out. And at the end of the match, forget a final four. I will be the last man standing. And I will go on to take the Von Erich title. And then I will take the SNW Texas Championship and I will be the top dog in this company. And when that happens, each and every one of you walking around thinking that I'm just going to fade away are going to have to make a decision...either join up with the gold standard or be run over by the train.
Oh, this ain't over...it's just beginning.
FTB.
