Post by Hollywood on Sept 29, 2008 16:44:34 GMT -6
The Sports Nutz almost imploded before everyone's eyes on the 9/21/08 edition of Onslaught. However, Matt Margera came out and prevented the implosion, reminding George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller of how it was them that helped train Matt for his wrestling career, and how it was the fans and wrestling promoters that turned them against each other.
To celebrate the rebirth of the Sports Authority, Matt Margera, Codi Shane, George Dunpork, Craig "Senior" Mueller and "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath decided to celebrate by heading down to Gameworks in Grapevine, Texas. The line was quite long for the indy car race arcade, where six metal game cars that resembled race cars were connected to their respective game screens. Matt, Codi, George and Craig all sighed at the sight of the long line, but Gordie had a plan as he approached the employee in charge of the line.
EMPLOYEE
Sir, you'll have to wait in line.
GORDIE
See, that's what I came here to talk to you about...
Gordie proceeded to talk to the employee, and took out several $100 bills. The employee accepted the bribe, then Gordie waved Matt, Codi, Craig and George to the come to the front of the line. All of the kids and adults waiting in line screamed and hollered at the employee for taking the bribe and letting the Sports Authority cut in line. Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie proceeded to pick out their rides after the previous gaming session ended. However, there were six rides, and only five members of the Sports Authority. So a cute little five year old boy who was so happy and full of life, and was even adopted through a local "Adopt a Child" program, was about to enter the last ride available. However, the bribed employee admonished the kid, telling him that only the Sports Authority were allowed for the next five sessions, and that "no common peasants" were to be allowed to play with the Sports Authority. The kid looked up at Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie, who all laughed and pointed at the kid, taunting him all the while. The kid ran to his adopted parents, who demanded to know where the manager was. The employee lied to the parents, saying that there was no manager on duty. Another employee passing by saw the events that transpired and got on his two way radio to call the manager over.
The employee tried to go over the game's instructions with the Sports Authority on the house microphone, but the Sports Authority could barely hear him amidst the tremendously loud boos from the people waiting in line. Gordie got up out of his game cart and yelled at the crowd to "shut up," which of course just made them boo even louder. As the employee was about to try once more to go over the instructions, the manager, an attractive lady with long dark brown hair and looked very appealing in her manager's outfit of khaki pants and blue tailored shirt, walked up behind the employee and snatched the microphone out of his hands.
MANAGER
I'll be taking over from here. You're fired.
Shocked at the turn of events, the employee walked off in a state of dejection as the Sports Authority turned around, their jaws dropped in anger at the manager.
DUNPORK
Just what is the meaning of this?!
MANAGER
Sorry, but you all will have to leave the rides, and I am hereby kicking you five out of Gameworks.
Everyone clapped and cheered as Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie all stepped out of the game cars, throwing their hands up in the air, yelling at the manager.
MATT MARGERA
Well isn't this just typical? It seems that us getting screwed over isn't just limited to the wrestling world, is it? Now we're getting screwed over by freakin' Gameworks! What's next, you're going to announce that Hellspawn has purchased 52% shares of this Gameworks location?!
CRAIG MUELLER
Where's your boss?! We demand to see him!
MANAGER
I AM the boss, you imbecile. I'm the general manager of this location.
CRAIG MUELLER
Well get us your boss who's in the corporate offices, right now!
MANAGER
Well that would be kind of hard seeing as that the corporate bosses are all at home and can't be reached.
GORDIE
Now look here, missy...
Before Gordie could finish, the five year old boy ran up and stomped Gordie on the foot, then kicked him in the shin as Gordie's girly scream pierced throughout the game floor. The kid ran up into one of the cars, and five others followed him in. The Sports Authority left in a huff, with Craig and George helping Gordie out as he claimed injury due to the little kid stomping his foot and kicking him in the shin.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Gordie opted to go to his house and rest his "injuries," while the Sports Nutz retired to their respective homes. Tired and frustrated from what happened at Gameworks, Matt and Codi decided to retire to Matt's house. Matt and Codi sat on the couch, listening to smooth jazz music as Matt gave Codi a foot massage.
MATT MARGERA
The nerve of that little bitch. I bet she wouldn't have kicked the Dark Ones out of there.
CODI SHANE
You mean the Dork Ones.
MATT MARGERA
Haha! I love it. Dork Ones.
CODI SHANE
Well let's see. You've got Goryo-cockle-doodle-do, who dresses up like he just came off the set of Star Wars: Return of the Sith. Then there's "Dark Sun" Alexander Draven. Or is he just Dark Sun? Or is he Alexander Draven? Hell, you don't know which one you'll face. You may be booked against Alex Draven, but you might wind up facing Dark Sun. Talk about someone who's seriously confused. Then of course there's Hellspawn, who looks like he just got rejected at a Misfits audition. And how could I forget Wench, my opponent at Guys Night Out this Saturday night in the Midway Street Fight at the Great State Fair of Texas?
MATT MARGERA
Fighting is about all she'll be able to do at the Fair. She's not tall enough to ride 95% of the rides.
Matt's attempt at humor caused Codi to laugh out loud, as Matt smirked and grinned, proud of his own joke.
CODI SHANE
Are you kidding me? She's not even tall enough to ride any of the kiddie rides! Not to mention that I'll get worn out fighting all the little brats at the State Fair as I mistake them for Wench.
Matt and Codi cackled at their lame jokes concerning Wench's height. After regaining their composure, they shared a passionate kiss, with Matt asking Codi if she wanted to go upstairs. Of course her answer was yes. Without much hesitation, Matt and Codi got up out of their couch and made their way upstairs.
To celebrate the rebirth of the Sports Authority, Matt Margera, Codi Shane, George Dunpork, Craig "Senior" Mueller and "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath decided to celebrate by heading down to Gameworks in Grapevine, Texas. The line was quite long for the indy car race arcade, where six metal game cars that resembled race cars were connected to their respective game screens. Matt, Codi, George and Craig all sighed at the sight of the long line, but Gordie had a plan as he approached the employee in charge of the line.
EMPLOYEE
Sir, you'll have to wait in line.
GORDIE
See, that's what I came here to talk to you about...
Gordie proceeded to talk to the employee, and took out several $100 bills. The employee accepted the bribe, then Gordie waved Matt, Codi, Craig and George to the come to the front of the line. All of the kids and adults waiting in line screamed and hollered at the employee for taking the bribe and letting the Sports Authority cut in line. Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie proceeded to pick out their rides after the previous gaming session ended. However, there were six rides, and only five members of the Sports Authority. So a cute little five year old boy who was so happy and full of life, and was even adopted through a local "Adopt a Child" program, was about to enter the last ride available. However, the bribed employee admonished the kid, telling him that only the Sports Authority were allowed for the next five sessions, and that "no common peasants" were to be allowed to play with the Sports Authority. The kid looked up at Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie, who all laughed and pointed at the kid, taunting him all the while. The kid ran to his adopted parents, who demanded to know where the manager was. The employee lied to the parents, saying that there was no manager on duty. Another employee passing by saw the events that transpired and got on his two way radio to call the manager over.
The employee tried to go over the game's instructions with the Sports Authority on the house microphone, but the Sports Authority could barely hear him amidst the tremendously loud boos from the people waiting in line. Gordie got up out of his game cart and yelled at the crowd to "shut up," which of course just made them boo even louder. As the employee was about to try once more to go over the instructions, the manager, an attractive lady with long dark brown hair and looked very appealing in her manager's outfit of khaki pants and blue tailored shirt, walked up behind the employee and snatched the microphone out of his hands.
MANAGER
I'll be taking over from here. You're fired.
Shocked at the turn of events, the employee walked off in a state of dejection as the Sports Authority turned around, their jaws dropped in anger at the manager.
DUNPORK
Just what is the meaning of this?!
MANAGER
Sorry, but you all will have to leave the rides, and I am hereby kicking you five out of Gameworks.
Everyone clapped and cheered as Matt, Codi, Craig, George and Gordie all stepped out of the game cars, throwing their hands up in the air, yelling at the manager.
MATT MARGERA
Well isn't this just typical? It seems that us getting screwed over isn't just limited to the wrestling world, is it? Now we're getting screwed over by freakin' Gameworks! What's next, you're going to announce that Hellspawn has purchased 52% shares of this Gameworks location?!
CRAIG MUELLER
Where's your boss?! We demand to see him!
MANAGER
I AM the boss, you imbecile. I'm the general manager of this location.
CRAIG MUELLER
Well get us your boss who's in the corporate offices, right now!
MANAGER
Well that would be kind of hard seeing as that the corporate bosses are all at home and can't be reached.
GORDIE
Now look here, missy...
Before Gordie could finish, the five year old boy ran up and stomped Gordie on the foot, then kicked him in the shin as Gordie's girly scream pierced throughout the game floor. The kid ran up into one of the cars, and five others followed him in. The Sports Authority left in a huff, with Craig and George helping Gordie out as he claimed injury due to the little kid stomping his foot and kicking him in the shin.
LATER THAT NIGHT
Gordie opted to go to his house and rest his "injuries," while the Sports Nutz retired to their respective homes. Tired and frustrated from what happened at Gameworks, Matt and Codi decided to retire to Matt's house. Matt and Codi sat on the couch, listening to smooth jazz music as Matt gave Codi a foot massage.
MATT MARGERA
The nerve of that little bitch. I bet she wouldn't have kicked the Dark Ones out of there.
CODI SHANE
You mean the Dork Ones.
MATT MARGERA
Haha! I love it. Dork Ones.
CODI SHANE
Well let's see. You've got Goryo-cockle-doodle-do, who dresses up like he just came off the set of Star Wars: Return of the Sith. Then there's "Dark Sun" Alexander Draven. Or is he just Dark Sun? Or is he Alexander Draven? Hell, you don't know which one you'll face. You may be booked against Alex Draven, but you might wind up facing Dark Sun. Talk about someone who's seriously confused. Then of course there's Hellspawn, who looks like he just got rejected at a Misfits audition. And how could I forget Wench, my opponent at Guys Night Out this Saturday night in the Midway Street Fight at the Great State Fair of Texas?
MATT MARGERA
Fighting is about all she'll be able to do at the Fair. She's not tall enough to ride 95% of the rides.
Matt's attempt at humor caused Codi to laugh out loud, as Matt smirked and grinned, proud of his own joke.
CODI SHANE
Are you kidding me? She's not even tall enough to ride any of the kiddie rides! Not to mention that I'll get worn out fighting all the little brats at the State Fair as I mistake them for Wench.
Matt and Codi cackled at their lame jokes concerning Wench's height. After regaining their composure, they shared a passionate kiss, with Matt asking Codi if she wanted to go upstairs. Of course her answer was yes. Without much hesitation, Matt and Codi got up out of their couch and made their way upstairs.
