Post by Hollywood on May 26, 2008 15:44:33 GMT -6
Shot opens inside the press conference room at the Dallas Cowboys training camp facilities in Valley Ranch, TX. Gordon Heath, George Dunpork and Craig Mueller enter the room and make their way to the podium.
GORDIE
Thank you for making it out to this press conference today. In case you haven't heard by now, Wench and SNW Texas Champion Hellspawn were instructed to pick each other's opponents for the upcoming Onslaught show at LD Bell High School in Hurst, TX on June 8 in "Pick Your Poison" matches. Wench selected Soul Reaper to be Hellspawn's opponent, and Hellspawn selected the Sports Nutz to be Wench's opponent. The contract of the "Pick Your Poison" matches didn't state that Wench and Hellspawn had to select full time wrestlers, nor did it state that it had to be a singles match. Thus, for one night only, the Sports Nutz will take on Wench in a 2-on-1 handicap match. I will hand the floor over for any questions you have.
REPORTER #1
Are you considering a full time return to the ring?
DUNPORK
While you can never say "never" in the professional wrestling business, Craig and I are planning for this match against Wench to be a one night deal. However, we do wish that we could go back to wrestling full time to teach that short, whiny bitch a lesson.
REPORTER #2
What would be the consequences if you were to return to wrestling full time.
CRAIG
As the original founder of SNW, Gordon Heath drew up a contract that stated should Matt Margera, George Dunpork or I become full time wrestlers in SNW, then we would lose our positions of authority. However, if it's just for one match, then we won't lose our positions of power. Gordon Heath does not fall under this as he is the founding owner of SNW.
REPORTER #3
Even without returning to the ring full time, many people are questioning your involvement with Hellspawn's stable of Chaos, stating that it's a conflict of interest. What are your thoughts on this matter?
GORDIE
We are merely only financing backers for Chaos. With the troubled economy, Chaos was in need of some money for gas, food and clothing.
REPORTER #4
Then how come you don't give money to fan favorites such as Syco Boy, Soul Reaper and Stank Lovve?
DUNPORK
What Gordie does with his money is his business and his business only.
REPORTER #5
Who are your picks to win the upcoming Tag Team Title Tournament?
CRAIG
My utmost unbiased opinion would be that either Venom and Emo Kid or Hellspawn and Hannah to win the tag titles. As for teams that are long shots, or teams that have no chance whatsoever, I would have to say that Wench and Soul Reaper have no chance as they are not on the same talent level as even Mike LaFontaine or Ryne Sunberg. Another team I feel has no chance to win the tag titles are Nick Scott and Sean O'Brien. Sean is too green, and Nick Scott isn't much of a tag team wrestler.
DUNPORK
My pick to win the tag titles are Rick Roll and Andrew Smith.
There's a moment of silence, then Gordie, George and Craig all bust out laughing. The media isn't very amused at the unprofessionalism being displayed by Gordie, George and Craig. They calm down and catch their breaths.
GORDIE
Rick Roll? Matt must've caught me when I was a little bit tipsy. I mean, the whole "rickroll" fad is so three weeks ago. Now that's all the time we have for today's press conference. We thank you all for coming out here today.
Gordie, George and Craig walk out of the press conference room to end the scene.
GORDIE
Thank you for making it out to this press conference today. In case you haven't heard by now, Wench and SNW Texas Champion Hellspawn were instructed to pick each other's opponents for the upcoming Onslaught show at LD Bell High School in Hurst, TX on June 8 in "Pick Your Poison" matches. Wench selected Soul Reaper to be Hellspawn's opponent, and Hellspawn selected the Sports Nutz to be Wench's opponent. The contract of the "Pick Your Poison" matches didn't state that Wench and Hellspawn had to select full time wrestlers, nor did it state that it had to be a singles match. Thus, for one night only, the Sports Nutz will take on Wench in a 2-on-1 handicap match. I will hand the floor over for any questions you have.
REPORTER #1
Are you considering a full time return to the ring?
DUNPORK
While you can never say "never" in the professional wrestling business, Craig and I are planning for this match against Wench to be a one night deal. However, we do wish that we could go back to wrestling full time to teach that short, whiny bitch a lesson.
REPORTER #2
What would be the consequences if you were to return to wrestling full time.
CRAIG
As the original founder of SNW, Gordon Heath drew up a contract that stated should Matt Margera, George Dunpork or I become full time wrestlers in SNW, then we would lose our positions of authority. However, if it's just for one match, then we won't lose our positions of power. Gordon Heath does not fall under this as he is the founding owner of SNW.
REPORTER #3
Even without returning to the ring full time, many people are questioning your involvement with Hellspawn's stable of Chaos, stating that it's a conflict of interest. What are your thoughts on this matter?
GORDIE
We are merely only financing backers for Chaos. With the troubled economy, Chaos was in need of some money for gas, food and clothing.
REPORTER #4
Then how come you don't give money to fan favorites such as Syco Boy, Soul Reaper and Stank Lovve?
DUNPORK
What Gordie does with his money is his business and his business only.
REPORTER #5
Who are your picks to win the upcoming Tag Team Title Tournament?
CRAIG
My utmost unbiased opinion would be that either Venom and Emo Kid or Hellspawn and Hannah to win the tag titles. As for teams that are long shots, or teams that have no chance whatsoever, I would have to say that Wench and Soul Reaper have no chance as they are not on the same talent level as even Mike LaFontaine or Ryne Sunberg. Another team I feel has no chance to win the tag titles are Nick Scott and Sean O'Brien. Sean is too green, and Nick Scott isn't much of a tag team wrestler.
DUNPORK
My pick to win the tag titles are Rick Roll and Andrew Smith.
There's a moment of silence, then Gordie, George and Craig all bust out laughing. The media isn't very amused at the unprofessionalism being displayed by Gordie, George and Craig. They calm down and catch their breaths.
GORDIE
Rick Roll? Matt must've caught me when I was a little bit tipsy. I mean, the whole "rickroll" fad is so three weeks ago. Now that's all the time we have for today's press conference. We thank you all for coming out here today.
Gordie, George and Craig walk out of the press conference room to end the scene.
