Post by Bubba JD on Aug 24, 2010 21:33:46 GMT -6
Scene opens in a dimly lit room. The only thing really visible is a blackjack table. In the dealer's chair is The Gambler. He's slowly playing with a variety of cards, pulling random ones from the card dispenser. The first noticeable card is a 1 of hearts.
Gambler
(singing a bit off key)
....one was the loneliest number that I ever knew.
(normal talking)
Most people would consider #1 to be the best number you can get. First in line at an awesome ride at the State Fair. First person to get to the crapper after you & your buddies eat some really bad Mexican. First person out of a burning building.
Being #1 isn't always a good thing, either. First person to watch One Night in Chyna. First person to actually make out with Chyna. Imagine the surprise when you find out what's really down there. Even being the first person to use the crapper after Dunpork's finished using it.....talk about lethal.
The Main Event....everyone is going to see why being #1 isn't such a good thing. Being #1 on the shit list of the Destruction Crew is no task I'd want to achieve. Being #1 on my own personal shit list is even worse. I'm actually coming out of a two year retirement because of the guy who holds this dubious honor.
Margera, you took a hell of a risk when you hit me in the head with your horsehead cane. The gamble you made is about to prove a bad one. It's just about time to put all your chips on the table. All bets will be off in a matter of days.
Gambler pulls another card out of the dispenser. It's a Ace of Diamonds.
The Ace in the Hole.....something that I'll always have. One way or another, I can make any situation advantagious to myself. Having that ugly cane of yours strapped to a pole works beautifully to me. No pinfalls or submissions until the cane is retrieved. I can pretty well do whatever I please to you with no fear of repercussions.
Don't think I can't pull it off, Margera. You saw what kind of mess I left behind me at a former employer's promotion. You, of all people, should remember the trail of bodies I left in my wake. It wasn't because I was anymore talented them these wrestlers. Many of them were actually far more talented. Many had more athleticism. I was an acoholic living in rat infest hotels before I even met the goons I manage.
I was in with mobsters & other such rif raf. What set me apart from the rest of the roster? What made me a 3 Time United States Champion in that promotion? How did I get such a winning streak going in the promotion, where others failed?
Simple. I knew how to fake out everyone else. I could bluff my way into or out of anything. All I had to do was use a mistake, even as insignificant as a misstep, and turn it into a winning situation for myself. You know I don't need much to beat you. Just the tiniest slip-up. Could be overconfidence, going into our match. Maybe you'll be too busy gawking at Wench. You might even be too predisposed with your own Destruction.
The excuses are completely irrelevant. The sure bet is really with me. In a match like a Pole Match, I don't have to worry about playing within too many rules. All I have to do is give it a roll of the dice. When I get that ever special Lucky 7, I'll become a High Roller, yet again. The Payoff will be huge. My first match back in at least 2 years, if not longer, will see you in a puddle of your own blood.
One final thing to remember, Margera. If you want to do any "cheating", go for it. I can out cheat anyone. If you have four Aces, I can beat you with five aces. You get a 21, I'll have 22. You have a full house? I'll have a full house and a full garage.
Lots of luck, Margera. You'll need it.
The lights go dim as the scene comes to an end.
Gambler
(singing a bit off key)
....one was the loneliest number that I ever knew.
(normal talking)
Most people would consider #1 to be the best number you can get. First in line at an awesome ride at the State Fair. First person to get to the crapper after you & your buddies eat some really bad Mexican. First person out of a burning building.
Being #1 isn't always a good thing, either. First person to watch One Night in Chyna. First person to actually make out with Chyna. Imagine the surprise when you find out what's really down there. Even being the first person to use the crapper after Dunpork's finished using it.....talk about lethal.
The Main Event....everyone is going to see why being #1 isn't such a good thing. Being #1 on the shit list of the Destruction Crew is no task I'd want to achieve. Being #1 on my own personal shit list is even worse. I'm actually coming out of a two year retirement because of the guy who holds this dubious honor.
Margera, you took a hell of a risk when you hit me in the head with your horsehead cane. The gamble you made is about to prove a bad one. It's just about time to put all your chips on the table. All bets will be off in a matter of days.
Gambler pulls another card out of the dispenser. It's a Ace of Diamonds.
The Ace in the Hole.....something that I'll always have. One way or another, I can make any situation advantagious to myself. Having that ugly cane of yours strapped to a pole works beautifully to me. No pinfalls or submissions until the cane is retrieved. I can pretty well do whatever I please to you with no fear of repercussions.
Don't think I can't pull it off, Margera. You saw what kind of mess I left behind me at a former employer's promotion. You, of all people, should remember the trail of bodies I left in my wake. It wasn't because I was anymore talented them these wrestlers. Many of them were actually far more talented. Many had more athleticism. I was an acoholic living in rat infest hotels before I even met the goons I manage.
I was in with mobsters & other such rif raf. What set me apart from the rest of the roster? What made me a 3 Time United States Champion in that promotion? How did I get such a winning streak going in the promotion, where others failed?
Simple. I knew how to fake out everyone else. I could bluff my way into or out of anything. All I had to do was use a mistake, even as insignificant as a misstep, and turn it into a winning situation for myself. You know I don't need much to beat you. Just the tiniest slip-up. Could be overconfidence, going into our match. Maybe you'll be too busy gawking at Wench. You might even be too predisposed with your own Destruction.
The excuses are completely irrelevant. The sure bet is really with me. In a match like a Pole Match, I don't have to worry about playing within too many rules. All I have to do is give it a roll of the dice. When I get that ever special Lucky 7, I'll become a High Roller, yet again. The Payoff will be huge. My first match back in at least 2 years, if not longer, will see you in a puddle of your own blood.
One final thing to remember, Margera. If you want to do any "cheating", go for it. I can out cheat anyone. If you have four Aces, I can beat you with five aces. You get a 21, I'll have 22. You have a full house? I'll have a full house and a full garage.
Lots of luck, Margera. You'll need it.
The lights go dim as the scene comes to an end.
