Guy's Night Out 6/19/2010

[sh17]

We see a video montage of night life in Dallas/Fort Worth set to the tune of "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-O-Rama."



LIVE! DARKNESS CASINO! DALLAS, TX!

Shot opens inside the Darkness Casino as the fans are going nuts. They are screaming and waving signs that say things like "YOU HEAR ME BURRITO JIMMY?", "I'LL SOPA UP VALERIE'S HONKERS", and "UP YOURS TONY JONES!" We are taken to the commentary desk with Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware, and Tammy Winters as they run down tonight's show.

MARK BISHOP
Welcome everybody to Guy's Night Out this week, as we come to you live and in technicolor from the Darkness Casino in Dallas!

KOKO B. WARE
Technicolor? Is that a shot at me because it's Juneteenth? Do I need to call Al Sharpton dammit?

TAMMY WINTERS
Here we go, it's not even five minutes in and we've got a race martyr going.

MARK BISHOP
Well those are my partners in commentary Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters, and we've got a jam packed show for you tonight with the main event being the cherry on top. The Texas Champion Chris Angel will join forces with Jack Clinton and Chris P. to square off against the rising star Tyler Straven and his partners the Alley Ratz!

KOKO B. WARE
We've also got a grudge match featuring the Mauler and Super Vader as they take on the extremely mismatched team of Danny Palis and "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

TAMMY WINTERS
In a non-title match, we will see James Jackson facing off against one of the newest SNW signees Lucky Kage!

MARK BISHOP
We've also got singles action involving Benson, Dave Mason, and Petrina Rotchester. You'll also get an update on Summer Bash, we'll hear from the newly returned Goryokaku, and Myke Rhines will try and cost us our broadcast license once more!

The referee jogs out from the back down the aisle for the first match, and is quickly followed out by Burrito Jimmy. He sprints down the aisle to avoid the middle fingers and shouts of those in the crowd. "Let Down" blares over the sound system, as the fans cheer the arrival of Petrina Rotchester who is closely followed by Xander Nova. She slaps the hands of the fans on her way down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen this is your opening contest scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring from Grapevine, Texas weighing in at 198 lbs. Burrito Jimmy! Making her way to the ring accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova, from Belfast, Northern Ireland weighing in at 180 lbs., "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester!

Rotchester steps in the ring as Nova remains on the outside. Jimmy stares up and down Rotchester, refusing to believe that she weighs almost as much as he does.

MARK BISHOP
This shouldn't be much of a problem for Rotchester, she's got the experience and the record to back her up.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm taking Burrito Jimmy in this match.

TAMMY WINTERS
There's a real shock.

KOKO B. WARE
Bitch be quiet, go make me a damn sandwich.

TAMMY WINTERS
OK, would you like it with feathers or without?

KOKO B. WARE
...

MARK BISHOP
I just...you see what I'm up against here America?

Burrito Jimmy vs. "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester w/ Xander Nova

The bell rings and before the match starts Nova shouted at Rotchester, and she walked over to the ropes. As Nova gave her some last minute advice, Jimmy snuck over to where Rotchester was and smacked her right on the ass. The fans all gasped, as Rotchester whirled around with a look of fury on her face. Jimmy's face went ashen, as he realized what he had done. Rotchester punched him over and over, forcing him back into the corner as the crowd went ballistic. Then Rotchester grabbed Jimmy, and spiked his head into the mat with the Dublin DDT. She covers him as the referee counts the three count and gives her the win.

Winner: Petrina Rotchester

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester!

MARK BISHOP
Well Burrito Jimmy made a very poor mistake, and paid for it dearly as Petrina Rotchester flat out whooped his ass.

KOKO B. WARE
She should have been flattered that someone would ACTUALLY want to touch her ass, the cow.

TAMMY WINTERS
This coming from the sexist pig of the show.

KOKO B. WARE
Oh great, moral lessons from the whore. This out to be good.

TAMMY WINTERS
Shut up you fat fuc...

MARK BISHOP
Whoa whoa whoa, stop that right this instant.[/b]

The scene switches to Kijar Donnelly and Seth Davids walking about inside the Darkness Casino.

SETH DAVIDS
I'm proud of you, man, you're gonna be a champion soon.

KIJAR DONNELLY
Yous ain't proud of me, you just don't want me to get mad at yous.

SETH DAVIDS
You're probably right. The point is, you've got a lifetime opportunity, and I shouldn't be mad at you for that.

KIJAR DONNELLY
Yeah, but after this, if I'm not champion, I'll set my sights on the Tag Team Titles with yous. I promise.

SETH DAVIDS
And if you do become champion?

KIJAR DONNELLY
I think you have a fear of that, otherwise Lucky wouldn't have been called down here to join the company ova hea.

SETH DAVIDS
Guilty as charged.[/b][/color]

Kijar pats Seth on the back as the show goes to break.

DORSIX: IF YOUR BUTT HURTS, TRY IT![/center]

[sh17]

The camera pans around to different areas inside the Darkness Casino as Mark Bishop welcomes everyone back from break.

MARK BISHOP
We're back with more Guys Night Out, live from the Darkness Casino in Downtown Dallas, Texas. Right now, Luna Vachon is standing by with "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath.

Shot switches to out in front of the craps table, where we see the dealer no doubt swindling the poor, gambling public. Luna Vachon is standing by with Gordon Heath.

LUNA VACHON
Thanks, Mark. It is my understanding that you, Mr. Heath, have a major announcement concerning The Main Event next Saturday night on the CW.

GORDIE
Indeed I do, Luna. You see, in professional wrestling, champions must defend their titles within a given time period. It could be 30 days, 60 days, 90 days, or, as is the case here in SNW, at least once a month or have a defense scheduled within that month. Well, Chris Angel successfully defended his Texas in April against James Jackson, then defended it again at 4 Up against Jack Clinton. Now while Mr. Angel does have a defense lined up, that is for the month of July at Summer Bash. He has yet to defend the title here in the month of June, so by order of yours truly, Mr. Angel's Texas Championship will be on the line in the six man tag team match at The Main Event from Bethesda Christian School in Fort Worth, Texas. Now, the only challengers will be the team of Danny Palis, Tyler Straven, and Steve. Should any of those three pin or submit Chris Angel, then that person will become Texas Heavyweight Champion. However, should they score the fall over either Jack Clinton or Chris P, then the title will not change hands. Likewise, should Clinton or Chris P score the winning fall, the title will not change hands as it will be scored as a successful title defense by Chris Angel. Luna, I thank you for your time...

In the background, we see a big, burly high roller storming out of his seat at the craps table, having lost all his money. He storms over and shoves Luna down to the ground and shouts...

HIGH ROLLING SNOB
OUTTA MY WAY, BITCH!

The high roller storms off as Gordie simply purses his lip, wondering what to do about Luna. The camera switches to a close up shot of the craps table, where we see the Gambler smiling as he's swindled yet another customer. The scene then comes back to the ringside are for the next match. "Remember the Name" by Fort Minor booms over the sound system, and the fans boo their lungs out as James Jackson walks out with his Bad Blood Title strapped around his waist. The fans are letting him have it as he walks down the aisle.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following is a non-title contest scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Los Angeles, California weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

Jackson climbs through the ropes, unstrapping his belt as he goes through. He poses on the turnbuckles for the crowd to see, however he is greeted with nothing except more hate.

MARK BISHOP
Well a Versus Violation member gets a crack at James Jackson, however his name isn't Kijar Donnelly and it's not for the Bad Blood Title on this occasion.

KOKO B. WARE
Not like it's going to matter who the Modern Day Hero will face. He will tear through whichever member of the Rainbow Brite club he has to face whenever he faces them.

TAMMY WINTERS
I find it fairly offensive that you call them that. They are some of the uprising stars in this company, possibly future Texas Champions at that.

KOKO B. WARE
What the Hell do you know, the only thing you know about uprising is when you are rising up and down on your customer's crotches for lap dances.

TAMMY WINTERS
YOU SON OF A BITCH!

MARK BISHOP
Here we go again.

"The City Sleeps in Flames" blares over the PA, as the fans switch their hatred to joy as Lucky Kage, with Valerie Synder by his side, comes out from the back to adulation. The two walk down the aisle, Kage slapping hands and Valerie drawing more cheers than the male she is escorting.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent making his way to the ring, being accompanied by Valerie Synder and representing Versus Violation. From Coon Rapids, Minnesota weighing in at 265 lbs., Lucky Kage!

Kage quickly makes his way on the apron and into the ring. He stands towering over Jackson, who does not seem to be impressed by his opponent.

MARK BISHOP
Well even if his experience is limited, Lucky Kage can claim a distinct height and weight advantage that may counter act what Jackson brings to the table.

KOKO B. WARE
The bigger they are the harder they fall Marky. Something tells me this big dumb redwood will be felled with relative easy from the Bad Blood Champ.

TAMMY WINTERS
I hope not, he's cute.

KOKO B. WARE
Oh wait, Tammy might want to screw him so this match might not even be started because she will be trying to grind on him.

TAMMY WINTERS
Hey he'd actually do me, I doubt if you lived out your desires to try and get him cornered that you'd get anywhere bucko.

MARK BISHOP
OK that is quite enough, halt this instant!

"The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson vs. Lucky Kage w/Valerie Snyder

The bell rang, and near the beginning of the match the rookie Kage really gave the crowd something to cheer about. Jackson did his best at the outset to implement his suplex-based offensive, however Kage used his much larger frame to make the accomplishment of that task extremely hard for the Modern Day Hero. This also allowed for the first few minutes of the match a chance for Kage to wear down Jackson, which he took full advantage of by landing a brutal Falcon Arrow on Jackson that nearly drew a three count but Jackson was able to launch his shoulder off the canvas and break up the pin fall. Frustrated, Kage locked in a Cobra Clutch that quickly did its job and started to wear down and drain the energy and breath out of Jackson. The referee went to try the arm of Jackson, however after two drops Jackson showed some signs of consciousness. He battled out of the hold, and when Kage came in to try and get the momentum back Jackson landed a T-bone suplex that could have come only out of instinct sending both men tumbling to the mat. Kage lay there for awhile reeling from the suplex as Jackson took the time to try and regain his breath and get back to form for the rest of the match. It proves effective, as the two got to their feet at the referee's count of eight, and started trading offensive moves. The match came to an end when Kage grabbed Jackson and went for a tiger driver, however Jackson found a counter for the move and quickly landed the Jackson Driver on the dumbfounded Kage. Jackson went for the pin, and got the three count to the disbelief of the fans.

Winner: James Jackson

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, the "Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

MARK BISHOP
Well it looked like Lucky Kage was going to be just like his first name suggested, but in the end Jackson proved why he is a back to back winner of 4 Up by countering out of a variation of his own finisher.

KOKO B. WARE
How stupid was Kage, trying to hit Jackson with his own finisher basically? The kid might be lucky, but he sure as Hell isn't smart.

TAMMY WINTERS
How do you know that, it's not like your some sort of Albert Einstein starter kit yourself?

KOKO B. WARE
Coming from someone who makes their money with their own naked body, I don't want to hear about intelligence.

TAMMY WINTERS
Hey I've got it, and if I can make money using it I think that is pretty smart. Not like anyone is going to pay to see your delusional fat ass.

KOKO B. WARE
Hey, my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard you whore.

MARK BISHOP
I think a break would really do me some good. GO TO BREAK! DO THE CARS!

THEUNTICKET.COM: FOR ALL YOUR TICKET NEEDS! LESS TY![/b][/center]

[sh17]

"Always" by Salivia can be heard throughout the Darkness Casino. Out from the back steps Dave Mason, with a sly smirk appearing on his face as his partner Syco Boy joins him on the aisle.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Clayton, North Carolina, being accompanied to the ring by Syco Boy, and weighing in at 200 pounds... Dave! Mason!

MARK BISHOP
There he is, the man who looks to put another strike in the win column here tonight, Dave Mason!

KOKO B. WARE
Are you suggesting that Benson doesn't want to win this match?

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't think he was suggesting anything, in fact, you shouldn't either. Mason is one half of the Xtreme Team with Syco Boy, and both look to assert their authority over the Enforcers of Pain.

Dave runs down to the ring, and rolls under the bottom rope to get inside. Cheers from the fans light up his eyes as he amounts the turnbuckle and takes a pose before his opponent enters. "Woke Up This Morning" begins playing and everyone's attention is diverted to Benson coming down the aisle. Shortly after we see Strickler join his partner out from backstage.

HARRY SACHS
And his opponent, from Washington, D.C., with a weight of 282 pounds... Benson!

KOKO B. WARE
And the man to beat tonight, Benson!

MARK BISHOP
Man to beat? Benson hasn't exactly been on a tear as of late.

TAMMY WINTERS
Like I said, the Enforcers of Pain and the Xtreme Team have been in a bit of heated dispute as of late, and now Mason meets Benson in singles action.

Benson casually walks down to the ring, boasting at the booing and complaining fans. He steps inside the ring via stairs, and removes his coat, and tie. Mason and Benson get into a heated stare down before the opening bell.

Dave Mason vs Benson
The two locked up, which allowed the bigger man, Benson, to bring Mason over and down into a DDT. A pin cover barely got one. Benson had worked over Mason for awhile afterward, hitting such moves as a Samoan Drop and a Sidewalk Slam. Just when Benson had Dave set up for a Tombstone, Dave slipped off the shoulder and hit a Dropkick to the back of Benson. Benson was sent into the ropes, and bounced back to be hit with a clothesline. After a few minutes with Mason in control, Benson shifted position once again when he rolled out of the way of a Sliding Dropkick by Mason and was able to hit a Piledriver. Things were going Benson's way again for the next few minutes, but Dave slipped out of a Powerbomb predicament, and went up top. Benson quickly exploded and hopped up top, going for a Superplex, but Dave Mason was able to instantly counter and hit a Goldcutter off the top rope. The two men laid motionless on the mat for the next few minutes. Eventually both men came to their feet, and Mason was able to get brief momentum before attempting a DKO. Benson fought the move off, and swiftly landed a thunderous sit out powerbomb to get the three count and the win.

[/color]

Winner: Benson

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Benson!

MARK BISHOP
A back and forth battle that ended up with Benson was able to reverse and he took the opportunity and got the win. You've got to figure Strickler loved that.

KOKO B. WARE
You damn right he did, and so did I! Score one for the Enforcers of Pain!

TAMMY WINTERS
Now we will never hear the end of it from Strickler. He already likes to talk too damn much.

KOKO B. WARE
Yeah, well he can talk and be smart because he has a penis unlike you.

MARK BISHOP
Oh my... (awkward silence)... Well on that extremely sexist note let's throw it to Brenda Price for the Summer Bash report. Brenda!

Shot statics out, then statics back into a shot of Brenda Price in front of the SNW banner(most likely located somewhere in the bowels of the Gordietorium), standing by with news on Summer Bash as "Peace Sells" by Megadeth plays in the background.

BRENDA PRICE
In just over a month's time, Summer Bash comes to you live from the sold out Moody Coliseum in Dallas, Texas and the only way to see it is on PPV. Call your cable or satellite provider and order Summer Bash, live, July 24, at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST. How about the big 4 Way Elimination match for the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship, where the match does not end until three other wrestlers are eliminated by either pinfall or submission? The current champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel, puts his title on the line in his toughest test to date as he takes on Jack Clinton, Versus Vince, and "The Solution" Tyler Straven. Don't forget that in Versus Vince's corner will be his girlfriend, Valerie Snyder, and in the corner for Tyler Straven will be his follower, "The Homeless Guy" Steve. You'll recall at 4 Up how Angel and Clinton tore into each other in their epic encounter. Just how much more damage will they do to each other at Summer Bash? And can either Versus Vince or Tyler Straven capitalize on the friendly rivalry of Chris Angel and Jack Clinton? We'll find out on July 24.

Now of course we all know you can't have Summer Bash without the War Games, and after everything that's gone on between the Perfect World and the Destruction Crew, it's only fitting that these two factions will do battle inside the enclosed steel cage. Two rings, one steel cage, and the only way to win is by submission or surrender. Now an interesting caveat to this is that Matt Margera has been wanting to get his hands on Goryokaku after Gory returned after a lengthy hiatus and nailed Matt with the Gory Kick. So SNW co-owners Gordon Heath and Codi Shane came to an agreement that if Matt wants to get his hands on Goryokaku, he will do so at the Summer Bash as Gory will team up with the Destruction Crew. That means that the Perfect World will now have to find a partner of their choosing. It'll be interesting to see who Matt Margera can find to team up with him on July 24.

Now next Saturday night on The Main Event, Wench defends the Von Erich Memorial Title against "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels. The winner of that match will take on someone who hasn't been too happy since he's been in SNW, Chris P. You'd think that Chris P would lighten up a bit seeing as that Codi Shane has tried to right the wrong when Kid Thunder defeated Chris in the Von Erich Memorial Title tournament when he held onto the ropes. But I guess Chris just doesn't see things that way. And remember this, Wench will be taking part in War Games as she's part of the Perfect World. Two years ago at the first Summer Bash, she wrestled twice in one night as she teamed with Goryokaku to win the Texas Tag Team Titles, then went on into the War Games match. So we could potentially see that again this year.

Now a new match has just been signed for Summer Bash. The SNW Texas Tag Team Titles will go on the line in an Ultimate X match! Basically, there are two zip lines above the two rings, specifically above where the two sides where the rings are connected. The zip lines will be held by posts on each far corner of the two rings, making an X. The Texas Tag Team Title belts will be hanging on the lines, and whoever can climb the poles and make it to the belts and grab those belts will be declared the Texas Tag Team Champions. Gordon Heath and Codi Shane have declared that five teams will take part in this wild free for all. They are: the current champions, Death Sentence; SiMox; Xtreme Team; the Switch Stallions; and the Enforcers of Pain. Can you imagine big Benson trying to make it all the way to the belts? And obviously, whoever wins between Death Sentence and SiMox next Saturday night on The Main Event will be the defending champions.

Four big matches announced for Summer Bash, and I'm sure there'll be more to be announced in the coming weeks. Don't forget, Summer Bash, live on PPV from the sold out Moody Coliseum in Dallas, Texas, Saturday night, July 24 at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST for only $14.95! Don't be left out! Call your cable or satellite provider today!

"Obsession" by Animotion is the music backdrop of choice as we see a montage of SNW highlights.

NARRATOR
Saturday night, June 26, at 11:30 PM EST/10:30 PM CST on the CW, Sports Nutz Wrestling presents THE MAIN EVENT!

It's title vs. career as Wench puts the Von Erich Memorial Title on the line against the young career of "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

By order of Gordon Heath, Chris Angel's Texas Championship goes on the line in a six man tag team affair as he teams with Jack Clinton and Chris P to take on Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis and the Black Hand!

The Texas Tag Team Titles go on the line as Death Sentence defends against the #1 contenders, SiMox!

Plus, James Jackson defends the Bad Blood Title against Kijar Donnelly in the first ever Tap Out Match, and Xtreme Team and the Enforcers of Pain do battle in a tag team grudge match!

Don't waste 90 minutes of your life that you can't get back with another unfunny summer rerun! Tune into the CW on Saturday night, June 26, 11:30 PM EST/10:30 PM CST as SNW presents THE MAIN EVENT!



THE WORLD CUP: THE SPORT HOCKEY LOVES BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY SPORT THAT IS MORE RELEVANT THAN![/center]

[sh17]

We see IP Freely next to a blackjack table watching a game being played by Goryokaku and several other SNW stars, IP freely quickly realizes that he’s on camera and tidies himself up.

I.P. FREELY
I.P. Freely here with Goryokaku, where today we ask the question that everyone... well most... okay some... fine... The question I want answered why Goryokaku, Gory kicked Matt Margera? So Mr erm... Goryokaku why did you Gory Kick Matt Margera?

IP points the microphone at Gory, who looks at him with disdain and lets a sneer touch his face as his contempt for IP is plain to see.

GORYOKAKU
Why did I Gory Kick Matt Margera. That is your question. You're given a once in a life time opportunity to interview a man known to be the nastiest piece of work in this business, and your one concern is the motive behind the foot I planted in one moron's face? This is why you will always be nothing more than an interviewer, Freely. Those people who fill out the seats every week don’t care about the motivation behind my actions. They long since forgot about what drove me on to take out Andy Lionheart before his match. What they want to know is what am I going to do next?

IP FREELY
So what are your intentions Mr Goryokaku? What do you plan to do next here in SNW?

GORYOKAKU
Like everything else I do in this industry, it isn’t for a lowly little peon like yourself to know only that my business with Matt Margera is far from over in this ever expanding universe. One constant point will remain apparent for the world to understand is that Matt Margera has made one too many mistakes and one too many enemies in this industry. But of all those enemies he made he never once finished or settled his business with those he delicately avoided with the enthusiasm of a mouse dodging a cat. Now in a fantasy world the mouse would escape the cat with some moronic clever trick and leave the cat even more annoyed then he was originally. But this isn’t no fictional Tom and Jerry world. This is reality, and in reality when a cat decides to eat the mouse, the cat will eat the mouse, no two ways about it. So Matt, you’re the mouse and I’m the cat, and we're going to be having a little game of cat and mouse. Now Mr. Freely, if you would please go away, you're spoiling the mood of my clientele and generally making the place look untidy, shoo shoo.

Goryokaku brushes IP Freely away as he turns back to the game.The scene returns to the ringside area as "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" is played in the casino. The Mauler and Super Vader are seen with The Gambler at their side walking down the aisle.

[/color]

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and Gentlemen, the following tag team bout is scheduled for one fall! First, with a combined weight of a staggering 765 pounds, representing the Destruction Crew, and accompanied by the Gambler, the team of the Mauler! and Super Vader!

MARK BISHOP
Here they are folks, the winners of the match...

KOKO B. WARE
That is so biased. If you ever looked at wrestling ability instead of just brash personality you'd realize that its not about who does the worst deeds, and who does the best. It's about who can get it done in the ring and who will.

MARK BISHOP
I suppose you'd say that Daniels and Palis are the ones to do that?

TAMMY WINTERS
What they both meant to say is, here is the Destruction Crew, who look to win this match with rage inside for their opponents, the Sahara Reign and Kid Thunder.

Mauler is swinging his chain wildly, and Super Vader makes the Vader symbol with his hands. Gambler accompanies the two down to the ring, as Mauler screams "Huss, Huss!" and Vader screams random unrepeatable words at the crowd. They're charismatic personalities make the crowd go wild with cheers. Danny Palis steps out as "Bad Street USA" plays. The cheers become a hoard of boos.

HARRY SACHS
And their opponents, first, from Boston Massachusets, with a weight of 225 pounds, he is the "Sahara Reign" Danny! Palis!

MARK BISHOP
The first of two here that think an argument with the Destruction Crew will benefit them.

KOKO B. WARE
Both Palis and his partner tonight know what it takes to win a match, and with the rage built up inside for the Destruction Crew, they could do just that.

Danny Palis walks down to the ring slowly, with a half-drunk though of him. He puts up the horns after taking a drink from the flask in his hand. As he steps in the ring, he looks at the jeering fans, and lets out a spit at them. The horns are put up once again before "Superhero" plays. "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels is shown coming down the aisle to join his partner.

HARRY SACHS
His tag team partner, with a weight of 220 pounds, hailing from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, "Kid Thunder", Alex! Daniels!

TAMMY WINTERS
Before Mark and Koko can make fools of themselves again, here comes Kid Thunder. He'll stop at nothing to get the win tonight, and the Destruction Crew, despite their size advantage, should be warned by this young blue chipper without respect. He had requested his partner of the evening to be the "Sahara Reign" and let's see if that will benefit him.

KOKO B. WARE
Well put Tammy.

MARK BISHOP
Koko, were you oblivious to the fact that she had said "without respect"?

KOKO B. WARE
No, I was not, Mark.

MARK BISHOP
Of course...

Alex Daniels walks down to the ring, accompanied by a barrage of boos. He is overwhelmed by the crowd, and gets inside the ring whilst taunting the crowd. He looks at his partner for the evening, as the bell rings and the Destruction Crew are prepared.


The Mauler and Super Vader w/The Gambler vs Danny Palis and "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels
Mauler starts off against Palis after a bit of a discussion between Palis and Daniels, where Daniels claimed he wants to "see what Danny's got." Mauler worked over Palis for the beginning of the match, but a miscalculated running boot to the face attempt on Palis led to Mauler getting hung up in the corner. A DDT in the corner shifted control and allowed Palis to work over Mauler with such moves as a dropkick and a flying headbutt. Mauler easily found strength to power out of a headlock, and whip Palis off his back onto the mat from a standing position. This led to a tag to Vader. Vader picked up Palis and hit a vicious back suplex. Unfortunately, it send Palis into his own corner, and he stumbled into a tag from Kid Thunder. Daniels, off a hot tag, hit a sweep kick to bring Super Vader down for a two count. He went up top, but was caught in mid air from a Splash, and brought down with a Samoan Drop. Super Vader tagged in Mauler, which was an unfortunate call because Mauler took too much time yelling at the crowd. Alex Daniels recovered in this time frame and hit a running back elbow. Mauler was sent staggering to the other side of the ring, and brought down in the corner with a dropkick. Daniels stomped on his face, and the referee pulled him off. As Daniels argued with the referee, Gambler, on the outside, tried to help Mauler out of the corner. Palis ran and kicked Gambler in the head, taking him out as he fell to the floor. This allowed Kid Thunder to muster all of his strength to lift Mauler up and bring him down with the Thunderbolt. Super Vader attempted to run in to break up the pin, but Danny Palis ran in and knocked Super Vader out with a running DDT as Kid Thunder got the three count.

Winners: Danny Palis and Alex Daniels


HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners, the team of "The Sahara Reign" Danny Palis!, and "Kid Thunder" Alex! Daniels!

MARK BISHOP
That wasn't fair! Palis was attacking the manager!

KOKO B. WARE
Who, in turn, was interfering in the match.

TAMMY WINTERS
This could either make or break the apparent alliance between Danny Palis and Alex Daniels. It all depends on Daniels' thoughts on Palis' performance. We could be looking at the next big tag team in SNW right here.

MARK BISHOP
Or Kid Thunder could be Kid Thunder and attack Danny Palis at any time.

KOKO B. WARE
You have no faith.

TY WALKER: BECAUSE THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE HE CAN GO TO GET MORE AIR TIME![/center]

[sh17]

MARK BISHOP
Well folks I'm being informed that Myke Rhines has sent in some sort of campaign ad or something to that extent. He demanded it go on before the main event, so let's see what he's done this week.

KOKO B. WARE
I bet our new President is doing a great thing this week.

The scene cuts away from the show to a pre-recorded tape. We are taken to the Texas Gulf Coast, where we are placed on a beach. We see the sticky black sheen of oil across the water, and up the beach walks Myke Rhines with a pastel blazer slung across his back he holds with one hand. His sleeves are rolled up, as he has a smile plastered on his face.

MYKE RHINES
The beautiful Gulf Coast, look at her. She's slowly but surely being strangled by the tar like crude oil that a foreign company is leaking into the waters. There are people in this country, those who are the same color as the oil in this water, who want to claim responsibility for this tragedy. Yet they are too busy playing golf, watching baseball(which now that I think about it isn't such a bad thing), singing with the greatness of Paul McCartney, and of course somesuch. The president of the company who caused this calamity is too busy in his rich British world watching yacht races to connect with the people of this great land of ours. What message are these people sending to the common people like you and I about leading and being presidents? That you can't trust them.

However, I look to stronger Presidents like the dirty dead Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Nolan Ryan. These are men with strong leadership convictions, and who did and are steering their respective entities in the correct northerly direction. That is what I will do with SNW. Am I going to fix the oil spill that BP caused, that's a big negatory. What I will do is provide quality wrestling to distract everyone from this occurrence and should the time come, I will sic the entire roster on the bastards who caused this both across the pond and on Capital Hill. Because violence is always the answer, and I think more violence will fix this whole thing. A vote for me is a vote for more violence, and a better America on promises that I can't possible fulfill and will probably just break to bring down the company and country as a whole. But, as you idiots proved a couple of years ago, as long as it sounds good you will vote for it no matter how shallow and empty the claims truly are. I'm Myke Rhines, and I want to be your SNW President. Stay hard, keep jammin', and I'll see ya.

Rhines stops talking as he reaches a hill made of sand. He strikes a very Captain Morgan like pose as he watches the water with the sun casting it's glow over it. However, the image is quickly ruined as an oil-stained pelican does a dive bomb right into Rhine's head. Rhines falls to the sand, swearing and trying to get the squawking bird off of him. The video ends abruptly as the scene goes back to ringside. All three commentators look to be in a state of shock.

MARK BISHOP
I don't even know what to say to that ladies and gentlemen.

TAMMY WINTERS
That poor pelican...

KOKO B. WARE
SCREW THE PELICAN WOMAN! THE FUTURE PRESIDENT WAS HARMED!

"Cotten Mouth" booms over the sound system, and the fans crank up the boos as Tyler Straven, accompanied by "The Homeless Guy" Steve, walks out from the backstage area. He walks down the aisle with an air about him, even though the crowd boos both Steve and Straven.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following is your main event, and it is a six person tag team match scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first accompanied by "The Homeless Guy" Steve. From Christchurch, New Zealand weighing in at 275 lbs., "The Solution" Tyler Straven!

Straven climbs through the ropes and retreats to his corner for his normal pre-match meditation routine as Steve remains outside the ring aggravating the ringside fans.

MARK BISHOP
Our main event delivers as always, and like him or no Tyler Straven has really been a shooting star in this company as of late.

KOKO B. WARE
He is already growing his legend, he truly is the Solution to all of our problems.

TAMMY WINTERS
Really? Can he solve that oil spill and save that pelican from that dirty old man?

KOKO B. WARE
If he gave a damn about that, I'm sure he could. He doesn't want too though.

TAMMY WINTERS
Why wouldn't he want too?

KOKO B. WARE
Ask him that not me.

"Chicken Huntin'" comes over the PA, and the fans are conflicted as Twitch and Eddy walk out from the back with their obligatory smoke cloud trailing behind them. Less people want to slap the hands of the pair as they walk down the aisle to ringside, and the two seem much less reluctant to do so.

HARRY SACHS
His partners, Twitch and Eddy the Alley Ratz!

The Ratz enter the ring coughing slightly, and they are staring at their partner as he goes through his ritualistic routine through red and puffy eyes.

MARK BISHOP
Well the Alley Ratz got a different reaction than they are used too, however one can attribute that to who their partner in this six man tango is more than anything else.

KOKO B. WARE
Maybe these two are finally seeing through the smoke filled haze they normally live in to get some decent answers in life.

TAMMY WINTERS
Koko supporting the Alley Ratz? I must be stoned.

KOKO B. WARE
Not supporting, simply speculating.

TAMMY WINTERS
Right, whatever.

"Strangehold" comes over the sound system, and the fans go wild as Chris Angel walks out from the backstage area onto the aisle. Slapping hands with the raving fans at railside, the gleam of his Texas Championship shines in the air.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents first from Los Angeles, California by way of Dallas, Texas. Weighing in at 280 lbs., he is the SNW Texas Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel!

Angel stops at the apron, before climbing onto it and stepping over the top rope into the ring to face his three opponents.

MARK BISHOP
At this point I'm not sure a more powerful team could be put together than the one that will be facing off against this other trio. It starts with Chris Angel, the #1 cop in all of SNW.

KOKO B. WARE
The #1 cop? What the Hell are you talking about Bishop?

MARK BISHOP
Nothing, nothing...

KOKO B. WARE
Can I get a real partner in here, one who actually makes sense?

TAMMY WINTERS
I'm sure Mark has said the exact same thing time and time again about you my plump friend.

"Enter Sandman" booms over the sound system, and the fans continue the cheers as the tall figure of Jack Clinton cuts a wide berth from the back and comes down the aisle. With an intense look on his face he walks to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
His partners first from San Diego, California. Weighing in at 355 lbs., Jack Clinton!

Clinton also steps over the top rope with his massive frame, and joins his friend already in the ring. The two form an intimidating twosome as they lord over the others in the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Angel could not have asked for a much better partner than his best friend and partner in crime, and something tells me their previous chemistry will assist them in this match.

KOKO B. WARE
You don't think Straven will have any chemistry with the Ratz?

MARK BISHOP
More than likely no, since this is their first time teaming together.

KOKO B. WARE
Meh, what do you know anyway?

TAMMY WINTERS
Great comeback Koko.

"Ole!" blares over the PA, and the fans cheers maintain but do not increase as Chris P. walks out from the backstage area and scans the crowd with his normal frenzied look on his face.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner from Clifton, New Jersey. Weighing in at 255 lbs., Chris P.!

Chris breaks into a dead sprint, and slides under the ropes between Angel and Clinton. He pops up to his feet, and Clinton seems slightly irritated at the entrance that just took place.

MARK BISHOP
Setting aside the slight bit of tension that we saw from Clinton and Chris earlier in the week, I'd rather take my chances with them clicking than not.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm not sure Mark, that could drag the team down into the depths.

MARK BISHOP
I highly doubt that Koko, I really do.

TAMMY WINTERS
It's a safe bet to doubt what Koko says.

KOKO B. WARE
It's also a safe bet to say if you keep it up you'll end up at the bottom of a river without your head you gutter slut.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh my God...

MARK BISHOP
The show is almost over, the show is almost over...

"The Solution" Tyler Straven w/ "The Homeless Guy" Steve and The Alley Ratz vs. "The Dream" Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, and Chris P.

Chris Angel and Tyler Straven start the match, and early on the two stars struggled for control. The two traded high impact offensive moves, and Straven got the first near fall when he landed a surprise spine buster and flipped over holding Angel's legs. Alas, he only got a two count as Angel was easily able to break up the pin attempt. Straven gets up and argues with the referee for a moment, and when he turns around he is run over by a big boot from Angel. Angel tags out to Clinton, who takes over for his side in the ring. Clinton came into the ring, and began to dominate for the next few minutes of the match. He put on a display of power that Straven could not match as he was the recipient of the brutal offensive. Clinton picked up a couple near falls as well, including almost forcing a submission victory by locking in a Boston crab that Straven was only able to break up by desperately crawling to the ropes and forcing it to be ended. The tide turned some when Clinton slung Straven into the corner, and a blind tag in from Twitch went un noticed as Clinton landed a running boot to the head. Twitch climbed the turnbuckle, and as Clinton was celebrating some Twitch dove off the top rope and landed a drop kick directly to the chest of Clinton that sent him thundering down to the mat. Twitch continued to play cat and mouse, using his turnbuckle offense to keep Clinton on his back and off his feet. After a few high risk moves, Twitch landed a picture perfect Faygo Splash but only got a two count as Clinton propelled the much smaller Twitch into the air to keep the match from ending. Twitch tried to launch an assault to keep Clinton off his feet, but instead Twitch was thrown across the ring in a press slam. Twitch flew into the turnbuckle of his team, and Eddy tagged his partner as Straven was knocked off the apron briefly by the flying man. Eddy stormed the ring, but his charge was for naught as Clinton caught him and landed the Clinton Driver as Eddy was slammed damn near through the mat. The crowd roared as Clinton landed the move, however Chris suddenly slapped the back of his partner and entered the ring. As Clinton looked at him with an eye, Chris hooked Eddy's leg and the referee counted to three for the match to end.

Winners: Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, and Chris P.

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match "The Dream" Chris Angel, Jack Clinton, and Chris P.!

MARK BISHOP
Well the powerhouse trio won this match, however in a fashion that many will examine in the coming days. Jack Clinton had control of the match, but Chris P interjected himself and got the pin when it looked like Clinton could handle it.

KOKO B. WARE
Straven got screwed, being paired with those two jokes. But I wonder how Chris will explain to his butt buddy Clinton why he got the fall instead.

MARK BISHOP
That's definitely a question I'd like answered.

KOKO B. WARE
I doubt we'll get it, pair of fruits they are.

TAMMY WINTER
Here come the gay jokes.

KOKO B. WARE
You would rather me break out the whore jokes you dumb cun....

MARK BISHOP
THAT'S AN ENDER! SEEYA ON THE MAIN EVENT!

2010 EXACTLY I MEAN PRODUCTIONS[/b][/center]