Guys Night Out: Fourth of July!

[Hollywood]

Shot switches to a video montage set to the original WWF Shotgun Saturday Night theme. The montage includes Chris Angel and Jack Clinton beating up random thugs on the streets of Deep Ellum; the Destruction Crew tearing apart the Glass Cactus; Emo Kid sitting at a bar, cutting himself with a broken piece of glass as random people sitting around him looking on in shock; Myke Rhines chasing after girls in the streets of Downtown Dallas, while Vin Sin tries to hail a cab; and ending with Soul Reaper exiting a train at Victory Station outside the American Airlines Center, wearing his SNW Texas Championship around his waist as a horde of fans greet him.



Shot then switches to a video montage of stock footage from the Dallas/Fort Worth night life as text saying what matches will be taking place pops up on the screen, with Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters providing the voiceovers.

MARK BISHOP
Tonight, on Guys Night Out, Vin Sin and Matt Margera pick each other's poison!

TAMMY WINTERS
That's right! Matt Margera goes one-on-one with one half of the Young Gunz, Marcus Ryan. Meanwhile, the other half of the Young Gunz, Vin Sin, receives both a shot at the Texas Championship and Von Erich Memorial Championship as he faces Soul Reaper and Super Vader respectively in a handicap match.

MARK BISHOP
In the battle of the sexes and generation gaps, Myke Rhines takes on Stephanie Kelley in a dance-off.

TAMMY WINTERS
The SNW Texas Tag Team Titles go on the line as the Alley Ratz defend their belts against TNT, and the Mauler and Killer Kong compete in an all-you-can-eat buffet clearing contest.

MARK BISHOP
And "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, Emo Kid, Criss Cassidy and Jack Clinton do battle in a Fatal 4 Way, first fall to a finish, to determine the #1 contender to the SNW Texas Championship. All that and next, tonight on Guys Night Out!

Shot opens inside the Lizard Lounge, as we see various young people aged approximately 21-33 dancing around and having a good time. We see some Chris Chris-like guys and other various douchers trying to cut a rug with the ladies, who just laugh at them. But those douchers are dumb enough to think the ladies like them.

LIVE FROM THE LIZARD LOUNGE IN DEEP ELLUM! IN DOWNTOWN DALLAS, TX!

[/move][/b]

Shot switches to the ringside area, which is surrounded by some of the more hardcore SNW fans. Smoke begins to fill the entrance way as “Kashmir” slowly begins to play. James Jackson is shown walking out to a chorus of boos.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
James Jackson could be labeled the most controversial wrestler in SNW, and to some of all time, which is saying a lot with the history this company has.

TAMMY WINTERS
I don’t like the guy but I do think he’s one attractive man.

He stands there looking around moving his arms away from the railing as the Bad Blood title hangs over his shoulder. He keeps walking and pauses and taunts to the crowd getting more boos. James climbs up into the ring and grabs the microphone from Harry Sachs. He begins to pace around the ring as he looks around at the crowd as they continue to boo.

JAMES JACKSON
The one thing I could never understand was why you fat people always say boo, when in reality you all should be saying moo. Yet that’s not the point as to why I came out here. You see I am the current SNW Bad Blood champion. By default might I add, I never asked for this belt, nor did I ever wish to become the champion. Yet I proved you people wrong. With my technical superiority, which for you people out there it means I’m superior when it comes to technical wrestling. I proved it at 4 Up, then I beat one of the contenders in Chris Angel. It makes you people cringe knowing that your blood thirst heroes can’t get the job done. Just like your Dallas Cowboys can’t get the job done, first off they can’t win and secondly they obviously can’t find the city of Dallas as they haven’t played in that city for what 30 plus years now. Yet that’s not why I came out here at all. I can diss the Cowboys for there stupidity and the fans that watch them play. However the real reason I came out here is because as the current Bad Blood champion, I am contracted to defend it. I won’t lie down for anyone nor will I just vacate the title. Instead of doing that, I am right here and right now going to be issuing an open challenge to any male or female to have a chance at my title.[/b]

MARK BISHOP
Did I hear James correctly, he’s issuing an open challenge to anyone.

TAMMY WINTERS
Yeah I know he’s an arrogant prick.

JAMES JACKSON
A once in a lifetime opportunity awaits this opponent, they get to step into the ring with greatness. Whoever this opponent may be come on down here show me what you got then take your loss with dignity and remember that there can only be one James Jackson.[/b]

Before James can continue on "Never Gonna Stop" begins to play. Once the drums kick into the song, Matt Margera appears from behind the curtain as the crowd cheers. James stands in the ring just pacing around ignoring the cheers coming from the crowd as Matt continues down and slides into the ring, James backs up as Matt stares at James, slowly shaking his head.[/i]

MARK BISHOP:
Looks like the boss has something to say.

TAMMY WINTERS:
Well I hope James listens to what Matt has to say as it surely would mean business.

MATT MARGERA
James you seem to be so uptight and serious maybe you need a drink. Hey Bob get this asshole a beer he surely needs it!... James it’s on me.

Yet to more serious business here. You made some open challenge. You know because I have like a thousand different things on my mind including a match tonight. I forget to tell you James, tonight you have a match. Yes tonight you’re defending your title against a mystery opponent. Oh but I won’t let the suspense last that long as this match against this opponent will be happening right now.[/b]

On cue some generic club rave music begins to play as a masked individual walks out from the curtain. The person begins to look around left and right and continues down to the ring. The person climbs into the ring wearing all black including the mask.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
The individual looking by the size is either a female or just a small man.

TAMMY WINTERS
Um the chest area kind of gives it away that’s a chick.

James shakes his head and looks at Matt then points at the masked person.[/i]

JAMES JACKSON
Is this some kind of joke, that’s some chick under a mask. What is this I wanted a challenge Matt.[/b]

MATT MARGERA
“You said open challenge, and this masked lady as accepted your challenge James, what you scared? You afraid of losing to a girl? Her name is Lady Venom, I’ve seen the tape James, she can go and the fact is that right now you are about to face her, so let’s ring the bell get a ref down here and start this match. Oh and before we get underway let’s remember this is contested under no disqualification rules, good luck James.[/b]

James Jackson vs. Mystery Woman

Matt rolls out of the ring as James puts the belt to the side as a ref is shown sliding into the ring. James and the masked lady square off as James pushes her down to the mat. James stands over her and slowly goes to pick her up as she reaches up and grabs a hold of him rolling him for a small package for the three count and victory. The crowd erupts with cheers as the masked lady quickly gets to her feet as she's handed the Bad Blood title. She climbs up onto a turnbuckle and holds the belt up as the crowd keep cheering.

MARK BISHOP
I can't believe this, we have ourselves a new Bad Blood champion.

TAMMY WINTERS
On top of that it's a woman, we have ourselves a female champion as the second ever Bad Blood champion.

James slowly gets to his feet and shakes his head as the mystery woman steps down from the turnbuckle and turns and faces James. James offers the mystery woman a hand shake. The woman lends out her hand but quickly releases it turning away. She slowly pulls her mask up taking it off and turns to face the view of the camera it shows to be Enigmah.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
Enigmah, it was Enigmah under the mask the whole time I can't believe this.

TAMMY WINTERS
I thought she was fired.

Enigmah holds the belt on her shoulder and just grins some as her and James embrace in the middle of the ring hugging. Matt looks on from the outside looking pissed but shakes his head as the crowd boos. Matt grabs a microphone and holds his hands up and then slowly nods his head.[/i]

MATT MARGERA
James you might think you have got one over on me. However you are wrong, you see I'll give you credit for one thing. That is that as of right now you aren't the Bad Blood champion anymore. Yet before you celebrate neither are you Enigmah. You see Enigmah the reason you're not champion is because you're not an official member of the SNW roster. Yet that leaves us with an issue, no Bad Blood champion and I've come up with a good idea. Enigmah next week you will be in your first match back as you are now a member of the roster once again. Now as to who the opponents are they’ll be none other than Johnny Moxie and Chris Angel, two finalists in the 4 Up tournament. The winner of this triple threat match will be declared the new Bad Blood champion.[/b]

MARK BISHOP
James Jackson no longer the Bad Blood champion, Enigmah re-hired, three way for the Bad Blood title, what else is there in store for us here tonight?

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't think this will be the last time Matt Margera and James Jackson cross paths.

MARK BISHOP
If it is I'll eat my non-existent hat. Now, let's throw it to the third wheel of this broadcast team Koko B. Ware as he is standing by to host the first ever 4th of July Dance-Off between dirty old Myke Rhines, and my personal favorite Stephanie Kelley.[/center]

The camera cuts away from the ring to the dance floor at the Lizard Lounge. Koko B. Ware is in the middle of a large crowd of people who have formed a circle to give the two dancers room to dance.

KOKO B. WARE
Thank you Marky Mark, and welcome everyone here at the Lizard Lounge and watching around the world to the first ever 4th of July Dance-Off. Now, I being a very stylish black man know a thing or two about dancing, so I volunteered my services in this contest. The rules are simple. Each contest will have 30 seconds to dance their best dance, and then you pee-ons...I mean people will get to vote on the winner. So without further ado, let's get our contestants out here. I'll do my best Harry Sachs impersonation here. First up, this man is a legend in radio here in Dallas. He's old enough to be most of your dads, and let's not forget his trademark phrase "If you've got A's stay away, B's go to C's, C's go to D's, and D's come to me." Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the manager of the Young Gunz, Myke Rhines!

Myke Rhines comes through the crowd, wearing a white shirt, a pink blazer and pants, and black shoes. His hair is slicked back with grease, and he appears to be somewhat drunk.

KOKO B. WARE
Now, let's meet our 2nd competitor. For me, she's the white prize, to the rest of you she's just another hot girl in the crowd. Any of you betting on Mr. Rhines might be making a mistake, as she might dominate. She's the most recent celebrity guest of SNW, and I'm petitioning for her to replace my colleague Mark Bishop at ringside so I can have a better looking partner. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome Stephanie Kelley!

Stephanie Kelley comes out in a robe, wearing black heels. The crowd loves her as she comes through the crowd, drawing cat calls and marriage proposals.

KOKO B. WARE
OK folks, let's get in a quick interview with our contestants before we get this little contest underway. Myke, first of all you look like you climbed straight out of Don Johnson's closet. How do you plan on winning this contest?

MYKE RHINES
Well, I plan to dance, or somesuch. Maybe display the moves of Billy "White Shoes" Johnson, or Terrell "T.O." Owens. Who knows? Also, I'd like to advise everyone here to please use a rubber, don't jar, and for the love of God will someone PLEASE buy the Ticket!

KOKO B. WARE
Strong words from a senile, horny man. OK, Miss Kelley you are a fresh face to SNW. What motivated you to accept this offer from SNW to come in and do this?

STEPHANIE KELLEY
Well Koko, how could I turn this opportunity down? It was a great chance for me to come in and get some exposure, as well as make a little cash. Plus, I wanted to make sure that these wrestling fans don't have to solely watch an old man break his hip dancing.

KOKO B. WARE
OK, well those are stirring words...kind of. Now, enough with the smack talk. Let's take this to the dance floor. Myke, your the elder in this pair, so we will start with you. You have already told the DJ what song you wanted, so it's time to get this party started. You have 30 seconds, GO!

Myke moved to the center of the dance floor as Koko went to the side. He pointed to the DJ, who cued the Miami Vice theme. Rhines began walking like an Egyptian, and transition into a fake moonwalk. He went up to Kelley, and grinded his old behind against her, before giving her three strong pelvic thrusts to end his time on the floor. As the buzzer rang, Rhines ran off the floor to the restrooms yelling something about the great equalizer and Bachman Lake and pea green soup loudly as the crowd laughed.

KOKO B. WARE
OK, well that was just disturbing. Hopefully Rhines will be back out here to hear the results of the contest, but it doesn't look like it. Well, Miss Kelley the bar is quite low. You seem to be wearing a robe, so we'll let you disrobe, and your time will start once you do such. GO!

Kelley goes and occupies the space Rhines did, and unties her robe to reveal a red, white, and blue American flag swimsuit. She threw the robe at the DJ, who caught it and took it as his cue to start the song. The main chorus of "Let's Get It Started" by the Black-Eyed Peas hits, and Kelley did not dissapoint. She swayed and bounced to the music, before going down and doing the splits. She flipped on her stomach, and crawled forward bouncing up and down. She went back up, sitting on her knees throwing her hair around as the buzzer rang.

KOKO B. WARE
Wow...just wow. I don't even know how to describe that. So, I will not even try. Let's go to the real judges of this contest, the fans! So, which morons in the crowd want to vote for the senior contestant Myke Rhines!

The crowd looks at each-other, and nobody shows any intention of voting for Rhines.

KOKO B. WARE
Just as I thought. Now, who will follow me and vote for Stephanie Kelley!

The crowd erupts in cheers and claps as they all show their appreciation in voting for the good looking blonde contestant. Koko grabs Stephanie's arm and raises it in the air to signify her victory.

KOKO B. WARE
Well, there isn't any debate here. Your winner of the 4th of July Dance Off is Stephanie Kelley! Certainly this was a rare wise decision by you folks, I'm proud. Now, let's send it back out to the broadcast team as I will re-join them shortly. Mark, take it away!

MARK BISHOP
Thanks, Koko. When we come back, we'll have the debut of Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca!

SNW PRESENTS SUMMER BASH! LIVE, AUGUST 15 AT THE WILL ROGERS COLISEUM IN FORT WORTH, TX, AND AVAILABLE ONLY ON PPV!

[Hollywood]

James Jackson and Enigmah are shown leaving as new SNW personality Bob Sturm catches up with them.

BOB STURM
Uh James, uh how do you feel uh about not being in uh the same class as uh Troy Aikman. I mean you uh lost your title and I mean that doesn’t make you a loser, but you’re not a champion like Brett Favre. I mean how does that feel not being in the same category as Favre?

JAMES JACKSON
What does Troy Aikman and Brett Favre have to do with me you sports geek? Listen I could care less about Favre or any other quarterback. Ask the New York Jets how good Brett Favre is. Now what I did tonight was a plan between me and Enigmah. As unlike you and everyone else that likes Aikman and them Boys, I can actually think before coming up with some kind of gameplan.

BOB STURM
Well uh, yesterday uh Manny Ramirez got back from being uh suspended and uh he was called a uh cheater. Some say uh you cheated. Now uh I’m not calling you a cheat like that, uh Nolan Ryan, which uh I got paid to uh say that. As you uh know uh the man who uh signs the checks I uh read the uh things to say. But uh as I was uh saying what did I say?

JAMES JACKSON
I don’t uh, watch uh base uh ball, uh anyways uh the reality uh is that you are uh retarded uh anything else?

BOB STURM
Uh yeah uh Enig uh mah, you are uh British so doesn’t that uh mean you uh like soccer uh correct. I like my uh soccer, and the Manchester United are by far my favorite team. But I also do love my uh football and there is uh no guys like Brett Favre that play uh soccer. David Beckham doesn't even come close

Before Bob can get an answer Enigmah slaps him across the face and he stumbles down and falls to the ground.

ENIGMAH
Football you dumbass.

James and Enigmah walk away as Bob rubs his cheek as the shot switches back to inside the Lizard Lounge. "Big Shot" by Kill Hannah booms over the PA, and out come Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca to a mild mixed reaction, as this is the first time SNW fans have had a chance to get a good look at them.

[/color]

HARRY SACHS
The following tag team match is set for one fall. Introducing first, the team of Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca! Their opponents, currently outside the ring, from El Paso, Texas, the team of Maximilian Cortez and Constantine Ramos, the Sixth Street Assassins!

MARK BISHOP
A big opportunity for the Sixth Street Assassins to finally get going in the right direction, as they can play spoiler to the debut of Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca.

KOKO B. WARE
Don't kid yourself, Mark.

TAMMY WINTERS
All I know is that Gavin is kinda cute, and Bianca looks like one of those girls that used to be on that naked female wrestling show.

KOKO B. WARE
You and your gutter mind.

GAVIN TYLER & BIANCA DE LUCA vs SIXTH STREET ASSASSINS[/u]

Ramos and Cortez, still holding their trays with corn dogs and fries, entered the ring, offering the food to Gavin and Bianca. Gavin and Bianca took a bite of the food, only to spit it back at the Assassins' faces as they ambushed Ramos and Cortez. Gavin and Bianca dominated the Assassins throughout the match, as Ramos and Cortez could hardly get any offense going. The crowd turned on Gavin and Bianca, booing them out of the building after Bianca teased mooning the crowd, only to flip them the middle finger. The crowd even chanted "SHE'S A CRACKWHORE!" over and over, raising the ire of Gavin, and especially that of Bianca. The end came when Bianca, after tagging in Gavin, flew off the top turnbuckle and landed a somersault corkscrew senton onto Ramos, with Gavin following up with an Imploding 450 Splash for the pinfall.[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Your winners of the match, Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca!

MARK BISHOP
Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca dominate the Sixth Street Assassins, whose wheels are still very off.

KOKO B. WARE
And I've gotta say, I already like these two young lions. They don't give a damn about "entertaining" the fans. They're looking out for themselves, and to succeed in this business, you have to look out for yourself.

TAMMY WINTERS
I'm getting word in my headset that IP Freely has some big news concerning No Holds Barred next Saturday night on FOX. Mr. Freely?

Shot switches to the DJ's turntable area, where a DJ is spinning the tunes and is in charge of playing the wrestlers' theme songs when it's time for their entrances. IP Freely is standing by with him.

IP FREELY
Thanks, Tammy. As DJ L.O.L. Emoticon K Thanx is spinning the tunes behind me, I do indeed have some news concerning next Saturday night's national television special on FOX, No Holds Barred. Not only will the winner of the Fatal 4 Way tonight receive a shot at the SNW Texas Champion, whoever he may be after tonight; and not only will Matt Margera and Vin Sin take each other on in a match determined by the spin of the wheel; but we have just learned that Sean O'Brien of Chapter Six will receive a shot at the SNW Von Erich Memorial Championship, whether the champion is Super Vader or Vin Sin. And from what I understand, Vin Sin is indeed ready to wrestle two matches if need be. Guys, back to you.

Shot goes back to the broadcast area, where Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters are sitting.

MARK BISHOP
Big news indeed. Sean O'Brien with an opportunity of a lifetime as he receives a Von Erich Memorial Championship match.

KOKO B. WARE
I gotta say, should Vin Sin win the Von Erich Memorial Title, I'll have a tough time deciding between him and Sean O'Brien.

TAMMY WINTERS
Let's not get too far ahead of ourselves, Koko.

We see some random chefs placing the food for the All You Can Eat Buffet Clearing Contest.

MARK BISHOP
Fans, when we come back, the Alley Ratz defend the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles against TNT!

SITTIN' ON YOUR ASS WHILE YOUR WIFE BRINGS HOME THE CASH! SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING![/center]

[Hollywood]

"TNT" by AC/DC hits, and the crowd cheers as TNT comes out from the back. Andrew Smith and Mike Rutherford, scowls on their faces, ignore the cheering fans as they walk down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following tag team match is scheduled for one fall and is for the SNW Tag Team Championship. Making their way to the ring, the challengers. Weighing in at a combined weight of 550 lbs., Andrew Smith and Mike Rutherford, TNT!

TNT climbs into the ring but don't go through their usual routine, as they are pissed and focused on getting their belts back.

MARK BISHOP
Next up is a tag team match, which is a 4 Up rematch. TNT told SNW management they wanted their rematch, and they've got it here tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
This is such a mistake. Both Andrew Smith and Mike Rutherford went through hellacious matches at 4 Up, and only two weeks later they want another shot at the titles that Smith lost them. Tactical error on the part of TNT.

MARK BISHOP
How can you even say that? TNT lost the titles in a handicap match, they didn't even get to defend them in the type of match the titles are supposed to represent.

KOKO B. WARE
If they were such great champions they should have been able to win. Great champions never quit, never die no matter what they are up against.

TAMMY WINTERS
So I'm guessing under that clause that Frankie couldn't have been a great champion eh Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
Woman, I'm warning you...

Koko's threats are drowned out as "Chicken Huntin'" by the Insane Clown Posse hits, and the crowd cheers again as the SNW Tag Team Champion Alley Ratz emerge from the back. A cloud of smoke that doesn't appear related to their entrance follows them from the back. They hold their title belts over their head and they walk to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Making their way to the ring, the champions. Weighing in at a combined weight of 390 lbs., they are the reigning and defending SNW Tag Team Champions, the Alley Ratz!

Twitch and Eddy climb into the ring on opposite sides, posing on the turnbuckle with the SNW Tag Team title belts with the fans clamoring and cheering for them.

MARK BISHOP
The Alley Ratz culminated their success at 4 Up by defeating one half of TNT Andrew Smith to take over possession of the SNW Tag titles.

KOKO B. WARE
What a cheap way to win them. The Ratz obviously have no shame, as they took on one guy. Well go figure they'd win, not a shock.

TAMMY WINTERS
Wait, you just criticized Andrew Smith for not winning, now you are running down the Alley Ratz for winning? What the Hell, do you mind keeping your car on one side of the road instead of swerving all over before you Donte Stallworth someone?

KOKO B. WARE
Least I'm actually driving the car to make it swerve. The only way you can make a car swerve is when your head is in the driver's lap...

TNT vs. The Alley Ratz(c): SNW Tag Team Championship Match
Andrew Smith and Twitch started out the match. Smith came out at the beginning with a reign of fury, trying to get revenge for his failure at 4 Up. Smith controlled Twitch on his side of the ring, using suplexes to keep him down and out. Smith hit a top rope cannonball on Twitch, but only got a two count. Smith tagged out and brought in Mike Rutherford as the fresh man. Rutherford continued the beatdown on Twitch, hitting a bulldog and a stretch suplex. Rutherford went for the submission win with the Figure Four, and had Twitch in the hold for a good three minutes before Twitch was able to crawl to the ropes and break the hold. Twitch turned the tables in his favor when Rutherford tried to bring him up for the Black Plaque and Twitch hit an Enzugiri on Rutherford. Twitch quickly got to his corner, and made the hot tag to Eddy. He came into the ring like a man possessed, hitting Rutherford with a spinning heel kick. The pace went back and forth for a few minutes, and soon four became two as Eddy hit a heel kick knocking Smith off the apron and Rutherford hit Red Revolting Plaque on Twitch after he broke up a pin attempt. The end came when both Rutherford and Eddy had the same idea, and hit each other with a Superkick to the chin. When they both connected, they both fell to the mat and one arm of each competitor fell across the others' chest. The referee counted three, and the bell rang as a double pin had been registered. The crowd booed with enthusiasm as the referee informed Harry Sachs of what the decision was.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, referee Danny Travers has informed me that due to the fact that both men had a cover and neither men got their shoulders up, this match has been declared a draw. Therefor, still the tag team champions, the Alley Ratz!

MARK BISHOP
What an odd ending to the tag team championship match. A double pin which led to a draw. Rules state that titles can not change hands on a draw, so even though they didn't officially win the Alley Ratz will keep their tag team titles.

KOKO B. WARE
Such a miscarriage of justice. They should vacate the title and give them to a worthy team. What a crappy way to end this match. They should just hand the titles to Death Sentence, or the Young Gunz, or Hell even me and Frankie could defend them.

TAMMY WINTERS
You can't make a dead animal a tag team champion. Where do you think you are, WC...

KOKO B. WARE
Bitch keep it up and you'll be the dead one around here!

MARK BISHOP
Hey! Hey! Hey! We're, uh, havin' fun! No?

Shot fades out to a pre-recorded segment. We see Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller, decked out as always in his three piece suit and Tom Landry-esque fedora hat, sitting at the desk inside Gordon Heath's office.

RECORDED 7/3/09

CRAIG MUELLER
Hello, miscreants and scalawags. The good commissioner here to announce the match variations that will be on the wheel when we spin the wheel, make the deal for the match pitting Matt Margera against Vin Sin next Saturday night on No Holds Barred, seen live on FOX. There will be twelve different match variations on the wheel. The match stipulations include:

-Steel Cage
-Tables, Ladders and Chairs
-First Blood
-Light Tube Death Match
-Texas Death Match
-Falls Count Anywhere
-Ironman Match
-Coal Miner's Glove Match
-Lumberjack Match
-Leather Strap Match
-Texas Bull Rope Match
-No Rope Barbed Wire Match

Be sure to tune in at 8 PM Eastern, 7 PM Central next Saturday night, July 11, on FOX, as we will spin the wheel and make the deal on No Holds Barred.

SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING, WHERE WE WANT TO KNOW, IF MILLI VANILLI FALL DOWN IN A FOREST, DOES SOMEONE ELSE MAKE A SOUND?

[Hollywood]

The camera cuts to an area of the Lizard Lounge away from the dance floor. There we see two buffets fully stocked with all sort of food. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner are all well represented. The host of this contest is Myke Rhines, and he begins to speak about this particular exchange.

MYKE RHINES
Well, it is now time, or somesuch, for the Buffet Clearing Contest. This could be an epic, like the 1979 World Series. Or, it could be like the Ticket career of Pete Stein, painful and forgetful. With that in mind, we are haze gray and underway. Let's bring out the two Norm-like gluttons. They are both from some group called the Destruction Crew, or somesuch. So, let's bring them out, Killer Kong and The Mauler.

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer" plays, and the crowd cheers as Killer Kong and The Mauler both come in and take their positions at their respective buffets.

MYKE RHINES
Now, before we interview these two men of size, let me say that the only reason I wanted to work this contest is because I wanted to see these hot waitresses. So, where are they? I want my waitresses, damn you.

Myke looked around, and all of a sudden the crowd laughed as the "hot waitress" stepped forward. She had numerous moles on her face, her teeth looked straight out of a British dentist office, and she weighed more than Destruction Crew member Super Vader. Myke shrank away, and tried to ignore the large woman even though she was hard to ignore.

MYKE RHINES
God almighty, looks like that could stun a mastodon. And judging by her size, she could kill it and eat it for a snack. This sucks! Oh well, let's talk to these two. Mauler, do you like this gig?

THE MAULER
HUSS! HUSS! HUSS!

MYKE RHINES
That wasn't the question, do you like your job?

THE MAULER
HUSS! HUSS!.... Huh?

MYKE RHINES
I mean, do you like being Chief of Police?

The Mauler looked angry, and almost attacked Rhines, but Killer Kong stepped in front of him and interrupted the potential brawl.

KILLER KONG
Listen, let's just start this contest and end this idiocy. I'm getting hungry, and when I get hungry I get angry. And you won't like me when I'm angry. So start this, before I get really angry and eat you instead of the buffet.

MYKE RHINES
That sounds like a good idea, or somesuch. OK, the rules of this shindig are simple. Whichever man of size that can clear their buffet the fastest is the winner, and receives three pair of Diamond Cut Jeans, a 12 month lease from my good friends at AutoFlex Leasing, and a re-finance on their home from Mortgage USA, and who the Hell do they think they are giving that away anyway? Well, on my count gentlemen: 3...2... and go!

The two gurgitators began to go at it, as the crowd enjoyed SNW's spin on the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest. Mauler got the lead early, as he was able to swallow a whole pan of salisbury steak whole, while Kong was eating through corn on the cob at the rate of a typewriter. They evened out as they both hit the mashed potatoes, but for about three minutes both men looked like Uncle Sam missing their American-colored hats. Soon the piles of food remnants, such rib bones, empty oyster shells, and alike. The crowd cheered as the two mighty behemoths of beans continued on, providing them entertainment with mass food consumption.

MYKE RHINES
This is the most disgusting display of eating I have ever seen, and I've watched Norm Hitzges at lunch. Oh my, look at The Mauler. He looks like he is going to have reverse diarrhea here in a moment. Ahh yes,the great equalizer at work again.

The crowd struggled to grasp the meaning of this, however fully understood when Mauler put down the chicken breast he was eating, and used one of the empty bowls from the food to puke into. The spectators acted somewhat disgusted, shying away from Mauler's table. His head came up after a couple minutes, and resumed eating where he was before he cleared out his stomach. Meanwhile, Kong taunted his opponent with a cheesecake.

MYKE RHINES
Thank God this failed bit is over, as your winner of the Biggest SNW Fatass... I mean Buffet Clearing Contest is Killer Kong. I wouldn't get too close to him, as he looks like he is about to blow out his cow heart.

A stagehand walks over and says something in Rhines' ear.

MYKE RHINES
The contest is not over? Good god, this sucks! I'm outta here!

Rhines stormed off as the eating contest continued. Shot switches to ringside as "Psycho Man" blares over the PA, and the crowd boos their lungs out as Vin Sin appears. Coming down the aisle in a long black robe and a black headpiece that covers all but his eyes, he virtually ignores all fans; young, old or otherwise.

HARRY SACHS
The following is a 2-on-1 handicap match, where both the SNW Von Erich Memorial Championship and SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship will be on the line. First, from Fort Worth, TX and weighing 215 lbs, "The Black-Hearted Warrior," Vin Sin!

MARK BISHOP
Let's send it down to Luna Vachon to get a quick word from Vin Sin.

LUNA VACHON
Vin, how do you feel about the possibility of Adriana Samu purchasing a house in your neck of the woods of Fort Worth, Texas?

Vin Sin shoves Luna down as he shouts "OUTTA MY WAY, BITCH!" Once in the ring, he removes his robe and headpiece, going over to the farthest corner. He crouches in the corner, making sure he never takes his eyes off the entrance way. "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" hits, and the crowd cheers as Super Vader, his SNW Von Erich Memorial Title belt over his shoulder, slowly wanders out, grunting and screaming at the fans. Sporadically, Super Vader makes the "Vader" symbol with his hands, and the fans respond by making the "Vader" symbol with their hands.

HARRY SACHS
The opponents... first, from Colorado Springs, Colorado and weighing 450 lbs, the SNW Von Erich Memorial Champion, Super Vader!

MARK BISHOP
And while Mauler and Killer Kong are STILL eating it up at the buffet, Super Vader will be defending his SNW Von Erich Memorial Title.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm surprised he doesn't forfeit his belt for some grub to stuff his fat ass.

TAMMY WINTERS
You better hope he never watches tapes of these shows.

Super Vader slides into the ring, and Vin Sin immediately begins stomping away at him as referee Mike Croft tries to stop him, but Vin shoves him down. The bell sounds as Soul Reaper sprints down to the ring, tosses his Texas Title belt to the timekeeper, and slides into the ring, knocking Vin Sin down with a hard clothesline.

HANDICAP MATCH
TEXAS TITLE & VON ERICH MEMORIAL TITLE
VIN SIN vs SUPER VADER(VEM C) & SOUL REAPER(TX C)

Vin Sin fought Super Vader and Soul Reaper with everything he had, but the two on one advantage was very difficult for Vin to overcome. However, he seemed to have the match in hand as Super Vader and Soul Reaper whipped him into the corner, only for him to catch his momentum and jump onto the top turnbuckle, jump and turn around, and come flying down with a Double Top Rope DDT to both Super Vader and Soul Reaper. Vin Sin went to cover Reaper, but only got a two count. He then went to cover Super Vader, but again only got a two count. Vin hit Reaper with a Windmill Kick, sending Reaper to the outside. But just as Vin turned around, Super Vader nailed him with a Batista-like Spinebuster, then drug him over to the corner. Super Vader climbed to the middle turnbuckle, jumped a couple of times and nailed the Vader Splash, but only got a two count.

Super Vader continued to work over Vin Sin, only for Vin Sin to take Super Vader down with a Cobra Clutch Leg Sweep. Vin Sin locked the Muerte on Super Vader, but Reaper rushed back into the ring and broke it up. As Super Vader got up, he saw Chapter Six ambushing Mauler and Killer Kong. Super Vader slid out of the ring and went after Chapter Six as Mike Hanson ran out there to get in on the brawl, the fans going crazy. Reaper, with the match in hand, forced Vin Sin to tap after locking him in the Cold, Hard Truth.

HARRY SACHS
Your winners and still SNW Von Erich Memorial Champion and SNW Texas Champion respectively, Super Vader and Soul Reaper!

MARK BISHOP
Let's focus the cameras to the outside as a big brawl has broken out between Chapter Six and the Destruction Crew!

KOKO B. WARE
Look out!

TAMMY WINTERS
Food fight!

A food fight breaks out between Chapter Six and the Destruction Crew, and bystander fans join in on the fun. The show fades to commercial as security rushes in to get things cooled down.

"WHY TODAY DOESN'T SUCK" WITH BAD RADIO AND THE HARDLINE, EVERY MON-FRI AT 2:50 PM, ONLY ON SPORTSRADIO 1310 THE TICKET! STREAM IT ONLINE AT WWW.THETICKET.COM!

[Hollywood]

"Lights Out" by P.O.D. hits, and the crowd boos as Marcus Ryan, accompanied by Myke Rhines, comes from the back and begins to make his way down to the ring. Ryan seemingly was able to ignore the fans, but Rhines saw a pair of attractive females in the front row. Distracted, he ran over and began pelvic-thrusting in front of them. Ryan, disgusted, yanked Rhines back away but not before he had gotten their numbers and bra sizes.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following Pick Your Poison match is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first, from Seattle, Washington and weighing in at 235 lbs., accompanied to the ring by Myke Rhines... one half of the Young Gunz, "The 2nd Coming" Marcus Ryan!

Ryan gets in the ring and climbs the turnbuckle, pointing at the fans and indicating his superiority to them as Rhines keeps trolling on the outside for tail.

MARK BISHOP
A Pick Your Poison match up here, and this is going to be an interesting contest to see from both sides. Marcus Ryan's only contest by himself was at Saturday Morning's Main Event, and that match never even got started. So seeing him in singles competition for really the first time ever. Opposite of him, Matt Margera is wrestling again for the first time in a long time here in SNW.

KOKO B. WARE
That ring rust is a killer Mark, that's why I like Ryan in this one. Plus, his uncle is Nolan Ryan. How can you pick against the nephew of one of the greatest pitchers of all time,someone with such a pedigree of success?

MARK BISHOP
Easy, baseball and wrestling are two totally different things. Ryan is a tag team competitor by trade, and Margera has the experience edge.

KOKO B. WARE
So close-minded you are, you'll be proven wrong.

TAMMY WINTERS
All I know is, if that pervert Myke comes over here, we're going to have a second match here and that won't end well for him.

"Never Gonna Stop" by Rob Zombie hits, and the crowd cheers and hollers as SNW's co-owner Matt Margera makes his way from the back to the ring. Slapping hands with the fans, Margera keeps his eyes on Ryan as he comes down to the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Making his way to the ring, from Hurst, Texas! Weighing in at Weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the co-owner of Sports Nutz Wrestling, Matt Margera!

Margera climbs on the apron and into the ring. Choosing not to climb the turnbuckle, rather he just keeps his eyes on Ryan, and Rhines outside the ring.

MARK BISHOP
There aren't many businesses where you can fight your boss and keep your job, however wrestling is the rare exception. How does this affect Marcus Ryan knowing that his opponent is not only an SNW legend but his boss as well?

KOKO B. WARE
It doesn't. Marcus Ryan knows he's better, so there's no reason for him to fear Margera. Everyone looks exactly the same flat on their back, isn't that right Tammy?

TAMMY WINTERS
WHAT!??!?! You bastard, I hope your parrot dies in a fire!

KOKO B. WARE
YOU WHORE, YOU LITTLE SLUT!

Matt Margera vs "The 2nd Coming" Marcus Ryan w/Myke Rhines

The bell rang, and from the opening bell Marcus Ryan took control early. Ryan was able to hit early clotheslines, rocking Margera. Using his size to overpower Margera, he hit press slams and suplexes to put himself into the driver's seat in the earl stages of the match. A quick powerbomb into a pin only garnered a two count, as Ryan tried to scoreboard the fans. Margera took advantage of this distraction, and hit some knife edge chops on Ryan as the crowd cooed "WOOOO" after each one reddened Ryan's bare chest. Margera took control from there, hitting a standing moonsault after a tiger suplex put Marcus on the mat. A quick pin attempt resulted in a two count, as Ryan was able to power out of the pinning predicament.Margera continued to work over Ryan, even hitting Viva La Fusion on Ryan. Margera went for the win but only got two out of the deal. Seeing trouble, Rhines got on top of the apron, and distracted the referee. As Margera went over to knock Rhines off, Ryan hit Margera with a low blow that sent him to his knees. Ryan planted a big boot right between the eyes, but still could only get a two count. Rhines then got up on the apron again, this time holding the metal briefcase that Vin Sin won at 4 Up to enter Cage of Death. Ryan tried to shoot Margera into the case, but Margera reversed it and sent Ryan into Rhines, knocking Rhines down and Ryan's head into the briefcase. Ryan turned around, and was hit with the Benihana. Margera quickly went for the pin, and was able to register the three count and the win.

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Matt Margera!

MARK BISHOP
What a way for Matt Margera to make his in-ring return to SNW! The Benihana after Ryan was sent into the metal briefcase intended for Margera. One must wonder if Vin gave Rhines the briefcase in an attempt to maybe soften up Margera and send a message.

KOKO B. WARE
Are you kidding me Bishop? That match should have ended in a disqualification. Margera used that briefcase as a weapon, that's the only way that he won the match. He couldn't have done it without that help.

MARK BISHOP
You're telling me that Myke Rhines, the ally of the Young Gunz, was helping Matt Margera win the match?

KOKO B. WARE
That is exactly what I am saying Mark. I'm glad you and I can finally understand each other.

TAMMY WINTERS
Wow, maybe instead of the Birdman they should call you the Bird Brain Koko. That makes about as much sense as handing your major title to someone you like, even though the top competition could tear him apart.

KOKO B. WARE
I bet you know about men tearing you apart don't you Tammy?

TAMMY WINTERS
Ugh. Shut up Koko, you're such an ass. Go look for your dead bird and make yourself useful.

KOKO B. WARE
HE IS NOT DEAD YOU DIRTY TRAMP!

MARK BISHOP
OK, settle down you two. Only in SNW could you go from terrible run wrestling federations to zombie parrots. Up next, the fatal 4 way match to determine who will face Soul Reaper on No Holds Barred next Saturday night.

THE FIRST EVER SNW CD WILL BE AVAILABLE AT THE NO HOLDS BARRED EVENT! IF YOU'RE ATTENDING, PICK UP YOUR COPY AT ONE OF THE MERCHANDISE COUNTERS!

[Hollywood]

"Tell Everybody That You Know" is playing over the loud speakers as Criss Cassidy has already entered the ring.

MARK BISHOP
During the break, Criss Cassidy had already begun to make his way to the ring when got into a scuffle with a drunk fan who threw his beer at him.

KOKO B. WARE
Thankfully, security escorted that punk out of the building.

HARRY SACHS
The following is a Fatal 4 Way match, first fall to a finish, for the right to be the #1 contender to the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship. First, already in the ring and hailing from Brooklyn, New York, weighing 215 lbs, Criss Cassidy!

TAMMY WINTERS
Criss Cassidy, the Stanford Blowhard of SNW. Let's see if he can back up ALL of his big talk.

Cassidy's music dies down as a beating pulse is heard over the speakers. The pulse flatlines and transitions into Seether's version of "Careless Whisper" as the fans come alive, cheering as Emo Kid and Hannah make their way to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Hailing from Bakersfield, California and weighing 185 lbs, accompanied to the ring by Hannah, here is Emo Kid!

MARK BISHOP
Emo Kid has been climbing back up the ladder of SNW as of late.

KOKO B. WARE
Well I'm afraid he's about to get knocked down off that ladder tonight.

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't know about that, Koko. Emo Kid knows this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for him, and that another shot like this may never come.

Emo and Hannah share a kiss. Afterward, Emo Kid slides into the ring, climbs the middle turnbuckle and pumps himself and the crowd up as his music dies down. "Superhero" by Jane's Addiction blasts over the speakers, and the fans at ringside boo their lungs out as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels appears and walks down to the ring.

[/color]

HARRY SACHS
From Toronto, Ontario, Canada and weighing 220 lbs, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

KOKO B. WARE
I'm already worried for Kid Thunder. Did you see who the referee is for the match tonight?

MARK BISHOP
Rick Maynard. Why is that important?

KOKO B. WARE
Because Rick Maynard has always been the ref whenever Alex has had a big title shot. I'm not so sure Rick isn't in Matt Margera's back pocket to keep Mr. Alex Daniels from being a top star in SNW.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh that is so ridiculous! Even YOU know that, Koko!

Kid Thunder takes off his entrance attire upon entering the ring while his music dies down. As he hands the entrance attire to one of the ringside attendants, he badmouths said attendant, threatening him with bodily harm if anything happens to his bandana and vest. "Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, and Cannibal Girls" hits, and the crowd goes nuts as Jack Clinton appears.[/color]

HARRY SACHS
And hailing from Beverly Hills, California, weighing 355 lbs, "The Gold Standard" Jack Clinton!

MARK BISHOP
I wouldn't want to be any of Clinton's opponents tonight, as he cannot be in a very good mood after the events of last week on Saturday Night Onslaught when Alex Daniels ambushed him from behind. Not to mention the atrocious and offensive comments Criss Cassidy has made about Clinton.

KOKO B. WARE
Whoa, whoa, whoa! What about those offensive comments that Jack Clinton has been making against Criss Cassidy?!

TAMMY WINTERS
Clinton's just stating facts, Koko.

KOKO B. WARE
So not only are you a whore, you're also a damn racist!

TAMMY WINTERS
The fact that Criss Cassidy has spent time behind bars doesn't make me a racist, Bird Brain!

SNW TEXAS TITLE: #1 CONTENDER'S MATCH
JACK CLINTON vs ALEX DANIELS vs EMO KID vs CRISS CASSIDY[/color][/b]

Clinton enters the ring, and Kid Thunder and Criss Cassidy immediately ambush him as his music gets cut off and the bell rings. Kid Thunder and Cassidy don't have much success as he shoves them both down. Emo Kid runs in with a dropsault to Clinton, but it only staggers him back. Emo Kid is back to his feet and charges at Clinton, but Clinton nails him with a big clothesline, falling down along with Emo Kid. Clinton gets back up and picks Kid Thunder up by the head, lifting him up over his head in a military press. Clinton holds Kid Thunder up in the air in the military press for well over thirty seconds as the crowd cheers him on. Cassidy is back up and runs toward Clinton, but Clinton knocks him down with a big boot while still holding Kid Thunder up over his head. Emo Kid picks himself back up against the ropes, but not soon enough as Clinton throws Cassidy onto Emo Kid, sending them both over the top rope and crashing onto the floor. Meanwhile, the camera shot switches to show Chris Angel and Katrina coming out with chairs in one hand. Angel has a beer in the other hand, while Kat has a Long Island Iced Tea in the other. They set their chairs down and proceed to watch the match.[/color]

KOKO B. WARE
Now wait just a damn minute! What right do Chris Angel and Katrina have being out here?!

TAMMY WINTERS
Yeah, it's totally unfair since Chris Angel and Katrina are well known for interfering in matches, NOT!

MARK BISHOP
We'll find out what kind of role Chris Angel and Katrina will play into this match when we come back!

CATS, THE OTHER WHITE MEAT... SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING[/center]

[Hollywood]

MARK BISHOP
Welcome back to Guys Night Out, and during the break, Criss Cassidy and Emo Kid have been fighting outside the ring.

TAMMY WINTERS
Meanwhile, Jack Clinton has been making Alex Daniels his bitch.

KOKO B. WARE
Things don't look good for Kid Thunder right now, and no doubt Matt Margera gave Jack Clinton an unfair advantage when he visited GNC the other day.

MARK BISHOP
You really have lost it, haven't you, Koko?

We can see Criss Cassidy and Emo Kid brawling out in the audience. Meanwhile, in the ring, Clinton is continuing to work over Kid Thunder with a series of stomps, followed up by a big jumping elbow drop. Clinton with a pin attempt. ONE... TWO... Kid Thunder kicks out. Outside the ring, Cassidy gains the upperhand with a scoop bodyslam, sending Emo Kid down onto the hard floor. Right as Clinton picks Kid Thunder up, Cassidy runs in and nails Clinton with a vicious roundhouse kick, sending him down to one knee. Cassidy follows up with an enziguri that knocks Clinton down. Kid Thunder runs at Cassidy and goes for a clothesline, but Cassidy ducks and nails Kid Thunder with a clothesline to the back of the neck, sending Kid Thunder down facefirst. Cassidy proceeds to get down to the mat and lock Kid Thunder in a side headlock.

[/color]

MARK BISHOP
Criss Cassidy trying to wear Alex Daniels down.

TAMMY WINTERS
Criss and Alex could kill each other for all I care.

KOKO B. WARE
C'mon, Tammy! How could you wish death and ill will for two of the top talents in SNW?

Cassidy leaves the side headlock on Kid Thunder locked in as the crowd grows restless. Emo Kid has picked himself up and climbs onto the apron. He grabs the ropes and flips over, attempting a senton from the apron to inside the ring, but Cassidy gets out of the way as Emo hits Kid Thunder. Right as Emo gets up, Cassidy immediately knocks him down with a spinning heel kick. Clinton is back to his knees, but Cassidy knocks him down with a dropkick to the face. Cassidy regains control with a side headlock on Clinton, and the crowd is angry.

BOOOOORING! BOOOOORING! BOOOOORING! BOOOOORING![/color][/move]

Cassidy lets go of the side headlock and yells at the crowd, telling them that God will strike down upon them with great vengeance.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
Criss Cassidy is making a very costly mistake here by shifting his focus off of his opponents and over toward the crowd.

KOKO B. WARE
It's not his fault that these fans don't know great talent when it's standing among them. And you know, Jesus wasn't very popular with a lot of people when he was walking the earth.

TAMMY WINTERS
This is a totally different matter, Koko.

Cassidy turns around, and is met with a straight punch flush to the jaw, courtesy of Jack Clinton. The crowd roars with approval for the punch that seemingly knocks Cassidy out as he rolls to the outside. Emo Kid is back up, and he and Jack Clinton put their differences aside as they decide to double team Kid Thunder. They stomp away at him and hit him with double axe handle smashes to the back as he tries to get up. Emo and Clinton pick Kid Thunder up and whip him into the ropes, throw him up in the air and step back as he crashes down to the canvas, facefirst.[/color]

MARK BISHOP
Emo Kid and Jack Clinton work together and send Alex Daniels crashing down with a Flapjack.

KOKO B. WARE
But they won't be working together for long.

TAMMY WINTERS
For once I agree with you, Koko. A shot at the SNW Texas Championship is nothing to sneeze at.

Clinton and Emo see Cassidy trying to get up, so Clinton takes Emo and Irish whips him toward the ropes, with Emo flying in between the ropes and nailing Cassidy with a suicide dive as the crowd gives a nice pop for the move. As Emo is picking up Cassidy, Clinton climbs to the top turnbuckle as the crowd "OOOOHs" and "AAAAAHs." Emo and Cassidy turn around, only for Clinton to come flying off the top turnbuckle and to the outside with a flying double clothesline, a la Kane, to a standing ovation.[/color]

MARK BISHOP
This crowd is going ballistic!

KOKO B. WARE
Those three better get up and get out of the way, because Alex Daniels is back to his feet!

TAMMY WINTERS
Incoming!

Kid Thunder runs and jumps over the top ropes and lands a corkscrew plancha onto Clinton, Cassidy, and Emo. Even though the fans hate his guts, they admire his performance as they give Kid Thunder a decent pop. Kid Thunder, who props right back up as he landed perfectly, mockingly claps his hands and delivers a crotch chop, causing the fans to go right back to booing him. Kid Thunder picks Emo up and rolls him into the ring. Before he can slide back in, Cassidy grabs Kid Thunder from behind and delivers an inverted DDT to the floor. Cassidy takes this opportunity to hop onto the apron and climb to the top turnbuckle. Cassidy jumps off the top rope and goes for a Five Star Frog Splash onto Emo Kid, but Emo gets his knees up as Cassidy crashes onto his knees, then clutches onto his stomach. Meanwhile, Hannah slams her hands on the apron, cheering Emo on. But Clinton has gotten back up and slides into the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Clinton back in the ring and a cover on Criss Cassidy. ONE... TWO... Cassidy gets the shoulder up.

KOKO B. WARE
Clinton better turn around.

TAMMY WINTERS
Too late!

MARK BISHOP
Emo Kid leaping into the air and bringing Clinton down hard with that jumping neckbreaker from behind!

KOKO B. WARE
Better look out! Kid Thunder's back in the ring!

MARK BISHOP
Running leg lariat taking Emo Kid down!

TAMMY WINTERS
Kid Thunder's going for it all!

MARK BISHOP
ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Emo Kid somehow kicks out as Hannah buried her face in her hands.

KOKO B. WARE
She might as well keep her face buried, because I certainly wouldn't want to look at Emo Kid's ugly mug.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh stop it now!

Kid Thunder gets up and turns around, only to be met with a spinning neckbreaker from Criss Cassidy. Cassidy with a cover. ONE... Cassidy rolls out of the way as Clinton comes down with a leg drop across Kid Thunder's throat. Cassidy back up, but Clinton grabs him by the throat.

KOKO B. WARE
Goozle!

MARK BISHOP
Clinton lifting Cassidy up in the air, and he's holding him up there with one hand!

TAMMY WINTERS
What strength by Jack Clinton!

MARK BISHOP
And Clinton slams Cassidy down with the Final Destruction!

KOKO B. WARE
That's gotta be it!

MARK BISHOP
ONE... TWO... OHHHH! Emo Kid just blasted Jack Clinton with a Shining Wizard to the head, breaking up the pinfall attempt!

TAMMY WINTERS
Emo Kid better turn around!

KOKO B. WARE
Too late!

MARK BISHOP
Alex Daniels knocks Emo Kid out with the Thunderbolt, but look at this!

KOKO B. WARE
He's covering Criss Cassidy!

MARK BISHOP
ONE... TWO... THREE!

The crowd boos their lungs out, some of them even throwing empty cups into the ring, as "Superhero" blasts over the PA and Kid Thunder runs around the ring, celebrating his win. He bolts out of the ring and to the back to get away from the mob of fans.

HARRY SACHS
Your winner of the match, and #1 contender for the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

KOKO B. WARE
Alex Daniels has another chance to prove to the world why he was the SNW Wrestler Of The Year in 2008!

TAMMY WINTERS
We lose either way because whether he wins or loses, we'll never hear the end of it!

MARK BISHOP
Cassidy is getting back up, and I think he just realizes he ate the pinfall.

Cassidy realizes he has taken the pinfall, and he loses it, kicking Emo Kid in the head right as he gets on all fours. Hannah tries to slide into the ring, but Cassidy stomps on the mat, barely missing her hands as she backs up. Cassidy picks Emo up and puts his head between his head, stretches out his arms, then picks Emo up. Cassidy lifts Emo up over his shoulder's, with Emo face looking up at the ceiling, and slams Emo down with his version of the Razor's Edge.

MARK BISHOP
Criss Cassidy brings Emo Kid down with the Crucifixion!

Criss Cassidy exits the ring, looks underneath and finds a steel chair. Cassidy throws the chair and slides into the ring. Right as he grabs the chair, Angel and Katrina bolt out of their chairs and run to the ring to a big pop from the crowd. Cassidy sees them out of the corner of his eye and bolts out of the ring. Angel and Katrina slide in and check on Clinton as he picks himself up, flipping Cassidy the bird.

MARK BISHOP
Fans, be sure to tune into FOX next Saturday night at 8 PM Eastern, 7 PM Central for No Holds Barred! For Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters, I'm Mark Bishop saying good night![/center]