Guys Night Out: 8/15/09- Club Purgatory

[Hollywood]

Shot opens to a video montage set to the original WWF Shotgun Saturday Night theme. The montage includes Andy Lionheart hitting a random bar patron with a pool cue inside the the Fillmore Pub; the Destruction Crew tearing apart the Glass Cactus; Emo Kid sitting at a bar, cutting himself with a broken piece of glass as random people sitting around him looking on in shock; Enigmah mooning the camera, but that shot only lasts for about a couple of seconds; Myke Rhines chasing after girls in the streets of Downtown Dallas, while Vin Sin tries to hail a cab; and ending with Soul Reaper exiting a train at Victory Station outside the American Airlines Center, wearing his SNW Texas Championship around his waist as a horde of fans greet him.



Shot then switches to a video montage of stock footage from the Dallas/Fort Worth night life as text saying what matches will be taking place pops up on the screen, with Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters providing the voiceovers.

MARK BISHOP
Tonight, on Guys Night Out, SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion, Soul Reaper, takes on Jack Clinton in a non-title match only two weeks away from Summer Bash!

KOKO B. WARE
Jade Claypool makes her in ring debut as she takes on Bianca De Luca!

TAMMY WINTERS
It's three times the mayhem as Revolution X must win in a triple threat tag team match featuring members of Chapter Six and the Destruction Crew, or else Moxie and Christopher lose their Texas Tag Team Title shot at Summer Bash!

MARK BISHOP
Speaking of title shots, Omerta puts his future Texas Title shot on the line against the returning Goryokaku! And in an 8-person wild card tag match, Cyanide must team with Age of SIN to take on SNW Bad Blood Champion, Chris Angel, and Y Kores, tonight, on Guys Night Out from Club Purgatory in Downtown Dallas, TX!

LIVE! CLUB PURGATORY! DOWNTOWN DALLAS!

Shot opens inside Club Purgatory, with scantily clad women dancing everywhere, and metrosexual looking guys making asses of themselves as they try to dance with the girls as “Never Gonna Stop" is playing over the PA while Matt Margera makes his way to the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Welcome to SNW Guys Night Out, live from Club Purgatory in Downtown Dallas, Texas! Mark Bishop here, as always, along with Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters.

KOKO B. WARE
Well we're not wasting any time as Matt Margera is set to make his announcement concerning James Jackson's punishment.

TAMMY WINTERS
It better be pretty severe.

Matt enters the ring, microphone in hand.

MATT MARGERA
As you all saw last week on Saturday Night Onslaught, James Jackson practically tried to commit murder as he attacked my nephew, then threatened to throw my sister off the balcony. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm actually thankful that Nick Scott came out to save her. Earlier this week, I was forced by Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz to listen to James Jackson's side of the story, and he claims that he had no intentions of throwing my sister off the balcony, but that he wanted to let me know how far he's willing to go to take me out at Summer Bash in the War Games. Well, Jackson, I hate to break it to you but you won't get that chance anytime soon, because as of yesterday morning, James Jackson is suspended indefinitely!

TAMMY WINTERS
Alright! Matt makes the right decision, and apparently this crowd agrees as they're cheering Matt for suspending Jackson.

KOKO B. WARE
Right decision my black ass! Matt Margera shouldn't be allowed to make such a decision because it's a conflict of interest!

MARK BISHOP
Are you kidding me?! James Jackson practically threatened to kill Matt Margera's sister!

KOKO B. WARE
But James Jackson had no intentions of doing such a thing, Bishop.

TAMMY WINTERS
Right, and Frankie is still alive.

KOKO B. WARE
I know, but I can't find him.

TAMMY WINTERS
I was being sarcastic, you idiot!
The cheers of the crowd morph into boos as "Ecstasy of Gold" hits over the PA system and "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, flanked by the Sports Nutz, appears inside Club Purgatory.

GORDIE
Matt, you forgot the little deal we made that allowed you to make such a major decision. You see, by suspending James Jackson, you have left Chapter Six without a partner for the War Games. As you recall in our meeting yesterday morning, if we allowed you to suspend Mr. Jackson, then you had to allow us to pick a partner for Chapter Six, and it could be anybody, whether they were already on the SNW roster or not. Well we have decided to help out someone that you unjustly suspended a little while back for... "backstage misconduct?" Are you kidding me? Ladies and gentlemen, the new partner for Matt Margera... reactivated immediately... "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

The boo birds are out in full force as "Superhero" hits and Kid Thunder makes his appearance, dressed in black slacks and a dark blue tailored dress shirt. Gordie hands him the mic as his music dies down.

KID THUNDER
Did you idiots miss me or what?

The crowd boos.

[/color]

KID THUNDER
As much as I don't really care for Craig Mueller on a personal level, on a business level I can agree with him and show a little bit of gratitude because the Sports Nutz realize when someone decides to abuse their power and ego trip. Let's call this person Matt M. Nah, how about M.Margera. This man decides he's going to treat people like garbage left and right just because he doesn't like them. James Jackson, I don't care for you either, but I can relate to you in terms of that little skater punk being a horse's ass and giving you the cold shoulder and it's time someone did something about that. So Gordon Heath, I'm going to do something I don't really do that often or ever. I'm going to thank you for not letting this injustice of a suspension go on any longer. You brought me back and I'm going to do the best that I can to make sure Margera is taken down a few pegs.

Matt Margera and Kid Thunder yell trash-talk to each other, despite their distance apart.

SNW PRESENTS SUMMER BASH, LIVE ON PPV AUGUST 29 FROM THE SOLD OUT WILL ROGERS COLISEUM IN FORT WORTH, TX![/center]

[Hollywood]

"Bad Girlfriend" blares over the PA, and the crowd boos upon seeing Vincent Matthews, but some of the guys in the crowd hoot and holler upon seeing Jade Claypool, who's being led out to the ring by Vincent.

HARRY SACHS
The following contest is set for one fall. First, from Orlando, Florida and weighing 125 lbs... accompanied to the ring by Vincent Matthews, here is Jade Claypool!

MARK BISHOP
We get to see the in ring debut of Vincent's girlfriend, Jade Claypool, tonight as she takes on Bianca De Luca.

KOKO B. WARE
I don't care who wins this match. I want to see some clothes go flying!

TAMMY WINTERS
You're such a dirty, old man, Koko.

Vincent walks up the steps and onto the ring apron, with Jade following him. He holds the ropes open for her as she enters the ring, her song dying down. "Black Leather" hits, and the crowd continues to boo as Gavin Tyler leads Bianca De Luca out to the ring. However, just like for Jade earlier, there are some guys in the audience hootin' and hollerin' for Bianca. She looks to her left, then to her right and shakes her head as she heads to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Her opponent, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing 142 lbs... accompanied to the ring by Gavin Tyler, here is Bianca De Luca!

MARK BISHOP
An interesting bout here as neither girl are fan favorites among the majority of SNW fans. However, they are vastly different from each other.

KOKO B. WARE
Another rare instance where I agree with you, Mark. Jade is all about her looks and dolling herself up, and isn't afraid to show off some of her beautiful body. Meanwhile, Bianca is all about competition, and while she's good looking in her own right, she's not one to show off for the crowd. Tammy, what do YOU think about Bianca?

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't get me started on that bitch.

Bianca sees Tammy over at the broadcast table and glares at her, then flips her the bird.

OOOOHHHH!

Tammy shoots up out of her chair, ready to bolt, but Koko and Bishop manage to keep her restrained.

Bianca De Luca w/Gavin Tyler vs Jade Claypool w/Vincent Matthews

[/u]

Bianca and Jade started the match off fast and furious, exchanging a flurry of high powered offensive maneuvers. Jade gained the upper hand after Bianca telegraphed an overhead back body drop by ducking her head down, with Jade taking advantage of the mistake and taking Bianca down with a snap suplex. Jade continued to work Bianca over, trying to get her to submit to a Fujiwara Arm Bar, only for Bianca to make it to the ropes. Jade would then try to get Bianca to submit to a Bow and Arrow hold, but that didn't workas Bianca refused to give up, so Jade had to eventually let go. Jade stomped away at Bianca, and followed up with an elbow drop. Thinking she had Bianca where she wanted her, she climbed to the top rope and came flying down with a top rope splash. The only problem was that Bianca rolled out of the way, and Jade crashed and burned down to the canvas, holding her midsection and wincing in agony. Bianca then went to work on Jade, going on the offensive with any move she could pull out of her arsenal. Bianca thought she had the match won after a vertical suplex turned into a piledriver as she went for a pinfall, but Jade kicked out at two. The girls couldn't keep the match in the ring for much longer as Bianca ran and went for a Cactus Clothesline, taking herslef and Jade out onto the floor among the people inside Club Purgatory. Vincent Matthews tried to pull them apart, only for Bianca to rake his eyes and slam him facefirst into the ring apron as Vincent fell to the floor. Gavin Tyler then tried to pull the ladies apart, only for Jade to kick him in the nuts. Referee Danny Travers then went out after the ladies, who had fought all the way over to a secluded red bar underground bar area, only for both ladies to grab him, place him on top of the bar table and send him sliding on the bar as glasses of mixed drinks were knocked all over the place, with the bar patrons scattering to get out of the way. Finally, Club Purgatory security and SNW officials were able to get the ladies separated.[/i]

MARK BISHOP
Well I think it's safe to say that this all out brawl has ended in a no contest as these two ladies literally fight down to the Pit of Hell in Club Purgatory!

KOKO B. WARE
First Dreadlock and Alexander Draven, now Jade Claypool and Bianca De Luca. With tensions running high and nobody being able to keep their matches inside the ring, I'm not so sure every match on the Summer Bash card doesn't need to be contested inside the steel cage with a roof on it like the War Games.

TAMMY WINTERS
Bianca's just lucky the fight didn't spill out over here, or I would've gotten her back. She better hope for her sake that she starts dolling herself up, because when I get the chance, I'm stripping her of her clothes and showing off her buck naked body to the SNW fans, just like she did to me!

MARK BISHOP
Thank goodness we're on cable TV after midnight. Right now, let's send it over to Luna Vachon, who's standing by with Myke Rhines on the Heaven level of Club Purgatory.

Shot switches over to Luna Vachon. Myke Rhines doesn't seem to be standing by with her, however.

LUNA VACHON
Guys, I don't know who's idea this was for me to try to interview Myke Rhines on the Heaven level of Club Purgatory, because he won't stop harassing the cocktail waitresses dressed up like angels up here.

One of the waitresses, holding a tray of drinks in her right hand, is trying to get away from Rhines. She doesn't see where she's going and bumps into Luna, knocking herself on top of Luna as both the waitress and Luna fall down. Luna picks herself, only for Rhines to grab her and throw her to the side as he shouts "OUTTA MY WAY, STUPID BITCH!" He then tries to go to pick up the waitress, only for Club Purgatory security to run and swarm in on Rhines, grabbing him and forcefully escorting him out of the club.

TAMMY WINTERS
Serves that dirty, old man right!

MARK BISHOP
We'll be back after this!

SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING COMING TO TRINITY HIGH SCHOOL IN EULESS, TX, SATURDAY NIGHT, AUGUST 22 FOR A LIVE EVENT! GO TO SNW.COM FOR MORE DETAILS, AND TO FIND OUT WHEN SNW IS COMING TO YOUR AREA![/center]

[Hollywood]

"Journey Through The Dark" booms over the PA and the crowd boos the returning Nathaniel "Goryokaku" Draven and Tanya Adams who accompanies him down to the ring. Draven and Adams stop short, and Draven puts his hands together in the appearance of a prayer while the fans boo even more lustily.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring from Lowestoft, England. Weighing in at 245 lbs. and accompanied to the ring by Tanya Adams, Nathaniel "Goryokaku" Draven!

Tanya holds open the ropes so Draven can climb in the ring, and together they stand in the middle of the ring as Draven sends his right arm into the air.

MARK BISHOP
Well, tonight we are seeing a little slice of significance as we are witnessing the return of Goryokaku to SNW. Lately we have been seeing promos featuring him on SNW television, but tonight we see the live in ring return as he wrestles Omerta.

KOKO B. WARE
Man I'm so amped up for this! I can not believe we are seeing Nathaniel Draven back here in SNW! This is making my wrestling pants go insane, Omerta better watch his ass because he is going to get it kicked tonight!

MARK BISHOP
How do you know that? Gory has been out of action for a few months, and Omerta has been in frequent competition as of late.

KOKO B. WARE
Easy, Draven is a better competitor in every sense of the word than Omerta is. He has no chance because Omerta is not on Draven's level. He's not even in the same game, on the same console brand even.

TAMMY WINTERS
Of course you'd made that connection, such a freaking nerd. Do you have your twenty sided die there as well Dungeon Master Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
No but if I did I know where I'd shove it...

"Omerta" emanates from the PA, and the fans cheer as Omerta comes out from the back for his match. He approaches the ring with a somewhat respect for his opponent, however interacts with the fans just the same.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at 300 lbs., Omerta!

Omerta climbs in the ring, but instead of posing keeps his eyes on both Draven and Adams, wary of any funny business they might try to pull before the bell.

MARK BISHOP
Well, Omerta has a very vested interest in winning this match. His shot at the Texas Title, which he earned when participating in the Race to the Championship scramble is on the line here. Should he lose, Goryokaku will now gain that shot...hold it what's going on now?

All of a sudden "Ecstasy of Gold" plays over the PA, and out walks Commissioner Craig Mueller wearing his ever present Tom Landry hat and suit combination. The fans boo him, however he ignores them as he raises his microphone to speak.

CRAIG MUELLER
Well, I'm quite sorry to interrupt the brilliant commentary of Mark Bishop... who am I kidding I'm not interrupting anything. I just came out to deliver a message to Goryokaku. I know you're ready to return to action, however due to our displeasure of allowing Matt Margera to return to SNW, this match has been changed. See Omerta you still need to win this match to retain your title shot, however Goryokaku if you win the match you will NOT receive the shot. So, with that in mind, good luck and let the match begin now before Bishop decides to blow more hot air.

Mueller briskly walks back to the back, ignoring the boos and trying to keep the flying beer cups from hitting his hat.

Omerta vs. Nathaniel "Goryokaku" Draven w/ Tanya Adams

The match started in quite the odd fashion. Gory tempted Omerta to charge and attack, which Omerta did but missed as Gory was able to quickly move out of the way. This continued for a couple of times, before Gory hit Omerta with a dropkick. Gory controlled the match, using various submissions to wear down the larger Omerta and test his cardio. He also used quite a few power moves that instead of transitioning to a pin he would lock in a submission move. Omerta was able to rally somewhat near the end, finally using his power moves to overcome the barrage by Gory. The finish came when Omerta missed on a dropkick, and Gory was able to quickly hit The Gory Kick. However, instead of going for the pin right then, he went to the Okaku lock. Gory leaned backwards, and soon had Omerta tapping out and giving Gory the win in his return.

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner, Nathaniel "Goryokaku" Draven!

MARK BISHOP
Well, now that the Commissioner is not here to interrupt me, we had a very interesting match. Gory made his return like he never left. Ended the match via submission, however does not walk away with Omerta's now former title shot.

KOKO B. WARE
Judging by this performance Mark, he doesn't need the charity of defeating a lesser wrestler. He looks to be in the shape to earn his shot himself judging by that performance

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't mind Goryokaku coming back, but why did he have to bring that bitch Tanya Adams back?

KOKO B. WARE
Oh ho! Me sense a bit of jealousy there. Someone is a tad bit annoyed that their place is going to be usurped?

TAMMY WINTERS
In about thirty seconds your going to sense my fist in your little Frankies if you don't shut up.

SONIC DRIVE IN! WHERE THE QUESTION ALWAYS IS "DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A PORNO SOMETIME?"

[Hollywood]

"Sinner" plays over the PA and the crowd boos heartily as Linkin Strife and Xalar Malum, led by Doomsday, make their way from the back to the ring. The trio look angrily at the hating crowd as they continue to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following match is your Wild Card 8 Person Tag Team match and it is scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring first. Linkin Strife, Xalar Malum, and Doomsday, the Age of SIN!

Malum and Strife took separate corners while Doomsday took the middle of the apron. The hatred of the fans spills out with boos and middle fingers as they enter the ring and take their corner.

MARK BISHOP
A special treat for our fans tonight as we get a peek at two Summer Bash matches here. Not only will we see in action Chris Angel and Cyanide who will battle for the Bad Blood title, Age of SIN will take on Y Kores in a six man match.

KOKO B. WARE
You have to give Age of SIN the edge in that match up Bishop, they've got a pretty evident size advantage as well as they have penises.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh god Koko how low can you really go? You really think that just because Y Kores are females that they have less chance to win?

KOKO B. WARE
Think? I know! Of course they are at a disadvantage, of course you would stick up for them. All you hens stick together...

MARK BISHOP
Settle down you two, don't make me get the garden hose after you.

"Cyanide" plays on the PA, and the boos transform into cheers as Cyanide comes out from the back. Ignoring the crowd, he goes down to the ring keeping his eyes on his three partners as if he doesn't trust them fully.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner from San Jose, California. Weighing in at 225 lbs., Cyanide!

Cyanide climbs into the ring, and instead of taking a turnbuckle or posing he just walks over to his corner. His partners clear out as he advances, as they obviously do not want to aggravate him.

MARK BISHOP
Cyanide the #1 contender for Chris Angel's Bad Blood championship has a challenge on his hands tonight as he teams with three people who quite frankly he has nothing in common with.

KOKO B. WARE
Yes, but lets be fair here even though I have no love for Cyanide, facing Y Kores, He has a Y chromosome, so that automatically makes him better.

TAMMY WINTERS
God you are SUCH a misogynist Koko! Go look for your freaking dead bird and shut the Hell up.

KOKO B. WARE
That's just a cheap shot you cheap slut!

MARK BISHOP
God why couldn't the other Mark leave his bottle of whiskey here, it looks like I am going to need it tonight.

"You Better Pray" plays over the PA, and the fans continue to cheer as Adriana Samu, Petrina Rotchester, and Rory Kotch all come out accompanied by Xander Nova. Adriana is her usual bubbly self, and the other two are serious as always as they come down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, being accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova. “Everyone’s Favourite Canadian Lady” Adriana Samu,“The Assassin” Rory Kotch, “The Other Girl” Petrina Rotchester, Y Kores!

The trio enters the ring, with Nova staying on the outside of the ring. They each take a corner, and pose for the adoring fans as their opponents look on and leer.

MARK BISHOP
Y Kores obviously looking to try and get an edge here tonight for Summer Bash, with any luck hoping to weaken them up to make their match that much easier.

KOKO B. WARE
Stupid bunch of air headed bitches...

TAMMY WINTERS
Takes one to know one, hows that bird hunt coming there Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
You better appreciate how much self control I really have Tammy...

"Stranglehold" blares over the PA, and the fans pick up their cheers as the Bad Blood champion Chris Angel comes out from the back. Angel slaps hands with the fans with his belt sparkling from around his waist, as he keeps his eyes open for attractive girls.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner, from Los Angeles, California by way of Dallas, Texas. Weighing in at 280 lbs., he is the SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel!

Angel climbs in the ring and hits a turnbuckle. Unstrapping his belt from around his waist, he holds it up in his right hand to the cheers and flashbulbs of the crowd. He gets down and hands the belt to the referee, and gets ready while his three partners stare at him shamelessly.

MARK BISHOP
Chris Angel certainly has his work cut out for him right here and at Summer Bash when he takes on the former Von Erich Memorial champion Cyanide. However, he has to not only face him but Age of SIN here tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
I still say Alex Daniels or Rick Roll should be in Cyanide's place and be facing this jack off Angel.

TAMMY WINTERS
You'd probably put that bird corpse in there against Angel if you thought he had a shot...

KOKO B. WARE
He's not dead, and even if he was he'd still do a better job in the ring than you would you damn tramp.

Cyanide and Age of SIN vs. "The Dream" Chris Angel and Y Kores

The match started out with Doomsday and Rory Kotch in the ring. Doomsday dominated Kotch early, using his power and size to keep the tough Y Kore member down and out by using high impact power moves. Much of the same continued when Doomsday tagged out to Linkin Strife even though Cyanide was ready to take the tag. Cyanide looked on with a mix of anger and frustration as Strife worked over Kotch, who eventually was able to execute a quick headscissors out of the power bomb position and hit a quick tag to Chris Angel. The momentum swung in the direction of Angel's team, as he was able to catch Strife flat-footed and work him over negating Strife's size. However, both hit a clothesline on each other and that sent both to the mat. Angel crawled over and was able to tag in Adriana Samu, and instead of Cyanide Strife tagged in his partner Xalar Malum. Cyanide grew even more angry when he saw Samu use her speed and quickness to control Malum. The match took a turn when Malum had finally gotten the momentum back with Samu backed against the corner, and while he was driving his knees into Samu's midsection Cyanide slapped Malum on the shoulder and tagged himself in. Malum and Cyanide had a stare down, and Strife got in the ring to yell at Cyanide. Eventually, Cyanide shoved both Strife and Malum. After that, all three members of the Age of SIN simply exited the ring and walked to the back leaving Cyanide alone. However, in the time that transpired Samu was able to get back to her corner and tag back in Rory Kotch. Cyanide was still watching his teammates walk out on him when Kotch was able to hit Cyandie with the Iron Curtain and get the three count for her team.

HARRY SACHS
Here are you winners of the match, Y Kores and "The Dream" Chris Angel!

MARK BISHOP
Well the Wild Card title fit this match, as Cyanide caused his partners to walk out on him, and then proceeded to choke like the Rangers did on Friday night when Rory Kotch was able to hit the Iron Curtain and win the match.

KOKO B. WARE
I told you Bishop, I told you! Cyanide not only doesn't deserve that Bad Blood title shot, but he got pinned by a freaking girl! A Russian one at that!

TAMMY WINTERS
She could probably take you down Koko, she looks pretty tough. Maybe she should get that title shot, she pinned the #1 contender.

KOKO B. WARE
No, not really. Only a good strong American male should hold SNW titles.

MARK BISHOP
Strong nationalism and misogyny shown by my broadcaster partner, who is taking after his leader Ed Carter. The opinions of Koko B. Ware do not necessarily reflect the views of myself or Sports Nutz Wrestling.

THIS SEGMENT BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE ROBINSON TOWNSHIP POLICE DEPARTMENT! IF YOU WANT TO STALK AND POSSES HGH, DON'T YOU DARE DO IT HERE! KURT ANGLE ENDORSED!

[Hollywood]

"TNT" plays over the PA, and the fans cheer as the SNW Texas Tag Team champions Andrew Smith(clad in a striped referee shirt) and Mike Rutherford come down to the ring. Smith climbs into the ring, and Rutherford puts on his headset and sits down between Mark Bishop and Koko B. Ware.

MARK BISHOP
We are pleased to welcome one half of the SNW Tag Team champions to the broadcast booth with us, Mike Rutherford. Mike, glad you have you with us for this next match.

MIKE RUTHERFORD
Hey it's great to be out here. I mean it beats sitting in the back listening to certain people complain about Dunpork eating all the food! And I'm not kidding about that!

KOKO B. WARE
Well, before the combatants come out, I just want to ask you a question. Do you think you have any chance against Revolution X at Summer Bash? They seem to have it all going on for them, and all you did was beat two stoners for those belts.

MIKE RUTHERFORD
If Revolution X can pull something off then yes, we can. I'd like to know what they have going on for them. I mean Andrew beat Kayden a few weeks ago and last week the Alley Ratz beat them.

"An Open Letter to NYC" plays, and the fans boo as Kayden Christopher and Johnny Moxie come out wearing their New York Tag Team Championship belts around their waist. They jaw jacked with the fans, as they made their way to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following Triple Threat Tag Team match is scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring, they are the self-proclaimed New York Tag Team Champions "The Savior of the Suplex" Kayden Christopher and Johnny Moxie, Revolution X!

The pair get in the ring and mount the turnbuckles. They are showing off their belts and the fans are chanting "THOSE ARE FAKE THOSE ARE FAKE THOSE ARE FAKE" as they climb down and congregate.

MARK BISHOP
Well, here come the #1 contenders for TNT's titles Revolution X. However, should they lose this match they will no longer be the contenders. Mike, do you think they will keep their status after this match?

MIKE RUTHERFORD
To quote the almighty Master Shake: "Yes. No. Maybe!"

KOKO B. WARE
What the Hell kind of question is that Bishop? Here's a real question for the champion. Should Revolution X lose, which they won't by the way, who do you think will get their title shot and then beat you for the titles?

MIKE RUTHERFORD
I can tell you who it won't be: REVOLUTION X!

"Bodies" hits on the PA, and the fans continue their boos as Sean O' Brien and Nick Scott come out from the back. The pair soak in the boos as they come down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, first representing Chapter Six. Nick Scott and Sean O' Brien!

They get in the ring, and both pose on the turnbuckle as Revolution X looks on. They climb down and plan as they wait for the third team to show up.

MARK BISHOP
Chapter Six has been on a roll recently, with the Williams Brothers winning two matches in a row. Now its up to Nick Scott and Sean O'Brien to continue this roll going into War Games.

KOKO B. WARE
Mike, do you think along with me that Chapter Six will win at War Games since they aren't led by a talking vagina named Matt Margera?

MIKE RUTHERFORD
Look is that Frankie?

KOKO B. WARE
WHERE?!?!?!?!

Koko wildly looks around as Bishop and Rutherford exchange a high five as Koko is furious over being tricked. "One Bourbon, One Scotch, and One Beer" hits the PA, and the crowd cheers as The Mauler and Mike Hanson come out from the back. Both come down to the ring slapping hands with the fans.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, secondly representing the Destruction Crew. The Mauler and Mike "Beastman" Hanson!

Mauler and Hanson get into the ring, and the other two teams clear the ring and hit the floor as they climb the turnbuckles and pose for the cheering crowd.

MARK BISHOP
The Destruction Crew looking to try and build up some momentum, and with a win maybe getting a chance at the tag titles along with War Games. What's your opinion on War Games Mike, who do you think has the edge?

MIKE RUTHERFORD
Mark, that match could go like Tammy: either way. Okay kidding aside, it's hard to say who has the edge. Everyone in it wants to end someone's career. But I'm going to pick Matt and The Destruction Crew to win it.

TAMMY WINTERS
Mike, will we ever see your wife here in SNW? With the recent influx with Jade Claypool, Bianca De Luca, and the return of Tanya Adams it seems like females are making a run here.

MIKE RUTHERFORD
I'd love to have my beautiful wife here in the company. She could show a few of these women what true talent is but she's got her hands full. So no and that probably made a certain group of women happy.

Revolution X vs. Nick Scott and Sean O'Brien vs. The Mauler and Mike Hanson

Mauler and Christopher started the match out, and quickly Mauler established his dominance over Christopher. Mauler was able to thwart his suplex attempts, and turn those into slams and suplexes of his own. Big impact power moves, until Christopher quickly tagged Hanson. A quick glance was exchanged between the two partners, and Mauler quickly lunged at Scott and tagged him in. Hanson and Scott battled, going back and forth with Hanson hitting clothesline and big boots and Scott using DDTs and ground moves to neutralize Hanson's power and size advantage. Hanson tags out to Moxie, who runs in and dropkicks Scott, and uses speed to execute various kicks to try and beat down Scott enough for a three count. Scott was able to tag out to O'Brien, the freshest man in the match while Moxie was forced to tag out to Christopher. Christopher landed an Exploder suplex, and was only able to get a two count from referee Andrew Smith. Christopher and Smith argued, and Smith ended up shoving Christopher into Mauler who wasn't paying attention. Mauler then began arguing with Smith, saying that the tag wasn't legal and Christopher is still the active man. However, in the fighting O'Brien quickly got the roll up and used the tights. Smith could not see the tights being grabbed, and made the three count for O'Brien and Scott. During the whole melee, Moxie came over to the broadcast table and spat at Mike Rutherford, who responded by clocking Moxie in the head with his SNW Texas Tag Team Championship belt to a big pop from the crowd.

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners, Nick Scott and Sean O'Brien!

MARK BISHOP
Well, a very odd ending to this match. Sean O'Brien was able to roll up The Mauler when he was arguing with Andrew Smith over the tag when Christopher and Mauler collided. O'Brien then used the tights, and got the three count.

MIKE RUTHERFORD
I've seen odder endings. But hey at least Andrew did remain fair. Maybe a few people can take a hint from that...or could have if they weren't reading Cosmo, cleaning their dolls, or cramming a whole footlong in their mouth!

KOKO B. WARE
Well, I personally feel outraged that Andrew Smith has successfully screwed Revolution X out of their tag title match without them even being involved in the decision. I knew you two had a plan, and this had to be it. So, you had to conspire to keep those two from taking your titles. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

MIKE RUTHERFORD
...this coming from a man who chases after a dead bird!

KOKO B. WARE
HES...NOT...DEAD!

MARK BISHOP
Settle down you two, now before we go to break we better squeeze in one good question for the champ. Mike, with Revolution X no longer the #1 contenders, you will have to contend with an unknown team in two weeks. How will you and Andrew have to change your game planning now that your opponents are up in the air?

MIKE RUTHERFORD
The game plan will never change. No matter who we face we are going to walk into Summer Bash as the champions, kick some ass, and walk out still with the SNW Texas tag team Titles.

MARK BISHOP
OK thank you, Mike Rutherford of TNT joining us on commentary for this match. Revolution X no longer the #1 contenders for TNT's Tag Team titles after Chapter Six's victory in the Triple Threat Tag tonight.

DO YOU WANT TO SCREW THE STARS? THEN BUY A REALDOLL! REALDOLL: NOW WITH DAVID ARQUETTE AND KOFI KINGSTON MODELS AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE!

[Hollywood]

Shot opens inside the SNW Event Center. Misty Crawford is standing by for the Summer Bash Report.

MISTY CRAWFORD
We are counting down the days until the SNW wrestling event of the summer, Summer Bash. And with only two more weeks to go until Summer Bash at the sold out Will Rogers Coliseum in Fort Worth, Texas, there have been big changes made to two of the big matches on the card. First off, TNT will still defend the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles, but we don't know against who now as Revolution X lost their triple threat tag team match earlier on in the night. However, the SNW Championship Committee has been in meetings all week to determine a tag team worthy enough of a shot at the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles at Summer Bash, and from what I've been told, they came to a decision yesterday morning as to who would replace Revolution X if they lost the triple threat tag match. Well, Revolution X has lost that match, and we'll find out who they have selected tomorrow on SNW.com.

Now another change to the card affects one half of the double main event, the War Games. Two teams of five fighting inside two rings surrounded by a steel cage with a roof on top of the cage, and it was going to be Matt Margera leading the Destruction Crew against James Jackson and Chapter Six. But after what James Jackson did last week on Saturday Night Onslaught when he again attacked Matt Margera's nephew, Cody Mack, as well as threatened Cody's mother, Matt's sister... Well, Matt had no choice but to suspend James Jackson indefinitely! However, as you heard from Matt earlier tonight, SNW co-owner Gordon Heath stated that Matt could only make such a ruling if he allowed "The Excellent Gordie" to select a new partner for Chapter Six in the War Games. Matt obviously agreed to those terms, and as you heard Gordie earlier tonight, Chapter Six's new partner for War Games will be none other than the now reinstated "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, who attacked Matt earlier tonight inside Club Purgatory. No doubt, Kid Thunder is looking for retribution for what he feels was an unfair suspension at the hands of Matt Margera. Now a quick rundown on how War Games works. Before the match, there will be a coin toss. The team that wins the toss will have a one man advantage throughout the match. The match starts with one member from each team inside the cage, and they will fight it out for five minutes. After five minutes, the team that wins the coin toss will then send in a new teammate, and it will be a two-on-one advantage for that team for two minutes until the other team sends in a new teammate. This keeps going until all ten men are inside the cage, and only after all ten men are inside the cage can one of the teams surrender.

The other half of the double main event will see the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship go on the line in a Three Way Dance, where the match doesn't end until two wrestlers are eliminated either by pinfall, submission or knockout. There are no disqualifications and no count outs in this match. This match will see the SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion, Soul Reaper, defend the belt against "The Black Hearted Warrior" Vincent Matthews and Jack Clinton. The interesting thing here is that Reaper lost to Vincent Matthews last week on Saturday Night Onslaught in a non-title match, and tonight he's taking on Jack Clinton in a non-title match. No doubt, Soul Reaper does not want to lose two straight matches going into this huge match.

Also slated for Summer Bash, the SNW Von Erich Memorial Title goes on the line as Katrina defends the gold against Emo Kid. Both Katrina and Emo Kid hold a win a piece over each other, so one could say that this will be the rubber match.

You the fans have voted, and SNW will listen as "The Dream" Chris Angel defends the SNW Bad Blood Championship against Cyanide in a Taipei Deathmatch. Now here is how this match works in case you've never seen a Taipei Deathmatch before. Before the match, both Chris Angel and Cyanide will tape their fists, then dip said fists in glue and broken glass. Angel and Cyanide will then be able to wail away on each other as much as they please until one of these men can score a pinfall victory.

In a six person tag team match, Doomsday will lead Linkin Strife and "The Renegade" Xalar Malum into battle against "Everybody's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu, "The Assassin" Rory Kotch and "The Other Girl" Petrina Rochester. Age of SIN and Y Kores have engaged in quite the rivalry since Linkin Strife and Xalar Malum assisted Marcus Ryan in a victory over Y Kores several weeks ago.

More tag team action as Bianca De Luca and Gavin Tyler take on the Alley Ratz.

In a Falls Count Anywhere Match, Alexander Draven will take on Dreadlock. Now what role will Goryokaku play in this? As you know, Alexander Draven and Gory are brothers, but Alexander Draven has come to SNW to help watch Katrina's back, as well as work with Chris Angel and Jack Clinton. And we all know how kindly Gory takes to those who he feels turns their backs on him.

And these two weren't able to get a decisive winner a couple of weeks ago on Guys Night Out, so maybe we'll find out who's the better of these two as Andy Lionheart takes on Criss Cassidy.

Fans, don't be left out. Call your local cable or satellite provider today and order SNW Summer Bash, live on Saturday night, August 29, on a PPV basis. When we come back, the SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion, Soul Reaper, takes on one of his Summer Bash opponents in Jack Clinton.

Shot goes to Revolution X storming into the Heaven level of Club Purgatory, turning over some tables as they angrily approach Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller, who's downing bottled water. He's startled when they come in.

CRAIG MUELLER
Guys! Calm down or I'll have you suspended quicker than Matt Margera ever could!

JOHNNY MOXIE
Oh, very funny, Commish! Just what the hell was all that about?! Did you not see Mike Rutherford interfering in that match?!

KAYDEN CHRISTOPHER
Yeah, I thought TNT weren't supposed to intefere!

Matt Margera walks in and says "That's where you're wrong," causing Rev X to turn around and roll their eyes at him.

MATT MARGERA
You see, the contract only stipulated that Andrew Smith had to be unbiased, NOT Mike Rutherford. So if the referee, which in this case was Andrew Smith, couldn't see Mike Rutherford interfering, then he can't call it. However, I think we can reach a compromise.

JOHNNY MOXIE
Oh it better be good, or I'll have you laying down in the grave in between Kerry and David Von Erich!

Infuriated, Matt rares back and slaps Johnny Moxie as hard as he can in the face.

MATT MARGERA
Don't you ever show that much disrespect again! Now, if you'll allow me to explain, at Summer Bash, the match pitting Gavin Tyler and Bianca against the Alley Ratz will now be a triple threat tag team match. And the winning team will receive a shot at the Texas Tag Team Titles at a later date after Summer Bash. Now, does that seem fair?

Both Johnny and Kayden let out respective sighs and mutter "whatever" under their collective breaths as they walk out.

SNW NO HOLDS BARRED: THE ARCADE! SOON TO BE PORTED TO THE XBOX 360, PLAYSTATION 3 AND NINTENDO WII!

[Hollywood]

"Ratfinks, Suicide Tanks, and Cannibal Girls" hits, and the fans cheer their heads off as Jack Clinton makes his way down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
This is a non-title match, set for one fall. First, from Beverly Hills, California and weighing in at 355 lbs, Jack Clinton!

MARK BISHOP
With just two weeks to go, Jack Clinton and Soul Reaper are about to do battle in a match that may give us a glimpse of what's to come at Summer Bash when these two, along with Vincent Matthews, duke it out in a Three Way Dance for the SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship.

KOKO B. WARE
I don't know if a match this close to Summer Bash is wise on either man's part here. Jack Clinton is coming off a concussion, and I'm hearing rumors that Soul Reaper may have tweaked a hamstring.

TAMMY WINTERS
First off, Koko, those rumors about Reaper tweaking his hamstring have been proven false. And second, Jack Clinton only suffered a mild concussion.

KOKO B. WARE
Well look at Miss Smart Mark over there. By golly, you must know everything!

Jack Clinton enters the ring as his music dies down. "Inside the Fire" hits, and the crowd goes crazy as Soul Reaper, clad in his trademark sleeveless hooded robe and wearing the SNW Texas Championship belt around his waist, makes his way down to the ring with an ice cold stare in the direction of Jack Clinton.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent, hailing from Fresno, California and weighing 242 lbs... he is the current SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion... Soul Reaper!

MARK BISHOP
Soul Reaper suffered a crushing defeat last week on Saturday Night Onslaught at the hands of Vincent Matthews. Can Soul Reaper bounce back from that loss and get on the right track with a win over Jack Clinton tonight is the question on everyone's mind.

KOKO B. WARE
Actually, the question on my mind is if you like this gig.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh brother, don't start with that!

Non-Title Match
Jack Clinton vs Soul Reaper

Clinton and Reaper started the match a bit slow with a feeling out process, but Clinton got the ball rolling with a powerful clothesline to Reaper after Reaper missed a clothesline of his own. Clinton dominated a good portion of the match, save for a portion of the match where Reaper was able to get in a flurry of offense, hitting Clinton with a series of stiff kicks and following up with a Soul Stealer DDT. Reaper went for a pin after the DDT, but only got a two count as Clinton military pressed Reaper off his chest, sending Reaper flying up into the air and crashing down onto the canvas. Clinton waited for Reaper to get back up and turn around, and right when Reaper turned around, Clinton grabbed him by the throat, picked him up and slammed him down with the Final Destruction. Clinton went for the pin and it was all she wrote as he won it with the one, two, three.

[/i][/color]

HARRY SACHS
Your winner of the match, Jack Clinton!

MARK BISHOP
A big win for Jack Clinton as... look out!

Vincent Matthews comes running down to the ring with a light tube, runs in and smashes across the back of Clinton's head as the loud pop of the light tube busting apart echoes throughout Club Purgatory.

OOOOOHHHHH![/color]

KOKO B. WARE
What a brilliant move on the part of Vincent Matthews! Take out the competition before Summer Bash by trying to cause Jack Clinton to suffer another concussion!

TAMMY WINTERS
What do you mean brilliant?! This is deplorable!

MARK BISHOP
And here come Chris Angel, Katrina and Alexander Draven to the rescue!

Right as Angel, Kat and Alexander Draven slide into the ring, they are followed in by Marcus Ryan, Jade Claypool and Samuel Hale. Those six brawl with each other as Vincent Matthews continues to beat on Jack Clinton, but Clinton is fighting back and knocks Vincent down with a big clothesline.

MARK BISHOP
We've got a free for all breaking out here in the ring, and now here comes Goryokaku to join the fracas!

KOKO B. WARE
And he's immediately going after Katrina!

TAMMY WINTERS
But here comes Emo Kid to try to save the day!

MARK BISHOP
Emo Kid realizes that if Goryokaku takes out Katrina, there's no match at Summer Bash!

Emo Kid brawls with Gory outside the ring, but Gory gains the advantage with a knee to the midsection. He runs in, and immediately Alexander Draven tries to cut him off with a clothesline, but Gory ducks. Alexander turns around, and Gory knocks him out with a Gory Kick. Dreadlock runs down to the ring, slides in and stomps away at Alexander for good measure. Emo Kid runs in and tries to nail Gory with a spinning heel kick, but Gory ducks out of the way and hits Katrina by mistake, drawing the ire of Chris Angel. TNT run down to the ring and brawl with Marcus Ryan and Samuel Hale, followed by Revolution X, Alley Ratz, Gavin Tyler and Bianca De Luca joining in on the brawl as the crowd is going crazy!

KOKO B. WARE
This is more awesome than Tammy Winters handing out free plumpkins!

TAMMY WINTERS
Why you!!!!

Tammy jumps over Mark Bishop and goes after Koko B. Ware, and those two are now fighting. Meanwhile, Andy Lionheart, Criss Cassidy, the Destruction Crew, Chapter Six, Kid Thunder, Y Kores and Cyanide all join in on the brawl. Even fans in the audience start brawling with each other, with people throwing cups of beer and chairs all over the place. Mark Bishop ducks under the table, only for a drunken Mark Followill to grab him and start brawling with him as the show statics off the air abruptly.[/center]