Guy's Night Out 2/6/10

[sh17]

RECORDED EARLIER

Shot opens to Commissioner Craig "Senior" Mueller standing by in the SNW Studios to deliver a pre-recorded announcement.

CRAIG MUELLER
Last night on The Main Event, "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews successfully defended his SNW Texas Heavyweight Championship against Soul Reaper. As you all know, "The Dream" Chris Angel is the #1 contender to the SNW Texas Heavyweight Title, and he fulfilled his obligation recently when he successfully defended his SNW Bad Blood Championship in a triple threat match against the Completely Italian Americans. With WrestleStock II coming upon us, it is my decision that on March 27 at WrestleStock II inside Cowboys Stadium in Arlington, Texas, it will be champion versus champion, title for title. "The Dream" Chris Angel and "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews will battle for both the Bad Blood and Texas Heavyweight Championship. And since the Bad Blood Title is on the line, along with the Texas Title, there will be a special match stipulation added to the match. The match stipulation will be announced next Saturday night, on a special edition of Saturday Night Onslaught from Ticketstock 2010 at the Plano Centre in Plano, Texas.

The WWF Shotgun Saturday Night theme plays to a montage of video clips that show the Destruction Crew brawling with bar patrons inside a saloon at the Fort Worth Stockyards, Vincent Matthews and Jade Claypool getting out of a limousine in Downtown Dallas, shots of bartenders getting drinks for patrons, bar patrons shooting strange looks at Goryokaku inside Razzoo's in Sundance Square, Silvus smashing windows at an abandoned building, Soul Reaper standing atop a building in the dead of night with smoke blowing by, and the montage ending with a DART train going full speed ahead into the camera shot, giving off the effect of the train coming at the TV screen.



We see text detailing the matches coming up set against the backdrop of various shots of Dallas/Fort Worth night life as Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters provide the voice overs.

MARK BISHOP
Hello everyone, and welcome to Guy's Night Out, the post The Main Event edition! We've got a jammed packed show for you tonight, as we begin the quest for a new Von Erich Memorial Champion!

KOKO B. WARE
Yes, thanks to the fine work of my two new favorite wrestlers Katrina...err I mean Wench and Matt Margera, a four person tournament has been slated to crown the new champ.

MARK BISHOP
That's right, and tonight we will see the aforementioned Wench try and take a step towards regaining her title as she faces off against perennial contender "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

KOKO B. WARE
And in our main event, the other tournament semi-final match will be held as the newly returned James Jackson faces his first test in his personal journey back against Jack Clinton.

TAMMY WINTERS
Also, Rory Kotch will face off against "The Intellectual" Manny Saul with Xander Nova and Coach Tom Foolery in their respective corners. Plus, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara will try to filibuster Andy Lionheart as they go head to head in singles competition.

MARK BISHOP
All that and next from the Scat Jazz Lounge in scenic Sundance Square in Fort Worth!

LIVE! THE SCAT JAZZ LOUNGE! FORT WORTH!

"You Can Run" booms over the speakers, and Versus Vince walks out toward the ring, raising his right arm. On his way to the ring, he points over to the fans and slaps hands with them.

HARRY SACHS
This match is set for one fall. Introducing first, from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico and weighing 195 lbs, Versus Vince!

MARK BISHOP
Versus Vince, making his debut here in SNW.

KOKO B. WARE
Let's hope he works out better than a long list of people who saw they couldn't cut it here and ran off.

TAMMY WINTERS
From what I know about Versus Vince, me thinks he'll work out better than failed bits such as Evan Bodom, Derek Sitar, Beer, Dredd, Josh Knox, Baron, Xavier Serikaz, and the now infamous Cody Pugh.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent, already in the ring... hailing from Quebec City, Quebec and weighing 241 lbs, Mike LaFontaine!

Versus Vince vs Mike LaFontaine

LaFontaine tried to ambush Vince, but it was to no avail as Vince sidestepped him, dropping LaFontaine facefirst into the middle turnbuckle with a drop toe hold. Vince showed off some of his high risk offense as he dominated LaFontaine with his speed and quickness. Vince slammed LaFontaine down hard with a snap suplex, then climbed the turnbuckle and went for it all with a Shooting Star Press, but only got a two count for his efforts. LaFontaine tried one last ditch effort to make a comeback, but it was no use as Vince whipped him hard, chest first, into the corner, then ran and delivered the Versus Vince Express, followed by a three count for the victory.

HARRY SACHS
Your winner of the match, Versus Vince!

MARK BISHOP
Impressive debut by Versus Vince, picking up the win over Quebec's worst.

KOKO B. WARE
I'll tell Mike you said that.

TAMMY WINTERS
Well it's not as if Mike LaFontaine has racked up that many wins here in SNW.

MARK BISHOP
Right now, let's take it to Brenda Price, who's standing by in the SNW Control Room for the WrestleStock II Report.

Shot switches to the SNW Control Room, with Brenda Price standing in front of dozens of TV monitors showing action from SNW's past. Brenda Price is standing by.

BRENDA PRICE
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to your WrestleStock II Report. WrestleStock II will be emanating from Cowboys Stadium, or as it's better known, the Death Star, or Jerry World to some of you. And believe it or not, WrestleStock II is sold out, and the only way to see it is live on Pay Per View, Saturday night, March 27 at 7 PM Eastern/6 PM Central. How about the big announcement coming down from SNW Commissioner, Craig "Senior" Mueller? In case you missed it, the main event for SNW WrestleStock II will be champion versus champion, title for title. SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel will put his title on the line against SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion, "The Warrior" Vincent Matthews, who will ALSO be putting HIS title on the line. And as Craig stated earlier at the top of the show, next Saturday night from Ticketstock 2010 in Plano, Texas for a special edition of Saturday Night Onslaught, he will announce the stipulation for the main event, seeing as that the Bad Blood Title will be on the line, along with the Texas Heavyweight Title.

But there's more. The SNW Texas Tag Team Titles will be up for grabs as Death Sentence, Soul Reaper and Cyanide, finally get the rematch they deserve, taking on the team that practically stole the belts from them down in Brownwood, Texas on No Holds Barred last month, the Young Gunz, Samuel Hale and Marcus Ryan. And Myke Rhines has stated that he will be ringside for both matches involving the Insurgence members. In the weeks to come, we will announce more matches for WrestleStock II. Remember, the only way to see it is on Pay Per View. Call your local cable or satellite provider now!

TICKETSTOCK 2010! NEXT FRIDAY AND SATURDAY FROM THE PLANO CENTRE IN PLANO, TEXAS! GO TO WWW.THETICKET.COM FOR MORE DETAILS!

[sh17]

"Ghost Love Score" booms over the PA, and the fans boo as Manny Saul, accompanied close by Coach Tom Foolery, struts out from the back down to the ring. Foolery blows his whistle at the fans a la Bill Alfonso whilst Saul criticizes the fans for the obscene language and gestures they are aiming at him.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall! Making his way to the ring first, being accompanied by Coach Tom Foolery. From Lake Highlands, Texas, weighing in at 245 lbs., "The Intellectual" Manny Saul!

Saul slowly ascends the ring steps, careful not to dirty his fancy robe on the steps or the ring. In the ring, he puts his hand to his chin in an intellectual pose. Foolery is going crazy outside the ring, trying to get the crowd revved up but he only gets more jeers.

MARK BISHOP
We are getting set for singles action, and Manny Saul looks to be as cocky as always waiting for his opponent.

KOKO B. WARE
Cocky? No sir that is a look of confidence, pure and simple. And who wouldn't be confident when you have the intelligence of Manny Saul?

TAMMY WINTER
Considering he looks like someone that was pulled off a West Texas oil rig, I'd be very shaky.

KOKO B. WARE
OK Narcissa, you keep looking into that polished mirror of yours.

TAMMY WINTER
And you keep looking for that bird of yours...

MARK BISHOP
For God's sake people can we keep it together for at least ONE week?

KOKO B. WARE
Apparently not, with this stupid dyke next to me.

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't you call me that you stupid n...

MARK BISHOP
WHOA! Let's keep it PG-13 people! Don't get us an ACLU call here!

"The Beautiful People" booms over the sound system, and the fans go up in a cheer as Rory Kotch, pipe in her grasp and accompanied by Xander Nova, comes out from the back. With her free hand, she slaps the lucky fans on the rail as she slowly walks down down the aisle.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent from Moscow, Russia and accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova. Weighing in at 200 lbs., "The Assasin" Rory Kotch!

Kotch goes through the middle ropes, as Saul backs into a corner with his eyes on the swinging pipe. Foolery tries to come over and eye at Nova, who glares at Foolery and he quickly runs back to Saul's side of the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Rory Kotch looks to pick up a win here, and both people could really do with a win here tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
Yes but let's be fair here Mark, Rory is at a distinct disadvantage with her lack of a Y chromosome here. The lack of such a genetic part will severely hamstring her.

TAMMY WINTERS
So you're saying basically that because she's a woman, she has less chance of winning?

KOKO B. WARE
No, I'm citing science here you dumb bitch!

TAMMY WINTERS
DON'T MAKE ME KILL YOU BIRD BRAIN, SO HELP ME GOD I WILL!

MARK BISHOP
Do you see what I'm up against here?

"The Intellectual" Manny Saul w/Coach Tom Foolery vs. "The Assassin" Rory Kotch w/Xander Nova
The match started with some pandering and showmanship by Manny Saul, who tried to get Rory Kotch into a trivia contest. She stared at him for a minute, and laughed at him while the crowd joined in as Saul got furious with the ridicule. He tried to charge Kotch with a boot, but she ducked and Saul crotched himself on the top rope to the delight of the crowd. She then delivered a big boot right to his side, that sent him over the top ropes and spilling onto the floor right on his face. Saul smashed the ring floor as he got up, and climbed back into the ring where he got with a clothesline by a running Kotch. Coach Foolery jumped on the apron, trying to draw Kotch offisdes. She smiled at him maliciously, but it gave Saul the opportunity to regain his composure and get into a three point stance. Kotch turned around, and Saul buried his shoulder into her as she fell to the mat. Saul proceeded to work Kotch over the next several minutes with his power and wrestling ability, even locking Kotch in the Tantalus Clutch, but Kotch refused to give up. Kotch hiptossed Saul down to the mat and seemed to have things going her way until she went for a brainbuster as Saul was able to block the attempt and reverse it into a gutwrench suplex, with Saul continuing to work over Kotch for several more minutes. The match shifted back into Kotch's favor when Saul whipped her into the ropes and went for a clothesline, with Kotch ducking under and countering with a neckbreaker, taking Saul down, and she used her strength and agility to her advantage over Saul. Kotch seemed to have everything in hand when she went for a superplex, but Saul hit her with several forearm shots, finally knocking her down to the canvas. Saul then went for a leg drop off the middle rope, but Kotch rolled out of the way as Saul grimaced in pain while holding the small of his back. Kotch got up, and both she and Saul were locked in a stare down. However, all of a sudden, Foolery rushed into the ring and smashed Kotch in the head with his clipboard. Not to be outdone, Nova grabbed Kotch's pipe and entered the ring, slugging Saul from behind with the pipe. The referee looked seriously confused, and called for the bell as all of a sudden Tony Manzetti and Vinny Appice ran down and start to beat down Kotch and Nova. The fans booed as Nova got hit with the Atlantic City Plunge by the CIA. As they set Kotch up for the same treatment, Adriana Samu and Petrina Rotchester quickly ran down the aisle to the ring carrying steel chairs, causing the Sports Authority to bolt out of the ring. Rotchester threw her chair at the quartet, but missed by about a foot as they scattered like cockroaches.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, due to the actions of the respective managers, this match has been ruled a double disqualification.

MARK BISHOP
Well we had the makings of a good match here, but Coach Tom Foolery came in and assaulted Rory Kotch. Xander Nova stood up for his wife, and before you know it the crap hit the fan and we got a double DQ on our hands.

KOKO B. WARE
Just shows you can't involve a woman in anything and expect it to go easy.

TAMMY WINTERS
Right, because Rory was the one that forced that jackass Foolery to assault her. He was unprovoked in his assault, and should be fined.

KOKO B. WARE
Hey, show some respect. That man is a coaching legend, and don't you question his decisions!

TAMMY WINTERS
Please, he's won as much as Wade Phillips has! Was he even a coach?

KOKO B. WARE
I'll have you know that before he became a fine manager, he led the fearless young men of Lolligag High School for many years.

TAMMY WINTERS
And he won how many state football titles?

KOKO B. WARE
Let's not get bogged down in minutia here...

COMING SOON TO THE DALLAS AREA, THE HIPPEST NEW CLUB IN TOWN. THE RECONSIDER LOUNGE, WHERE THE QUESTION ALWAYS IS "DO YOU LIKE THIS GIG?"

[sh17]

"American Lab Rat" screeches over the PA, and the fans boo and strike up a chant of "USA USA USA" as Tyler Guevara strides out from the back. Moving his massive frame down the aisle, he rebukes the chants of the fans by yelling at them "KEEP LIVING IN YOUR DELUSIONAL WORLD SHEEPLE!"

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring, from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at 300 lbs., "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

Guevara hikes his leg over the top rope, hoisting himself into the ring. The crowd increases the boos and the chants, while Guevara starts screaming random political and conspiracy theories that just confuse the crowd but do not cease them.

MARK BISHOP
Well, the artist formerly known as Omerta better bring more to this match than his rampant theories about the government if he wants to win. Andy Lionheart is very cagey, and will pose a mismatch for him.

KOKO B. WARE
Open your eyes Mark, you need to wake up to this vast conspiracy around us. We are living in a political cesspool.

MARK BISHOP
When did you become a political science major?

KOKO B. WARE
I went to one of Mr. Guevara's backstage lectures, and I learned quite a bit. That government of ours is screwing us quite hard.

MARK BISHOP
Well Hell I didn't need some lunatic with a bald head to tell me that, look who we elected to be the President...

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't you be slamming my man BHO. That is one tall drink of chocolate milk right there.

KOKO B. WARE
Right, he's black. And Magic Johnson really is HIV positive.

MARK BISHOP
Don't know why you felt the need to refer to it as Magic, but keep that personal information off air please Koko.

"This War is Ours" plays over the PA, and the fans switch their attention and applause to Andy Lionheart, who appears at the top of the aisle with a wild look on his face. He sprints down the aisle and slides under the bottom rope very Julio Borbon like.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent from Kemi, Finland. Weighing in at 210 lbs., "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart!

Lionheart hops to his feet, and shakes his head to get the hair out of his face. Guevara looks down upon him condescendingly, as his opponent bounces a moment and preps for the match.

MARK BISHOP
Andy Lionheart looks amped for this match, and he better be. His opponent is almost a foot taller and 90 lbs. heavier, so his work is cut out for him.

KOKO B. WARE
He drew the short straw, and now has to try and cut down a redwood with a plastic spork.

TAMMY WINTERS
Right, you can take Koko's word on this. He knows all about being a foot shorter than the guy next to him.

KOKO B. WARE
What the Hell does that mean?

TAMMY WINTERS
I have my sources in the locker room. They've said that maybe Frankie isn't the only thing you have a hard time finding.

KOKO B. WARE
...

MARK BISHOP
What did I do to deserve this God?

"The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara vs. "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart
The match almost false started, as the bell rung however Tyler Guevara got distracted by a sign in the front row that said "YOUR MOM'S A POLITICAL CONSPIRACY." Guevara was in a screaming match with the teenage boy, however, he pointed behind Guevara. He spun around, and was hit right in the face with Atonement and Andy Lionheart went for a quick pin but only got a two count. Lionheart was able to control the match in the outset, using various moves to keep Guevara unbalanced. He chained a jawbreaker into a Face Buster, and was able to take down his much taller opponent with a snapmare neck breaker. Lionheart went for a leg drop, but Guevara rolled out of the way, and Lionheart landed hard on his ass. Guevara followed that with a swift kick to the chest, that knocked the air out of his opposition and gained Guevara a two count. He brought Lionheart to his feet, and whipped him into the corner. For a couple of minutes, he kept him trapped in the corner with several harsh knife edged chops that drew a "WOOOO" from the crowd every time hand hit chest. Guevara went for a Dangerous DDT out of the corner, but Lionheart broke the hold and delivered a boot to the gut. With his foe doubled over, Lionheart capitalized with a DDT of his own. He went for the pinfall, but got a near fall as Guevara's foot found the bottom rope. Lionheart got Guevara up, and came back over to the turnbuckle, climbing all three until he was perched at the top. He grabbed Guevara around the neck, and dove off only to be thrown back on his feet by Guevara. In a very swift movement, Guevara was able to counter the super cutter and hit Lionheart with the M.I.A, and go for the cover. 1...2...3!

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen here is your winner of the match, "The American Lab Rat", Tyler Guevara!

MARK BISHOP
Wow, back and forth action led to a raucous ending that had Lionheart posed in the high risk district but Guevara was one step ahead and made his opponent MIA.

KOKO B. WARE
A big win for the only man with a pair big enough to speak the truth about America's political system nowadays.

TAMMY WINTERS
Because we all know Koko's pair is very little.

KOKO B. WARE
That is not true at all.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh please, you're no Greg Oden!

MARK BISHOP
At this rate, Tyler Guevara could make it to the NBA being seven foot tall and all. He won tonight however, so the Dallas Mavericks sure as Hell won't have any interest in him as they appear to have no interest in winning themselves. Now, let's throw it backstage to our correspondent Bob Sturm who has a prediction on Sunday's Big Game!

The camera pans back to Bob Sturm, who is not his usual cheery self. With a butterfly bandage on his bald head, two black eyes, and a cast on his leg, he seems to be struggling pal.

BOB STURM
Well uh, and again I don't know if uh you people out in the uh SNW crowd watch anything uh other than this uh wrestling company. Heretofor, I will say that the uh Super Bowl, and again when I say the Super Bowl I mean I.E. the "Big Game" that is played in uh Miami. So uh, if you need to get over the uh Norm Hitzges uh Triple Play Flu, and again I'm not saying Norm's picks have been absolutely abysmal lately but I am. In this uh matchup between the Indianapolis Colts and the uh New Orleans Saints, I think it's fairly uh obvious to anyone who has uh watch this game that we call football that is played on the football field that uh neither of these teams have Brett Farve. I mean, look at the uh teams. Sure, Peyton uh Manning and uh Drew Brees are great, but compared to Brett Favre, Bart Starr, and Lynn Dickey,they aren't good enough to uh coach PeeWee football. With that said uh, if you are going to bet on the game this weekend, and again I'm not advising you bet this weekend because uh that's not what God wants, but uh God is a Cheesehead so he uh already doesn't like you. What was I getting to? Oh, right the uh Super Bowl. With all of these facts uh flushed out, gimme the Packers by uh 17.

THE NATIONAL BASKETBALL ASSOCIATION: WHERE WANTING TO BUST A CAP IN YOUR TEAMMATES ASS OVER A GAMBLING DEBT IN THE LOCKER ROOM HAPPENS!

[sh17]

"Don't Wait Up For Me" screeches over the sound system, and the fans boo as Wench walks out from the backstage area to the aisle. The hiss and catcalls are roundly ignored, and Wench outwardly laughs at a sign that says "WENCH=WITCH WITH A B" as she walks to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following is a Von Erich Memorial Title tournament semi-final match scheduled for one fall! Making her way to the ring first, from Lenoir, North Carolina. Weighing in at 110 lbs., Wench!

Wench slides under the ropes, and mounts the turnbuckles. The fans boo her, but she taunts them mercilessly with an air of confidence bordering on cockiness.

MARK BISHOP
Here we go with our first of two Von Erich Memorial Title tournament matches. Wench and her lover Matt Margera are the whole reason we are even having this, as she holds some sour grapes towards the former champion Super Vader...

KOKO B. WARE
Sour grapes? No sir, she has a legitimate beef with that tub of goo. That was her rightful title, and that mammoth monolithic monster had stolen it from her. Wouldn't you be angry with that if it was you?

MARK BISHOP
She didn't have it stolen from her, she lost it fair and square. No cheating, no lying, fair as fair can be.

KOKO B. WARE
Well, look at you trying to be Mr. Moral High Ground. Open your eyes, this woman got screwed.

TAMMY WINTERS
I'm sure, with all the time Matt Margera and Wench spend together there's been some screwing going on...

MARK BISHOP
Allright, that's QUITE enough!

"Superhero" blares over the PA, and the fans boo as Alex Daniels walks out from the backstage area to the top of the aisle. He walks with a cocksure attitude, even though someone is blatantly flashing a sign that says "KID THUNDERASS" which Daniels ignores.

HARRY SACHS
Her opponent, from Toronto....Ontario.....Canada. Weighing in at 220 lbs., "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

Daniels goes through the second and top ropes, and gives Wench a wink and a grin at which she rolls her eyes and continues to stretch for the match.

MARK BISHOP
If confidence was the determining outcome of this match, you could go ahead and just hand the title to Alex Daniels. Not one to be unsure of himself, he gets yet another chance to gain SNW gold.

KOKO B. WARE
And this could be his best chance yet, a four man tournament that unlike the BCS gives ALL of its competitors a fair chance to win the ultimate prize.

MARK BISHOP
We all must wonder now if Alex Daniels will be Alabama or Texas, the crusher or the crushee in this match.

TAMMY WINTERS
Mhm, Colt McCoy, talk about someone I wouldn't mind being crushed by...

KOKO B. WARE
Wasn't aware you like to taste the rainbow Tammy. You know he's a queer right?

TAMMY WINTERS
He is NOT! He's engaged for God's sake!

KOKO B. WARE
Tell that to Jordan Shipley and his big bottle of AstroGlide...

MARK BISHOP
WHOA WHOA! TMI Koko, good Lord!

Wench vs. "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels(Von Erich Memorial Tournament semi-final match)
The bell rang and the fans were treated to one Hell of a match. The beginning of the match saw each wrestler trade moves. They locked up, and Wench hit a quick DDT and got a one count. Daniels popped back up, and popped her with a smooth dropkick and also got a one count when he went for the pin. Both got up, and stared each other down, and began to trade chops. Back and forth they went, with each competitor drawing a "WOOOO" from the audience until the chops increased in frequency so much that the fans couldn't keep up. Eventually Daniels got the best of Wench, and flattened her with a forceful clothesline. Over the next couple of minutes, Daniels continued to inflict pain upon Wench using a vast array of suplexes. One Sambo suplex led to a near fall, however Wench was able to grab the bottom rope and break the pin before the three count. At one point Daniels had Wench locked in a Sharpshooter, and looked to have the match won. However, somehow someway she was able to crawl to the bottom rope and clasp it to force a break that Daniels reluctantly gave on the count of four. Daniels was up while Wench writhed on the ground in pain from the submission, looking like he had the match won and strutting as such. He grabbed Wench by the hair, and got ready to hit her with the Thunderbolt. Suddenly, a quick kick to the stomach knocked Daniels off and Wench smashed him in the chin with a devastating superkick that sent him to the mat. Wench fell dow om top of Daniels, as the referee counted 1...2...3!

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Wench!

MARK BISHOP
Talk about pulling a victory out of thin air. Daniels had this match all but won, but Wench broke out the trademark finisher of Matt Margera, the Benihana, and took home a victory and a berth in the finals.

KOKO B. WARE
This is one step towards vindication for Wench. Now all she has to do is win one more match, and she will have her rightful title back.

MARK BISHOP
One must wonder how Alex Daniels can recover from this defeat? He has become the Josh Howard of SNW, crumpling when the spotlight is on him the most. Can he ever break through and win the big one?

KOKO B. WARE
Well no one is real sure, and at this point no matter how much I love me some Kid Thunder you've got to be skeptical.

TAMMY WINTERS
You've got to figure Matt Margera taught Wench how to do his Benihana, and one must wonder what Wench taught him in order to gain that knowledge.

KOKO B. WARE
Maybe it involves that book of Kama Sutra I saw Matt Margera carrying around the last couple of days...

MARK BISHOP
Oh good Christ, really?

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[sh17]

"Kashmir" booms over the PA, and the fans boo as James Jackson strides out to the aisle. The boos rain down upon Jackson, who keeps his focused locked squarely in the ring and ignoring the hatred.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a Von Erich Memorial Title tournament semi-final match scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Los Angeles, California. Weighing in at 220 lbs., James Jackson!

Jackson climbs through the ropes, and instead of scaling the turnbuckles stays flat footed on the canvas getting in some last minute prep time.

MARK BISHOP
The second of our matches to crown a new Von Erich Memorial Champion is about to happen before us. James Jackson, who last week had a successful return by defeating longtime SNW stalwart Silvus now has his chance to make his return golden.

KOKO B. WARE
And I fully expect him too. James Jackson was and is a huge asset to this company, one of its brightest stars. Now, he finally gets the chance to wear some shine around his waist should he win this tournament.

MARK BISHOP
The winner of this match goes on to face Wench in the finals. Neither of these men have ever worn the Von Erich Memorial belt, while Wench has. Will this give her an advantage no matter who comes out of this match?

KOKO B. WARE
Well, quite possibly. If it's James Jackson, no. Jack Clinton, yes. Clinton has never won a title in SNW, while Jackson has held the Bad Blood Title at 4 Up. You've got to figure he can handle the spotlight, while Clinton hasn't proven it.

TAMMY WINTERS
I've gotta say though, James Jackson sure would look nice with nothing but that Von Erich title around his waist...

KOKO B. WARE
Boy you got that right...

TAMMY WINTERS
WHAT!??!!

KOKO B. WARE
Huh?

MARK BISHOP
Oh dear, that's very unfortunate.

"Enter Sandman" booms over the sound system, and the fans cheer as Jack Clinton, followed closely by Chris P., walks out from the back. He takes massive strides, with Chris keeping up the best he can.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent, accompanied to the ring by Chris P. From San Diego, California, weighing in at 355 lbs., Jack Clinton!

Clinton climbs into the ring, however the referee quickly rushes over to where Chris P. is standing and tells him to leave. Clinton turns back around and is angry with the referee, who explains that with no managerial license Chris P. can't be at ringside. He leaves with the fans aiming their boos at the official.

MARK BISHOP
Already Jack Clinton is running into trouble, as his associate Chris P. is sent backstage. This could alter his focus, which he can't afford against a competitor like Jack Clinton.

KOKO B. WARE
Damn right there Mark. Jack Clinton has a definite size advantage, however Jackson brings a skill and mental advantage. He is confident, and Clinton has no reason to be.

MARK BISHOP
I wouldn't go that far, Clinton has had quite a few high profile matches here in SNW including two main events with Vincent Matthews.

KOKO B. WARE
And he didn't win EITHER match did he? Jackson has won on the big stage, Clinton hasn't.

TAMMY WINTERS
Jackson has such beautiful eyes...

MARK BISHOP
Oh dear, I'm surrounded by idiots here.

KOKO B. WARE
Hey that's my line!

Jack Clinton vs. James Jackson(Von Erich Memorial Title Tournament semi-final match)
The bell rang and these two strode across to each other, with Jackson coming up a foot short to his opponent Clinton. Clinton smiles, but Jackson slugs him right in the stomach causing him to bend at the waist. Jackson follows that up with a Yakuza kick that floored Clinton. Jackson quickly slides into a single crab, trying to end the match early in a submission. Too much fight left in him, Clinton powers out by kicking Jackson with his free leg and forcing the hold to be broken. Clinton staggered to his feet, clutching his midsection and receives a running knee right to the skull that fells him from Jackson. A quick pin only garners a two count, as Clinton physically pushes Jackson up and off him. Jackson clutched Clinton when he got up, but was shoved away and Clinton punished Jackson with a boot right to the face. Clinton took the offensive with this move, including a power slam that shook the ring with the force put behind it. Jackson crawled to the turnbuckle to try and regain himself, but Clinton started stomping him in the corner with his large boot, drawing an intense cheer from the crowd. The referee finally intervened, forcing Clinton off of Jackson. Clinton celebrated as the crowd gets fired up, as Jackson stands up in the corner. Clinton charged into the corner with a vicious big boot, but Jackson ducked and caused Clinton to crotch himself on the turnbuckle. Jackson saw the hangup, sprung himself up onto the top rope and jumped from the rope over to Clinton hitting him with a dropkick that sent him to the mat. Both men landed square on the mat, and the referee started going to a ten count. Both men staggered to their feet at the count of eight, and started slugging each other back and forth. The boos came when Jackson connected, and cheers when Clinton landed. Both men bounced off the ropes and went for a clothesline but again both men went down on the mat. The crowd has taken to chanting "THIS IS AWESOME THIS IS AWESOME THIS IS AWESOME!" The referee counts again, and this time both men get up at the count of nine. Jackson tried to go on the offensive, but Clinton popped him in the throat with a punch, and shoved him between his legs. Clinton jerked him up, and looked ready to drill Jackson with the Three Story Hell Ride. Jackson punched Clinton in the head, causing him to drop Jackson who landed on his feet. Jackson quickly hooked up Clinton, and hit him with the Jackson Driver. He rolled Clinton over and hooked his leg as the fans booed 1...2...3!

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, James Jackson!

MARK BISHOP
That is what you call a main event folks. Jack Clinton looked ready to advance, but a quick counter by James Jackson, and in the end it will be James Jackson vs. Wench to determine the next Von Erich Memorial champion.

KOKO B. WARE
Everything we expected out of that match, and just like I expected James Jackson was just THAT much better. He succeeded under the bright lights again, just like I predicted.

MARK BISHOP
You were indeed right Koko, and while both of these men fought very hard someone had to lose.

KOKO B. WARE
And let's be fair, the right man won this match. Jackson is a true fighter, while Clinton just hasn't have what it takes.

TAMMY WINTERS
I'll say this, the best looking man won this match. I can live with this.

KAY BAILEY HUTCHINSON: A TRUE AMERICAN AND TEXAS HERO. UNLIKE RICK PERRY AND HIS HAIR, WHO WERE ONCE SEEN TRYING TO RECRUIT FOR ADOLF HILTER. IT'S EVEN BEEN SAID THAT RICK PERRY DRIVES A FUNKY LITTLE GERMAN HITLER CAR. HE ALSO USES AUSTRALIAN HAIR CARE PRODUCTS. CAN YOU TRUST A MAN WHO USES FOREIGN HAIR CARE PRODUCTS? VOTE FOR KAY BAILEY HUTCHINSON,A TRUE TEXAS LEGEND AND SOMEONE WHO ONLY USES AMERICAN HAIR CARE PRODUCTS! (AD PAID FOR BY GEORGE DUNHAM)

[sh17]

Shot opens at the broadcast location, where Mark Bishop is sitting in between Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters, with their headsets on.

MARK BISHOP
What a crazy weekend it's been here in Sports Nutz Wrestling, starting with last night on The Main Event, and capping it off with tonight's Guys Night Out. And by the way, I want to thank you Koko and Tammy for not physically tearing each other's heads off.

KOKO B. WARE
Well it's not easy, but I'm a good man.

TAMMY WINTERS
Yeah, good at counting the lights. I bet you couldn't even beat Damien Demento!

KOKO B. WARE
You better watch yourself!

MARK BISHOP
This is one time I'm going to agree with Koko, Tammy. Watch yourself, because we don't want Damien Demento coming out of Youtube retirement again just so he can lambaste us because we mentioned his name. In any event, we normally air Guys Night Out every other week, but the next time we're here for Guys Night Out will be in three weeks as Guys Night Out will emanate from Duke's Original Roadhouse in Bedford, Texas on Saturday night, February 20...

TAMMY WINTERS
Mark, I hate to cut you off, but someone is screaming in my headset that there's a commotion outside the Scat Jazz Lounge, somewhere in Sundance Square.

Shot switches to outside in Sundance Square, right in front of Jake's Burgers. Soul Reaper and Cyanide are doing a number on Gordon Heath, Craig "Senior" Mueller and George Dunpork.

KOKO B. WARE
Security! Security! Somebody get out there and stop those monsters!

MARK BISHOP
Gordie and the Sports Nutz are getting what's been coming to them, as far as I'm concerned!

Reaper slams Gordie down on the hood of a taxi cab with a Reapercutter. Meanwhile, Cyanide blinds Craig Mueller with green mist, then does the same to Dunpork. Reaper and Cyanide take the Sports Nutz inside Jake's Burgers, where fans have been watching Guys Night Out on the TV screens inside, and they're going crazy. A fan hands Reaper his bacon cheeseburger, so Reaper takes a bit out of it, then smears it all over Dunpork's face before knocking him out on the floor with the Soul Stealer DDT. Meanwhile, Cyanide knocks Mueller out with the Last Breath on the floor. Death Sentence stand over their fallen foes as they soak in the cheers of the fans inside Jake's Burgers.

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