Guys Night Out: 4/10/10- The Clubhouse

[Hollywood]

In a pre-show dark match:
-Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis def. Burrito Jimmy via submission following the Afternoon Cloud.

We see a video montage of night life in Dallas/Fort Worth set to the tune of "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-O-Rama."



Shot opens inside The Clubhouse as the camera pans around to show everybody inside, most of whom look like they were rejected for the cast of "Big Brother" and/or "Jersey Shore," dancing around like a fool.

LIVE FROM THE CLUBHOUSE! DALLAS, TX!

MARK BISHOP
Hello everyone, and welcome to Guys Night Out, live from The Clubhouse in Dallas, Texas!

Camera switches over to the broadcast location to show Mark Bishop and Koko B. Ware standing by, with Tammy Winters dancing on the broadcast table. Koko rolls his eyes.

MARK BISHOP
I'm Mark Bishop, alongside Koko B. Ware and Tammy Winters.

KOKO B. WARE
And don't forget, desperate men, that Tammy Winters is available for any and all post-show plumpkins.

Tammy stops dancing and hops down off the table, seething with anger at Koko.

TAMMY WINTERS
Excuse me?!

MARK BISHOP
OK! Let's calm down now! Anyway, tonight, the Alley Ratz take on Y Kores to determine who will face Death Sentence for the Texas Tag Team Titles, but we still don't know which two ladies will represent Y Kores.

KOKO B. WARE
And speaking of tag team action, Versus Vince teams up with Chris P. to take on Alexander Draven and Tyler Guevara.

TAMMY WINTERS
Personally, I'm looking forward to seeing Wench and S.T. Strickler kill each other in a non-title match. Send both of those asswipes to the hospital for all I care!

MARK BISHOP
And we will see the Destruction Crew in 8-man tag team action!

The all too familiar "Stranglehold" hits and the crowd inside the Clubhouse is immediately in an uproar. Without disappointing, the new SNW Texas Champion walks out, dressed in jeans and a red shirt, with his bad Blood Title hanging off his left arm while the Texas Championship hung off the right. With a grin on his face, he walks down to the ring amid all the twenty something fans that could be mistaken for the cast of "Jersey Shore."

MARK BISHOP
We're not going to waste any time here! A homecoming, of sorts, for our new SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion and also the reigning SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel!

TAMMY WINTERS
What a great event WrestleStock II was, and my hats off to our new Texas Champion.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm sure your hat wouldn't be the only thing you'd take off for Chris, you gutter slut.

TAMMY WINTERS
Excuse me?!

MARK BISHOP
Please! The show's only begun!

Once inside the ring, Angel picks up a mic to address the crowd.

CHRIS ANGEL
Ladies and gentlemen, this is truly an exciting time for all of us. As most of you know, SNW is about to take a step in a radically new direction. We're about to light up your TV sets with insane showcases of brutality the likes of which you've never seen. Truth be told, we here at SNW are a little crazy and this bold new move will do us some good. Needless to say, we're going to be putting the nuts back into the Sports Nutz!

Angel chuckles as the fans laugh, then continues on with his speech.

CHRIS ANGEL
And who else, other than yours truly, to lead the charge into this exciting new future? Who else but the longest reigning Bad Blood champion who's not only kept the dogs at bay, but brought everything to a whole new level. And at Wrestlestock, I once again proved that I'm not all talk. My opponent may have given his all but at the end, despite his speeches and past accolades, nothing mattered. Nothing mattered when his reign ended and a new era began. As the new Texas Champion, I shall usher in this new era....the Age of Dreams is now upon us and all the boys on the roster, get ready to be taken to the next level. All of you here and those watching at home, this is merely the beginning. This is the time for all the new guys to shine. This is the chance for the veterans to take control of their destinies and this is the moment to unleash hell! And I promise, as your Champion, that I will as always defend and fight with honor and...

"Ecstasy of Gold" comes on over the speakers, and everyone inside The Clubhouse boos their lungs out as "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath makes his way down to the ring, mic in hand.

KOKO B. WARE
Thank god! I was wondering if Chris Angel would ever shut up!

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't be hating because he's done something you've never been able to do your entire career.

MARK BISHOP
Win a championship?

TAMMY WINTERS
How about win period!

KOKO B. WARE
Oh come on! No reason for both of you to throw me under the bus! I'm a Hall of Famer, you damn honkeys!

Gordie's music dies down as he enters the ring and is ready to address Chris Angel.

GORDIE
Recently, there was a press conference that was streamed online at SNW.com, and SNW co-owner Codi Shane rudely interrupted me throughout the entire press conference. There was a pressing issue at hand that I was not able to address at the press conference, so I'm addressing it here with you personally, Mr. Angel. You see, I had forgotten to tell you about this rule that has been on the books here in SNW...

MARK BISHOP
Oh great!

KOKO B. WARE
Let the man finish!

GORDIE
Mr. Angel, Article 34B under Championships clearly states that no wrestler can hold more than one singles title. A wrestler can hold a singles title and be co-holder of the Texas Tag Team Titles, but that is it. Seeing as that you have won the Texas Championship, will you have to relinquish that Bad Blood Title that means so much to you.

The fans are booing as loud as they can as Chris Angel shakes his head at Gordie, who's holding out his hand, demanding that Angel had the belt over to him. The fans inside The Clubhouse begin to cheer as they see Codi Shane making her way down to the ring.

TAMMY WINTERS
I think Gordie forgot that he has a co-owner that he has to run decisions through first.

KOKO B. WARE
She can't do anything! Gordie's already made his decision!

MARK BISHOP
We'll just see about that.

Codi Shane, mic in hand, enters the ring and is ready to address Gordie and Angel.

CODI SHANE
What we've got here is a failure to communicate. Gordie, you never informed me of your decision, and it's obvious that you completely ignored the compromise that I had proposed after Chris Angel won the Texas Championship. So this is what we're going to do. You see, on May the 22nd at the Empire Theatre in San Antonio, Texas, there is this annual event known as 4 Up. For those of you who have missed the previous two 4 Ups, here is how it works.

There are 16 wrestlers entered into this special one of a kind competition. The night begins with a 16 person battle royal, but the object isn't necessarily to win the battle royal. It's about forming a strategy to get yourself into the 4 way stipulation match that you want to be in, essentially. The first four wrestlers eliminated from the battle royal by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor will be entered into the Light Tube Deathmatch. The next four will go into the TLC Match. And here in SNW, TLC stands for Thumbtacks, Ladders and Chairs. The next four eliminated will go into the Barbed Wire Match. And finally, the last four remaining in the ring will commence with the Chain Match. Then the four winners of those 4 way stipulation matches will be entered into a special 4 way steel cage match known as the Cage of Death, where each participant will bring a weapon that represents the match they were in. And Chris Angel, this interests you because you will be able to remain Bad Blood Champion until the end of 4 Up, at which time you will be presenting the winner with the Bad Blood Championship.

The fans are cheering in approval at Codi Shane's announcement as Gordie throws his hands and arms up in the air.

GORDIE
That's not the agreement we made!

Codi smirks, then hauls off and kicks Gordie square in the family jewels. The fans cheer their heads off as Gordie crumbles down to the canvas, curling into the fetal position.

TAMMY WINTERS
Haha! Codi Shane just kicked Gordie in the Sports Nutz!

KOKO B. WARE
That's not funny!

MARK BISHOP
You wouldn't know funny if it pinned you to the canvas like all of your opponents, Koko.

KOKO B. WARE
That's not funny, either!

Angel laughs at Gordie's expense as Gordie holds onto his groin, grimacing in serious pain. Codi raises Angel's hand as the fans cheer them on, then the two exit the ring, with Angel sitting down on the ropes and holding them open for Codi as she makes her exit.

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[Hollywood]

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" blares over the sound system, and the crowd erupts in cheers as the Destruction Crew, led by The Gambler, makes their way out from the back. Super Vader throws up the Vader sign for his fans, as Mauler swings his chain to the adulation of the crowd. Killer Kong and Mike Hanson slap hands with the fans that are around ringside.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is an eight person tag match scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, the team of Aaron Champion, Ned Carter and Bottoms Up! Making their way to the ring their opponents, accompanied to the ring by the Gambler. Super Vader, Killer Kong, The Mauler, and Mike Hanson, the Destruction Crew!

The Gambler remains outside as the four Goliaths climb into the ring. Their four opponents look very scared as the Crew poses for the fans in their corner.

MARK BISHOP
An eight person match is on the slate here, and talk about four men that are large and in charge in more than one way lately. Not only did they destroy the Sports Authority and force them out of action, they assisted in the Alley Ratz victory over the Sports Nutz in the lumberjack match.

KOKO B. WARE
What an epic disgrace that was. I'm still disgusted by that.

TAMMY WINTERS
Just because your butt buddies didn't win doesn't mean you should just poopoo them. They made quite the grand return to SNW, and sadly Aaron Champion, Ned Carter, and Bottoms Up drew the short straw to face them.

KOKO B. WARE
Well they are in better shape than those four lard tubs, so they have a good chance.

MARK BISHOP
Did you see what they did to Sports Authority and the Sports Nutz?

KOKO B. WARE
That doesn't count.

TAMMY WINTERS
Why not?

KOKO B. WARE
Because I said so.

The Destruction Crew vs. Aaron Champion, Ned Carter, and Bottoms Up.

The bell rang, and this match wasn't even fair from the get go. Carter took the lead against Super Vader, and after Vader stepped in the ring Carter got scared and ran into the corner cowering. Vader shrugged, and ran full speed into Carter slamming Carter's head into the turnbuckle. Carter fell limp to the mat, as Vader followed up with a Vader Splash that just completely flattened Carter out like a balloon. Vader covered the motionless Carter, and his three partners attempted to come in and break up the cover but the other three Destruction Crew members made a move and the three other men jumped off the apron and ran to the back. Vader got the three count and the win.

Winners- The Destruction Crew

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, the Destruction Crew!

MARK BISHOP
Fairly academic there, as Super Vader doesn't even need to tag in someone else and gets the win for his team.

KOKO B. WARE
A real big group of men, picking on people much smaller than themselves.

TAMMY WINTERS
There isn't anyone else their size! We can't bring Andre the Giant back from the dead.

KOKO B. WARE
Then they should lose some damn weight. I'm sure George DeJohn would be more than happy to supply them with his 21 Day Body Makeover.

MARK BISHOP
Well, look whose spiffing for someone.

KOKO B. WARE
There, I mentioned your damn product DeJohn! Now where's my free crap?!

TAMMY WINTERS
OK, plugola payola not really what we want here at SNW. Let's throw it to Bob Sturm, who is standing by with Codi Shane!

Codi Shane is shown in the VIP Lounge of The Clubhouse enjoying Guys Night Out. Bob Sturm is standing by with a mic in hand, ready to interview Codi Shane.

BOB STURM
Miss Shane, uhhh... um, why would you, uhhh, have Chris, uh, Angel not defend his Bad Blood Title? I know, uhh, he isn’t the fighting champion like number four but, uhhh, that makes, um, no sense.

CODI SHANE
Well Bob, it’s real simple. The fact is Mr. Angel has decided that he wanted to concentrate on the Texas Heavyweight Title, and even though the Bad Blood Title should be defended, who better to win it then someone who goes through the grueling challenge that is 4 Up.

BOB STURM
Uh, I guess that makes, um, sense. On SNW.com, you held a press conference, although not one that can compare to Brett Favre’s decision he makes for the Minnesota Vikings. However something about change that, uh, will effect us like, like Favre not playing.

CODI SHANE
Yes, the executives at CW have issued that due to the ratings increase on some of our more adult related segments that we have been given the green light to step up the competition and cross the boundaries from time to time. Which means that SNW will not be afraid to cross the fine line that some companies refuse to do. I hope that answers your questions. I have some things to do, but I hope everyone enjoys the show.

With that, Codi goes to walk away and walks right into a superkick delivered by James Jackson. James stands over Codi as the people around the VIP Lounge and throughout the Clubhouse begin to boo like crazy. James quickly grabs the mic from Bob and glares down at Codi with a confused look.

JAMES JACKSON
How’s that for a change?

James drops the mic as Bob goes to walk away. Before Bob can do so, James superkicks him for good measure as well. James stands there still standing over Codi Shane as officials try to attend to her.

MARK BISHOP
That damn son of a bitch!

TAMMY WINTERS
That was deplorable!

KOKO B. WARE
Oh come on! The bitch got what she deserved!

MARK BISHOP
"Modern Day Hero" my ass!

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[Hollywood]

Back from commercial, and the camera shot opens inside the Clubhouse, showing everyone dancing around and having a great time as they get ready for the next segment of the show as "Entry of the Gladiators" plays over the PA system.

MARK BISHOP
We're back with more Guys Night Out, and right now, let's send it down to Zippy the Clown for Zippy's Mailbag.

Shot switches over to a stage area that's tapered off from the fans. Zippy hops onto the stage area, along with Jack Clinton, who's holding his Balance of Power briefcase.

ZIPPY THE CLOWN
Hello to all you kids who are up way past your bedtime here inside the Clubhouse. Now lately, I've been having trouble with my reading, so I will be enlisting the help of various SNW wrestlers on the SNW roster. Tonight, I've enlisted Mr. Balance of Power, Jack Clinton. Jack, start us off with LETTER NUMBER ONE!

JACK CLINTON
Alright, Zippy, here's a good one. "Dear Mr. Clinton. You stole my finisher. Sincerely, David Bautista, Washington DC." Yeah. Okay. *crumples, produces another* Here's a serious letter.
"Dear Zippy,
Does James Jackson bore you as much in the ring as he bores me? I want to have Jack Clinton's baby. Signed, JaCk cLiNtOn Fn69."

ZIPPY THE CLOWN
Well, Mr. or Mrs. "Fn69," in response to your first question, the reason Mr. Jackson comes across as boring is because he is quite a boring man. I had lunch with him just the other day, and he just wanted a salad plain and dry with no dressing. I mean, come on, you can't have a salad with no dressing! As for wanting to have children with Mr. Clinton, I don't know if he wants to have kids or not, but if he can't, then I'm more than happy to help you out!

JACK CLINTON
He's so boring he makes Lance Storm seem like The Rock by comparison. Where's Stone Cold with his pillow and blanket when you need him, right?

ZIPPY THE CLOWN
Alright, time for LETTER NUMBER TWO!!

JACK CLINTON
Okay, Zippy, here's a guy who's obviously had a little too much sugar.
"Dear Zippy, Don't you think Wrestlestock was the best show ever? I think it was the best show ever! Don't you think the Balance of Power match was the best match ever? I think it was the best match ever! Don't you think this letter is the best letter ever? I think it's the best letter ever! Signed, Joe D., the best letter writer ever." I think my brain is fried after that, what do you say?

ZIPPY THE CLOWN
Why do I get this feeling we're going to be hearing about Joe D on the 10 o'clock news jumping off a bridge above the highway? Anyway, time for LETTER NUMBER THREE!

JACK CLINTON
"Dear Zippy, what would you rather do- watch James Jackson wrestle on a somewhat regular basis or run around with rabid weasels in your clown pants?" Oh, decisions, decisions...

"Kashmir" booms over the PA, and the fans boo their lungs out as James Jackson, fresh off of superkicking Codi Shane and Bob Sturm, makes his way over to the stage area, grabbing Zippy's mic from him, turning his attention to Zippy.

JAMES JACKSON
Get your damn sports entertainment ass out of here!

Zippy rolls his eyes and leaves at Jackson's behest.

YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK! YOU SUCK DICK!

KOKO B. WARE
(sarcasm in his voice)What a well educated crowd we have here at The Clubhouse tonight!

TAMMY WINTERS
They should tell Jackson how they really feel about him.

MARK BISHOP
Well I'll tell you how I really feel! I feel he's a rotten piece of... piece of crap!

JAMES JACKSON
Mr. Jack Clinton, you holding that briefcase that you carry around with you is a bigger travesty than the Stars taking their team from the good people of Minnesota and bringing it down here to Texas for these stupid hillbillies to ruin the great sport. You see, in our only one-on-one match here in SNW, I beat you... one, two, three. I pinned your shoulders to the mat, and therefore, I should've just been given that briefcase. I shouldn't have had to lower myself to having to become a glorified stuntman in a damn scaffold match.

JACK CLINTON
You know, James, you may have somehow, someway beaten me, but I did something you couldn't do... grab the briefcase. So if you think you're so much better than me, even though the briefcase says you're not, why don't we put some money where that mouth is and have a match? Winner gets the contract. In fact, in about two weeks on April 23 at the Daniel Meyer Coliseum in Fort Worth, Texas, there is a TV Special right here on the CW, The Main Event. What do you say?

JAMES JACKSON
I gladly accept. And while I may be putting my money where my mouth is, you're the one that's just tried writing a check that your ass won't be able to cash.

Jackson has a few more choice words before walking off while Jack Clinton holds the briefcase up in the air.

JACK CLINTON
Mr. Jackson, I think you forgot something. You see, as long as I have this briefcase, I can cash it at ANY time. So I may just cash it in before our match on the 23rd. Just keep that in mind.

Jackson sneers in Clinton's direction, rubbed the wrong way by Clinton's big shit eating grin as he continues to hold up the briefcase.

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[Hollywood]

We see a replay of when James Jackson superkicked Codi Shane, then superkicked Bob Sturm earlier in the night.

MARK BISHOP
Earlier tonight, James Jackson superkicked both Codi Shane and Bob Sturm, and now we find out that he and Jack Clinton will go one-on-one on April 23 at the Daniel Meyer Coliseum in crazy Forth Worth on The Main Event, live here on the CW at 9 PM Eastern, 8 PM Central. Right now, let's take it to I.P. Freely, who's standing by with an update on Codi Shane and Bob Sturm.

Shot switches over to I.P. Freely, who's sitting up at the bar. It seems that he doesn't have his headset on as he has no idea that the show has cut over to him. Instead, he's ordering drinks for himself and some random blond girl dressed in the skimpiest of skimpy outfits.

MARK BISHOP
Well it appears that we're having technical issues.

TAMMY WINTERS
Yeah, it's called I.P. Freely trying to score some strange.

KOKO B. WARE
(laughing hysterically)Does that idiot actually think he has a shot at getting laid?! HAHAHAHAAAA!

"Sh*tlist" hits over the PA, and the crowd boos as S.T. Strickler, flanked by Benson, makes his way down to the ring, looking at the fans with such disdain. He laughs at one "Jersey Shore" looking idiot who's hair has frosted tips and is wearing jeans and a Tapout shirt, trying and failing to impress a brunette dressed in a very short black skirt and a black tube top by dancing like an idiot. Strickler looks into the camera and says "Just because someone gets rid of the overalls and gets a whole new set of teeth doesn't change the fact that they're still an idiot."

HARRY SACHS
The following is a non-title match set for one fall! Introducing first, from Winchester, Virginia and weighing 180 lbs... accompanied by Benson... "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler!

MARK BISHOP
Even though the Von Erich Memorial Title will not be on the line, there is no love lost between S.T. Strickler and the current Von Erich Memorial Champion, Wench.

TAMMY WINTERS
That's right, because it was last fall when S.T. Strickler kicked Wench in the skull before a national television audience on Saturday Night Onslaught. Not too long after that, after a grueling match here on Guys Night Out at the State Fair of Texas, Wench collapsed to the ground as a result of post-concussion syndrome.

KOKO B. WARE
I'll admit, I admire both competitors in this match. But Wench will need to have eyes in the back of her head, because look at who is accompanying Strickler to ringside.

MARK BISHOP
6' 7" and 282 lbs of pure nastiness known as Benson.

Strickler and Benson enter the ring, with Strickler pointing to himself and saying "Real f**kin' Deal!" as his music dies down. "Awake and Alive" hits, and Wench, wearing her Von Erich Memorial Title belt around her waist, ignores the boos and heckling of the fans inside The Clubhouse as she walks down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
And his opponent, from Lenoir, North Carolina and weighing 110 lbs... she is the reigning Von Erich Memorial Champion... Wench!

TAMMY WINTERS
To be honest, I don't really care who wins this match. I hope they both kill each other!

KOKO B. WARE
That's rather harsh, Tammy.

MARK BISHOP
Well I for one can't blame her. I can't stand either one of these two egomaniacs!

Wench slides into the ring, glares over at Strickler, then takes her championship belt off, holding it up in the air and showing it off to the fans who continue to heckle her. She hands the belt over to the timekeeper as she and Strickler circle around in the ring, ready for the match to start.

Non-Title Match
S.T. Strickler vs Wench

A very fast-paced match between Wench and Strickler, with a very good amount of aggression mixed in as neither wrestler forgot about their old rivalry last fall. Both wrestlers had a counter for everything they did, such as Wench hitting Strickler with several open hand slaps to the chest, only for Strickler to knock her down with a backhand smack. Strickler would go for a Tornado DDT, only for Wench to block the attempt as Strickler landed on his feet, and Wench picking him up and over, slamming him down with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Back and forth they went, not giving one inch as they exchanged numerous near falls after numerous moves out of their arsenal. Strickler thought he had the match in the bag after a Flatliner, but only got a count of two and three quarters, angering him as he argued with the referee. Turned out to be a mistake for Strickler to argue with the ref as he turned around and received a kick to the midsection and was brought down with a DDT by Wench. Wench then went for a cover, only for Benson to hop onto the apron and distract the ref. Wench pounded the mat as if to make her own count. She sat up, shouting at the ref to turn around, but he seemed a bit too distracted by Benson. The crowd was abuzz as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, dressed in jeans and a white collared shirt with blue designs on it, ran down to ringside, grabbed the Von Erich Memorial Title belt, slid into the ring, and clocked Wench in the back of the head with the belt, knocking her out flat on her face as she plunged into unconsciousness. Kid Thunder ran out of the ring, pointing at Wench and shouting "That belt will be mine!" Strickler slowly sat up, shaking the cobwebs from his head as he saw Wench down and out on her face. Benson let go of the ref, allowing him to turn around to see Strickler turn Wench over and go for the pin. ONE... TWO... THREE!

Winner- S.T. Strickler

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler!

MARK BISHOP
S.T. Strickler needs to personally thank his buddy, Benson, and "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels for helping him win that match.

KOKO B. WARE
I thought you wouldn't care because you don't like Wench.

MARK BISHOP
I don't, but I don't like S.T. Strickler, and I damn sure don't like "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

TAMMY WINTERS
What a catch 22 for these fans! They hate both S.T. Strickler and Wench... Wench is about to win the match, but here comes Kid Thunder, who these fans hate just as much... he costs Wench the match, but again these fans hate Wench... but Strickler wins, and the fans hate him too!

MARK BISHOP
With that, let's take it back over to I.P. Freely, who hopefully has his technical difficulties sorted out.

Shot switches over to I.P. Freely, who still isn't paying attention to the show as he's trying to talk to yet another scantily clad female as the previous one obviously turned him down. He seems to have had a couple of drinks already and is a bit tipsy, creeping the female out as he slowly unbuttons his shirt, trying to show off his chest, but doesn't seem to realize that she's not a big fan of chest hair.

MARK BISHOP
Well it appears that we're still having some technical difficulties, so when we return, it'll be Versus Vince and Chris P. taking on Alexander Draven and Tyler Guevara.

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[Hollywood]

We see highlights of Kid Thunder hitting Wench in the back of the head with her Von Erich Memorial Title belt to help S.T. Strickler to pick up a tainted victory.

MARK BISHOP
Earlier, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels cost the Von Erich Memorial Champion, Wench, a non-title match against "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler. And during the break, Luna Vachon caught up with Kid Thunder as he was exiting The Clubhouse.

RECORDED DURING THE BREAK

Luna Vachon is running outside of The Clubhouse, trying to get a word with Kid Thunder as he's getting into his car.

LUNA VACHON
Kid Thunder, why did you attack Wench during her match?!

KID THUNDER
It's simple! I wrestled the absolute perfect match at WrestleStock II, and I made one mistake... just one mistake! I know I can beat Wench and take that Von Erich Memorial strap. I just need one more match. Now outta my way, bitch!

Kid Thunder throws Luna down to the ground, then slams the door of his rental car, turns the engine on, and drives off as the show goes back to live action. "Requiem" is playing over the PA as Alexander Draven has entered the ring.

HARRY SACHS
The following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, from Lowestoft, England and weighing in at 260 lbs, Alexander Draven!

MARK BISHOP
We're back with more Guys Night Out, and we're ready for a tag team match with more than one score to be settled here.

KOKO B. WARE
Well it's no secret that Tyler Guevara and Versus Vince hate each other. And Chris P. and Alexander Draven feel like they haven't had enough of each other.

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't even know if tonight will be enough to end these rivalries. In fact, they may get even more intense.

"American Lab Rat" blasts over the PA, and the boo birds are out in full force as black and white lighting bathes The Clubhouse. Tyler Guevara sneers at the crowd as he makes his way down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
His partner, from Jacksonville, Florida and weighing 300 lbs, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

MARK BISHOP
No doubt Tyler Guevara is disgusted with what he sees here at The Clubhouse.

KOKO B. WARE
Hey, he better leave the fly honies in here alone. I plan on getting some phone numbers after the show!

TAMMY WINTERS
How are you going to explain the dead parrot that's rotting inside your house when you take them home?

KOKO B. WARE
FRANKIE'S..... NOT..... DEAD!!!

Guevara enters the ring as he continues to sneer at the crowd while his music dies down. "You Can't Run" blasts over the PA, and the fans go wild as Versus Vince makes his way down to the ring, his right hand up in the air.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, first from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico and weighing in at 195 lbs, Versus Vince!

MARK BISHOP
One of the fastest rising stars in SNW, and it's amazing that he's still alive after the Balance of Power Scaffold Match at WrestleStock II, much less walking around and competing tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
And you know how stupid that was for him to dive off that scaffold?! Well, he doesn't have the briefcase, that's how stupid he is!

TAMMY WINTERS
That may be, but with 4 Up around the corner, I'm sure Versus Vince is looking to throw his name into the hat.

Versus Vince slides into the ring as his music dies down. "This Means War" booms over the PA, and the crowd comes alive as Chris P. walks down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans along the way.

HARRY SACHS
His partner, from Clifton, New Jersey and weighing 260 lbs, Chris P.!

KOKO B. WARE
Nice to know how Harry likes his fries.

MARK BISHOP
No, he's announcing Versus Vince's partner, Chris P.

KOKO B. WARE
Versus Vince is teaming with a side of crispy fries?!

TAMMY WINTERS
You idiot!

Chris P. enters the ring, high-fives Versus Vince, only for them to get jumped by Tyler Guevara and Alexander Draven before the bell sounds.

Alexander Draven and Tyler Guevara vs Chris P. and Versus Vince

Guevara and Draven tried to get a head start by ambushing Vince and Chris P., but that didn't work out too well for them as Vince and Chris fought back, with Chris knocking Draven out of the ring with a standing dropkick, and Vince sending Guevara staggering through the ropes and falling to the floor after a step up enziguri kick to the back of the head, eliciting a loud pop from the fans inside The Clubhouse. Chris P. and Versus Vince pumped fists as Guevara made his way back into the ring. Guevara gave a great accounting of himself, swinging the match back into his team's favor after a big headbutt to the head of Chris P. Guevara worked Chris P. over for several minutes, then made the tag to Draven. However, Chris P. was ready for Draven as he waylaid on him with several right hand punches, kicked him in the gut, then brought him down headfirst with a piledriver. Chris P. and Versus Vince were able to make frequent tags as they both worked over Draven. Vince seemed to have the match won after flying off the top turnbuckle and landing the Halo on Draven, but Guevara broke up the count, allowing Draven to make the tag to Guevara as Vince tagged in Chris P. Guevara fought off Chris P., bringing him down with a big boot. Guevara seemed to have things going his team's way when Draven asked for a tag, so Guevara reluctantly obliged. Draven, who couldn't get in any offense the whole match, yelled smack talk to Chris P., picking him up and yelling more trash talk into his face, only for Chris P. to lock him up in the Fade To Black out of nowhere to a big pop from the crowd. Guevara tried to run in to break it up, but Versus Vince ran in and nailed him with a flipping dropkick(dropsault), sending Guevara down and rolling to the outside as Draven tapped out.

Winners- Chris P. and Versus Vince

HARRY SACHS
Your winners of the match via submission, the team of Chris P. and Versus Vince!

MARK BISHOP
Alexander Draven's wheels were totally off tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
He seriously needs someone to guide his career, because he's been off for quite some time now.

TAMMY WINTERS
I know he's only 18, but that Versus Vince is pretty cute. And hey, 18's legal!

KOKO B. WARE
Oh why don't you just go out on some street corner, you crackwhore!

TAMMY WINTERS
How about I plant my high heel boots up your black ass!

MARK BISHOP
While I try to separate Koko and Tammy, let's try once more to send it over to I.P. Freely and see if he copies us.

I.P. Freely is still at the bar, this time begging any girl to give him their digits, but they all laugh and walk away. One girl even slaps him in the face. He hangs his head in disgust as a woman of size, wearing a skimpy outfit she has no business wearing, approaches him and seems to take a liking to him. He raises his hand, asking for several drinks as he flashes a fake smile toward the fat heffer.

FROM MAFFEW, IT'S THE WORST OF SNW WRESTLING HANGOVER, EXCLUSIVELY ON MAFFEW'S YOUTUBE CHANNEL AND BOTCHAMANIA.NET!

[Hollywood]

"Chicken Huntin" plays over the PA and the fans go wild as the Alley Ratz walk out from the back, followed by their trademark white smoke cloud trailing behind them.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a tag team match scheduled for one fall, and the winners will become the #1 contenders to the SNW Texas Tag Team Championship! Out first, Twitch and Eddy, the Alley Ratz!

Twitch and Eddy slap hands with the fans at rail side, as they climb into the ring. As they are posing on the turnbuckles, we see Soul Reaper and Cyanide, accompanied by several gorgeous ladies, sitting in a VIP area watching the happenings with an obvious interest.

MARK BISHOP
Well as the Alley Ratz get set for a #1 contenders match here, all eyes are on both them and their opponents Y Kores here tonight including the eyeballs of the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions Death Sentence.

KOKO B. WARE
Look at them, they are acting like Tiger Woods and Charlie Sheen with all those women. They should be acting more respectable.

MARK BISHOP
They are the champs Koko, let them have their fun.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm surprised this whore isn't with them.

TAMMY WINTERS
HEY!

MARK BISHOP
Oh dear, here we go again.

"You Better Pray" blares over the speakers, and the fans continue to cheer as Y Kores bounce out from the backstage area accompanied by Xander Nova.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova. "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu, "The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester, "The Assassin" Rory Kotch, Y Kores!

The quartet associates and mingles with their adoring fans at ringside as Reaper and Cyanide look on from their location. All four stand outside the ring on their side as to hide their two participants until the last minute.

MARK BISHOP
The winner of this match goes on to face Death Sentence for the titles at 4 Up. An X factor that could work against the Alley Ratz in this match is that they have no real idea what combination of Y Kores they are facing.

KOKO B. WARE
Not that it really matters, those sluts couldn't win anything if they wanted too.

MARK BISHOP
Sir! That is the most callous response!

KOKO B. WARE
It's true dammit. They could have all three chicks, that skinny little bastard of a manager, and this gutter whore sitting next to me and still couldn't beat any real man or men.

TAMMY WINTERS
Please, I could whip your ass quicker than you have sex and from what I've heard I'd really be accomplishing something there.

MARK BISHOP
Ouch.

#1 Contenders Match for the SNW Texas Tag Team Championship
The Alley Ratz vs. Y Kores

Twitch climbed into the ring to start the match, and we saw Adriana Samu climb into the ring and Rory Kotch get up on the apron. Samu and Twitch both traded strikes, before Twitch took control by hitting a swift DDT and a quick cover. For the next couple of minutes, Twitch held onto the match momentum using various wear down moves including a fairly vicious standing dropkick and another near fall. Twitch tagged out to Eddy, who was able to continue the match in the favor of the Ratz. However, a quick trip by Petrina Rotchester as Eddy bounced off the ropes for a cross body gave Samu enough time to nail a quick clothesline. Samu was able to hop over to her corner and slap a tag to Kotch, who came into the ring and started to handle Eddy. He was able to inflict some damage, but Kotch always was able to rebound by using her power to subdue him. A power bomb that looked to have almost snapped Eddy's neck, but only garnered a two count almost ended the match and gave Y Kores the match. Kotch went back and set up for the Iron Curtain, but once Eddy got on his feet he dived out of the way and Kotch ended up sprinting into the Ratz corner. Twitch took advantage, grabbed Kotch's head, and slammed it against the outside ring post. Kotch staggered around, and Twitch landed a headbutt that sent Kotch right across the ring again. Eddy had recovered, and throttled her with a spinning heel kick that finally put her on the mat. Eddy, who sensed the end was near, ascended the top rope and looked prepared for a moonsault. However, Samu distracted the referee by trying to enter the ring illegally. This allowed Rotchester and Nova to knock Eddy off the turnbuckle, and send him to the floor. Seeing this unfairness, Reaper and Cyanide bolted from their VIP area and went to ringside. As Nova and Rotchester tried to put the boots to Eddy, Reaper and Cyanide beat them to the punch and started laying the wood to them. The four started brawling towards the back to the cheers of the fans as the match is now even. Kotch went outside and threw Eddy back in the ring, and went to attack him once again but Eddy quickly grabbed her and cradled her into a pin ONE...TWO....THREE! The bell rang as the fans cheered and Samu groaned and stomped her foot as Twitch ran in the ring and got Eddy on his feet as the referee raised their hands.

Winners- The Alley Ratz

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, and the new #1 contenders for the SNW Texas Tag Team Championship, The Alley Ratz!

MARK BISHOP
A back and forth brawl, and even the champs got involved but in the end Eddy somehow got a quick three count and won himself and Twitch a tag title match.

KOKO B. WARE
Great, so we will have two emo kids against two stoners and one of those teams will end up the tag team champions. Awesome, can't wait.

MARK BISHOP
These are two of our best teams in the entire company, both are former champions. What could you possibly have against them?

TAMMY WINTERS
It's probably because they are white, and he isn't.

KOKO B. WARE
Least they aren't sexually promiscuous, unlike you you little cracker whore.

MARK BISHOP
Well that's all the time we have today, tune in next week for Onslaught! Huge quickly! Bye!

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