Guy's Night Out 5/1/2010

[sh17]

In a pre-show dark match, Chief Wahoo McNugget defeated Sean Hall after McNugget rolled up Hall for a three count.

We see a video montage of night life in Dallas/Fort Worth set to the tune of "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-O-Rama."



Shot opens inside the Reconsider Lounge, and what a diverse scene is within. Fans are screaming around the centralized ring set up, holding signs such as "FREE MIKE BASCIK, "THE RIVERWALK ISN'T THE ONLY DIRTY EYESORE IN SAN ANTONIO", and "HOWS YOUR ASS?" The scene goes to the three commentators, who instead of at a table are sitting at the Reconsider Lounge's bar holding stick microphones in front of plasma TVs modified to be monitors for tonight.

LIVE FROM THE RECONSIDER LOUNGE! DALLAS, TX!

MARK BISHOP
Hello everyone and welcome to this week's edition of Guy's Night Out, from the infamous Reconsider Lounge! We have a huge show for you tonight, and as you can see by our setup we are going to be indulging in some burrah to celebrate this great card.

KOKO B. WARE
Yes, unlike a certain camp out by a local successful radio station, we are not sponsored by one alcohol company so we can have whatever we want!

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh great, drunk Koko tonight. Everyone mute your TVs, I know my beautiful voice you will miss but you won't regret this choice.

KOKO B. WARE
Please, you haven't gotten CLOSE to seeing the big man drunk yet.

MARK BISHOP
Well let's just ignore that until we absolutely have too. Like I said earlier, we have a jam packed card for you. Our main event is a doozy, as the Enforcers of Pain are taking on the newly formed team of Syco Boy and Levetation in a tag team grudge match!

KOKO B. WARE
Also, Matt Margera has enlisted the services of Tyler Guevara and Andy Lionheart to form the Perfect World here in SNW. The new leader has his work cut out for him tonight, as the Versus Violation members the Switch Stallions want some revenge for Margera's actions and they will get the chance in a handicapped match.

TAMMY WINTERS
Speaking of the perfect world, the aformentioned pair of members are going to team with James Jackson, as they get a crack at the trio of Chris P., Jack Clinton, and SNW's Texas and Bad Blood Champion Chris Angel!

MARK BISHOP
We will also see Twitch take on Cyanide, and more tag team action. But starting off this week, we will see the debut of a brand new SNW superstar!

The referee runs out for the first match, and quickly out behind him is Captain Anus. The fans boo him as he has a Southlake Carrol football t-shirt on in addition to his tights. As they both get to the ring, "Club-Foot" begins to play over the sound system as red and white lights flash around the ring area. Jakob Cross walks out from the back, as the crowd greets him with a mixed reaction. With his arms over his head in the shape of a cross, he saunters to the ring with a determined look on his face.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your opening contest and it is scheduled for one fall! Already in the ring from Southlake, Texas. Weighing in at 212 lbs., Captain Anus! Making his way to the ring his opponent from London, England. Weighing in at 225 lbs., Jakob "The Templar" Cross!

Cross steps up to the apron, tossing off his jacket to the ringside area in the process. He steps through the ropes and stands there, clearly intimidating Anus.

MARK BISHOP
A brand new talent from across the pond, Jakob Cross has the past pedigree to potentially be a force to be reckoned with.

KOKO B. WARE
Just as long as he doesn't drink his beer warm, we are totally OK. Speaking of, bar keep beer me!

TAMMY WINTERS
Here we go, it's started already.

KOKO B. WARE
Oh please, you know what you are, you're a whore!

TAMMY WINTERS
Have you been drinking before you even got here?

KOKO B. WARE
It's funny you mention that Tammy, because I have a flask in my car if you guys would like to join me for an after hours drink.

MARK BISHOP
I'd try to get some real wrestling talk in here, but it's pointless. Do you all see what I'm up against here?

Jakob "The Templar" Cross vs. Captain Anus

Cross wasted no time, walking directly across the ring to his opponent. Anus backed up, until he was crouching in the corner. Cross stared down at him for a moment, and then turned his back and walked off as Anus got up and walked out from the corner. In a flash, Cross whipped around and nailed Anus with the Empire Strikes Back super kick that sent Anus directly to the floor. Not satisfied, Cross locked in his Will of Fire Kimura and quickly had his measly opponent tapping out furiously on the mat for fear of his arm getting snapped in two.

Winner: Jakob Cross

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Jakob "The Templar" Cross!

MARK BISHOP
Well Jakob Cross certainly sent a message to the rest of the roster, that he is for real. He almost broke Captain's arm after nearly severing his head.

KOKO B. WARE
The anus is clearly on Captain, however, to keep his head and his arm in tact.

TAMMY WINTERS
The anus Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
That's his name ain't it, whore?

TAMMY WINTER
Don't call me a whore you fat fu...

MARK BISHOP
We might need a drink limit at ringside. We'll be back after the break folks.

HAVEN'T GOT TICKETS FOR 4 UP? NO PROBLEM! YOU CAN WATCH 4 UP LIVE ON YOUR COUCH, AS IT COMES TO YOU LIVE FROM THE EMPIRE THEATRE IN SAN ANTONIO, TEXAS ON MAY 22ND! CALL YOUR PAY PER VIEW PROVIDER FOR MORE INFO. DON'T DELAY, BUY TODAY![/b][/center]

[sh17]

MARK BISHOP
Folks during the break we learned that a wrestler had been injured in the backstage area. We are just now able to get a camera back there, so let's take you backstage to update you on this situation.

The scene cuts back to one of the larger locker rooms areas. A couple of trainers are treating Sean Hall, who is laid out on the floor out cold face first into the carpet. There are welts all up and down his back, and a trickle of blood coming from the back of his head. On his back, along with the welts, someone has written in black Magic Marker "UNWORTHY" in all caps spanning the length of his back. Gordon Heath is seen talking to a couple of the wrestlers standing around, frantically trying to find out who did this as the trainers work on Hall. Laying next to Hall is a Singapore cane that is frayed at the end, indicating obvious recent use.

MARK BISHOP
Sean Hall evidently has been assaulted backstage by someone, and they looked like they meant business. The writing on his back, the well worn cane laying next to him.

KOKO B. WARE
Whoever assaulted him, he's a flawed guy.

TAMMY WINTERS
A bad night for Hall, but now we have to wonder who is it?

MARK BISHOP
Well certainly fans if we get any information on this assault we will bring it to you as quickly as we can. In the time we were away however, the Alternative Lifestylers have made their way to the ring as we get read for tag team action.

Skip and Scotty D are in the ring, and from the looks of the fans are doing something that looks more fitted for an Orlando Jordan appearance than an SNW show. "I Love Myself Today" plays over the PA, and the fans cheer as Adriana Samu bounces out from the back, accompanied by Xander Nova. Scampering down the aisles, she slaps hands with fans as someone waves a "MARRY ME ADRIANA" sign at her which she laughs playfully at.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring, Skip and Scotty D, the Alternative Lifestylers! Their opponents, making her way to the ring first from Alberta, Canada and accompanied to the ring by Xander Nova. Weighing in at 130 lbs., "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu!

Samu climbs through the ropes, and poses on the turnbuckles to the adulation of the fans as she points at them with a smile on her face as Nova stands on the outside of the ring.

MARK BISHOP
This next tag match is quite frankly an odd one if I do say so myself. Adriana Samu of Y Kores is teaming with Mike Hanson of the Destruction Crew to take on this pairing here.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm not sure what's queerer, Samu and Hanson as a tag team or the tag team they are facing against the ring tonight!

TAMMY WINTERS
That's not very tolerant Koko.

KOKO B. WARE
The only tolerance I give a damn about right now is my tolerance for alcohol. BARTENDER, GIVE ME A DAMN CROWN AND COKE!

MARK BISHOP
This night is not going to end well.

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" scratches over the sound system, and the fans continue to cheer on as Mike Hanson and the Gambler walk out together. Wearing his trademark ranch style attire, he rambles down the aisle to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Her partner accompanied by the Gambler. From Laredo, Texas weighing in at 285 lbs., Mike "Beastman" Hanson!

Hanson steps through the ropes as the Gambler walks over to Nova and stands next to him. The two exchange cursory glances, but show no real interest in getting to know each other.

MARK BISHOP
A regular odd couple here, you've got a rough and tough Texan coupled with a spunky Canadian lady this week.

KOKO B. WARE
Well you know they might win this week, they are facing a couple of British cigarettes in the ring this week.

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't you think you are being awfully rude here Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
Listen, whore, how's your ass?

MARK BISHOP
We are NOT going down that road today.

The Alternative Lifestyles vs. Mike Hanson w/ The Gambler and "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu w/Xander Nova

Skip started the match, and so did Mike Hanson. However, instead of hitting Skip Hanson quickly charged and landed a big boot that sent Scotty D off the apron and onto one of the tables behind the rail, ruining the drinks of a group of drunken SMU frat boys. Insulted, all four picked up Scotty D by a limb and started marching out of the club to the cheers of the other intoxicated people. Skip turned frightfully to Hanson, who did not hesitate to hit a LoneStar Lariot turning Skip inside out in the air and landing forcefully on the mat. Dusting off his hands, the Gambler points toward the back. Hanson nods at his manager, and then tags Adriana Samu as he climbs out of the ring and walks to the back. Samu looks at her now departing partner, shrugs, and climbs into the ring. Taking advantage of her downed opponent, she looks him in the SHARPSHOOTAH! and quickly gets a tap out from Skip to end the match.

[/i]

Winners: Mike "Beastman" Hanson and "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, Mike "Beastman" Hanson and "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu!

MARK BISHOP
If you blinked you missed this one folks, as Mike Hanson came in and dominated both men. Then, at the urging of his manager The Gambler he left leaving Samu to get the easy submission victory by herself.

KOKO B. WARE
That doesn't prove anything, she she she she doesn't have...ass.

TAMMY WINTERS
You can't last that much longer Koko, not that it really bothers me.

KOKO B. WARE
YOU! Dieeieiei,die die!

MARK BISHOP
Oh dear, something tells me Koko will Tom Gribble this by the end of the night. Coming up next we will hear from Myke Rhines in the ring.

THIS PORTION OF SNW PROGRAMMING BROUGHT TO YOU BY RON WASHINGTON! RON WASHINGTON: THE ONLY THING WHITER THAN THE SNOW HE RAINED DOWN ON THE RANGERS FRONT OFFICE IS THE COKE THAT HE TESTED POSITIVE FOR LAST YEAR![/center]

[sh17]

We come out of break in the ring with Luna Vachon standing with a microphone. All of a sudden the Miami Vice theme song by Von Hammer players over the speakers, and everyone looks at the aisle waiting for Myke Rhines to walk down it. After a minute, everyone starts to look around the club for him. A stir happens at the end of the bar, and everyone looks over to see Rhines quickly stand up with a Crown and Coke in hand stumbling to get to the ring. He rushes through the crowd with his drink held above his head. He hands the drink to someone as he gets to the rail, and jumps over it doing a face plant in the process. Standing up quickly straightening out his Steve Busby Kansas City Royals jersey, and re-affixing his Tevas to his feet he takes his drink from the fan and gets into the ring next to Vachon.

LUNA VACHON
Well allright, after that brief hiatus we are now joined by my original guest Myke Rhines. Rhines, last week you announced that you will become a candidate for the newly created President of SNW office. The question on everyone's mind, why?

MYKE RHINES
Well, Luna, I think it is essential to the production and continuation of this establishment or somesuch that the leadership not be like that of the evil Tom Hicks that continues to kill the team that calls the Temple hard by Arlington home. I would provide decisive leadership, a strong view of the world as we know it today like I see it from the tower of the friendly Mercantile. I was able to start the Ticket, and guide it to the prominence that it currently occupies. There is no plausible idea that claims I can not do the same with this.

LUNA VACHON
Well I didn't really understand what you just said, but I'll continue on like I did. Why you Myke, why should it be you instead of someone else with more management experience?

MYKE RHINES
Well let me ask you a question here sweetheart. Do you really want people like the drunken buffons, the Corbys, the John in Planos, the Matt the P1 Virgins of the world to run this thing?

LUNA VACHON
OK nobody knows who those people are...

MYKE RHINES
SHUT UP BITCH! I'm not finished yet. The cocaine and boob job crowd can't be trusted to hold down the fort in the absence of true leadership. I will become the leader of this establishment, and there's not a damn person out there as it were who has the balls to take it from me or somesuch.

"You've Got the Touch" by Stan Bush hits over the PA system, and everyone is turning their heads, trying to figure out who's interrupting Rhines' interview.

MARK BISHOP
Wait a minute, that music sounds very familiar! In fact, I heard it several times when I stayed after the SNW show at the Ridglea Theatre to watch the VCCW Quest For The Crown... OH NO! DAMMIT! I KNEW IT!

Luna Vachon and Myke Rhines see none other than Texas indy wrestlers, "The Essence of Excellence" Robert Evans(dressed in a mustard colored suit) and Franco D'Angelo(dressed in jeans and a white Jack Officers T-shirt) walking down to the ring to a mixed reaction, though it seems to be mostly boos from the local wrestling fans familiar with the fine work of Robert Evans and Franco D'Angelo.

KOKO B. WARE
Franco D'Angelo and the 2010 VCCW Quest For The Crown Champion, Robert Evans! Hells yeahs, bitches!

TAMMY WINTERS
Somebody cut Koko off already!

Robert Evans walks up the ring steps onto the ring apron, dances along the apron while waving up at the sky, then stops dancing and turns to face the audience. He raises his arms in the air, pointing up at the sky as Franco tries to get the crowd to get behind Robert, but with little results. Robert enters the ring, spinning around and thrusting his arms, hyping himself up as he pounds his chest. Franco enters the ring as Luna tries to get a word with Robert.

LUNA VACHON
Alright, just what in the world are you two doing here?!

FRANCO D'ANGELO
Out of our way, bitch!

Franco grabs Luna by the head and throws her through the ropes, sending her down to the floor as she moans in pain. SNW officials rush down to help her to the back as Franco picks up the mic that Luna was holding and hands it to Robert Evans.

ROBERT EVANS
Now that we got half of the trash out of the ring, allow us to introduce ourselves. I am "The Essence of Excellence" Robert Evans, and with me is Franco D'Angelo. Just what are we doing here on SNW Guys Night Out, you ask? Well, as you all know by now, after George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller resigned from their positions of power, it left no middleman to help out "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath and Codi Shane, the co-owners of Sports Nutz Wrestling. So Gordon Heath and Codi Shane agreed that there should be a president in SNW. Now last week, this dirty old man decided to run for President of SNW. However, as a great Canadian that has LEGALLY immigrated down here to Texas, I cannot allow this creep to jeopardize the youth of America by running this once great wrestling promotion that is heading into disaster now that it has no rules. In fact, my first order of business as President of SNW would be to strip Chris Angel or Jack Clinton, whoever is the Texas Champion by the time I'm president, of the Texas Heavyweight Championship and hand it over to a man more worthy of that title, "The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

BOOOOOOOOO!!!

MARK BISHOP
Oh he can't be serious!

KOKO B. WARE
James Jackson for Texas Champion?! Robert has my vote!

TAMMY WINTERS
I hope to God he doesn't win the SNW Presidential election!

ROBERT EVANS
And of course, no great president can do without a running mate. So my vice president would be none other than Franco D'Angelo. Now, my next order of business...

Rhines grabs the mic out of Robert's hands, and the fans actually cheer Rhines. Not so much cheering for him, but cheering that someone has shut Robert Evans up.

MYKE RHINES
Now listen you two pricks, I don't know who in the name of John Wetteland you are but you have interrupted the wrong person here bucko. Let me ask you two a question, do you know who Rocco Pendola is?

ROBERT EVANS
Who the Hell is Rocco Pendola?

MYKE RHINES
Exactly you meathead! I buried him, I buried the Hammer, and I can sure as Hell dump your body in a creek bed whenever I chose. As far as your agenda, well I don't really think anyone is too interested in that...

Right as that is said D'Angelo slaps the microphone out of Rhine's hand. He then picks him up and hoists his frail frame over his head. Rhines is more concerned about spilling his half full Crown and Coke than he is being in the air. D'Angelo throws him over the ropes, to the adulation of the crowd.

MARK BISHOP
Well it looks like Rhines has a new challenger for this office. Lord only knows now what will happen with this string of events.

KOKO B. WARE
They are trying to split my vote. I'm just going to drink more.

TAMMY WINTERS
Drink away your sorrows you fat pud.

KOKO B. WARE
Don't talk to me about drinking and puds you little slut.

MARK BISHOP
Good god, there'll be a match next I promise.

WOODFORD RESERVE BORBON, FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO ASK THE QUESTION "WHOSE YOUR FAVORITE CORBY?"

[sh17]

"Chicken Huntin'" blares over the sound system, and the fans cheer as Twitch comes out from the back being trailed as always by a puff of white smoke. Going down the aisle, he stops and grabs a quick puff of a cigarette from someone at ringside. He then asks the person what the cameras believed to be if "I can have some clean piss."

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Weighing in at 195 lbs., Twitch!

Twitch climbs through the ropes a little sloppily but gets into the ring. He poses on the turnbuckles, coughing slightly.

MARK BISHOP
As we make our way closer and closer to 4 Up, we are seeing another preview of the show as the other two halves of the teams that competed last week face off tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
Listen, Followill.

MARK BISHOP
I'm Mark Bishop, not Mark Followill.

KOKO B. WARE
Whatever asshole, the Mavericks still suck.

TAMMY WINTERS
What does that have to do with anything?

KOKO B. WARE
You know what's funny, you're retarded.

TAMMY WINTERS
Well that's an ironic statement.

KOKO B. WARE
You're an ironic statement.

"Cyanide" booms over the PA, and the crowd continues to cheer loudly as the green lights flash to indicate Cyanide's entrance. He walks out wearing his Texas Tag Title belt on his shoulder. Like his cousin Reaper, he ignores the crowds rabid fandom as he makes his way to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent from San Jose, California. Weighing in at 225 lbs., he is one half of the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions, Cyanide!

Cyanide climbs through the ropes, and stares arms crossed at his opponent across the ring. Twitch coughs again softly.

MARK BISHOP
Cyanide looks very focused here tonight, as he prepares to send his team to a second straight individual victory here tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
What, that didn't make any sense.

TAMMY WINTERS
Yes it did lardass, you're just too drunk to comprehend it.

KOKO B. WARE
You, you shhhhhhhh.

MARK BISHOP
Oh that is never a good idea.

Twitch vs. Cyanide

This match up became a competition between a high flying risk offense and a wear down Japanese style of fighting. Twitch was able to spend the first couple of minutes in the match dodging a grapple from Cyanide, and landing mild kicks to the legs and abdomen. Eventually Cyanide caught up to him, and for the next few minutes he turned Twitch into a human grappling dummy. Suplexes galore, including a vicious Northern Lights Suplex that almost ended the match but Twitch was able to break the pin up. The momentum came a couple of minutes later when Cyanide attempted an STO and then was on the receiving end of an arm drag. For the next long section of the match, Twitch amped up the speed and pace of the match. Drilling Cyanide with kicks, and bouncing off the ropes constantly he kept Cyanide moving and off-balance. A beautiful Huracanrana was then parlayed into a Faygo Splash, but Cyanide was able to get his bottom foot on the rope and break up the pin. Frustarted, Twitch went outside and grabbed a steel chair looking to equalize the match in a brutal way. However Cyanide caught him with a kick to the gut, forcing the chair to the mat. Sensing an opening, Cyanide grabbed Twitch's arms and quickly hit him with the Last Breath directly onto the steel chair. Twitch was prone as Cyanide hooked his leg ONE...TWO...THREE!

Winner: Cyanide

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Cyanide.

MARK BISHOP
Twitch almost had the match won, and he thought he could get it guaranteed with a steel chair shot. Cyanide turned the tables on him, and landed the Last Breath on the harsh steel to get the pinfall.

KOKO B. WARE
Have you ever seen, have you ever seen a steel chair?

MARK BISHOP
Well, I just did it was in the ring.

KOKO B. WARE
I think you're wrong.

MARK BISHOP
Well I don't care what you think.

TAMMY WINTERS
He's loaded Mark, don't listen to him.

MARK BISHOP
I wasn't already. Now, let's send it to Brenda Price who has all new information concerning 4 Up![/b]

The shot statics out, then statics into a camera shot to an obviously pre-taped promo of Brenda Price standing in front of the SNW banner in a random room at the Gordietorium.

BRENDA PRICE
Brenda Price here with all the latest news and info concerning 4 Up, which takes place in three weeks, May 22, from the Empire Theatre in San Antonio, Texas. The only way to see it is on PPV at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST. First off, a new match added to 4 Up! The first ever Destruction Crew All You Can Destroy Buffet Invitational. In this match, there will be tables of various foods and weapons, a buffet if you will, that the wrestlers in this match can use on each other. Elimination occurs by either pinfall or submission, and the last wrestler standing will win the match and will receive a shot at the Bad Blood Championship at a later date. The participants in the first ever Destruction Crew All You Can Destroy Buffet Invitational include:

Super Vader...
Killer Kong...
The Mauler...
"The Assassin" Rory Kotch...
"The Other Girl" Petrina Rotchester...
Johnny Moxie...
Seth Davids...
Kijar Donnelly...
and rounding out the list, Benson from the Enforcers of Pain.

Also scheduled to take place at 4 Up, the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles go on the line as Death Sentence puts the belts on the line against the Alley Ratz.

The Texas Heavyweight Championship will also be on the line as "The Dream" Chris Angel puts the belt up for grabs against Jack Clinton, who elected to cash in his Balance of Power contract at this very event.

But when you talk about 4 Up, it's all about the unique 4 Up tournament itself. It starts with a 16 person battle royal, but the object isn't necessarily winning the battle royal. It's all about seeding as the order of elimination determines which 4 way stipulation match you'll be entered into. The first four eliminated will go into the Light Tube Deathmatch. The second four eliminated will enter the TLC: Thumbtacks, Ladders and Chairs match. The third four eliminated go into the Barbed Wire Match. And the final four remaining in the ring will take part in the Chain Match. First off, the participants that have been announced thus far:

Versus Vince...
Syco Boy...
"The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler...
"The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara...
"Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu...
Mike "Beastman" Hanson...
Levetation...
and Wench.

Those eight participants are being joined by these competitors just announced!

Andy Lionheart...
Simon Sensation...
Chris P...
and SNW's latest acquisition, Jakob "The Templar" Cross.

Next week on Saturday Night Onslaught, I will announce the final four participants that will round out 4 Up.

TEXAS LAND AND CATTLE: IF YOU LIKE STEAK LIKE I LIKE STEAK, THEN GET YOUR STEAK TO TEXAS LAND AND CATTLE![/center]

[sh17]

“Kashmir” slowly begins to play as James Jackson slowly begin to walk towards the ring. The crowd begins to boo, as James climbs into the ring, and quickly grabs a microphone. James looks around as he goes to speak but pauses as the crowd keeps booing. James ignores the crowd reaction and begins to speak.

MARK BISHOP
It looks like James Jackson hasn't spared us to death enough, as he wants to come out and talk to us some more.

KOKO B. WARE
JACKSON WAS A MIRACLE!

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh dear he's gone Jerry Jones on us now. God save us all.

JAMES JACKSON
I’m pretty sure everyone in this crowd and those out watching this on television know this as well. I got screwed more than Jenna Jameson last week.

Jackson stops as the crowd begins to cheer as he looks around shaking his head and continues on.

JAMES JACKSON
However, forget about that I did do what I said I’d be doing. I beat Jack Clinton in the middle of the ring, there is no doubt of that. Codi Shane I’m going to beat you to the punch. I am here to make an announcement that will declare my intentions on SNW. They say in the world of wrestling, there is one match, event or moment that makes you stand out and let’s everyone take notice of that said individual. Many people believe my mark in SNW started not with my debut at Wrestlestock. No, my coming out party was at the hardcore event itself 4 Up. An event that I went on to win, I stood above everyone and walked out the very winner of a event that no one thought I’d win.

TAMMY WINTERS
We would have if you weren't such a doucher.

KOKO B. WARE
DIE!

So with that being said, tonight my announcement is very simple. Codi Shane, don’t force Brenda Price to make the announcement next week. I will save her some simple words. Tonight I, James Jackson, am declaring my entry into the 2010 4 Up event. I will defend my crown and walk away as the repeating champion. Now as you idiots notice, I’m in my wrestling gear. So let’s waste no more time and get this six man tag over with.

MARK BISHOP
Well a bombshell was just dropped as James Jackson stole the thunder of Brenda Price and has declared himself a competitor in 4 Up!

KOKO B. WARE
Why shouldn't he. The anus is on him to defend his crown from last year.

TAMMY WINTERS
The anus?

KOKO B. WARE
Yes, you know all about the anus Tammy. I know that you like to stick large...

MARK BISHOP
WHOA WHOA WHOA!

[/b]

"Amazing Disgrace" plays over the sound system, and the crowd continues to boo as Tyler Guevara and Andy Lionheart walk out to their Perfect World theme song. Slapping away angrily the hands of people wanting to connect with the pair, they walk to the ring as if someone urinated in their cereal.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a six person tag team match scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring representing the Perfect World, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara and "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart!

Guevara steps over the ropes as Lionheart slides under them. They join James Jackson in their corner as Jackson looks fairly uninterested in them.

MARK BISHOP
Six person tag action coming up here, and an interesting new stable has popped up. Matt Margera has founded the Perfect World, and two of the new members are saddled with the Modern Day Hero tonight.

KOKO B. WARE
Screw wrestling, we don't need it, let's talk to girls.

TAMMY WINTERS
Uh, hello?

KOKO B. WARE
I said girls, not random sluts.

TAMMY WINTERS
You only wish you stupid ni...

MARK BISHOP
ENOUGH!

All of a sudden out of nowhere, an SNW staffer wearing a black shirt comes up to the bar and hands a note to Koko. Sloppily opening the note, he reads it. With a big grin on his face, he throws his headphoes off, drops the microphone, and walks to the backstage area.

MARK BISHOP
Where the Hell did he just go?

TAMMY WINTERS
Who cares Mark? We don't have to worry about him anymore.

MARK BISHOP
Fair point. Looks like for the moment SNW fans we are a two person show.

"Enter Sandman" plays over the PA as the fans turn to cheers as Jack Clinton and Chris P. walk out from the backstage area. They each take a separate side of the aisle, mingling with the fans on their way to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents first, Chris P. and "Mr. Balance of Power" Jack Clinton!

The two large men enter the ring one at a time, casting cursory glances over at their trio of opponents who return the favor. "Stranglehold" blares over the sound system, and the fans cheer raucously as Chris Angel steps out from behind the backstage curtain. Wearing his Texas Title around his waist and his Bad Blood Title on his shoulder, he exchanges greetings with as many fans as he can as he gets a rock star reaction.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner from Los Angeles, California by way of Dallas, Texas. Weighing in at 280 lbs., he is the SNW Bad Blood and Texas Champion, "The Dream" Chris Angel!

Angel climbs through the ropes and shakes hands with both Chris P. and Clinton as he hands both of his belts to the official at large.

MARK BISHOP
A couple of interesting storylines to keep an eye on here Tammy. Jack Clinton and Chris Angel are slated to battle for Angel's Texas Championship at 4 Up. Across the ring, all three partners have now been announced for the 4 Up tournament.

TAMMY WINTERS
So do you think they will be able to work together, or will Clinton keep his friendship and play this straight up?

MARK BISHOP
Well in all honesty I don't know. Clinton and Angel are said to be the best of friends, but gold and temptation has destroyed many a friendship before in wrestling.

TAMMY WINTERS
But you'd have to think as far as these guys go back they'd be able to control their own desires enough to set aside their quest for gold to keep each other in tact for the big match.

MARK BISHOP
And what of the other three, as they all have a vested interest not solely in this match but at 4 Up as well. A momentum boost here would be very useful to decide who might be able to pull the thing out.

TAMMY WINTERS
I don't think they are looking that far ahead, they seemed to be focused on the here and now.

"The Dream" Chris Angel, "Mr. Balance of Power" Jack Clinton, and Chris P. vs. "The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara, and "The New Wave of Extreme" Andy Lionheart

The match began with Lionheart and Angel in the ring, and for the first few minutes Lionheart took advantage of his speed edge and kept the champion off his game. Shifting around the ring and landing various kicks and such, after awhile he landed a face buster to bring him down to the mat and tagged out to Guevara. Guevara slowly got into the ring, allowing Angel to get to his feet once again. Guevara landed a head butt with his massive cement block of a head that sent Angel reeling to the turnbuckle. Guevara continued to work over Angel for the next segment of the match, including slowing the pace from the amped up speed Lionheart had it at to one that a sumo wrestler would prefer. A big move of the match was when Guevara landed a thunderous standing dropkick, but only got a two count. Guevara, frustrated, grabbed Angel's hair and dragged him over to his corner and tagged in Jackson. Jackson continued the assault for the next few minutes, as Angel took all the punishment. A vast array of suplexes was used to handle up on Angel. The match almost ended when Jackson landed a Jackson Driver, and a pin fall almost got the three count but Clinton broke up the pin attempt. Clinton took this advantage to land a forceful big boot to Jackson sending him backwards. This was a momentum changer, as both men began moving to their corners to try and tag in. Jackson got the tag to his corner, and brought in Lionheart, who quickly pounced on Angel. Chris P. however had none of it, flying in and clothes lining Lionheart and quickly leaving the ring. Clinton had his hand out, and Angel got the tag to the huge crowd pop. The newly legal Clinton came in and cleaned out, bouncing around Lionheart like a pinball for the next few minutes. From a cue by Clinton, Chris P. sprinted to the other side and took out both Jackson and Guevara and held them at bay on the outside area. The match ended on a failed Ripper by Lionheart that Clinton turned into a vicious Clinton Driver that got Clinton's team the three count.

Winners: Chris P., "The Dream" Chris Angel, and "Mr. Balance of Power" Jack Clinton[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, Chris P., "Mr. Balance of Power" Jack Clinton, and the SNW Bad Blood and Texas Champion "The Dream" Chris Angel!

MARK BISHOP
Well the match was won by his team, but Chris Angel doesn't look like a winner here tonight. He took the brunt of the abuse, before he got an assist from his partners.

TAMMY WINTERS
Jack Clinton and Chris P. really saved the day and the match, as Clinton came in to beat Lionheart to a pulp and Chris P. ran the outside security to make sure it wasn't interfered with. Angel got beat all to Hell though.

MARK BISHOP
We must wonder however how this will affect the Texas Championship match at 4 Up. Angel got pretty badly beaten today, and Clinton got the win for his team tonight. The momentum looks squarely in the favor of Clinton.

TAMMY WINTERS
Only time will tell, we can only wait and see.

MARK BISHOP
When we come back from the break, I am told that Bob Sturm has been told to host a special contest and Matt Margera will take on the Switch Stallions.

DORSIX: IF YOUR BUTT HURTS, TRY IT.[/b][/center]

[sh17]

The show comes back from commercial at the VIP area of the Reconsider lounge. Two tables are pushed together with candles lit in the middle. Four groups of five tequila shots are lined up at the improvised table. Bob Sturm is standing in front of the table holding a microphone and looking white as ever.

BOB STURM
And again, welcome back to tonight's uh Guy's Night Out. I am uh standing close to this table here, and I've been uh told heretofore that I am hosting an uh impromptu SNW Drinking Challenge. And again uh, I'm not saying that I am totally against this competition, but I am uh convinced that all four members in this uh contest are going to somehow metaphorically and physically end up in that uh great beyond of fire that we uh Christians that are again both real and mythical so have deemed Hell. So without uh further uh ado, let's bring on the so-called contestants.

From the normal area walk in four people. The first guy has on a Ticket t-shirt with a backwards Rangers hat and Nikes. The second guy has a large protruding belly, and has a NASCAR polo shirt that has "DICK HICKS" monogrammed across the breast and is randomly quacking for no real reason. Next comes another large man with a large belly, this time wearing an Oklahoma State shirt and keeps muttering something that can best be described as "Wi-Fi." The last man to come in proudly and robustly is SNW's own Koko B. Ware, as he sprints into the room and takes the position closest to the table.

BOB STURM
And again, I'm not going to say that this contest is hard to win but I'm not saying that it is easy to uh win. The rules are uh very uh simple, all you have to do heretofore is to finish all five of your uh shots from the uh anus of uh Satan before your uh opponents. So without further uh pomp and uh circumstance, 5,4,3,2 and you GO!

On that mark, all four men start to do shots. After two shots, the guy in the Ranger hat stops, spins around, and pukes on the floor next to him. Dick Hicks and the Oklahoma State shirt wearer match each other shot for shot, until the last shot. Then they suddenly lock eyes, and start violently and passionately making out rolling around on the floor. Koko quickly polishes off his last shot, and slams it down on the table with a loud SLAM! and declares himself the victor. Sturm walks over to try and interview Koko, but he suddenly falls forward and passes out on the two tables.

BOB STURM
Well uh it looks like, and again I did not declare that Koko is the winner but uh he was the uh only one who completed the challenge so heretofore he is the winner. Back to you uh Mark and uh Slutty...I mean and again I didn't say that Tammy was a slut but I did.

All of a sudden Sturm falls to the ground as Dick Hicks and the OK State man both roll over him in their mad expression of love. Dick Hicks tries to dry hump Sturm, however the camera cuts away back to the bar with an extremely confused look on the faces of the commentators.

MARK BISHOP
Do I dare ask what the Hell just happened and why?

TAMMY WINTERS
I'd rather you didn't.

"Amazing Disgrace" begins to play over the PA, and we hear the gravelly voice of Johnny Cash:

"And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder,
One of the four beasts saying "Come and see."
And I saw.
And behold, a white horse."

At the end of the words Matt Margera, cane in hand, walks out from the back with a strut. With Wench at his side, he turns and passionately makes out with her, then they continue their walk down to the ring. He pokes the end of the cane at some of the fans at ringside, calling them "sewer rats" in the process as Wench laughs at them.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a handicapped match. Making his way to the ring first from Hurst, Texas. Weighing in at 220 lbs. and accompanied by Wench, Matt Margera!

Margera climbs through the middle ropes, and swiftly tosses his cane to the timekeeper all the way across the ring. The timekeeper somehow catches it, causing the fans to clap a little to give him props.

MARK BISHOP
Well the leader of the Perfect World has his work cut out from his this week. After interfering in last week's main even tag team match, Matt Margera has been given the task of taking on the men he helped assault last week the Switch Stallions.

TAMMY WINTERS
What Margera did last week was a total act in cowardice. He deserves everything he gets in this match, for sure. And why the hell is Wench being allowed out there?! She doesn't have a manager's license, for one. And two, she wasn't advertised on the card to be out there at ringside!

MARK BISHOP
Well there are practically no rules in SNW now, so she doesn't need a manager's license. And Matt Margera did say that she would be out here with him earlier this week on SNW.com. In any event, I can't imagine the two new young men will be very merciful when they get their hands on the savvy Margera.

TAMMY WINTERS
Let's hope not, they would have no reason to be.

"Fake It" screams over the sound system, and from the backstage area to the cheers and cries of the crowd emerges the Switch Stallions. Breaking ranks with their normal entrance, they quickly sprint down the aisle and hit the ring. They shove Harry Sachs out of the way and begin to beat down Matt Margera as the fans cheer their assault.

MARK BISHOP
Well the Switch Stallions do not look in any mood for frivolities, as they go right after Margera.

TAMMY WINTERS
Nothing but fair payback from last week. Karma is a bitch Margera.

Matt Margera vs. The Switch Stallions

The bell quickly rang as Harry Sachs and Wench both evacuated the ring and the referee took control. The two Stallions were kicking and punching away at Margera, eventually getting him into the corner and slumped on the bottom turnbuckle as they stomped a mudhole into him. The referee eventually got the two off of him, and allowed Margera to return to his feet. The Stallions completely worked over Margera for the majority of the match, never truly letting Margera get his wits about him. The Stallions used their double team moves to carry them in this match. An enzugiri by Donnelly lead to a crucifix pin by Davids, but Margera was able to kick his feet and get out of the pinning predicament after only a two count. Davids then a couple minutes later landed a double arm DDT, and Donnelly jumped onto the ropes and landed a springboard moonsault across the chest of Margera and went for another cover. Again, the Stallions just barely missed winning the match as Margera was able to kick out of the cover. Davids and Donnelly were both frustrated, and continued to double team assault Margera for the next few minutes. After awhile, Wench looked like she wanted to interfere on her husband's behalf. She climbed up on the apron, and Davids left the assault and walked over to her over on the apron. He started taunting her on the ropes, trying to get her off the apron. Donnelly was briefly distracted and started to walk over with Davids, but he was waved off by his partner. Donnelly turned around, and Margera was able to get to his feet and in a flash hit Donnelly with the Benihana. He went for a cover, and right as Wench dropped off the apron the referee counted ONE...TWO...THREE! The bell rang and Davids turned around expecting to see a win, but instead his partner was down and Margera was outside the ring having his hand raised.

Winner: Matt Margera

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Matt Margera!

MARK BISHOP
Matt Margera had no business winning that match, but talk about being better for three seconds only. Wench distracted Seth Davids, and that gave Margera barely enough time to land a Benihana and get the win.

TAMMY WINTERS
That was just a shame. That little snake Margera and his little whore wife screwed those two young guys out of a win.

MARK BISHOP
Well the Perfect World went 1-1 tonight, and you know that the Versus Violation leader can't be happy with this loss.

TAMMY WINTERS
Well you can't blame the two kids, they should have won this thing for all intensive purposes.

MARK BISHOP
Out of the next break folks, it is our main event tag team match!

VOTE SNAKE: HE KNOWS HOW TO SILENCE A WOMAN![/b][/center]

[sh17]

"Shitlist" blares over the sound system, and the fans boo as Benson and S.T. Strickler walk out from the backstage section. The fans are lobbing verbal boo missiles at the two, but neither seem to really care. Strickler has a particular swagger to his stride, while Benson doesn't show any emotion except that of a rock.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the following is your main event and it is a tag team contest scheduled for one fall. Making their way to the ring first, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson, the Enforcers of Pain!

Strickler hops through the ropes with relative ease, as Benson climbs through them with a slower pace. Stricker poses on the turnbuckle, enduring more heat from the fans as Benson stares menacingly at the hateful audience.

MARK BISHOP
We have finally come to the main event, and this is by far the definition of a grudge match. So many story lines to go over in this one, so let's start from the beginning. When S.T. Strickler started here, he kept bringing up a certain "insurance policy" poised to bring him to victory.

TAMMY WINTERS
We thought that to be Syco Boy, however after a falling out between the two Syco Boy left Strickler out to dry.

MARK BISHOP
Which led to a nice little tri feud involving those two and another rising SNW star Levetation.

TAMMY WINTERS
Then Strickler's insurance policy finally surfaces in the form of Benson, and the Enforcers of Pain were born. Syco countered by teaming up with Levetation, and here we sit folks.

"Always" boomed over the sound system, and the fans cheered as Syco Boy walked out from the back. He breaks into a sprint as he runs down the aisle while slapping hands with the railside fans.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents first from Clayton, North Carolina. Weighing in at 223 lbs., Syco Boy!

Syco goes through the ropes as he gets to the apron, and stares directly at the Enforcers of Pain across the ring from him. They glare at him right back.

MARK BISHOP
Syco Boy returned last year for a brief stint at last year's 4 Up, however he made a full time return later in the year.

TAMMY WINTERS
I've got to say, Syco has had some up and down times ever since returning but the last couple of weeks he really has seemed to be in sync and back to his championship form of old.

MARK BISHOP
I tend to agree with you Tammy, he seems like he knows what he is doing and maybe this new alliance or somesuch with Levetation has reinvigorated him.

TAMMY WINTERS
Somesuch? Who are you Myke Rhines?

"Don't Wait" blares over the sound system, and the fans continue to cheer as levetation walks out from the back. He walks down the aisle with a fairly solid gait, reaching over and exchanging hand slaps with as many fans as possible from his angle.

HARRY SACHS
His partner from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Weighing in at 227 lbs., Levetation!

Levetation climbs through the ropes, and went to pose on the turnbuckles. He jumped down, and then slapped hands and bro-hugged Syco Boy in their corner of the ring.

MARK BISHOP
Levetation is by far one of the top rising talents in SNW, and has been ever since he debuted last year. Teaming with a veteran presence in Syco Boy could really do him a lot of good as far as expanding his talent and mental experience.

TAMMY WINTERS
I definitely agree with that Mark, Levetation can really improve himself with some learning from the experienced former champ.

MARK BISHOP
Mind giving us a pick to click here Ms. Winters?

TAMMY WINTERS
Not at all Mr. Bishop. As much as I like the team of Syco and Levetation...well Hell wait I'll go ahead and take them to win tonight.

Enforcers of Pain vs. Syco Boy and Levetation

Benson and Levetation started out the match for their teams. Levetation tried to use his quick strike offense, but Benson was able to use his bulk to deflect the various kicks that Levetation wanted to wear down Benson with. A clubbing fist to the back of Levetation gave Benson the upper hand in the opening of the match. For the first few minutes of the match, Benson utilized his massive frame to shove around Levetation. A Samoan Drop rocked his opponent, as Benson went for a cover but only got a two count. He went for a piledriver, and again only got a two count. He dragged Levetation over to the Enforcers of Pain corner, and tagged in the smaller man Strickler. Strickler matched up better, using his own compact yet quick size to execute kicks and various high risks moves to keep Levetation at his mercy for the next couple of minutes in the match. Levetation almost lost the match for his team when he took a vicious Dragon Whip kick directly on the temple, and Strickler clamored for the leg hook. A near fall was all he got however, as Syco quickly came in and broke the pin up right after the two count. Strickler brought him to his feet, and looked ready for the fisherman's buster to put him away, but Levetation swiftly landed a well placed fist to the groin of Strickler. Both men dropped to their knees, and Levetation was able to scramble to his corner and tag in Syco to the crowd's delight. Syco came in and drilled the downed Strickler in the head with a dropkick and went for a quick pinfall but only got a two count. Syco quickly went outside the ring, and from the bottom retrieved a ladder. He threw it into the ring, and left it laying there as he went back to work on Strickler. The next few minutes Syco was able to prevent Strickler from tagging out to Benson, forcing all the punishment on Strickler. After leaving Strickler on the mat with a DDT, he went and grabbed the ladder. He held it like a battering ram and waited for Strickler to get to his feet. As Strickler got himself up on the ropes by the turnbuckle. Syco charged, only to be cut off as Benson had entered the ring and delivered a huge boot into the ladder forcing it directly into Syco's chest. Syco fell to the ground with the ladder on top of him, and Levetation quickly came into the match to try and stick up for his partner. However as he charged Benson, he was grabbed and thrown in a power slam right on top of Syco gut first. Levetation grabbed his abdomen and rolled out of the way. Syco stumbled over, and Benson ripped the ladder off of Syco. He picked Strickler up, hoisted him over his head, and dropped him right on top of Syco driving the air out of him and allowing Strickler to go for the pine ONE...TWO....THREE!

Winners: Enforcers of Pain

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson, the Enforcers of Pain!

MARK BISHOP
Syco tried to polish off the match for good using a ladder, but it just didn't work out quite right for him. Benson stepped in and reversed the whip, and took out Levetation in the process.

TAMMY WINTERS
Syco shouldn't have tried to win the match like that, it was pointless. He could have just won it a simpler way, but getting cute cost him the match.

MARK BISHOP
Strickler will be insufferable now, you know modesty really isn't the biggest club in his bag.

TAMMY WINTERS
Damn you Syco and Leetation, now we have to listen to Strickler brag.

MARK BISHOP
Well catch us next week as we roll on towards 4 Up. Next week is the last show before the pay per view, so find out who will be the last people into 4 Up! Stay hard, keep jammin', and we'll see ya!

2010 EXACTLY I MEAN PRODUCTIONS[/b][/center]