Guy's Night Out 6/5/2010

[sh17]

We see a video montage of night life in Dallas/Fort Worth set to the tune of "El Phantasmo and the Chicken Run Blast-O-Rama."



LIVE! DUNPORK'S HOUSE OF BACON! COPPELL, TX!

Shot opens inside Dunpork's House of Bacon, as the fans are going nuts. They are screaming and waving signs that say things like "LIGHTS OUT JAMES JACKSON", "I JUST FARTED", and "ANTHONY BLOODBATH SUCKS!" We are taken to the commentary desk with Mark Bishop, Koko B. Ware, and Tammy Winters as they run down tonight's show with various shots of the DFW skyline and such.

MARK BISHOP
Hello everyone and welcome to Guy's Night Out here from Dunpork's House of Bacon. We've got a big show for you tonight, culminating in our main event: a non title showdown between Chris P. and the winner of 4 Up James Jackson!

KOKO B. WARE
We will also see a handicapped match as my new favorite wrestler Tyler Straven will take on the pair of spares the Switch Stallions!

TAMMY WINTERS
New #1 contenders for the Texas Tag Team Titles will be decided as we see a Tag Team Turmoil match between Enforcers of Pain, SiMox, The Alley Ratz, and Mauler and Mike Hanson!

MARK BISHOP
We will also see Tyler Guevara and Danny Palis in action, Vincent Matthews will break his silence on his 4 Up injury, and we expect to hear from Alex Daniels, Wench, Jack Clinton, and many more!

A referee pops out from the back for our opening contest, and Ned Carter quickly runs down to the ring after him as the fans taunt him. "BADStreet USA" blares over the PA, and the fans boo again as Danny Palis stumbles out from the back. A bottle of SoCo in his hand, he haphazardly navigates the aisle to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen this is your opening contest scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring from Ponder, Texas. Weighing in at 236 lbs., Ned Carter! His opponent from Boston, Massachusetts. Weighing in at 225 lbs., Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis!

Palis comes through the ropes, amazingly enough not spilling his bottle of booze. He takes another big swig off of the container, and then throws it out into the audience. A member catches it with adept agility, then proceeds to chug it.

MARK BISHOP
SNW's resident alcoholic wrestler, since Koko and Followill keep fighting for alcoholic commentator...

KOKO B. WARE
Please, that white boy ain't got nothin' on me!

MARK BISHOP
Right, well anyway Palis had quite the break out showing at 4 Up. He sent Syco tumbling into those tacks, and took advantage of the opportunity to get himself into Cage of Death.

KOKO B. WARE
This guy, this is the guy...

TAMMY WINTERS
The only reason you like this jackass Koko is because he can be your drinking buddy.

KOKO B. WARE
What's your point?

TAMMY WINTERS
That we will see you on Intervention someday.

KOKO B. WARE
Screw that man, rehab is for wusses.

Ned Carter vs. Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis

The bell rang, and Palis took the offensive very quickly. He staggered up to Carter, and sprayed the remnants of his SoCo into the face of Carter who shakes his head and tries to shake it out of his eyes as the fans boo Palis. Palis grabs Carter and lands him with a vicious piledriver, dropping him on his head. He quickly locks in the King Buck, as Carter furiously taps the mat in submission for the bell.

Winner: Danny Palis

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis!

MARK BISHOP
Well that was fairly academic, if not degrading. Did he really have to spray the SoCo in Carter's face?

KOKO B. WARE
I actually agree with you Mark, he shouldn't have done that.

MARK BISHOP
...really now? Why?

KOKO B. WARE
Not because he disrespected Ned Carter, I'm all for that. But because he wasted some perfectly good SoCo!

TAMMY WINTERS
Of course, always comes back to that.[/b]

The shot switches to Syco Boy talking on his cell phone.

SYCO BOY
Max where the hell are you... What do you mean you're still... We have a shot to go after the tag team titles and you're just leaving me out to dry? Man...this is just. So what am I supposed to do? I know you can't help it but this puts me in a real puddle of shit you know that? Fine I'll talk to you later.

Syco slams his phone shut and is about to throw it against the wall when it starts vibrating. He opens it up and reads a text. He just smiles and walks away.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ut0WDb-xzks&feature=related[/center]

[sh17]

Out from commercial and we see Mike LaFontaine standing in the ring adjusting the ring tape on his wrists. "American Lab Rat" screams over the sound system, and the fans lustily boo as Tyler Guevara slowly walks out from the backstage area. He moves his massive frame down the aisle, as the fans berate him with tinfoil hats on.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Already in the ring from Quebec City, Quebec, Canada. Weighing in at 241 lbs., Mike LaFontaine! His opponent making his way to the ring from Jacksonville, Florida. Weighing in at 300 lbs., "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

Guevara slings his leg over the top rope and steps into the ring, being physically dominant over LaFontaine.

MARK BISHOP
Tyler Guevara looks to get back on track here this week, after failing to make it to Cage of Death at 4 Up. He's got an easy opponent however, as he faces perennial failure Mike LaFontaine.

KOKO B. WARE
In these times here in America, do we really need a Canadian in this company?

MARK BISHOP
That's very Ed Carter of you Koko.

KOKO B. WARE
I'm just saying, maybe we need to give this spot more to a more American wrestler than this possibly northern homosexual.

TAMMY WINTERS
That's what you're all up behind though, homosexuals.

KOKO B. WARE
Horrible joke and you know it.

TAMMY WINTERS
That's all you have so you're used to it.

Mike LaFontaine vs. "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara

LaFontaine tries to storm up to Guevara, and slap Guevara right in the chest. Guevara looks irritated, like a gnat just flew and landed on his chest. He smashed LaFontaine right in the chest with a skillet sized hand, sending him reeling backwards. Guevara then followed up with a headbutt that damn near split LaFontaine open. Guevara grabbed him with both hands, lifted him up, and after a moment brought LaFontaine down with Hellbent for Destruction rocking the mat. Guevara placed a single hand across the chest of LaFontaine ONE...TWO...THEE!

Winner: Tyler Guevara

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara!

MARK BISHOP
Well I'm not sure if you can call that a valiant effort on the part of LaFontaine, but he tried and Guevara just rocked him.

KOKO B. WARE
That's what you get when you send a Canadian to do the job an American could do.

MARK BISHOP
Very patriotic today are we?

KOKO B. WARE
I support freedom and liberty all the time Mark.

TAMMY WINTERS
He's just force fielding you Mark.

MARK BISHOP
Well speaking of America, as you know we are having campaigns to see who will become the first President of SNW. Let us join now Brenda Price, who is out in the crowd with a candidate.[/b]

We are taken out to a section of the audience, where Brenda Price is standing smiling with a microphone. Next to her, wearing a David Murphy red jersey shirt and black, acid wash jhorts is Myke Rhines.

BRENDA PRICE
Thank you Mark, I am here with Myke Rhines who has requested I join him out here in the crowd. What are you doing out here Myke?

MYKE RHINES
Well Brenda, first of all I would like to verbalize that you really would do well to enhance your chestal cavity substantially. Secondly, as I continually attempt to improve my standings in the race for President, I feel that delegation amongst the common man is crucial and essential.

BRENDA PRICE
So you're trying to get people to vote for you?

MYKE RHINES
Precisely, now you follow me bitch and we will see what we can drudge up here.

The two walk amongst the crowd, until they stop at a very large gentlemen. He is wearing a large David Clyde retro jersey, with a backwards Stars hat and also wearing jhorts.

MYKE RHINES
Ahhh yes, another Rangers fan. What is your name sir.

HOMER
My name's Homer, and I live in Pelican Bay.

MYKE RHINES
Well I didn't ask, nor do I really care, where you live at. Especially when you live in a hellhole like that. Anyway, are you going to vote for me when the time comes to cast your ballot, or somesuch?

HOMER
Hell nah man, I don't vote. Eff that bunch of bullsh.

MYKE RHINES
I see, well please don't hesitate to direct yourself straight to Hell. Thank you.

Rhines moves on as the large, hillbilly methhead looking man seems fairly angry. They move up next to a girl wearing a half shirt, with large breasts and tight jeans. Her face looks like that of a chronic smoker, but Rhines seems to not care.

MYKE RHINES
Alright, now THIS is someone I am much interested in. What's your name?

CASSANDRA
My name is Cassandra.

MYKE RHINES
And where do you ply your craft? Cabaret North, Spearmint Rhino, Babydoll's?

CASSANDRA
I work at the Londoner pub.

MYKE RHINES
Oh, judging by the size of those giant gazonkas that you had your employment at some sort of men's entertainment industry. However, if I was to purchase for you as a campaign gift a brassiere what size would I need to acquire?

CASSANDA
36 Triple F.

MYKE RHINES
Wonderful, but you could still use implants. Now, sweetheart, will you be in my corner whenever the time for voting will be had?

CASSANDRA
Ew, no. You're too old. I'm going to vote for someone like Chase Crawford, or Kevin Jonas. They're dreamy!

MYKE RHINES
I see. Well before I depart, I will go ahead and take the liberty of getting me some of those melons...

With that statement Rhines tries to place his hands on the breasts of Cassandra. Her male friend, however, takes great offense to this. He is extremely muscle bound, and tattooed up. He delivers a right hand directly to the face of Rhines, who staggers and falls down while emitting some flatulence. A drunk P1, wearing a Ticket t-shirt, sees this and jumps on the back of the muscle head. This sets off a full scale brawl, with everyone fighting amongst the crowd. Security guards try to break up the riot as the show goes to break.

www.dailymotion.com/video/x7ms65_saturday-night-live-cluckin-chicken_fun[/center]

[sh17]

"Shitlist" blares over the PA, and the fans boo as S.T. Strickler and Benson storm out from the backstage area. Strickler leads the way down the aisle, with a bit of flair as Benson adapts a more simple style of forcefully walking to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following is a Tag Team Turmoil match, where the winners will become the #1 contenders for the SNW Texas Tag Team Championships! The match will start with two teams in the ring, until one is eliminated by pinfall or submission. At which point the next team will enter, and the match will go until there is only one team left standing. Making their way to the ring first, "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson, the Enforcers of Pain!

Strickler hops into the ring, while Benson steps over the top rope and rumbles into the ring.

MARK BISHOP
This is the first time I can remember seeing a Tag Team Turmoil match here at SNW, but this one has quite a bit on the line. The next shot at the Texas Tag Team Titles is on the line, and you've got some solid teams in this match.

KOKO B. WARE
This could be, actually no this WILL be, the team that wins this entire match and then rips away those titles from the scum Death Sentence.

MARK BISHOP
Is this really wise to be saying? You've been physically assaulted before.

TAMMY WINTERS
Shut up Bishop, I want to see him get his ass kicked.

MARK BISHOP
Well another thing we have to worry about is the status of Levetation and Syco Boy. We learned earlier that Levetation is not at the building tonight. Syco obviously looked like he had a plan, as he seemed happy to get a text messgae.

KOKO B. WARE
Meh.

"One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" blares over the PA, and the fans cheer now as the Mauler and Mike Hanson walk out to the adulation of the fans. They go down the aisle slapping hands with the elated fans at ringside.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, representing the Destruction Crew, Mike "Beastman" Hanson and The Mauler!

Hanson and Mauler climb through the ropes into the ring, and stare down their opponents who are showing just as much compassion.

MARK BISHOP
In addition to the two teams we have before us, the Alley Ratz, and Syco Boy and what appears to be now a mystery partner will join the fray after one team is eliminated here.

KOKO B. WARE
You've got the winner right here Mark why are you listing off all these other spares?

MARK BISHOP
You can't possibly know that, all of these teams are well appointed and could easily win this match.

KOKO B. WARE
Don't you think that the Enforcers of Pain are the favorites?

MARK BISHOP
I don't see how you can have a favorite with such different styles, and also a mystery element with Syco Boy.

TAMMY WINTERS
He doesn't know what he's talking about, he chugged a pitcher of Blue Moon during the commercials.

KOKO B. WARE
It was Heineken I'll have you know.

Tag Team Turmoil: Enforcers of Pain vs. Mauler and Mike "Beastman" Hanson vs. The Alley Ratz vs. SiMox vs. Syco Boy and ??

Benson and Hanson started in the ring, exchanging various exhibitions of power in what was definitely a showdown of two powerhouses. Benson took the edge with a quick thumb to the eye, and then took the offensive with a forceful short arm clothesline. He then took over, keeping Hanson down by any means necessary. After a few minutes, Hanson was able to somehow tag out to Mauler. For a couple minutes Mauler was able to keep his team in it, surprising Benson early with a very quick burst offense. However, a failed DDT led to a pile driver on Mauler by Benson. Benson tagged out to Strickler, who rushed in and locked in an ankle lock. Twisting and cranking, cranking and twisting eventually Mauler started tapping out eliminating the Destruction Crew team from the match. Strickler let off and let the two exit the ring, anticipating who would enter next. "I Can't Wait" blasts over the sound system, as Johnny Moxie and Simon Sensation run down to the ring. They pulled Benson down and hit his head on the apron, and then Sensation hit a legsweep as Moxie landed a sick superkick to the adulation of the fans. Sensation entered the ring and landed a huge roundhouse kick on Strickler as Moxie climbed on the apron. Strickler was isolated for awhile, as Sensation worked him over for a few minutes. A forceful Samoan drop almost eliminated his team, but Strickler got his foot on the bottom rope to break it up. Benson had climbed back up on the ring, but Sensation sprinted across the ring and dropkicked him sending him flying off and landing chest first on the barricade. Strickler grabbed Sensation, and tried to lock him up for the Fisherman's Buster. However, Sensation dropped back and landed a German suplex on Strickler. Sensation tagged in Moxie, and Moxie climbed the turnbuckle. Sensation grabbed his partner, and they executed the East-West Connection to perfection and Moxie pinned Strickler ONE...TWO...THREE! Strickler and Benson are eliminated, as Sensation slides Strickler out of the ring. "Chicken Huntin'" booms over the PA, and the fans cheer as Twitch and Eddy storm down from the backstage area into the ring with this time almost a jet stream of smoke following them to the ring. Eddy stands on the apron, and Twitch enters the ring to go after Moxie. Twitch tried to clothesline Moxie, but Moxie ducked, however Twitch landed a quick kick to the jaw of Moxie that dropped him down to his knees. Twitch took control of the match, fighting through some heavily red eyes to keep Moxie reeling. A quick spike DDT and a near fall caused Twitch to tag in his partner Eddy. They double team Moxie for a moment, and they shoot him off the ropes and try to double drop kick but instead Moxie drops them both with a double clothesline as all three fell to the ring. Twitch rolls out, and Moxie struggled to get to his corner to tag in an excited Sensation. Eddy tried to stop Moxie, but a quick kick to the stomach and a scramble to Sensation got Moxie the tag and Sensation came in like a house of fire. After a few minutes of domination that Eddy was able to get in some offense, Sensation blasted him with the Overnight Sensation and went for the pin ONE...TWO...THREE! The fans cheer as Twitch drops off the ring apron depressed and takes Eddy with him. Moxie and Sensation stand around for a moment, waiting for their opponents. After a minute, "Always" by Saliva plays over the sound system, and the fans roar with excitement as Syco Boy and Dave Mason run down the aisle into the ring as the Xtreme Team makes their return to SNW. All four men are brawling for a minute, as the fans are chanting "WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK!" to Mason. Eventually the referee separates the two, as Mason and Sensation are in the ring together. The match up became high risk high speed, as Sensation and Mason traded kicks and aerial moves. Mason got the edge with a drop kick that landed right on the button, and gave the Xtreme Team the momentum for awhile. Mason dominated for a few minutes, including a beautiful Mega Spot that would have been a three count if Moxie hadn't flown in and broken up the pin attempt. Mason tagged in Syco, who tried to take the control but Sensation ducked a kick and speared Mason off the apron. Landing a quick uppercut on Syco, Sensation sprinted to tag in Moxie. Working quickly, Moxie once again climbed the turnbuckle. Sensation lined up Syco, and hit him with the Overnight Sensation and Moxie landed In-Mox-Ication and completed the Total F'n Annihilation. Sensation dropkicks Mason to keep him off the pinfall as Moxie hooks the leg ONE...TWO...THREE!

Winners: SiMox

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners of the match, and the new #1 contenders for the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles, Simon Sensation and Johnny Moxie, SiMox!

MARK BISHOP
What a shocking match, so much action to go over but let's start with the news that the Xtreme Team, one of SNW's greatest tag teams ever, has made their return to the company. They came up just short however, as SiMox ended up with the win here.

KOKO B. WARE
What a joke, first those two insane maniacs return but then we get two fruits as the new #1 contenders! What the Hell is going on anymore?

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh wah wah wah, go change your maxipad and shut up you little bitch.

KOKO B. WARE
Least I don't have to use an entire roll of toilet paper as a maxipad because my body cave is so wide.

TAMMY WINTERS
...

MARK BISHOP
On that very awkward note, we'll be back in a couple minutes.[/b]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWib-Uut4R4&feature=related[/center]

[sh17]

"Superhero" by Jane's Addiction is blasting over the PA system, and everyone inside Dunpork's House Of Bacon is booing their lungs out as "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels has entered the ring, mic in hand. We then quickly cut to highlights from 4 Up.

MARK BISHOP
You'll recall at 4 Up two weeks ago when during the Light Tube Deathmatch, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels ran in and hit Andy Lionheart with a dropkick, then nailed Wench with the Thunderbolt, effectively costing her any chance of winning the match.

TAMMY WINTERS
And Matt Margera was none too pleased about it as he gave chase after Kid Thunder.

KOKO B. WARE
And I've gotta say, Kid Thunder was lucky security was able to get him and Matt Margera separated backstage, because I'm afraid that Matt might have made mincemeat of him.

"Superhero" dies down as the camera shot goes back to Kid Thunder, now inside the ring with a mic in hand.

KID THUNDER
I don't think there's any doubt in anyone's mind as to why I cost Wench her chance at winning 4 Up two weeks ago. In fact, it's simple, really. At WrestleStock II, I wrestled the perfect match. But I made one mistake... ONE MISTAKE! And that one mistake cost me the chance to finally win championship gold here in SNW. Deep down, I know that if given the opportunity for a rematch, I could beat Wench and become the Von Erich Memorial Champion. And obviously, Wench knew that as well, which is why she ducked me for a rematch. So when others had a shot at the belt, I made sure they couldn't win it. Not because I wanted to help Wench, but because I wanted Wench to be the one I beat to win that Von Erich Memorial Championship. I didn't want someone else to win it, I beat that person, then Wench to come out and say "Hey, you're not a true champion because you couldn't beat me." Then 4 Up came along, and I didn't want to take a chance on Wench vacating the Von Erich Memorial Championship if she had won the Bad Blood Championship, so I did what I had to do. And Matt Margera, you better be thanking whatever devil or god you worship for the security that separated us, because I would've torn you a new assh[bleep]!

"Awake And Alive" by Skillet hits over the PA, and the fans inside Dunpork's don't show Wench much love as she makes her way down to the ring, along with Matt Margera. Wench is holding her title belt over her shoulder.

TAMMY WINTERS
And here comes the Von Erich Memorial Champion.

KOKO B. WARE
As someone from up on I-35 would say, business is about to pick up.

Harry Sachs hands Wench a spare mic right before she and Matt enter the ring. They get inside as Kid Thunder stares them down.

WENCH
Alex, you wanted my attention? You wanted this belt? You wanted a rematch? Well be careful what you wish for, because now you have it...

Kid Thunder is grinning from ear to ear until...

WENCH
On one condition. You have to put something up on the line... your career!

WHOOOAAAA!

Kid Thunder doesn't know what to say at the proposal that Wench has just thrown down.

MARK BISHOP
His career?! He's only in his 20s!

Kid Thunder thinks it over a bit, then he nods his head and is ready to give his answer.

KID THUNDER
I accept. I am that confident in my ability to beat you for that title that I'm willing to call it a career before I even hit my peak. And Matt, you better not stick your damn nose in that match, because if you so much as...

Before Kid Thunder can say anything else, the main chorus of "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer" by George Thorogood blasts over the PA to a huge pop from the fans. Matt and Wench turn around to see Super Vader marching his way down to the ring as Kid Thunder throws his hands up in the air and rolls his eyes.

KOKO B. WARE
Someone tell this fat ass that the breakfast buffet is not for another eight hours!

MARK BISHOP
Oh come on now, Koko! That was uncalled for!

TAMMY WINTERS
Koko, you're one to talk about other people's weight.

KOKO B. WARE
Where's Joran Van Der Sloot when we need him?

There is no reaction from Mark Bishop and Tammy Winters as they lay out on what has to be the most shocking thing ever said on the SNW airwaves. Meanwhile, Super Vader has brought a mic with him and has something to say to everyone in the ring.

SUPER VADER
Just what the f[bleep]k do you think you're doing, Wench, ducking me when you know damn well you wouldn't be champion right now if it wasn't for what you and your Satan worshiping piece of s[bleep]t husband injuring me several months ago?! When am I getting my damn rematch?!

KID THUNDER
Hey, pal! This is my time! And besides, we're on live TV, so you better cut it out with the language before I call your mother to wash that foul mouth of yours with soap!

Super Vader throws down his mic and rushes to Kid Thunder, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and holding him up in the air as Matt Margera and Wench run and ambush Super Vader from behind with running forearm shots, causing Super Vader to drop Kid Thunder to the mat as he turns around to knock both Matt and Wench down with right hand punches. Gordon Heath and Codi Shane both rush out and shout "STOP IT! STOP IT NOW!"

GORDIE
All of you, cut it out now or else Codi and I will use our executive powers to fire all of you and there will be no rematches!

Everyone stops, dusting themselves off as they turn their attentions to Codi and Gordie. Codi and Gordie nod their heads and motion for the ringside security crew to get into the ring to keep everyone separated and calm.

CODI
Now Gordie and I don't agree on a whole lot. Hell, we don't agree on anything until now. We both agree that what we have here with everyone wanting a shot at the Von Erich Memorial Title is a failure to communicate. Super Vader, all you had to do was come to either me or Gordie instead of coming out her to cause a ruckus. Then we have Chris P, who says he should be getting a shot because he was cheated by Kid Thunder. And Kid Thunder, you've been creating chaos until you got your way. So this is what's going down. Gordie, you may have the honors.

GORDIE
Thank you, Codi. First off, Alex Daniels, Wench, at The Main Event at Bethesda Christian School in Fort Worth, it will be the Von Erich Memorial Championship vs Kid Thunder's career. Alex, you win, and you become the new Von Erich Memorial Champion. But you lose, and you never wrestle ever again. Now after The Main Event, whoever the champion is will defend the title the very next week against Super Vader on the July 3rd edition of Saturday Night Onslaught. Then, the winner of that match will put the Von Erich Memorial Championship on the line against Chris P at Summer Bash on July 24th from the Moody Coliseum in Dallas, Texas. Thank you all, and good night!

Gordie and Codi make their way to the back as Matt, Wench, Super Vader and Kid Thunder all stare each other down, with the security keeping them separated.

MARK BISHOP
A big blow off the lid here tonight!

TAMMY WINTERS
It's going to be a busy month for the Von Erich Memorial Championship.

KOKO B. WARE
I don't envy whoever will be champion this next month and a half. You win just to have to defend it the next week, then defend it two weeks later if you're lucky to hold onto it!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1Sbw52bBDw&feature=related

[sh17]

MARK BISHOP
Folks we are just about ready to see Tyler Straven take on the Switch Stallions, however the people in the truck are telling me there is a video that Straven requested be played before the match tonight. Let's take you to that.

EARLIER TODAY

The video begins looking out onto the parking lot of Dunpok's House Of Bacon. Already there are many SNW fans milling around; the camera catches one fan wearing a Chris Angel shirt. A few fans stand in line eager to get in for GNO. It's then that we see none other than IP Freely standing at the entrance with a camera crew standing around him.

The whole crew seems fixated on the entrance of the parking lot waiting for any of the SNW stars to arrive. It's then that a loud throb of V8 coming down the road that catches the attention of the crew. The camera man swings into action, throwing the camera up over his shoulder and quickly turning it on, placing the view finder to his eye.

It's then that we see a familiar car, a plain black 1958 Plymouth coupe slowly hangs a left into the parking lot. It then rolls to a stop in a reserved park for wrestlers, and the V8 engine is shut off. The fan's attention is quickly drawn to the car as IP Freely rushes towards it with his camera crew. Then the driver's door opens slowly, and none other than "The Solution" Tyler Straven himself steps out. The fans are quick to boo and break out into a "TYLER SUCKS!" chant as Tyler lowers the black sunglasses to the bridge of his nose before he can even close the door on his car. IP Freely has a microphone under his nose and asks Tyler a question.

IP FREELY
Tyler, how do you feel about your match tonight being a two-on-one handicapped match?

Tyler angrily slams the door shut on his car, as he looks at IP Freely a look of utter contempt crosses his face as he starts to talk.

TYLER STRAVEN
For a start who ever the hell you are, when you address me it's Mr Straven.

IP FREELY
Well Mr. Straven, I am IP Freely, GNO's backstage reporter and............

Tyler cuts him off in mid sentence as he simply raises his hand, causing IP Freely to stop talking. Tyler takes a deep breath and begins to talk.

TYLER STRAVEN
Your name has no importance. I see no benefit of having that little useless fact in my mind, I will however let you listen to my words as to enlighten you. Tonight is not a handicapped match, well in a way it is for the Switch Stallions. You see, even with the two of them they still have no chance in Hell of putting my shoulders to the mat for a three count.

I know that somewhere Gordon Heath and Codi Shane are watching this and thinking that tonight they have ended any chance of the truth coming out. In a way I have to feel sorry for the Switch Stallions, because they are going to end up being nothing more than a footnote in the history of those that tried and failed to stop the Solution from coming to fruition.

IP FREELY
So you are saying there is a wide spread conspiracy within this company to make sure you fail some would call that being paranoid?

Tyler's face starts to twitch with anger as he clenches his fists so hard that his knuckles begin to go white as snow as he starts to talk again.

TYLER STRAVEN
You think I am paranoid? The facts speak for themselves. I am coming off of what can only be described as the most brutal night in the history of SNW. I have ten stitches in my forehead, I have three badly bruised ribs, SNW management decided to throw me to the wolves, and you call me paranoid? You're just one of their minions aren't you? You don't want the Solution to spread, that is why you are standing here right now isn't it? To bring doubt into my mind? Well I am telling you right here right now in front of all these bacon loving sorry excuses for human beings that tonight I, Tyler Straven, will not be defeated. I will not and refuse to have my beliefs crushed by those that fear the truth. Tonight, the Switch Stallions face their Catastrophic Conclusion.


Tyler pushes IP Freely and the cameraman out of the way, and begins to make his way inside the building. IP Freely looks at the camera and shrugs his shoulders. We are taken back to ringside where the commentators are sitting.

MARK BISHOP
Certainly some strong words from Tyler Straven to his opponents the Swith Stallions tonight. Conspiracy eh?

KOKO B. WARE
He's got a point. He is being colluded against!

MARK BISHOP
You don't possibly believe that do you Koko?

KOKO B. WARE
I damn sure do Mark. What other explanation is there Mark?

TAMMY WINTERS
I'm sure Tyler is a frequent visitor of Koko's Tinfoil Hat Kiosk, where they pop Prozacs and worship at the alter of the Martians.

Both Mark and Koko turn to look at Tammy, who shrugs her shoulders as to say "Hey I tried." "Cotton Mouth" screeches over the sound system, and the fans hiss as Tyler Straven walks out from the backstage area. He walks down the aisle ignorant to the fan's cries of hate.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following contest is a handicapped match scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Christchurch, New Zealand. Weighing in at 275 lbs., "The Solution" Tyler Straven!

Straven rolls into the ring, and angrily stares at all his detractors.

MARK BISHOP
Well Straven as we mentioned earlier was very close to coming away with the title at 4 Up, however he did more than enough to put himself in the lime light.

KOKO B. WARE
He injured the now wussified Vincent Matthews, threw Chase Daniels through a barbed wire table, and now he's going to beat up two men at once. What a badass.

TAMMY WINTERS
Maybe he can spend his money after this match and get some more tweaker looking tattoos.

KOKO B. WARE
Those are tremendous works of art, not "tweaker tattoos."

TAMMY WINTERS
Says the man who still spends his time looking for a dead bird in what could only be a drug induced haze.

KOKO B. WARE
That was one time, and I was told that the pot was pure...

MARK BISHOP
How the Hell did we get to this topic?

"Fake It" plays over the sound system, and the fans cheer as the Switch Stallions and Valerie Snyder walk out from the back. Valerie seems to be getting more cheers than the two Stallions, however all three are beloved as they walk down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
His opponents accompanied to the ring by Valerie Snyder and representing Versus Violation. "The Italian Stallion" Kijar Donnelly and "The Switchblade" Seth Davids, the Switch Stallions!

Davids and Donnelly climb into the ring as Straven is doing his traditional prayer like routine in the corner.

MARK BISHOP
Versus Violation had a very nice 4 Up themselves, with Kijar Donnelly becoming the #1 contender for the Bad Blood Title and Versus Vince was able to make it into Cage of Death.

KOKO B. WARE
The worst person in Cage of Death mind you, was Vince. Also, the "match" Donnelly "won" was a damn joke.

TAMMY WINTERS
Still more matches than you ever won.

KOKO B. WARE
Not true, I won plenty of titles.

TAMMY WINTERS
Oh yeah? How many did you win in the WWF?

KOKO B. WARE
Uh....

TAMMY WINTERS
That's what I thought.

"The Solution" Tyler Straven vs. The Switch Stallions w/ Valerie Snyder

After a brief discussion shortly after the bell rang, Davids started the match against Straven. Davids used his speed to play a bit of keep away from Straven, while landing kicks from a various distance to try and land some chinks in the armor of Straven. Straven eventually caught him, and landed a vicious belly to belly suplex however it flung Davids over to his own corner and he was able to tag in the smaller Donnelly. He came in like a house of fire, however Straven used his size advantage to dominate Donnelly. Straven chained together debilitating power moves and submissions to keep the smaller opponent off his feet. The match almost ended with Straven getting the Conversion slapped on Donnelly, however Davids came into the ring and broke it up. Straven tried to get a shot in at Davids, however Davids was being ushered out of the ring by the referee. In the distraction, Donnelly got a quick roll up but only a two count. Outside of the ring, Valerie Snyder got up on the apron which drew the attention of the referee. Davids took advantage of the distraction, and double teamed Straven with his partner to the crowd's cheers. After a moment however, the crowd booed as Straven's associate Steve wandered down to ringside and tried to harass Snyder. Davids saw this, and quickly bounced off the ropes and flew outside the ring landing a beautiful suicide dive that took out both men to the delight of the crowd. However, Straven was able to take advantage of the distraction and landed the Catastrophic Conclusion for the three count.

Winner: Tyler Straven

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Here is your winner of the match, "The Solution" Tyler Straven!

MARK BISHOP
Well a miscalculation among the young tag team here tonight cost them a victory, but what the Hell was that vagrant Steve doing down here?

KOKO B. WARE
Same thing Valerie Snyder was.

MARK BISHOP
Well that is true, Snyder got involved the match and that proved a momentary distraction to get the Stallions involved and even it up. That ended up costing them in the end however.

KOKO B. WARE
Yeah well that's what happens when you get a woman involved.

TAMMY WINTERS
We know you've never gotten a woman involved Koko, that's just not your style.

KOKO B. WARE
What are you inferring?

TAMMY WINTERS
If you're not smart enough to figure it out I'm not telling you.[/b]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=HVrEjsnKD6E&feature=related[/center]

[sh17]

We come back from break, and are taken inside a well appointed room. There's a brown leather highback chair on one side of the room, currently occupied by Mark Followill reading some notes from a legal pad. On the other side is a black leather couch is Vincent Matthews, who is wearing a large boot on his right ankle. We see crutches laying up against an arm of the couch, as Matthews lays back being careful to not aggravate his ankle.

MARK FOLLOWILL
I'm here with Vincent Matthews, and Vincent there's plenty to talk about with you this week so I'd like to thank you for taking the time to sit down with me at your own request. So first things first, what is the status on your ankle after the attack launched upon it by Tyler Straven?

VINCENT MATTHEWS
Well Mark, the great SNW trainer was correct when he told me that it was indeed broken. My ankle was broken in two places, luckily enough however there was no damage to my ligaments, tendons, etc. which was extremely lucky on my part. However the injury just by itself is serious enough that might keep me out of action for up to six months and at the least it will be three months.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Let's go back to 4 Up for just a moment here. You announce your return after your first ankle injury, and you seemed ready to reclaim your place at the top of SNW. What happened?

VINCENT MATTHEWS
To be honest I'm not sure. While I was on the shelf the first time, I thought I had put together why I had lost at Wrestlestock. I thought I had figured out in my own mind and in my own training what it would take to get back to my form. Then the match came, and well you saw what happened. I wasn't on my game, I was off about three steps and I ended up paying the price for it.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Let's talk about the man who did what he did to you, Tyler Straven. He ended up winning the match, but fell to James Jackson at the Cage of Death match. What do you think of this young thundercat who put you out of action?

VINCENT MATTHEWS
In all honesty, I see a lot of the old me in him. Not just in the simplistic terms, as he won his 4 Up match but then lost in Cage of Death to James Jackson just like I did last year. But the kid has a future, because he seems to be basically soulless. He has no real reservations about doing whatever to whoever, and in wrestling that will take him pretty far.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Wait, the "old me?" What do you mean by that?

VINCENT MATTHEWS
Isn't it fairly obvious Mark? This old me is outdated, and it can't work here in SNW anymore. I've got to rediscover myself, re-find my own life basically. I love this company, and I always will. So at this point, I can't possibly stay here and let myself flounder and fail like I did.

MARK FOLLOWILL
So are you telling me you're leaving SNW?

VINCENT MATTHEWS
Not exactly. Obviously I can't wrestle right now with this injured ankle. So I'm going to go away, again. I need to find myself, get back to what has made me such a great force here in SNW. How long will that take, well I'm not sure. But when I come back, however and whenever I do, it'll be when I finally figure out what's wrong and right it.

MARK FOLLOWILL
Well there you have it ladies and gentlemen, breaking news right here. Vincent, thank you for the time tonight and good luck with this process.

VINCENT MATTHEWS
Thank you Mark, take care of yourself.

Mark extends his hand, and Vincent shakes it back firmly. Vincent stands up, wincing a tad, grabs his crutches, and leaves the room as the scene goes back to ringside.

MARK BISHOP
Well we thank Mark Followill for that interview, and just a little table talk before our main event gets underway here. What is your take on what we were just told by Vincent Matthews?

KOKO B. WARE
My comment is that I didn't know he grew a vagina over his time off. He has become such a wuss now. He just needs to get out.

MARK BISHOP
Now that is very unfair and uncalled for Koko. Matthews finally seems like he's showing some compassion for his fellow human, and might become someone with a heart now.

TAMMY WINTERS
I tend to agree Mark, Matthews could be turning the corner now. Quite possibly this injury has made him reconsider life and his priorities in them.

KOKO B. WARE
I think he needs to grow a pair and act more like Tyler Straven. Maybe Straven did us a favor at 4 Up by sending him out of action.

MARK BISHOP
That is the most callous response.

"Kashmir" slowly begins to play over the sound system, and the fans boo as James Jackson walks out from the back with his Bad Blood Title around his waist. The fans lob verbal missiles at the champ, who ignores it as he walks down the aisle.

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen the following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to the ring first from Los Angeles, California. Weighing in at 220 lbs., he is the SNW Bad Blood Champion, "The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

Jackson climbs into ring, unstrapping his title from around his waist and holding it up into the air as the fans continue to boo.

MARK BISHOP
We've got a little bit of a grudge match here, as James Jackson has his first post 4 Up match here. Jackson has become the first SNW talent to ever win 4 Up two years in a row.

KOKO B. WARE
And rightfully so, Jackson is by far the greatest champion we've ever had in SNW history.

MARK BISHOP
Really? I think people like Vincent Matthews, Soul Reaper, and alike would have something to say about that.

TAMMY WINTERS
Don't argue with a drunk Mark, you can't reason with a moron.

KOKO B. WARE
And you can't agree with a slut either.

"Ole!" booms over the sound system, and the fans cheer up and scream as Chris P. comes out from the backstage area. With a wild look in his eyes, he slaps hands with the fans at aisle side on his way to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
His opponent from Clifton, New Jersey. Weighing in at 255 lbs., Chris P.!

Chris gets in the ring, and stares down Jackson who returns the glare with the same intensity as it was given to him.

MARK BISHOP
Chris P. is looking to gain a little revenge here tonight. During the Light Tube Match at 4 Up, Chris threw Andy Lionheart through the Devil's Bunk Beds. Jackson then came up behind him, then rolled him up and with a handful of tights came away with the spot in Cage of Death.

KOKO B. WARE
Why is everyone so hung up on this? I mean seriously, it's not that big of a deal.

MARK BISHOP
It was very unethical and just downright wrong Koko, Jackson used some underhanded tactics to get the victory and that hasn't made Chris P. happy.

TAMMY WINTERS
So much for a Modern Day Hero, he's nothing but a fraud.

KOKO B. WARE
You're nothing but a stupid slut, so I don't think you can really be talking sweetie.

MARK BISHOP
So much tension, good God.

"The Modern Day Hero" James Jackson vs. Chris P.

The match started with a very strong exchange of tactical wrestling holds, Jackson using his vast and varied knowledge of suplexes to keep Chris off balance. Chris in turn responded with a much more brawler centric attack. However, a quick piledriver by Chris got him a two count before Jackson kicked out of it. Chris took the opportunity and dominated the next few minutes of the match with his brute force style, which included a sidewalk slam on the outside of the ring that sent shock waves down the spine of Jackson. A big boot and reverse DDT gave Chris a good hold on the match, and several near falls but Jackson was able to break each one up and stave off defeat. The match took a shift in momentum when Chris went for a running powerslam, however Jackson was able to slide off the back of Chris and land a vicious bridging German suplex that resulted in a near fall for the Modern Day Hero. This gave Jackson the opening he needed to control the match for a good strong while, once again employing his great knowledge of all things suplexing to keep down Chris. Quickly however James looked ready to go for the Jackson Driver. However, Chris reversed out of it and landed a quick Lights Out. The crowd cheered as Chris covered Jackson ONE...TWO...Jackson gets his shoulder up THREE! The bell rings, and everyone is cheering but Jackson is on his knees yelling at the referee who is raising Chris P's hand,

[/i]

MARK BISHOP
What just happened? Chris P. looks like he had the win, but I could have sworn that Jackson got his arm up.

KOKO B. WARE
YOU DAMN RIGHT HE DID MARK! WHAT A DAMN SCREW JOB!

TAMMY WINTERS
Simmer down Koko, no he didn't.

KOKO B. WARE
Yes he clearly did you blind bitch.

MARK BISHOP
This situation could require further attention, and by the looks of it we are about to get it.

"Ecstasy of Gold" starts to play over the PA, and the fans boo as Gordon Heath walks out from the back a microphone in hand. He is obviously angry.

GORDON HEATH
Now wait just a damn minute here. I saw a replay of what just happened backstage, and I refuse to let myself be the Bud Selig to that jackass referee's Jim Joyce. So I demand that this match be restarted right this instant!

Chris P. is staring at Heath, yelling as the fans are screaming and booing at Heath as well. Jackson takes advantage of the inattentiveness of Chris, spinning him around and quickly hitting a Throat Cutter on Chris as the fans pick up their booing. Jackson covers Chris as the referee reluctantly counts ONE...TWO...THREE!

Winner: James Jackson

HARRY SACHS
Here is the winner of the match, the "Modern Day Hero" James Jackson!

MARK BISHOP
Amazing, first we have Jim Joyce screwing up a call and now here at SNW we have our own problem with officials making a wrong choice. However, here at SNW we get these things fixed because even though I don't like Heath he's not a bumbling puppet who has no real opinion on anything and performs very poorly.

KOKO B. WARE
For once I agree with you Mark, James Jackson got the second chance that he should have had the first time.

TAMMY WINTERS
I still think he lost the match...

KOKO B. WARE
Hmm, maybe Tammy is right. Jackson was on his back, and Tammy knows all about positions from your back...

MARK BISHOP
Well now that is certainly an ender here tonight. Tune in next week for Saturday Night Onslaught. Until then, stay hard, keep jammin', and remember bloody pants say I love you.

2010 EXACTLY I MEAN PRODUCTIONS[/b][/center]