Saturday Night Onslaught: 9/25/10

[Hollywood]

In a dark match that took place before Onslaught went on the air:

Killer Kong and Super Vader defeated Preston Munchinsonton and Ned Carter via pinfall after Kong hit Carter with the Kong Splash.

"Thunderkiss 65" plays in the background as a video montage of SNW highlights is played.



LIVE!! THE GORDIETORIUM!! FORT WORTH, TX!!

The fans inside the Gordietorium are going crazy as the camera pans around.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
From the Gordietorium in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas, it's Saturday Night Onslaught!

Shot switches over to the broadcast table, where Candice Crawford and Jason Martel are sitting by, wearing their headsets.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
I'm Candice Crawford, along with Jason Martel, and we're only two weeks away from Natural Selection.

JASON MARTEL
That's right. Tonight's the go-home show, and we have a stacked lineup for everyone here tonight.

"Cowboy Way" by Hellyeah booms over the PA, and the crowd voices their displeasure as Danny Palis and "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels, his Von Erich Memorial Championship around his waist, make their way to the ring, accompanied by Eddy of the Alley Ratz.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
And we're kicking things off with a huge tag team match here tonight!

HARRY SACHS
The following tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Eddy... the team of Danny "The Sahara Reign" Palis, and the SNW Von Erich Memorial Champion, "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels!

JASON MARTEL
A sneak peek of Natural Selection as we have two teammates from the Classic Rockers taking on two teammates from the Modern Rockers.

Palis, Daniels and Eddy make their way into the ring, taunting the fans as Daniels takes off his entrance gear and championship belt. "Chemical Infatuation" by Like A Storm booms over the speakers, and the crowd comes alive as Xander Nova leads Zachary Smith and Adriana Samu to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents, led to the ring by Xander Nova... the team of Zachary Smith and "Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady" Adriana Samu!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
If it wasn't for the fact that their relationship is all business going into Natural Selection, I would say that Zachary Smith and Adriana Samu make a cute couple.

JASON MARTEL
Candice, this is SNW Saturday Night Onslaught. Not "One Tree Hill."

Smith and Samu enter the ring and are ready to go.

Zachary Smith and Adriana Samu vs Danny Palis and Alex Daniels

Zach told Adriana that he wanted Palis, who had already decided to come in first, so he went in. Just as the bell rang, though, Danny tagged in Daniels. The confused Zachary Smith was hit with a Snap Hurricanranna, and then standing leg drop from his opponent. Daniels was in control for a bit, until Zach countered a Sambo Suplex by grabbing the back of Kid Thunder's head, resting the sole of his foot on Kid Thunder's chest, and pulling Kid Thunder down with a Pull Back Big Boot. Kid Thunder staggered back up as Zach ran and bounced off the ropes, following up with an STO. Zach went to pick up Kid Thunder, only to get gouged in the eyes, allowing Daniels to tag in Palis. The Sahara Reign ran in and began stomping away at Zach, then went to pick him up, only for Zach to fight back. The two fought back and forth in amazing action before Zach was able to power Danny with a T-Bone Suplex and tag in Adriana Samu. Everyone's Favourite Canadian Lady had control, starting with a Russian Leg Sweep. She worked Palis over for several minutes, then went to climb the top turnbuckle. She came flying off the top and went for a miscalculated 450 degree splash as Palis rolled out of the way, causing Samu to crash and burn. Palis tagged Kid Thunder back in. Kid Thunder picked Samu up, whipped her into the ropes and went to run the ropes himself. He rebounded off the ropes, hitting Samu with a running back elbow. Kid Thunder and Danny Palis took turns working Samu over. However, Kid Thunder got a bit too arrogant as he taunted Xander Nova. He turned around, only to get hit with a jump kick to the midsection, doubling him over. Samu grabbed his trunks, pulled them back and let go, causing the trunks to snap to his midsection, hitting the People Pleaser. Samu made the tag to Zachary Smith, who was in like a house of fire all over Kid Thunder. Smith seemed to have the match won after a brainbuster, but Danny Palis ran in and broke it up. Samu ran in and tackled him to the ground, and they rolled to the outside, where Eddy was ready and pounced on Samu, stomping away at her. Xander Nova came running over and tackled Eddy to the ground to a loud pop from the crowd. Zachary Smith then picked Kid Thunder up and hit him with the Killswitch, then went for the pin. ONE... TWO... THREE!


Winners: Adriana Samu and Zachary Smith.

HARRY SACHS
Here are your winners, Zachary Smith and Adriana Samu!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Smith and Samu pick up the victory here tonight!

JASON MARTEL
They may have won this round, but I don't think they'll have what it takes to survive come Natural Selection.

Shot switches over to inside Chris P's locker room. Chris is finishing up putting on his blue elbow pads to match his blue knee pads and blue singlet when a knock is heard at his door.

CHRIS P.
Who is it?

(voice outside the door)
It's Anton, Benson and myself!

CHRIS P.
Come on in!

In walk Anton Chigurh, Jr., S.T. Strickler and Benson. They don't look like they're in a great mood.

CHRIS P.
What's going on, guys?

S.T. STRICKLER
Looks like we're back to square one.

CHRIS P.
Back to square one?

BENSON
Yeah. Apparently, when double checking the paperwork to get James Jackson reinstated, co-owner Codi Shane found some fine print and showed it to President Myke Rhines. The president did everything he could, but there was no way that James Jackson could be reinstated.

Chris P. is livid, to say the least.

CHRIS P.
What a bunch of crap! That bitch had it in for us, I just knew it! I hope that the president can find a way to make it right for us!

ANTON CHIGURH, JR.
Well, we talked to him about that, and from what we're hearing, the Sports Nutz may be trying to get out of teaming with Versus Vince. Well, the president has been keeping tabs on the goings on behind the scenes and found out that SNW signed a new tag team to contracts.

S.T. STRICKLER
Yeah, the Douchebag Wet Dream, I think?

BENSON
I thought they were the Dorkland Cream Your Jeans.

CHRIS P.
Oh, the Deutschland Dream. Yeah, I've heard about SNW signing them. So if they take the Sports Nutz' place, that means either George or Craig could take James Jackson's spot. I believe that's where you were going with this, right, Anton?

ANTON CHIGURH, JR.
You are correct. Not to get your hopes up, but the president is going to work to see what he can do.

CHRIS P.
As long as we have a partner that we can count on, it's all gravy. I mean, if I'm not mistaken, Gordie and his boys didn't want SNW to go into this hardcore direction to begin with. That trollop, Codi Shane was all about everyone wrapping each other up in barbed wire, opening each other up with cheese graters, and doing Lord knows what else. And this goes without saying, but I'm guessing Jackson isn't here, and now our match is a 3-on-2 handicap match.

S.T. STRICKLER
Does a chicken have feathers?

CHRIS P.
Not that it matters. We'll still outwrestle those two nitwits. Let's get ready.

SNW WHEELS OFF MUSIC: VOLUME 2! COMING THIS FALL!

[Hollywood]

Camera pans around outside the Gordietorium. The lights are on out front as night has taken over the skies, and there may be the odd person strolling by out front. Candice Crawford can be heard doing a voice over.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
We're back with more Saturday Night Onslaught from the Gordietorium here in Downtown Fort Worth, and I understand that I.P. Freely is standing outside the Oval Office! Freely?

Shot switches over in front of the Oval Office, located inside the bowels of the Gordietorium. I.P. Freely is standing in front of the doors to the office as we can hear loud shouting and screaming. Sounds like the voices of Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz, and it sounds like they're saying something about "that damned Versus Vince."

I.P. FREELY
As you can probably hear behind me, the Sports Nutz and their manager and co-owner of SNW, "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath, are flipping out inside the Oval Office at President Myke Rhines. I am still not 100% certain what they are upset about, but apparently, it sounds like it may have something to do with Versus Vince. If we get more information, we'll be here to give you an update. Candice, Jason, back to you.

We're now at ringside just as“Cucina” by Drown The City begins to play. There is a mixed reaction from the crowd as Andy walks out from the back, though most of the fans seem to be cheering him on.

HARRY SACHS
This match is scheduled for one fall! Entering first, weighing in at 210 lbs. and hailing from Kemi, Finland, "The New Wave Of Extreme" Andy Lionheart!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
It sounds like Andy is slowly beginning to get the crowd back on his side!

JASON MARTEL
Yeah, it’s a shame really. He’s going to start feeding off of them again.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
The crowd always loved Andy for that, up until he joined the Perfect World.

JASON MARTEL
Which I might add, he got kicked out of! And he’s coming out here looking to be able to beat one of the members of The Perfect World, Wench.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Andy looks ready for this. I just think that he wasn’t even meant to be in the Perfect World, and that’s why they felt the need to kick him out.

JASON MARTEL
Don’t be so silly. Andy was kicked out because he wasn’t good enough for them, just like Wench said. And the same thing will happen to your boyfriend if the Cowboys don't win the Super Bowl this year.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Well we’ll see, won’t we?!

Andy continues to make his way down the ring, sliding under the ropes. He makes his way upto the top rope and plays to the crowd as “Awake and Alive” by Skillet begins to play. Andy jumps off of the rope and looks towards the entrance as Wench makes her way from the back, alone as the crowd boos loudly.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Wench actually stuck by her plan to not have Matt Margera at ringside. I'm surprised.

JASON MARTEL
Wench has always been a woman of her word. If she says he’s not going to be there, then he won’t be there.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Wench might be, but Matt Margera probably isn’t.

JASON MARTEL
Don’t be so sure. I'm sure he’s a man of his word too.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
The crowd definitely doesn’t like Wench. Maybe it's all those threats she threw Andy's way.

JASON MARTEL
Candice, they weren’t threats. They were promises. She has the ability to end Andy’s career here.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
I’m sure Andy would think otherwise.

JASON MARTEL
Andy’s weak, as Wench said herself. He doesn’t even deserve to be in the same ring as her, just like how Tony Romo doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same breath as Troy Aikman, Roger Staubach, or even Danny White.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
You wanna go head to head with Tony? I can have it arranged, you know!

Wench continues her way down the ring, sliding under the ropes and into the ring.

Wench vs Andy Lionheart

Wench and Andy stared each other down as the referee called for the bell. Both competitors circled the ring, each waiting for the other to make the first move. Andy began by trying to kick Wench in the gut, but she avoided the kick and hit Andy with a powerful right hand to the head. Wench grabbed Andy’s head and hit a Snap DDT, which Andy recovered from by rolling back up to his feet and hitting Wench with a clothesline. Andy continued to work Wench over with his speed and quickness. At one point, he thought he had the match won after a facebuster, but only got a two count for his efforts. Lionheart went to pick Wench up, but she hit him with a jawbreaker, followed by a side belly to belly suplex, followed by a quick cover, but only getting a two count. Wench then went on the offensive, working over Lionheart with speed and quickness as well. However, Wench made a huge tactical error when she ducked her head down after whipping Lionheart into the ropes. Lionheart hit Wench with a swinging neckbreaker and went for another pinfall, only getting a two count. Andy picked Wench up and went for another DDT, but Wench reversed by punching him three times in the ribs, causing him to let go. This gave her an opportunity to take him down with a huracanrana. She went to pick Andy up by the head and got in his face, saying something that was unheard to him and she grabbed hold of him and went for a Twist of Fate, but he shoved her away. Wench turned around, only for Lionheart to kick her in the gut and attempt the Lion's Heart. However, just as Lionheart was going to lift her up for the maneuver, Wench jumped up and over Lionheart, attempting to bring him down with a sunset flip. However, Lionheart got down on his knees, covering Wench for a pin attempt of his own. ONE... TWO... Wench reversed the pin into a sunset flip-esque pin... ONE.... TWO... Lionheart kicked out. Lionheart and Wench continued to battle back and forth, near falls aplenty, for the next several minutes.

Harry Sachs would remind the fans that there was ten minutes left in the time limit as the two continued to battle back and forth. Wench seemed to have the match won when she did hit the Twist of Fate. ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Lionheart somehow got his shoulder up, but barely. Frustration set in over Wench's face as she got up, then got into the ref's face, arguing with him about the count. Wench finally had enough and went back to go to work on Lionheart, only for him to roll her up in a small package! ONE... TWO... THR-NO! Wench kicked out just in the nick of time. The two continued their battle as Harry Sachs reminded the crowd that there were now five minutes left in the twenty minute time limit. More back and forth action until Lionheart whipped Wench into the corner, then charged in with a running clothesline. Lionheart held onto Wench, keeping her in the corner as he positioned himself behind her and made his way to the middle turnbuckle. Lionheart wrapped his arm around Wench's head, flipped over and nailed her with the Diamond Dust, then went for a cover, only to get a two count. The two continued to battle with whatever they had left in the tank, which wasn't much as Harry Sachs let the fans know that there was only one minute left in the time limit. Thirty seconds later, reminded them there was only thirty seconds left. Toward the end, Lionheart got a hold of Wench and kicked her in the stomach once more, then hit her with the Lion's Heart to a huge roar of approval from the crowd. However, time was winding down as Harry Sachs counted down from ten to zero. Lionheart went for the pin. ONE... TWO... Right as the ref was about to bring his hand down the third time, the bell rang, signaling that the time limit expired. Lionheart thought he had the match won, but the ref waved him off as shock and dismay came over Lionheart's face.

[/i]

HARRY SACHS
Ladies and gentlemen, the twenty minute time limit has expired. The referee's ruling is that this match ends in a draw!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
The crowd is shouting for five more minutes, but I don't believe we're going to see it.

JASON MARTEL
I'll give the devil his due. Lionheart had lady luck riding on his side tonight and he hung in there. If he had been fighting like this back when he was in the Perfect World, he would've never been kicked out to begin with.

Lionheart rolls out of the ring as he tries to catch his breath and makes his way to the back.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
A hard fought match from both Andy Lionheart and Wench here tonight. Fans, we have to take a commercial timeout, but when we come back, Mike Hanson and the Mauler of the Destruction Crew take on Soul Reaper and Tyler Guevara of the Perfect World to determine the #1 contenders to the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles. And still to come tonight, the SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion Jack Clinton teams with Versus Vince and Blake "Tiger" Snyder to take on SNW Bad Blood Champion Robert Ravencroft and the Sports Nutz.

DAMIEN'S PLAYGROUND! CHECK OUT THE BEST LOCAL HARD ROCK AND HEAVY METAL ACTS IN THE METROPLEX! OWNED AND OPERATED BY HELLSPAWN, JUST DOWN THE STREET FROM THE CAMPUS OF TCU![/center]

[Hollywood]

"Amazing Disgrace" by Diesel begins playing as we hear the following chilling words echo from the late Johnny Cash:

And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder,
One of the four beasts saying "Come and see."
And I saw.
And behold, a white horse.

Matt Margera emerges from behind the curtain, holding his horsehead cane. Behind him are Tyler Guevara and Soul Reaper.

[/color]

HARRY SACHS
The following tag team contest is scheduled for one fall and it is to determine the #1 contenders to the SNW Texas Tag Team Championship! Introducing first, representing the Perfect World and accompanied to the ring by their leader, Matt Margera... weighing in at a combined weight of 542 lbs., Tyler Guevara and Soul Reaper!

JASON MARTEL
These men are so dominant and they will destroy Destruction Crew come Natural Selection.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Well, Natural Selection is fair game. But right now, Matt Margera is in the corner of Guevara and Reaper. He's had a beef with the Gambler, and you might even see a brawl erupt between the two.

JASON MARTEL
Right, right, fair game. Exactly the opposite of what happens whenever your lover Tony Romo plays, huh?

Matt leads his disciples to the ring, all three getting a great amount of boos from the crowd. Matt signals for them to 'shove it' as Guevara and Reaper trek the stairs. They enter the ring. Reaper heads to the center of the ring, and raises his right arm, as does Tyler Guevara. Matt walks around the ring, and stands beneath the corner in which the two wait, deciding who will start first. "Oh Yeah" by Yellow begins playing to a tremendous pop from the crowd. Mauler appears first, swinging his chain wildly. The crazed look on his face as he yells "Huss, Huss" gets the fans out of their seats. Beastman appears behind him, swinging the cowbell rope to accompany the chain. Gambler accompanies the two as they head down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
And their opponents, weighing in at a combined weight of 600 lbs. and accompanied to the ring by the Gambler... Mike "Beastman" Hanson and the Mauler, they are the Destruction Crew!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
The Destruction Crew are known for doing exactly what their name says. They destroy at any means necessary.

JASON MARTEL
And most of the time, it doesn't work out. You'll see what I mean when the end of the match appears. And another thing. If they want to instill fear into people, why the hell are they coming out to the ring to that garbage music?!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Would you rather them come out to music by Nickelback?

The Destruction Crew make it to the ring. Gambler waits at the corner near the stairs that Mauler and Mike climb up. Over two different ropes, they enter the ring, and swing their items before handing them to their manager, who keeps them secure before the bell rings.

Texas Tag Title #1 Contenders Match
Tyler Guevara and Soul Reaper vs Mike Hanson and the Mauler[/i]

Guevara decided to start things off for his team, against Mike Hanson. Mike tried to power over Tyler in the beginning, but his size was too much, and he hit a Big Boot for control. After awhile of dominating his opponent, Guevara slipped up on a Olympic leg sweep. Beastman was able to use his power to hit a Double Underhook Faceplant. He then tagged in his partner, the Mauler, who exploded on Guevara. He hit a Dominator with all his strength and valor, but the Lab Rat somehow kicked out at two. Mauler stalked and waited, hitting a three point stance clothesline, followed up by a standing leg drop. Tyler desperately tried to tag in his partner, but Mauler lifted him up and slammed him down with the Brain Damage. Mauler and Mike Hanson tagged in and out on several occasions, working really well as a team. Hanson seemed to have the match won after a Texas Tornado(spinning Polish Hammer to the heart), only for Matt Margera to grab Guevara's foot and put it on the ropes, breaking up the count. Hanson tagged in Mauler, who picked up Guevara and drove him down with a Double Arm DDT. Matt hopped onto the apron and distracted the Mauler, allowing Guevara to recover and tag in Soul Reaper. Reaper powered over the unexpected Mauler, and kept him grounded for awhile. He worked quite well with Guevara, the two tagging in and out for quite some time until Soul Reaper hit a Shining Wizard, only to miss the second attempt. Mauler tagged in Mike Hanson, and the two set up for Ultimate Destruction. But when Mauler was up top, Matt Margera climbed onto the apron for a second time. Mauler climbed down onto the apron and got into Matt's face. Gambler then tripped up Margera, sending his head into the apron as he fell down to the floor to a huge pop from the crowd. Mike Hanson had let go of the American Lab Rat, but continued to punch away at him. However, with the ref trying to get Mauler back to his corner, Guevara hit Hanson with a low blow. Guevara then made the tag over to Soul Reaper. Reaper used his speed advantage to get around Mike Hanson and locked in a Dragon Sleeper. Hanson struggled to fight out of it, getting out of it after hitting a reverse jawbreaker. Hanson whipped Reaper into the ropes and went for a clothesline. However, Reaper had other ideas as he ducked under the clothesline attempt. Hanson turned around, and Reaper caught him with the Soul Stealer DDT and went for a cover. ONE... TWO... Mauler broke up the pin, prompting Guevara to run into the ring. The two of them duked it out, with Mauler Cactus-clotheslining himself and Guevara out of the ring and onto the floor. Also going on outside the ring was Gambler beating the crap out of Matt Margera all the way to the back, the two of them disappearing behind the curtain. In the ring, Reaper looked to have the match in hand as he picked Hanson up for a Reaper's Requiem, but Hanson slipped down behind Reaper, turned him around and knocked the stuffing out of him with a Lone Star Lariat, then went for the pinfall. ONE... TWO... THREE!

Winners: Destruction Crew

HARRY SACHS
The winners of this contest and #1 contenders to the SNW Texas Tag Team Championship, the Destruction Crew!

JASON MARTEL
That's bullcrap! Gambler shouldn't have interfered!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Seems to me like he was only fighting fire with fire.

JASON MARTEL
Matt Margera only deserves the best.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Keep lying to yourself.

JASON MARTEL
And you keep dating a loser like Tony Romo!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
You want me to get Tony on your case?! I'll gladly have it arranged!

JASON MARTEL
Like I'm afraid of him. He'd miss when trying to hit me just like he misses his receivers.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
You're really digging yourself into a hole now.

JASON MARTEL
I'm not the one that's 0-2, lady.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
OK, let's change the subject here. Earlier in the program, I.P. Freely was standing by outside the Oval Office and told us that the Sports Nutz and Gordon Heath were yelling at President Myke Rhines about Versus Vince, and from the sounds of things, having to team with him at Natural Selection. We go now to I.P. Freely, who once again is standing by outside the Oval Office.

Shot opens outside the Oval Office, where I.P. Freely is standing by with President Myke Rhines.

I.P. FREELY
Thank you, Candice. I am here with the President of SNW, Myke Rhines, and Mr. President, could you tell us what exactly it was that Gordon Heath and the Sports Nutz were yelling at you about?

MYKE RHINES
Well, Mr. Freely, Gordie, George and Craig were none too pleased about an incident that occurred with angst-ridden Versus Vince earlier this evening.

I.P. FREELY
An incident?

MYKE RHINES
Yes. In fact, I believe our production staff has the video of said incident ready to roll as one of our many camera operators was on the ready to shoot the footage.

PREVIOUSLY RECORDED

George is inside the SNW Lounge, located inside the Gordietorium. We see that Versus Vince and Valerie Snyder are sharing a large pepperoni pizza. Vince is drinking a Coke, while Valerie is enjoying a Dr. Pepper. George Dunpork appears from out of nowhere.

DUNPORK
Oh, thanks, Vince!

Without even asking, Dunpork just grabs a piece of pizza and proceeds to devour it as Valerie rolls her eyes. Vince is not amused.

VERSUS VINCE
Excuse me, dude, but you didn't ask. We would've gladly shared if you just simply asked.

Dunpork just smirks at Vince and Valerie as he picks up Valerie's Dr. Pepper, then "accidentally" spills it all over her. Dunpork sarcastically says "Oops." Angered by what just transpired, Vince bolts out of his seat and gets in Dunpork's face, only for Craig "Senior" Mueller to ambush Vince from behind with a running forearm smash to the back of the head. Mueller and Dunpork begin to do a number on Vince and pick him up. However, Vince gouges both of them in the eyes, then smashes their heads together with a double noggin knocker. Valerie gets in on the act, hitting Mueller with a low blow that brings him down into the fetal position, while Vince grabs someone else's bowl of chili and throws it in Dunpork's face as falls to the ground, screaming in agony as the chili is still very hot. Vince and Valerie smirk and give each other a big kiss as they walk off. The shot now goes back to I.P. Freely and Myke Rhines standing in front of the Oval Office.

I.P. FREELY
Well it looks like the Sports Nutz brought that on themselves.

MYKE RHINES
If Versus Vince had just shared his pizza with Mr. Dunpork, there would've never been such an incident. As it stands, I have allowed the Sports Nutz to take themselves off of Versus Vince's Versus Violation team, and the two are deciding who will take James Jackson's spot on Chris P's Greater Good team. Meanwhile, taking the places of George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller will be the two newest signees of SNW, Trance and Frederick Heinz, the Deutschland Dream. Vince has gone from having two guys that he could count on to help him win at Natural Selection to two unproven commodities who may very well cause his team's downfall or somesuch.

I.P. FREELY
Thank you for your time, Mr. President.

ORDERS THAT TAKE MORE THAN THIRTY MINUTES TO COOK DESPITE THE PLACE NOT BEING BUSY; WAITERS AND WAITRESSES RUNNING AROUND LIKE CHICKENS WITH THEIR HEADS CUT OFF; EMPLOYEES THAT ARE CONSTANTLY YELLING AT EACH OTHER; A HOST THAT STILL DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE IN WHAT SECTION DESPITE BEING THERE FOR SEVERAL MONTHS; IT MUST BE THE GREATNESS OF DUNPORK'S HOUSE OF BACON![/center]

[Hollywood]

"Coast"(WCW Four Horsemen theme) hits, and the crowd boos their lungs out as every light inside the Gordietorium dims except for those in the entrance area and the aisle. White smoke is constantly pumped into the entranceway as Chris P. enters in a full-body robe, flanked by S.T. Strickler, wearing a dark blue Matt Schaub Houston Texans football jersey over his red and black singlet, further making the fans inside the Gordietorium irate. And of course, Benson is looking ever so dapper in his black slacks, black dress shoes, blue dress shirt, red tie and black sports coat. Anton Chigurh, Jr. is right behind them, making sure nobody lays a hand on the Greater Good. They scan the crowd as make their way down to the ring, shaking their heads in disgust at the disrespect thrown their way.

HARRY SACHS
The following is a 3-on-2 handicap match scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by their bodyguard, Anton Chigurh, Jr... Chris P., "The Real Deal" S.T. Strickler and Benson... the Greater Good!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
In the course of the last month or so, Chris P. and the Enforcers of Pain have formed an alliance to try and rid SNW of the hardcore wrestling lifestyle.

JASON MARTEL
Did you just put "hardcore" and "wrestling" in the same sentence?!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
You have a problem with it?

JASON MARTEL
I do as a matter of fact because "hardcore wrestling" is such an oxymoron.

Anton, Chris P., and the Enforcers of Pain take notice of Ivan from Five Finger Death Punch and Erna Sully from Godsmack sitting at ringside. Ivan and Sully are giving the Greater Good the business, and the Greater Good shout at them right back. Benson takes things a step further by spitting at them. Security stops them from trying to hop the barricade as Anton Chigurh, Jr. helps the Greater Good into the ring as the spotlight disappears and the lights come back on. They take off their entrance gear and hand throw it down to the ring attendant, who falls down from having too much entrance gear thrown down on top of him. "The Nightmare Continues" by Discharge blasts over the PA, and the fans come alive, cheering their lungs out as Thumbtack Kevin walks down to the ring, high-fiving fans along the way.

HARRY SACHS
Introducing their opponents... first, from Chicago, Illinois and weighing 200 lbs... Thumbtack Kevin!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
We're getting a sneak preview of just one of many handicap variations we could see come Natural Selection. With the eliminations, we could see 3-on-2, 4-on-3, or even the dreaded 4-on-1.

JASON MARTEL
The only difference here tonight is that this match is first fall to a finish. At Natural Selection, it doesn't end until every member of a team is eliminated by pinfall, submission or knock out.

Thumbtack Kevin stops at ringside as the Greater Good dare him to get into the ring as they're ready to pounce on him. But Kevin is too smart for that. "White Knuckles" by Five Finger Death Punch blasts over the PA, and Hellspawn, wearing his mask, comes out to a mixed reaction, though it seems to be mostly cheers due to who his opponents are.

HARRY SACHS
Introducing Kevin's partner, from Hell's Kitchen and weighing 355 lbs... Hellspawn!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Hellspawn seems to have been getting more and more popular as the weeks have gone by.

JASON MARTEL
Well I can tell you right now he doesn't give a damn about these fans. All he cares about is maiming anybody that pisses him off. Unfortunately for the Greater Good, as much as I love them, they may have bitten off more than they can chew by picking on the only man to be a two time Texas Heavyweight Champion since the title came to SNW.

Hellspawn makes his way down to where Ivan and Sully are, high-fiving and fist-bumping both guys, then proceeds to enter the ring with Thumbtack Kevin as the ref manages to hold both the team of Kevin and Hellspawn and their opponents, the Greater Good, at bay.

Thumbtack Kevin and Hellspawn vs Greater Good

Benson insisted that he start for his team, so Kevin allowed Hellspawn to start for their team. The two locked up, with Benson backing Hellspawn into a neutral corner. The ref demanded a clean break, and Benson acted as if he was going to give on. However, he went for a cheap shot on Hellspawn, but Hellspawn was ready as he moved out of the way, causing Benson to crash into the corner. Hellspawn turned Benson around and laid into him with a series of forearm smashes to the face, then picked him up and dropped him facefirst onto the top turnbuckle with the Snake Eyes. Hellspawn bodyslammed Benson hard into the canvas, and Benson rolled over and made the tag to Strickler. Hellspawn yelled at Strickler, shouting "GET YOUR ASS IN THE RING!" Strickler was a bit hesitant to get in the ring, and once he did, he immediately tagged out to Chris P. and got back onto the apron, telling Chris to get in there as the audience roared with laughter. Chris just looked over at Strickler, wondering what the hell was going on when out of nowhere, Hellspawn grabbed Chris by the head and threw him into the ring to a big pop from the crowd.

Hellspawn proceeded to work over Chris P. for a bit, then made the tag to Thumbtack Kevin. Kevin showed that his wrestling skills were on par with just about everyone else in SNW as he surprised Chris P. with a solid mat wrestling strategy, countering any ground moves that Chris tried to use. Frustrated, Chris stormed over and tagged in Strickler, telling him to take care of business this time. Strickler and Kevin circled the ring for a bit, then Kevin took Strickler down with a single-leg takedown. Kevin had things going his way for the next couple of minutes until he made a big mistake. He whipped Strickler into the corner, and Anton Chigurh, Jr. sneaked over to that corner. Kevin wasn't paying attention as he was playing it up for the crowd, then charged in and went for a leg lariat in the corner. But Anton grabbed Strickler by the feet, dragging him out of the ring and causing Kevin to crash his ankle into the top turnbuckle as he fell down to the mat, grabbing his ankle and screaming in pain.

Strickler, Benson and Chris P. all took turns working Kevin over, focusing on the ankle as they made quick tags in and out. After several minutes, Chris P. was tagged back in, and he was ready to go in for the kill. He picked Kevin up, pumphandled him up and hit a running pumphandle slam(the Old School Slam). Chris then looked over toward the corner and decided to climb up to the top turnbuckle. He taunted the crowd and pointed over at Ivan and Sully, telling them that this move was for them. Chris came flying off the top turnbuckle and went for the End Game(flying elbow smash), but Kevin rolled out of the way as Chris crashed and burned. Both men struggled over to their corner for a tag, and Chris P. managed to tag in Benson first, but Kevin was able to make the tag to Hellspawn. Hellspawn ran in, raining down right hand punches over Benson, knocking him down. Strickler came running in, only for Hellspawn to kick him in the gut, lift him up on his shoulders, and bring him down hard with a muscle buster. Chris P. ran into the ring and charged after Hellspawn, only for Hellspawn to pick him up in a military press. Hellspawn turned around, holding Chris up in the military press. As Hellspawn was turning, Chris' feet accidentally knocked the referee down momentarily. Hellspawn pressed Chris up and down several times, then brought him down with a gut buster. Unbeknown to Hellspawn, Benson was back up and clipped Hellspawn in the back of the leg, knocking him down. Strickler was back up, and he and Benson stomped away at Hellspawn, only for Kevin to re-enter the ring, hobbling just a bit as his ankle seemed to be healing up from the rest. Kevin went over and started punching away at Strickler, but Benson grabbed Kevin and brought him down hard with a standing powerbomb. Chris P. struggled back up, and went over and grabbed a hold of the ropes, stomping away at Hellspawn, keeping him at bay while Benson grabbed Kevin's legs and locked him in a Texas Cloverleaf while Kevin was out cold. Anton Chigurh, Jr. helped the ref back up and pointed him over to Benson having Kevin locked in the Texas Cloverleaf. Knowing the ref couldn't see that well by this point, Strickler went over and grabbed Kevin's hand, bringing it up and down, fooling the ref into thinking Kevin tapped out. The ref called for the bell as a result, and the fans were very displeased as they booed their lungs out while "Coast" came on over the speakers.

Winners: Greater Good

HARRY SACHS
Your winners of the match, the Greater Good!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
They stole the match! Thumbtack Kevin wasn't even the legal man!

JASON MARTEL
I'm pretty sure he tagged in via osmosis while the ref was down.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Oh come on, that's a crock and you know it!

George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller run down to the ring and join the Greater Good in beating down Kevin and Hellspawn as the timekeeper frantically rings the bell.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Hey, the match is over! There's no call for this!

JASON MARTEL
The Greater Good is just trying to make their work easier by getting rid of the hardcore riffraff before Natural Selection.

The fans go crazy as Jack Clinton, Versus Vince and Alexander Draven run down to the ring. Clinton has his championship belt, and Vince and Draven have steel chairs, with Draven's chair being wrapped up in barbed wire. They swing their weapons around, chasing the Greater Good and the Sports Nutz out of the ring. The Greater Good and Sports Nutz back up away from the ring, yelling and pointing at Clinton, Vince and Draven, who go down to check on Kevin and Hellspawn.

JASON MARTEL
Now what business is it of Jack Clinton and Versus Vince to come running down here?! They're not at war with the Greater Good!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
No, but they do have their match against the Sports Nutz tonight. Not to mention that Andy Lionheart is probably still worn out from that exhausting match he had with Wench earlier this evening, so they joined up with Dark Sun to even the odds.

JASON MARTEL
Clinton and Vince better have eyes in the back of their heads, because they have just made themselves targets for the Greater Good.

The shot switches to a black screen with text of upcoming SNW events flashing on the screen while "Nervous Breakdown" by Hardcore Superstar plays in the background.

October 9, 2010
Natural Selection
SOLD OUT!
Doors Open- 5:30 PM
Bell Time- 7:00 PM
The Gordietorium
Fort Worth, TX


October 23, 2010
Saturday Night Onslaught
Doors Open- 6:30 PM
Bell Time- 7:40 PM
The Gordietorium
Fort Worth, TX


November 6, 2010
Saturday Night Onslaught
Doors Open- 6:30 PM
Bell Time- 7:40 PM
The Gordietorium
Fort Worth, TX


November 20, 2010
Guys Night Out
Bell Time- 11:40 PM
Ol' South Pancake House
Fort Worth, TX


December 4, 2010
Saturday Night Onslaught
Doors Open- 6:30 PM
Bell Time- 7:40 PM
The Gordietorium
Fort Worth, TX


December 18, 2010
Desperate Measures
TICKETS ON SALE 10/5/10!
Doors Open- 5:30 PM
Bell Time- 7:00 PM
Brownwood Coliseum
Brownwood, TX


THE END GAME! PRE-ORDER SNW '11 FOR THE PS3, XBOX 360 OR NINTENDO WII, AND GET AN END GAME EXCLUSIVE CODE TO UNLOCK THE WORLD FAMOUS SPORTATORIUM IN DALLAS WITHOUT HAVING TO UNLOCK IT IN THE NEW ROAD TO WRESTLESTOCK MODE!

[Hollywood]

Shot statics in to the usual room that Brenda Price is in, standing in front of the Natural Selection banner. "Show Me What You Got" by Powerman 5000 is playing in the background.

BRENDA PRICE
Welcome to the Natural Selection Report. I'm Brenda Price, and folks, Natural Selection is only two weeks away. Saturday night, October 9, 8 PM EST/7 PM CST, from the sold out Gordietorium in Downtown Fort Worth, Texas. The only way now to check it out is to call your cable or satellite provider and order this great event through a PPV basis.

Folks, there have been a ton of changes as of late to the teams that will be put together at Natural Selection. As you saw earlier, Versus Vince had pissed off the Sports Nutz to the point that they didn't want to team up with him, and President Myke Rhines has honored their request. On the same token, SNW has signed some new talent recently that you may have seen on SportsNutzWrestling.com, Trance and Frederick Heinz, along with their valet, Jerusha, to form the Deutschland Dream. Put two and two together, and this is the match you now have. Team captain Versus Vince teams with Samuel Hale and the Deutschland Dream to form the Versus Violation. They will take on the team captained by Goryokaku, who teams up with Marcus Ryan, Austin Virgo and Blake "Tiger" Snyder to form the Darkness.

Also earlier tonight, we found out that there was some fine print preventing President Myke Rhines from being able to reinstate James Jackson. However, the Sports Nutz, after ditching Versus Vince, expressed interest in one of them teaming with Chris P. and the Enforcers of Pain. It is my understanding that George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller played a game of paper-rock-scissors, and Craig won. So it'll be team captain Chris P., along with Craig "Senior" Mueller and the Enforcers of Pain to form the Greater Good. They take on the team captained by Thumbtack Kevin, who teams up with Hellspawn, Andy Lionheart, and Alexander "Dark Sun" Draven, as they form Hardcore Blood.

Team captain Zachary Smith teams up with all three members of the Texas Tag Team Champions, Y Kores, to form the Modern Rockers. They take on team captain Danny "The Sahara Reign Palis, Von Erich Memorial Champion "Kid Thunder" Alex Daniels and the Alley Ratz, the Classic Rockers.

Team captain Matt Margera teams up with Wench, Soul Reaper and "The American Lab Rat" Tyler Guevara, the Perfect World. They take on team captain Super Vader, Killer Kong, Mike "Beastman" Hanson and the Mauler, the Destruction Crew, and no doubt the Gambler will be at ringside for the Destruction Crew.

And our main event at Natural Selection will be a Submission Corner Match for the SNW Texas Heavyweight Title. Bad Blood Champion, Robert Ravencroft, whose belt will not be on the line, will have his sister Lenore Ravencroft in his corner. He challenges Texas Heavyweight Champion, Jack Clinton, for the Texas Heavyweight Championship, and Clinton will have Versus Vince in his corner. The only way to win this match is to have your opponent's corner person throw in the towel. Screaming "I quit!", "I submit!" or even tapping out won't end this match. The corner person must throw in the towel, and only then will the match. This match could go on all night as I can't see either corner throwing in the towel for various reasons. Lenore, for one, has her brother to thank for having a job here in SNW. On the other hand, Vince has no plans to screw over someone who has become a good friend of his.

Folks, it bears repeating that the only way to see this is on PPV, live October 9 at 8 PM EST/7 PM CST. Call your local cable or satellite provider now and order Natural Selection!

Shot statics out, then switches over to ringside where Harry Sachs is standing in the middle of the ring. “Chicken Huntin” by Insane Clown Posse begins to play over the speakers, and Twitch makes his way out from the back to massive amount of boos from the crowd. Twitch shakes his head as he makes his way toward the ring.

HARRY SACHS
This match is scheduled for one fall, with everyone barred from ringside. Introducing first, weighing in at 195 lbs and hailing from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada... one half of the Alley Ratz... Twitch!

JASON MARTEL
And here comes Twitch! He’s looking like he’s ready for tonight’s match against Rory Kotch.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Yeah, maybe so, but the crowd clearly doesn’t even want to see him here.

JASON MARTEL
Well I don’t see what's wrong with him. I love the Ally Ratz because they provide me with so much humor. The Dallas Cowboys do as well, but for the fact that it's hilarious to see them get their asses handed to them like the peewee football brats that they are.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Well judging by the hatred this crowd has for Twitch, they can’t wait for Rory Kotch to make her way to the ring. I just don’t know how either competitor will fare without their teammates by them for support.

JASON MARTEL
I know that Twitch will do just fine.

Twitch makes his way into the ring, where he taunts the crowd before waiting in the corner for his opponent. “The Beautiful People” By Marilyn Manson begins to play and the crowd erupts with a huge pop as Rory Kotch walks out from the back, staring at her opponent and twirling the pipe in her hand as she walks down the aisle.

HARRY SACHS
And his opponent, weighing in at 200 lbs. and hailing from Moscow, Russia... representing the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions, Y Kores... Rory Kotch!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Now this is a wrestler the women here tonight can look up to! The crowd loves Rory Kotch!

JASON MARTEL
Yeah, but the fans are all fools. They don’t know who’s right and who’s wrong to cheer for.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Jason, without the fans, we wouldn't be here because they pay our bills.

JASON MARTEL
No they don't. The paychecks we get from SNW pays our bills.

Rory Kotch vs Twitch

Rory continued her way down to the ring and walked close to Twitch, taunting him with her pipe. The referee forced Rory go to her own corner and to give him the pipe, which she did just as Twitch ran over and ambushed her. He hit her with a clothesline that knocked her down, then went to work stomping away at her. The referee made Twitch step away to allow Rory to get back up to her feet. Just as Rory managed to get back to her feet, Twitch tried to run and attack her again. But this time, she expected it and hit Twitch with a powerful punch to the stomach, stopping him in his tracks. She followed up with a snap suplex. Rory stomped on Twitch several times before stepping back and allowing Twitch to get back to his feet. Rory ran over and went for a clothesline, but Twitch ducked under. Rory turned around, only to get hit with a powerful DDT, followed up by a series of elbow drops from Twitch. Rory managed to get back to her feet quite quickly but was caught by a front dropkick. Twitch continued to work Rory over, dominating the next several minutes. After taking her down with a hiptoss off an Irish whip into the ropes, Twitch went to climb the top turnbuckle. Rory staggered back to her feet and turned around, only to get taken down with a Dragonrana from Twitch. However, Twitch could only get a two count for his efforts. Twitch backed away into the corner as Rory Kotch got back up to her feet. Twitch charged in, but Rory caught him with a quick chokeslam. She got to her feet almost instantly after the chokeslam and picked Twitch up by his head, whipping him into the corner. After she punched him in the head a couple of times, she lifted him onto the top rope, then hit a massive superplex. Both competitors were down and out as the referee began to count. 1...2...3...4...5...6... Both Rory and Twitch made it to their feet at the same time. Twitch tried to grab hold of Rory, but to no avail as she hit him with the Iron Curtain and went for a quick cover.

1...2...3!

The referee called for the bell as “Beautiful People” by Marilyn Manson began to play and Rory celebrated her win to a huge pop from the crowd.

Winner: Rory Kotch

HARRY SACHS
And the winner of this match, "The Assassin" Rory Kotch!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Well that was a well deserved win for one-third of the SNW Texas Tag Team Champions, Rory Kotch!

JASON MARTEL
I don’t think so! Twitch should have had that match won! He was on the offense most of the match!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
It was back and forth, I'll grant you that. However, Rory was dominant at the end when it mattered the most and had the match in the bag.

JASON MARTEL
Twitch deserved to win. In fact, I think the Cowboys would be 2-0 right now if he was their quarterback!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Oh shut up, Jason!

We can hear the last minute of "Hey Man, Nice Shot" by Filter playing in the background as we see various highlights from past SNW shows as described by the pre-recorded voiceover given by Candice Crawford.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
It's SNW: In the Beginning- Volume 1! Adriana Samu takes on Hannah in SNW's first ever match! Viper takes on Syco Boy in SNW's first ever main event! Hellspawn, Syco Boy, Wench and Viper do battle in the Cage of Death at the first ever 4 Up! Wench takes on Hellspawn for the SNW Texas Heavyweight Title on the very first edition of Guys Night Out! Emo Kid, Andrew Smith, Dreadlock and Andy Lionheart fight all over the Curtain Club in Deep Ellum in a Fans and Wrestlers Bring the Weapons Match! More chaos inside the Curtain Club as the result of a Von Erich Memorial Championship Battle Royal! And Syco Boy takes on Goryokaku at the State Fair of Texas! It's SNW: In the Beginning- Volume 1! Available now on DVD and Blu Ray!

SPORTS NUTZ WRESTLING! IT'S BETTER THAN SNIFFING SOME GIRL'S ASS!

[Hollywood]

We see random highlights of all the various SNW wrestlers set to the tune of "Show Me What You Got" by Powerman 5000. Co-owner Codi Shane provides the voice over for the Natural Selection promo.

CODI SHANE
The Destruction Crew looks to settle the score with the Perfect World! Versus Vince doesn't know if he can trust his team of the Versus Violation as he takes on Goryokaku's cohesive Darkness unit! Classic rock and modern rock clash as Zachary Smith leads his Modern Rockers against Danny Palis' Classic Rockers! No rules clashes with catch-as-catch-can rules as Thumbtack Kevin leads Hardcore Blood into battle against Chris P. and the Greater Good! And who will throw in the towel as Jack Clinton, with Versus Vince in his corner, defends the Texas Heavyweight Championship against Bad Blood Champion, Robert Ravencroft, who will have his sister, Lenore Ravencroft, in his corner?! It's survival of the fittest at Natural Selection! Live, Saturday night, October 9, only on PPV! Call your local cable or satellite provider now!

"Ecstasy of Gold" by Ennio Morricone is playing over the PA as Gordon Heath leads George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller, dressed in their entrance gear, out to the ring to tremendously loud boos from the crowd.

HARRY SACHS
The following six man tag team contest is set for one fall! Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath... the team of George Dunpork and Craig "Senior" Mueller, the Sports Nutz!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
How dare George Dunpork soil the helmet of the Dallas Cowboys! And look at how ridiculous Craig Mueller looks in that hockey helmet, wearing it with basketball warm ups!

JASON MARTEL
Candice, they're doing what your boyfriend isn't very good at doing: styling and profiling.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Styling and profiling?! Do they fly jets and ride limousines too?

George and Craig are throwing peanuts at the ringside fans as Gordie can't help but laugh at them. George takes things a bit too far as he goes up to Sully and Ivan, belching in their faces. Sully and Ivan look at each other, cocking their eyebrows up, look over at George, and laugh their heads off at him, infuriating him as he storms up the steps and into the ring. However, George seems to have some trouble as he trips over the ropes and falls down, his football helmet falling off as the crowd roars with laughter. Craig quickly takes off his hockey helmet and warm ups(now dressed in his shorts and San Antonio Spurs Suck! basketball jersey) and goes down to try and help George. Gordie tries to help as well as their music dies down and "Vampire Rock Anthem" by Solidium takes over. The lights go out, and an eerie red fog drifts across the entrance area. Lenore Ravencroft leads her brother, Robert Ravencroft(dressed in a purple robe and wearing his Bad Blood Title around his waist), down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner, accompanied to the ring by his sister, Lenore Ravencroft... from San Antonio, Texas and weighing in at 250 lbs... the SNW Bad Blood Champion, Robert Ravencroft!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
One could question the wisdom of both champion and challenger in accepting this match just two weeks away from Natural Selection when this man, Robert Ravencroft, challenges Jack Clinton for the Texas Heavyweight Title.

JASON MARTEL
Well it's a chance for both men to soften each other up, no doubt about that. But what I have to wonder is just who will blink first and throw in the towel?

Lenore takes her spot at ringside at the behest of Robert. Robert then proceeds to walk up the steps and into the ring, taking off his robe and handing it to the ring attendant as the lights come back on and his music dies down. "Guerrilla Radio" by Rage Against The Machine blasts over the PA, and the boo birds are still out in full force as Blake Snyder, wearing a white and blue plaid shirt over his ring gear, appears from behind the curtain and places his fist in front of his chest, sneering at the fans. He runs down to the ring and rolls in, putting his hand in front of his chest as he laughs at the fans and taunts them.

HARRY SACHS
Their opponents... first, already in the ring... from Coon Rapids, Minnesota and weighing 224 lbs... Blake "Tiger" Snyder!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Tonight, Blake Snyder has to put his differences with Versus Vince aside as they must team together.

JASON MARTEL
I personally can't wait for Natural Selection when you know that they will just tear each other apart.

Blake's music dies down as "You Can Run" by Jim Johnston hits over the loud speakers. The fans come to their feet and let out a big pop as Valerie Snyder leads Versus Vince out from behind the curtain, with Vince raising his right arm in the air.

HARRY SACHS
His partner is accompanied to the ring by Valerie Snyder... from Truth or Consequences, New Mexico and weighing in at 195 lbs... Versus Vince!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
A kid who was ROBBED of his rightful opportunity to challenge Jack Clinton for the Texas Heavyweight Championship at Natural Selection by President Myke Rhines! I'm surprised there weren't impeachment hearings.

JASON MARTEL
Why would there be impeachment hearings when the president was simply enforcing the rules of the title contention? He found that Versus Vince was actually the #2 contender, so he took him out of the title match.

Vince and Valerie slap hands with the fans on the way to the ring. Valerie takes her spot in her team's corner until Vince whispers something in her ears. She nods her head and walks back up the aisle and to the back. Robert Ravencroft sees what's transpiring and goes to talk to Lenore, who proceeds to leave ringside as well.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
What is going on here?

JASON MARTEL
I can't read lips or minds, but it looks like both Vince and Robert were warning Valerie and Lenore respectively that things could get ugly out here and they don't want any harm done to them.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Hard to believe that Robert Ravencroft would NOT want any harm done to Lenore.

JASON MARTEL
Well he probably knows there would be big ramifications if she's unable to be at ringside at Natural Selection. And at the end of the day, it IS his sister.

"Enter Sandman" by Metallica hits over the PA, and the crowd really erupts as they know who's about to appear. Twenty-three seconds into the song, Jack Clinton, wearing his Texas Championship around his waist, appears from behind the curtain and makes his way down to the ring.

HARRY SACHS
Their partner, hailing from San Diego, California and weighing 355 lbs... he is the SNW Texas Heavyweight Champion... Jack Clinton!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Jack Clinton has been on a roll ever since he lost at 4 Up when he failed to cash in on his Balance Of Power opportunity going one-on-one against Chris Angel.

JASON MARTEL
I'll give the big oaf his due. He didn't give up and took advantage of two other guys wearing Chris Angel down at Summer Bash to become the new Texas Heavyweight Champion.

Clinton nears the ring and takes off his Texas Championship belt before sliding in and going over to his partners.

Jack Clinton, Versus Vince and Blake Snyder vs Robert Ravencroft and Sports Nutz

The Sports Nutz just nodded their heads at Ravencroft, who stared them down. Clinton, meanwhile, talked things over with Vince and Snyder, telling them that they needed to get with it tonight and wait two more weeks to throw down. Vince nodded in agreement and said he'd do his part. Snyder nodded his head as well and even took the initiative to start the match off against Robert Ravencroft, only to cold cock Vince down to the mat to loud boos from the crowd. Clinton shoved Snyder, yelling at him what all that was about, only for Ravencroft and the Sports Nutz to run and ambush Clinton, taking him down to his knees as they wailed away at him. Snyder, meanwhile, followed Vince(who had since rolled out of the ring) to the outside. However, Vince had other plans as he came back and caught Snyder with a right hand, and the two of them were now brawling all over ringside, taking the fight amongst the crowd. Clinton, meanwhile, was fighting back against the Sports Nutz and Ravencroft. Clinton ducked a double-team clothesline attempt by the Sports Nutz, then clotheslined them down when they turned around. Ravencroft charged in after Clinton, but Clinton took him down with a big boot. Gordie grabbed George's football helmet and tossed it over to him, then tossed Craig's hockey helmet to him as both Sports Nutz staggered back up. Craig sneaked up behind Clinton first and hit him with the hockey helmet, but that only enraged Clinton as he slowly turned around to face Craig. However, Clinton wasn't prepared for George to blast him upside the head with his football helmet, knocking the Texas Champion down. They began stomping away at the champion. The ref tried to stop them, but Ravencroft grabbed him and knocked him unconscious with the Good Nightmare.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
This is breaking down in a hurry!

JASON MARTEL
I knew this was going to happen! Hey, look over on the monitor here!

The camera shot switches over to the concourse area, where we see Austin Virgo, Blake Snyder and Goryokaku working together to beat down Versus Vince. The tide turns, however as Frederick Heinz leads Trance by the arm, and they even up the odds as a big brawl breaks out among the six men in the concourse area. The shot goes back to ringside, and we see Alexander Draven and Hellspawn running into the ring to even the odds up against the Sports Nutz. Robert Ravencroft and Jack Clinton are going at it. The Greater Good runs down to the ring to help the Sports Nutz try and beat down Draven and Hellspawn. However, Andy Lionheart runs in with a barbed wire baseball bat and levels Craig Mueller in the back with it, causing Craig to arch backward and stretch his arms out as he screams in pain. Craig turns around, and Lionheart levels him in the midsection with the barbed wire bat, bringing Craig down to the canvas. The Greater Good and George Dunpork then swarm in on Lionheart, taking him down. But Thumbtack Kevin begins limping down to the ring. The Greater Good and George Dunpork turns to see him and laugh him off, then turn their attention back to Lionheart, and they also keep up on the attack on Draven and Hellspawn. Clinton clotheslines himself and Ravencroft out of the ring and onto the floor, and the crowd is at a fever pitch. Thumbtack Kevin, knowing that his rivals are not paying attention, begins jogging in place with a big grin on his face, then goes back to "limping" as he makes his way up the turnbuckle. Strickler turns around, and Kevin comes flying off the top turnbuckle with a missile dropkick, taking Strickler down. It's a free for all inside the ring, and outside the ring, Clinton has Ravencroft locked in a Boston Crab, with Ravencroft tapping out like crazy on the floor. Many lower level wrestlers such as Mike LaFontaine, Jive Talkin' Stu, Burrito Jimmy, Ned Carter, and the Alternative Lifestylers, run down to the ring to try and calm things down. But they wind up getting the crap beat out of them by everyone else.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
What?! The SNW Lounge?! What's going on there?!

Shot switches to inside the SNW Lounge, and we see the Perfect World and Destruction Crew all going at it, tearing the place up. Super Vader slams Wench through a table with a Vader Bomb, only to turn around and eat a Benihana from Matt Margera, knocking him down to the floor. Mike Hanson smashes his cowbell upside Matt Margera's head, then goes down to carve up his forehead with it, causing blood to gush out of Margera's head. Reaper and Guevara are paired off with Mauler and Killer Kong respectively. Mauler throws Reaper into a table of loud drunk MILFs who aren't paying attention, knocking the MILFs down and out. Meanwhile, Tyler Guevara smashes a pool cue over Killer Kong's head.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
The Perfect World and Destruction Crew are tearing up the SNW Lounge!

JASON MARTEL
Hell, the Mauler took out a group of cougars along with Soul Reaper!

CANDICE CRAWFORD
We have just about everyone out here at ringside, meanwhile, holding everyone else back. And now I'm hearing in my headset that a brawl has broken out in front of the Gordietorium!

Out in front of the Gordietorium, we see Danny Palis, Kid Thunder, and the Alley Ratz all brawling with Zachary Smith and Y Kores. Things really get out of hand as Petrina Rotchester throws Danny Palis onto the hood of a parked car, with the back of Palis' cowboy boot kicking a slight crack into the windshield.

JASON MARTEL
Hey, isn't that your car?

CANDICE CRAWFORD
No, worse... It's my boyfriend's car!!!

Kid Thunder is duking it out with Adriana Samu, while Rory Kotch and Zachary Smith are brawling with the Alley Ratz.

CANDICE CRAWFORD
Fans, we're out of time! See you at Natural Selection in two weeks!

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