BREAKING NEWS! Hellspawn sells his SNW shares

[Hollywood]

Word has come down that Hellspawn has sold his 52% shares of SNW to former WCE owner, Vince Bischoff. A press conference is scheduled for later today, and will be streamed live here on SNW.com.

[Hollywood]

Shot opens inside the press conference room at the Dallas Cowboys headquarters in Valley Ranch, TX. Hellspawn and Vince Bischoff enter the room and take their seats at the press conference table.

HELLSPAWN
I'm sure you all read the news on SNW.com. I am hear to confirm that due to mounting responsibilities as a father, as a lover, and as the SNW Texas Champion, I can no longer run the day to day operations of a wrestling promotion. As a result, I am selling my 52% shares of Sports Nutz Wrestling to the man to my left, former WCE owner and CEO, Vince Bischoff. I will now turn the floor over to him.

VINCE BISCHOFF
Thank you, Hellspawn. Almost one year ago, WrestleCrap Entertainment folded. I have been biding my time, waiting for the right opportunity to come along, and I have found that with the offer that Hellspawn presented to me to become 52% owner of Sports Nutz Wrestling, with the other 48% owned by a man I know very well from my time as WCE owner, "The Excellent Gordie" Gordon Heath. Now before we move on, Hellspawn has a few announcements to make for his last acts as partial owner of SNW.

HELLSPAWN
First and foremost, the Texas Tag Team Title situation needs to be settled once and for all. So on the October 11 edition of SNW Onslaught, emanating from Pilot Point High School in Pilot Point, Texas, the SNW Texas Tag Team Titles will be defended in a Four Corners Tag Match, with the match being elimination style. The match will not end until one team is left. The current reigning champions, Wench and Goryokaku, will defend the titles against the Sports Nutz, the Alley Ratz and Xtreme Team. The other big announcement concerns our next PPV, which will emanate from the Daniel Meyer Coliseum in Fort Worth, Texas. Our next PPV is Stable Wars on October 26. There will be several team elimination matches involving some of the established stables of SNW, as well as some teams thrown together by SNW management. The survivors of the elimination tag matches will represent their team in a TLC match where the winning team will be the supreme stable and or team of all of SNW. Gordon Heath and Vince Bischoff will collaborate on a reward for the winning team before Stable Wars arrives. And at Stable Wars, I will put my Texas Championship on the line against the #1 contender, Silvus. The type of match has yet to be determined. We will now take any questions you have.

REPORTER #1
Mr. Bischoff, what are your plans for SNW?

VINCE BISCHOFF
Right now SNW is running as smooth as it can. All I'm going to worry about is keeping it that way.

REPORTER #2
Any plans to fill the General Manager and Commissioner positions in SNW?

VINCE BISCHOFF
I have filled those positions with two WCE alumni, Fish Russo and Brian Carrots.

REPORTER #3
Mr. Bischoff, you said that your main concern is keeping things in SNW running smooth. How can you guarantee that, considering your track record in WCE, with that now defunct company's shows always ending in mass riots?

VINCE BISCHOFF
We will not be addressing any questions concerning WCE. If you have a question about SNW, I'll be more than happy to answer it. If not, then don't bother.

REPORTER #4
Is it true that Glacier is still under contract to SNW? And if so, in what capacity is he going to be used?

VINCE BISCHOFF
Glacier was on the roster?!

REPORTER #4
Well didn't you watch one of the more recent SNW shows?

VINCE BISCHOFF
I never really watched any of the shows. Hellspawn just told me about how successful the promotion was, and I thought I'd take a chance.

Everyone seems to be dumbfounded that Vince Bischoff never bothered to do any research about SNW before taking over Hellspawn's shares. Hellspawn and Vince Bischoff end the press conference and thank everyone for coming out.